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Thread: Baby daddy drama

  1. #1
    Newbie Ya'Mani's Avatar
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    Default Baby daddy drama

    So, my son's father (Anthony) is in federal prison. My son is 1 and Anthony has been in prison for almost two years. So he was in prison during my entire pregnancy. The problem is, I'm caring for our son alone and Anthony of course wants my full support. This includes regular visits, emails, money, collect calls, everything. This is my first child and it has been difficult and stressful and lonely. I haven't been with anyone since he's been in prison. My problem is, I haven't been to visit him regularly and he feels a certain way about it. I hate visiting because I feel uncomfortable there and the guards always give me a hard time. I'm just tired of dealing with this issue. Am I wrong?

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Baby daddy drama

    um NO you aren't wrong! hun, i went through the same thing, as did my best friend. my sons' father did something stupid when my son was first born and went to prison, then again when he was 2..and he would constantly be making collect calls to me ( on MY dime) and asking for money and visits, and get pissy with me if i didn't write him letters every day and use my gas money to visit him with a crying baby.
    i dont mean to sound harsh, but if he was real man he would want whats best for you and his son, and not want you to feel uncomfortable or stressed. you were left holding the damn bag and you are raising his son on your own..god, men like that make me so angry.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Baby daddy drama

    Like Simone said, he fked up & left you alone to take care of things. He does not get to add to the stress he has already been causing you. Tell him to take that 'tude & find a creative place to stick it, b/c you've got two full plates already.

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    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: Baby daddy drama

    Alright, I'm going to lay down my truth for you. I spent about six months in a prison relationship. My boyfriend of a year and a half went to prison and I thought I could "ride for him" or whatever BS you wanna call it. It was one of the worst mistakes I have made. Gas money, driving, hotel expenses, taking time off from work to visit him, putting money on his books, writing him every day, waiting around when you know he has phone time scheduled - that "lifestyle" is a LOT of work! In that type of relationship you will see NO return on that work while your man is away. Even when he returns your relationship will have many new challenges that often require intense couples therapy. You and your guy have a child together and I can't imagine how hard it must be to cut out the father of your child but I have to recommend you take care of yourself FIRST. I'm not saying you have to leave your man but you have to be straight with him - "listen up dude, you went away and I am not in a position to be there 100% for you right now, I love you but I need to spend all of my energy right now setting up a solid single parent home for our son. I will write you soon when I feel as if I have my head together". BAM. I'm sorry to go on so long but this is an issue that's important to me.

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