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Thread: So painfully shy around family... Made an ass of myself...

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    Default So painfully shy around family... Made an ass of myself...

    I've always been a shy little girl, especially around family. It's funny, I dance naked no problem but around family I get anxiety and end up sitting alone looking bitchy making an ass of myself. Tonight is Christmas Eve, and my grandma kept urging me to get up and make my plate, but I didn't want to get up because everyone would stare, so I'm sitting here while everyone else is eating having a good time. Why am I like this??! I'm so embarrassed but I can't help it. I'm so painfully shy >_>

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    Newbie sarah_js's Avatar
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    Default Re: So painfully shy around family... Made an ass of myself...

    i totally know how you feel. i'm not shy when naked on a stage with a spotlight on me. but talking to strangers in public or making new friends terrifies me! probably the best advice is to remember that nobody really gives a shit. everyone else is worried about what others are thinking about them too! everyone has these feelings sometimes. most people just learn to ignore them and go ahead living anyway. you've got to relax, you're probably over-thinking everything. i'm still struggling with these things, but they have definitely gotten easier as i've gotten older and mellowed out a bit.
    just try to remember that everyone else is a person just like you, with crazy things going on in their heads too! and PLENTY of people are just as scared and shy as you are, so sometimes it can be really worthwhile to just make a leap and ask them a simple boring question and maybe end up having a good conversation and making a connection.

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    Default Re: So painfully shy around family... Made an ass of myself...

    are you close to your family?

    Family generally means people who love you unconditionally. I would think if you are close to them you'd know they are not judging you and would not be afraid to stand in front of them to fix your plate.

    Also, I'd think your family members would be too busy eating or chatting with each other to worry about you standing and fixing your plate.

    Maybe you are being too harsh on yourself and being your own worst critic

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    Default Re: So painfully shy around family... Made an ass of myself...

    I feel your pain! Im not shy on stage or with anyone else, but when I get around them I feel socially awkward, weird... like theyre judging me. My family is country, ghetto and loud and Im more reserved, speak proper, etc and its just always been uncomfortable so I stopped gong, havent seen them in 3 years and could care less.

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    Default Re: So painfully shy around family... Made an ass of myself...

    This is how I was in school too. I definitely have undisguised social anxiety and idk why! The only family I'm close with is my mom and grandma. Cousins, uncles, etc I turn into a robot. I think it's cuz I've been the baby all my life within my cousins.

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    Default Re: So painfully shy around family... Made an ass of myself...

    Being shy is often a result of putting too much focus on yourself rather than those around you. So instead of making up things you think the other people will think or say about you, focus on putting them at ease, and making them feel good about themselves. When you put your mind on others, rather than yourself, you won't have time to worry about what others think about you.

    ETA: another thing you can do is become an actress and play a part. I have leftover shyness from when I was in school also, but I actually did become an actress and acted in a lot of the school plays (good parts!) and that really brought me out of my shell. Ever since then, if I find myself in a situation where I feel uncomfortable, I just play the part I want to portray: the perfect job applicant, the sweet girl your son is dating, the happy go lucky girl at the party...etc...

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