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Thread: The Introverted Stripper

  1. #1
    Veteran Member lady_lazarus's Avatar
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    Lightbulb The Introverted Stripper

    I've recently had one of those "aha!" moments where I've realized that my naturally introverted personality is actually something that can be very beneficial for working at the club and not something I need to force myself to change. A lot of us assume we need to act a certain way, usually the extroverted party girl type, hot and super flirty "porn star" (without the sex) even the bratty girl next door has extroverted qualities....while I've always tried to cultivate a fun persona, I've been finding it harder and more emotionally and psychologically draining to keep this act up, especially as I'm picking up more hours. It's lead to me drinking more at work, wanting less social time with my friends when I am off because I need that time to recoup, and just general anxiety and stress.

    There are articles, webinars, blogs and even a couple books out now about the power of introverts and how we can be successful in business. Of course, none of this is being applied to our business as strippers. It got me thinking about what qualities introverts have naturally that can be a plus for us in this environment. These are the ones i've come up with. I would like to hear others!

    1. A sense of emotional intimacy: as an introvert I'm much better with private/intimate one-on-one conversations with people than speaking to large groups or even mingling with everyone in a large group. While it's probably good to at least introduce yourself to everyone in a group, having a deeper conversation and connection with one person gives that customer a sense of intimacy which can be used to sell VIP (this is actually the main way I sell VIP...deep conversations over general sexyness and playfulness)

    2. Take advantage of the "slow" shifts: because i tend to shy away from crowds, i do get overwhelmed on the busy weekend night crowds. When i'm faced with dealing with a bunch of drunk and boisterous guys and tons of girls on top of that I start to feel stressed out and it really takes a toll on how i perform- I don't even know where to start. So i've started working the "slow" shifts: monday, tuesday, wednesday days and weekend days and have noticed an increase in $...partially because the day customers are usually higher quality but also because i'm not having to emotionally deal with large crowds. I'm able to be more strategic and focused

    3. Sexy-shy: I've been called this so many times. Apparently there's something really endearing about a stripper who's also kind of shy. No matter my front I just come off as shy and while some guys aren't looking for that, many think its really cute. Theres also the idea of shy girls secretly being the "freakiest" lol

    4. More productive shifts: I'm friendly with the other girls at work but because I prefer to have a few very close friends as opposed to being extroverted and bubbly with everyone, I waste very little time chatting in the dressing room. I keep to myself, take quick 20 min lunch breaks which I spend reading instead of getting carried away in conversations.

    5. Connecting to other introverts: I can spot these guys a mile away. They are the ones in the group kind of just taking it all in, looking a little uncomfortable or the guy in the corner watching the game or looking at his phone. Sometimes they want to be left alone and are losers with no money but often I find these guys to simply be introverted and my non aggressive approach puts them at ease and after a little warm up they are ready for a few dances!


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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    thanks..i am a huge introvert. way too shy, sensitive, thin-skinned and i feel like a pathetic stripper, or maybe that i shouldn't be stripping at all because im not an extroverted party girl.

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    Awesome advice. I'm very introverted, and although dancing for seven years has made me proficient with groups and guys who want to party, I always notice feeling seriously burnt the next day or two if that's how I make my money on a particular shift. Like dreaming of being stranded on a desert island (with wifi of course). My resolution is to be more selective in who I hustle next year to avoid this. As you said there are tons of introverted customers who I'm much more compatible with, and every second I spend hustling guys who want a party girl keeps me from finding them.

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    This is awesome!!! I worry all the time that I'll suck at stripping because I am the most introverted person on the planet. But this is wonderful. You're so smart and proactive for identifying the positives like this.

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    I've never been a good "party girl" at work. I'm the girl next door, sweet as pie kinda girl. This advice will help all of us introverts, in particular (at least for me); #1 and #3

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    This's good, thanks


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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    Veteran Member siliconedoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    Number 2 is exactly me, it's like Jekyll and Hyde. I'm great at my job on slow weeknight shifts but come the weekend I'm paralysed with fear and can barely talk to anyone (especially now I try and stay sober). It's not financially practical for me to avoid the weekends altogether so I'll try and spot some fellow introverts, thanks

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    As an introvert I have also been working the slower shifts and find to be a comparable amount of money with less work and stress. I have noticed myself getting VERY burned out after a busy weekend shift where you have to be high energy social for 6 plus hours. I have also been reading a book called to sell is human which talks about how the perfect salesperson is somewhere between introvert and extrovert and that introverts tend to be more talented at 'mirroring' which is an important part of sales. I think it's always good to play to your own personal strengths rather than forcing yourself into a behaviors that are exhausting to maintain

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    I can't thank you for this enough. I've always compared myself to my outgoing, talkative friends who dance and I felt that I'd never measure up. Especially when working in the type of clubs that demand a aggressive approach over a 'let's talk' type of hustle.

    Recently I decided that I'll work as much as I can during the day shifts with the occasional night or weekend shift when I have the emotional effort to handle it. I'm not going to force myself to be in an atmosphere I don't like all the time. I will go because I feel I need to challenge myself and not just do what is comfortable for me, which is my usual choice. I'm just not going to make it my only choice. *thumbs up*
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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    I too am introverted and was always this way. It would seem like a contrast with stripping but it depends on the situation. In my case I became another person and it helped with my shyness.

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    Im glad you all found some of this useful and affirming

    Another tip i've learned along the way is to give yourself permission to warm up. Introverts often need more warm up time. I make sure to get to work a bit early to get into that mind frame and I also give myself a practice convo....i'll pick a customer to warm up on and talk for a couple of minutes without putting pressure on myself to make a sale. I might end up selling if I'm warmed up enough but usually these convos are where i get all my awkwardness out. A lot of times they end up asking for a dance or i'll come back around and get a dance later. I just do this once, and yeah maybe I'm losing a sale but i find it helps me out in the long run.

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    So true about finding a warm up customer to begin with. The nights I manage to do this are always my better ones especially if I force myself to do it as early as possible. The longer I leave it to speak to the first person, the more anxious and pressured I feel. I love the bit about getting all the awkwardness out too haha!

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    I'm such an introvert! It sucks bc I have to be buzzed at work to break free from my shyness. I have them buy me a drink first then I'll sit & chit chat for a song or two then ask for dances bc by then I'm buzzed enough i can talk him into buying me anything LOL
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    I think introverted dancers who acknowledge their needs for breaks from the crowd do much, much better than extroverts. They are less likely to always find the next party and they know when to call it a day.

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    right on time.

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    Default Re: The Introverted Stripper

    Bumpie for this


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