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Thread: Retiring From Dancing

  1. #26
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Ok, I have to give more details. I'm nearing the end of my career as a dancer. Looking more and more like the house mom every day. lol

    I know this guy who is sweet, open minded and we click. He happens to own a yacht, which he charters out for his income. It is pretty significant income. He is needing the second person on this yacht right now. It takes 2 people to run the yacht for the guests. The yacht is in the Hamptons in the summer and South Beach and Bahamas in the winter.

    The guy was married to a dancer for 10 years, but they got divorced, so he gets me. He lives this crazy life of travel and adventure. No office stuff, just the yacht charters. He only has to work half the year and the other half is like a vacation.

    Nothing is ever written in stone, but I am thinking of making the jump. It's kind of a real relationship, kind of a sugar daddy. I would have $0 in expenses. He takes care of everything from the yacht charters. I would help out by cooking for the guests and serving them. Stuff like that.

    There is a real relationship aspect too and he's a sweet guy. Youngish (42), fun and really open minded. He's ok looking. Decent, but not making me weak in the knees or anything. He's super nice though.

    I'm thinking of doing it. I can't lose money. I can keep all of my savings i have now. If it ended badly, I would be where I am right now.

    What do you think?

  2. #27
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    ^^^ go for it !!! You can always 'jump ship' if things don't work out. And the new acquaintances you will make via the yacht charters and the ports you'll be docking in may provide for an interesting list of possible 'hands' to catch you if / when you do jump !!! I'm doing somewhat of the same thing, except the guys and the yachts come to me LOL !!!

    PS don't forget to open a bank account in the Bahamas when you tie up there ! The more of your dollars you can keep outside the US banking system, the better IMHO.

  3. #28
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by TwirlGirl View Post
    The guy was married to a dancer for 10 years, but they got divorced, so he gets me. He lives this crazy life of travel and adventure. No office stuff, just the yacht charters. He only has to work half the year and the other half is like a vacation.
    Red flag #1. Who's to know that dancer #1 won't be you in 10 years?

    Quote Originally Posted by TwirlGirl View Post
    It's kind of a real relationship, kind of a sugar daddy. I would have $0 in expenses. He takes care of everything from the yacht charters. I would help out by cooking for the guests and serving them. Stuff like that.
    Kind of sounds like a "kept woman" arrangement to me. That's no boat for me, but if you dig, float away I guess.

    Quote Originally Posted by TwirlGirl View Post
    There is a real relationship aspect too and he's a sweet guy. Youngish (42), fun and really open minded. He's ok looking. Decent, but not making me weak in the knees or anything. He's super nice though.
    This was what I was looking for in my first couple relationships. A nice guy to have fun with. I'm looking for far more now. Honesty. Integrity. Dedication and Ambition. Drive. A man with a plan. A "nice guy" does not cut it anymore, and isn't usually the full description of a potential long-term partner. Not to say he couldn't turn out to be a good match for you, but I'm thinking it might be best to explore this in the short term during his yacht season, and make sure you reality check yourself with a return to your own life at some point, even if for a bit, just to double check any long term commitments.

    Quote Originally Posted by TwirlGirl View Post
    If it ended badly, I would be where I am right now.
    Yeah, - the # of years you waste with the guy if it doesn't work out.

    Just out of curiousity: do you have education or skills in anything that you would be able to use as a "backup for your backup" so to speak if this guy somehow really manages to screw you over somehow? I would feel a lot more comfortable going on this kind of adventure in that case.
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

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  5. #29
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Hi Odette.

    Trying to understand some things about your post. Not trying to argue, but I don't know where some of the negative side is coming from.

    From what I know, his ex wife was diagnosed/medicated ptsd, bipolar and borderline and the meds stopped working. He didn't leave her.

    Hm... I saw that his boat rents for $20,000 a week in his ads. He used to work at NASA and has degrees in physics and computer science. What more drive and ambition can I expect? If he was a CEO, I would never see him. To me, it seems like he has a good work/life balance. He also designed and built his newest yacht. I don't get why you say he has no drive or ambition.

    And finally, don't you waste years with anyone it doesn't work out with? Why is it any different here? The last guy was definitely a waste of my years! lolol
    Last edited by TwirlGirl; 01-04-2014 at 01:53 PM.

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  7. #30
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    I never trust a man unless he's 80, filthy rich, on his deathbed and I'm sole beneficiary. And even then I'm leery.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    ^^^^ Odette has actually raised sm pretty good points, I think. Her main point seems to be, just don't let yourself be so dazzled by this guy that you end up missing any flags that he might not really be the great guy he currently shows himself to be.

    This still seems early enough in the relationship that it wouldn't hurt to step back once in a while, take a good look at things & make sure it is still working for you.

  10. #32
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    I guess what I'm wondering is what's to trust?

    What do I possibly have to lose? I can just leave if i don't like it, right?

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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Are there any girls here who are thinking about retiring from dancing?

    Yeah I want to. Money is getting harder and harder, customers are getting grabbier, and from what I've seen online and ITC (with VERY few exceptions) the next generation of strippers is going to run this industry into the shitter. I don't want to be around for it.
    What do you picture your life like after you are done?
    Hopefully working with crocodiles.
    Is there a guy involved?
    If I don't kill him and feed him to the crocodiles first.
    Do you see yourself living that badass, outside of society's rules life after?
    Who knows? When you're young it's fun...now that I'm older I just don't give a fuck.
    I completely agree... I am young yet and is still working at a club but the day I will think of retiring this is what I will follow.

  12. #34
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    After a couple years of this bullshit, I decided that spending tens of thousands of dollars in pursuit of a piece of paper was insane. I'm in my 40's, what kind of job opportunities am I going to find as a new college graduate, ferchristsake? When a friend graduated with a bachelor's degree recently and landed herself a job as a teacher's assistant in a public high school for a whopping $9/ hr, that was pretty depressing. When another friend graduated with a master's degree and got a job offer as a bilingual school psychologist for $24k a year I felt like blowing the damn school up. It was like watching an obese person go on a years long starvation diet to only lose a couple of pounds. It was insanity.

    I got a day job, eventually. Sitting in front of a computer monitor, forwarding emails, screening resumes, answering phones and getting pretty much nothing accomplished for 50 hours a week in a windowless office. It was sucking the life out of me. At least I was making more than my friends with the sheepskin. I was pulling down a the sizable sum of $30k a year before overtime.

    The desk job lasted 6 months. I had zero autonomy at work. I was micromanaged by a person whose only power in the world was her position over me. If I had a suggestion as to how I could do my job better, I was shot down instantly. I was not permitted any input, I just had to do what I was told. None of the work was particularly abusive, and my workload was not impossible to manage, but the fact that I was only as valuable as a machine that followed orders exactly as given without any possibility for advancement or even creative input was enough to push me out of that environment.
    Luckily I discovered this inconvenient truth very early on. Before I ever started dancing, I had already obtained a college degree and professional license, and was working as a Respiratory Therapist. However, even back then, it quickly became apparent that an earnings potential in the 'bottom 50%' bracket, combined with working conditions requiring that I work nights, weekends, holidays etc., plus expose myself to health risks from AIDS tainted blood and various diseases which widespread in every hospital, wasn't ever going to lead to a major improvement in my standard of living. Catching TB from one of my patients, and being forcibly 'barred' from working during the treatment, gave me time to think. And a new strip club opening up 'down the street' gave me opportunity.


    Eventually, I decided that I wanted to see if I could still dance.

    Money wasn't the point. I just wanted to see if I could still do it, now that I'm in my 40's.

    So I made a plan. I started working out pretty hard, got my hair done, bought a tanning package, and went shopping for stripper clothes.

    So now I'm back to dancing. When people talk about how the business has changed in the last few years, I get a little confused. We get to charge more for dances, and VIPs seem to be an easier sell than when I left in 2007

    Actually, I think that this is the result of America's changing demographics. Generally speaking, compared to 10 years ago, younger guys have less money to spend. Older 'top 10% earner' guys have MORE money to spend. And older 'top 10% earner' guys are postponing retirement. This leads to a combination where there are now a big spending group of 'top 10% earner' club customers who may have a 30-40 year age gap between themselves and the 'newest' crop of dancers. Some number of those older 'top 10% earner' club customers are actually far more comfortable with dancers who only have a 10-20 year age gap. Thus, arguably, a growing niche market now exists for dancers in the 30-50 age bracket ... PROVIDING that these 'older' dancers are still able to offer 'top quality' appearance, performance, etc.


    I never trust a man unless he's 80, filthy rich, on his deathbed and I'm sole beneficiary. And even then I'm leery
    Unfortunately, Anna Nicole already proved it's not worth the effort ... and even if you think you've already the beneficiary you probably won't be able to actually keep much of what you thought you inherited !!!

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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    I never trust a man unless he's 80, filthy rich, on his deathbed and I'm sole beneficiary. And even then I'm leery.
    Haha! Good one! And a great point! Although I would be very concerned about the rest of his family, ex wives, kids etc, cause they've been waiting too, and have their eyes on the inheritance as well. They will be ready to go to war, guaranteed! I tend to trust the guys I knew for very long times, only. My explanation for that is that guys tend to be often nostalgic and look fondly at "good old times" without feeling the need for bs.

    Also, for the other post, nothing wrong with being a "kept woman" or being in some kind of an arrangement, as long as the rules are clearly stated, understood, and followed by both sides. If anything, it could be a great way to network in the guys social circles, and maybe even find a good job lead!

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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    I'm officially retired from dancing. My sad decent into my forced retirement is kinda documented throughout the threads on SW. I just gained too much weight for it. I'm 4'9" and started as a size 0 with 34C boobs. 2 kids and 5 years later I'm a size 9 with 34G boobs. My work schedule became more sporadic, and I worked less and less because of household obligations. I realized (from reading SW) that I was the token dancer that gets to stay on the roster no matter what because I had been in the club so long. The owners and I got along very well (we still talk) because I treated dancing like a job. I may not have been the top earner, but I had consistent earning. It made me kinda sad, because I rocked the confidence and I know I'm hot as hell. I was forced to realize that my body type is better for camming. Now I'm hot as hell for a different clientele. I could work out and get back into dancing shape, but I am horribly lazy and prefer a ban button.

    I'm as far from being a badass as one can be. I live a pretty boring life compared to my beginnings. I'm actually kind of spoiled, stay at home mom to two kids, a mortgage... I do live with my children's father (been with him since before I danced), and he is the main breadwinner. We have our own separate bank accounts and 1 joint account that he puts money for the bills in (I write all the checks). We don't like a lot of material stuff. Yes, we have a big TV, order monthly PPVs, got our daughter a Minnie Mouse Jeep for X-Mas. But we have a rule to not spend more than we make and the big purchases are only made if we have cash in hand to cover it. My income goes toward savings and our summer traveling. I know I could outearn him and take care of everything if I really worked a lot though. He knows it too. I just hate depending on another person for money. I don't want a situation where my kids go hungry because their father gets hurt, laid off, or were to pass. THAT is what keeps me working and saving even though I "rely on a man to pay my way".

    My situation isn't typical though. Purely luck. I wouldn't tell anyone to solely rely on a man. To give you money OR make you happy. If one gives you money, put at least half into savings. If one makes you happy, enjoy it, but don't fall apart if the relationship falls apart. A significant other can be nice, but always be prepared for a day you might be on your own!

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  17. #37
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    I'm not trying to be negative, you're asking for advice on the situation, and I'm playing devil's advocate a little bit because while there are a lot of shiny positives to this situation there are also some down sides. I never said your guy has no ambition, you described him as "an easygoing guy to have fun with". I was going off of that. While I recognize that we are two different people with two different sets of needs, if this was me, in this position, I would seriously question and test my compatibility with someone before up and moving my life for them, even if they say they are going to "take care of me". Plenty of assholes have told me they were going to "take care of me". Guess who always ends up taking care of me? Me. So I've learned to be pretty skeptical of anyone who tries this. Call it a personal bias, call it a neuroses, call it being really independent, I've learned to not do this anymore the hard way, and I'm trying to prevent you from having to learn the same lesson, in the same shitty way.

    Don't get me wrong, it could turn out great. Really great. You guys could get married and have lots of babies or dogs, or whatever it is that you want in life. Or, you could waste 1 or 2 of the not very many years that you have left to dance and make a solid nest egg with this guy, it doesn't work out, and then you still need an exit plan and you're x years older. It's your choice. To boil it down, I think you should be worried about that, your future, and not some guy. But hey, I'm just some kid on the internet, you don't have to listen to a word I say! It's not that time with guys is always wasted when they don't work out, but you don't seem to be in the position of having a whole lot of time to lose, work wise. If you wrote the post from the prospective of being 25 and needing some time to be wild and free, that is one thing, but you wrote concerned about your future after dancing, so I think you should focus on that. This is not the 50s. A man is not the key to your future these days, YOU are.
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by TwirlGirl View Post
    I guess what I'm wondering is what's to trust?

    What do I possibly have to lose? I can just leave if i don't like it, right?
    It's not that easy. If it were abused women would never go back to their abusers. I'm not saying that your friend is abusive or anything like it, but sometimes we find ourselves in situations that make us miserable and tolerate the misery. If a person can tolerate physical and mental abuse in order to maintain some level of financial stability or avoid the risk of failure, it is even harder if the misery is at a lower level of priority.

    Just make sure you maintain your own revenue stream. Keep a separate bank account with enough money in it to get you on your feet if things don't work out.

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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Btw Odette is 100% on the mark. Twirly, it is a bad idea to depend on anyone but yourself. I know many women who thought like you where they believed it was forever or for a long time and it did end and they found themselves without job security, or money and had to start again.

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    Smiley Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Awesome advice!!! This is probably the best advice I have ever seen. Thank you so much!

    What if the deal was worked out so I also was paid for the work I was doing on the boat? That money going into my own account? And with $0 living expenses?

    The pay would be minimal, but would just keep building up in my account.

    Does that make it a more attractive offer?

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  23. #41
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    ^^^ it sure does ( pocket money 'crew' pay ). And the real importance is that charter customers, as well as people at your various ports of call, perceive you as being 'crew' as opposed to the 'captain's' girlfriend.

    Ultimately, I look at this opportunity of yours as two different things that will happen at the same time. The first is whatever personal relationship does or doesn't happen between you and the 'captain'. The second, and much more important in my 'book', is the opportunity to rub elbows with rich male yacht charter customers, with rich male inhabitants of the various ports you regularly tie up at, and to a lesser degree access to an 'offshore' bank account at one of those various ports. Thus even if the personal relationship side turns to s#!t, you'll still have developed other potentially useful contacts to aid your future if / when you 'jump ship'.

  24. #42
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    I wish I could "rub elbows & flirt with crew men on a boat" right now just to get on my own feet again. Where does one have to go for this lol?!
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    ^^^ actually you don't want to waste your time flirting with crew MEMBERS. Generally speaking, they're way too 'full of themselves', way to used to having an 'easy time of it' with young female tourists, and ... of course ... they wouldn't be crewing if they had any money !!!

    The guys you want to be flirting with are the ones that ponied up the $5,000+ per day to charter the boat on top of being able to afford to fly down to the 'tropical vacation' area. etc !!! Or, you want to be flirting with the guys who own the charter yachts !!! Or, better yet, you want to be flirting with the guys who own the 'tropical resort area' marinas those yachts dock at, guys that have an ownership stake in the local casino, an ownership stake in a local ex-pat property development, an ownership stake in the local airport / air charter service, local hotels, restaurants and bars, etc.

    For example, this is one of my favorite 'low profile' local marina bars down here 'way south of the border' ... I can just sit there sipping Margaritas with any number of interesting 'prospects' being likely to come and go !




    I'll also add that girls seeking the 'serious money' guys generally avoid such local hangouts in favor of the 'upscale' hotels and marinas ... where the 100ft yacht slips are located right off the hotel beachfront. However, I don't like to hang out in these 'upscale' places too much since the uber-rich guys are wary of gold-diggers, and tend to automatically assume that any beautiful non gold-digging girls they encounter there are 'professionals'.

    Personally speaking, the 'mere millionaires' I run into at the 'lower profile' spots are a lot more fun to be around !!! They also don't automatically expect that I'm in the 'business' of satisfying their carnal fantasies. Admittedly, on occasion I DO !!! ... but if that happens it was MY choice and I don't 'charge' them for it ! However, 'gifts' are always appreciated LOL !
    Last edited by Melonie; 01-12-2014 at 08:30 AM.

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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    ^^^ Melonie! To add, it is very true about the CHARTERED boats. I have known some guys with own boats, and those who charter, and the latter tended to be much more wealthy. They explained it by saying how expensive it is to keep a boat with the docking fees, insurance, fuel, etc. A charter, which is usually achieved through a membership, gives an opportunity for being in a brand new boat every time. Some memberships even provide fuel. My friends who owned the boats did not use them year round and were looking to sell, especially those who lived in the northern areas. Truly wealthy guys are always looking for "a good deal". It was not cost effective to own a boat full time. With a charter it is not an issue.

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  28. #45
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    ^ Melonie, so I take it I need to get my passport asap then if I'm wanting to try it then right?? haha :p Are you in the bahamas or just the other surrounding islands?
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Interesting thread. I haven't posted in a long ass time and wanted to join in.

    I've been dancing on and off but also thinking of retiring permanently from dancing (or at least not rely on it primarily for money). I want to quit because I'm seeing the cost of dancing is starting to outweigh the benefits.... no social life, no quality men, odd hours, hard to identify with society, what do you do question, etc.

    My work background is a mess and finding a job will be difficult but not impossible. It took a lot to admit this to myself but I am not a career woman (I am a badass cook and sewer though), so I am not going to stress myself out about money. I will do what I can to keep a roof over my head and food on the table, but that's it. If I need more I may strip.

    As far as men go ---
    I believe strippers are unique in that we are essentially 'go-getters' and have a very independent attitude. I'm not knocking anyone here but it's an attitude that's not the most attractive if you want to attract a man. I realize a lot of you say you don't need a man to support you and that's great. I also think it would be foolish to depend soley on a man for money, or in the same manner looking for a man only if he is mega rich.

    I do want to find a quality man and I know I wouldn't be able to if I continued dancing. Not only because of the hours or having to explain my job, but working the job full-time was changing me (and my thoughts about men)...I like JD's old post about 'Preserving Your Well-being'. I believe in finding a quality man and marrying smart...if that's what you want to do. There's nothing wrong with that OP. In my opinion, finding a great man is not fruitless endeavor... it's all about what you want. Do you want to make money for yourself and do you have that type of career ambition that will rest on your shoulders? OR would you rather rely on your domestic ambitions and aid a man whom you admire/love that supports you?

    There's potential for bad things to happen for whatever path you take, but my advice is to follow your strength/s.


    I also suggest (keep an open mind at first) reading The Rules Revisted. Unlike the book "The Rules" (which I hated) the author is a man but he offers practical, no-BS insight into what a man really thinks. Here's a post about not letting men waste your most valuable years. Not sure if this is helpful or not to your situation but he has other articles in his blog that are interesting reads.

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/201...-eligible.html
    Last edited by Artema; 01-12-2014 at 05:21 PM. Reason: edited link

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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    Are you in the bahamas or just the other surrounding islands?
    let's just say that I'm 'slightly' south of Mexico, in a country with lots of Atlantic beachfront property - and which doesn't have any banking / information sharing treaties with the USA !!!

    While I love the Bahamas, their increasing popularity as a combination tropical vacation spot plus a bank secrecy tax haven has now made it increasingly expensive to live there, and increasingly difficult to obtain Citizenship. My adopted country has 'dirt cheap' real estate and living costs by comparison, and has a straightforward path to Citizenship in 5 years that doesn't require $1 million worth of local investment.


    Truly wealthy guys are always looking for "a good deal". It was not cost effective to own a boat full time. With a charter it is not an issue.
    Indeed that's a major part of it. The 'mere millionaire' guys are always on the lookout for a good deal, since they still live in the 'real world' ... and still remember how to interact with 'real people'. Of course, the uber-rich guys who frequent the 'upscale' beachfront hotels with their $10 million dollar custom built 60+ foot yachts don't CARE about the costs of maintaining their status symbols ... but then again they don't care about much of anything else outside of their uber-rich circle either ( like the girls they might meet while on vacation ).

    And IMHO the REAL attraction of the 'mere millionaire' yacht charter guys is that they have a 'real life' that they will go back to after their 2 week vacation is over. In contrast, yacht owners and local business owners can hang around indefinitely. In terms of future relationship expectations, after going through one marriage and divorce, the one word best describing my outlook on relationships is ... NEXT !!! Even so, over the years I have apparently made enough of an impression that a handful of beachfront acquaintances still stay in touch ... still send me occasional presents ... and occasionally return for another week-long yacht charter, with an invitation for me to join them.


    Last edited by Melonie; 01-13-2014 at 02:44 PM.

  31. #48
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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    ^ sounds beautiful Maybe one of these days I'll make it down & find me a successful charter man :p
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    A confession that will surely mean saying goodbye to you girls that i thank very deeply for the insight and advice given.

    See, I *am* the charter boat owner. I am the exact person described with the ex of 10 years who was a dancer.

    Over those 10 years, I/her and I found that we/I enjoyed living on the outer fringes of society. Enjoyed the yachts (55 ft, 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom world cruising catamaran sailboat). Enjoyed never, ever working in offices again, enjoyed a far superior income to nearly any office job, sunshine and living in places like in Melonie's pics above.

    I have found "regular, office type women" to lack the adventurous spirit and freedom to go do fun, crazy thing, to travel (for months at a time to different countries, without working). They also tend to be sooooo closed minded and just downright boring to me.

    So my thinking was.... maybe i do need to focus on what type of person I am meeting, the same way Melonie describes a focus on who to meet on the female end. Maybe I actually have to take out a personal in Xxtreme Magazine... lolol j/k. But yet, to focus on a different type of woman who is at a point in her life where this type of thing makes sense. It makes no sense to someone climbing the corporate ladder or going to school for some new office career. Dancers are often living outside of the Matrix and "get it."

    I wanted to bounce this idea off a group of you, no money involved, to hear some honest impressions. I am very thankful for your advice.

    Now, due to this post, I'm sure I'll have to say goodbye, but your advice has helped me confirm that I should focus on a certain type and that some will be receptive to my offer.

    Again, thank you. You have no idea how enlightening and helpful this thread has been to a guy who lost his dancer wife of 10 years to an extreme mental health issue (she was on meds for many years, heard voices, saw things that weren't there, etc... but was a great person under it all). She eventually snapped though. So I am rebuilding the love life... and trying to make choices that will result in long term happiness. This thread confirms that it may yet be possible to find a free, strong, outside the box thinker again in life.

    Thank you and may you all have good money days to come.

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    Default Re: Retiring From Dancing

    ^^^ It's reassuring to see that the earlier comments about charter boat owners ... as opposed to the 'mere millionaire' guys who actually book boat charters ... wasn't too far off the mark !!! Obviously, you're either seeking a floating 'sugar daddy' arrangement ... where your 'sugar baby' may be a de-facto captive on your yacht for days or weeks at a time, or you're seeking a genuine exclusive personal relationship with an adventurous girl ... where she would 'automatically' want to remain on board with you. Arguably, both are beyond the 'scope' of Stripperweb.

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