Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 28

Thread: "Mean girls" at the club

  1. #1
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default "Mean girls" at the club

    I guess this is just a vent post because I already know to just ignore them and focus on making money.. but this new club I started at is really getting to me! It's not a small club but the girls are really clique-y and all seem to be friends with each other. When I first started everyone was super nice and said the whole "if anyone gives you shit let me know" but now theres a few girls who really don't like me and I feel like are trying to intimidate me. One girl was blonde when I started a couple weeks ago and the last shift she came in with purple hair and said right next to me "there's so many blondes here now" clearly loud enough for me to hear as if that was supposed to bother me? And I'll add most of the girls who work there have dark hair and that shift only me and one other girl were blondes. OKAY this sounds extremely childish as I'm typing it out but I'm just not used to dealing with annoyingness from the other girls! I've worked at a lot of clubs and only had drama with other girls twice and it was resolved quickly.. but this time it's multiple girls and I really don't know what I did wrong. I don't talk to them unless they talk to me first and if they say anything rude to me I just ignore it. I feel like they're trying to pick a fight with me and get me to stop working there or something.

    And another thing one of the DJ's pulled me to the side and said he feels like I talk "at him" and not "to him". I genuinely have no clue what he is talking about I really am nice to everyone.. I told him sorry maybe I'm just used to other clubs where all the DJ wants to know is your name and the type of music you like and I really didn't mean to offend him. Then he said okay he just wanted to make sure "we were cool".. I've never had a DJ confront me about something like that.

    I don't know I'm just frustrated because I was really happy with this club and it's bad enough when you have to deal with shit from the customers but when you add the DJ and the other dancers to the mix it can really bother you! well it's bothering me anyway. And this is my first time working at an alcohol club and when I do champagne rooms I have been getting drunk and that scares me a little being around a bunch of people I don't trust at all. I need to stop drinking at this club.

    Anyway thanks anyone who read this it was all over the place ha.

  2. #2
    Senior Member audrey.mtl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    100
    Thanks
    43
    Thanked 147 Times in 45 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Oh man, I deal with so many of them. I don't know what it is about contact girls, but they are waaaay bitchier/scrappy-er/beat-you-with-a-shoe-ier than non-contact dancers. Are you in a contact or non-contact club?
    I know you were just venting so I won't bother trying to solve the issue

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to audrey.mtl For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Sounds like you're doing the right thing

    When you are new to a place is easy to get swept up as the 'outsider' and people reject with they don't understand/don't know/etc.

    Keep alcohol to a minimum because people tend to take advantage if they know you're buzzed or drunk. There are tricks to make customers think you're drinking with them without having to really drink too much alcohol.

    Do you have any allies? Stick with them. Or just focus on yourself and your hustle and they'll eventually chill out when they see you making money while they're being immature.

    And if all else fails, you can either let these b*tches know (1 by 1) to step the f*ck off or see if the managers can handle those lightweights

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Bi coastal Gypsy
    Posts
    4,812
    Thanks
    7,738
    Thanked 5,910 Times in 2,491 Posts
    My Mood
    Pensive

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    oh geeez yes I used to work with those types of annoying girls when I lived in socal *rolls eyes* Please just do yourself a favor & IGNORE THEM! Of course they are trying to start shit with you, they have nothing else going on with themselves so naturally they're gonna want to scrap with the new girl. Your prob better looking than them & they can't stand it. As far as the DJ goes, just ignore him also, give him your music (if that's how it works there) , tip him X amount ,and walk away. I am really anti social with the staff at work bc I'm usually too busy making $$$ to bother with their petty crap. Girls try me everywhere I have worked but they stop once they realize I could care less about their childish games. I worked at a small club in socal that was like that though & omg it was obnoxious to say the least, I stayed out of the dressing room mostly & just kept to myself. The girls there were cliquey as hell so I never trusted anybody. Make your money & get out
    "Alot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"~ Madonna




    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


  7. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to xxxGothBarbie For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey.mtl View Post
    Oh man, I deal with so many of them. I don't know what it is about contact girls, but they are waaaay bitchier/scrappy-er/beat-you-with-a-shoe-ier than non-contact dancers. Are you in a contact or non-contact club?
    I know you were just venting so I won't bother trying to solve the issue
    thanks for the response! Well this club is no contact and the last club I worked at and didn't have drama at was a full contact club.. so who knows!! I'm sure I'm not alone though. I know I need to have a thick skin being a dancer but what's funny is that when a customer is rude it doesn't bother me but now that I'm dealing with rudeness from other dancers it's really hard for me to brush it off!

  9. #6
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Quote Originally Posted by xxxGothBarbie View Post
    oh geeez yes I used to work with those types of annoying girls when I lived in socal *rolls eyes* Please just do yourself a favor & IGNORE THEM! Of course they are trying to start shit with you, they have nothing else going on with themselves so naturally they're gonna want to scrap with the new girl. Your prob better looking than them & they can't stand it. As far as the DJ goes, just ignore him also, give him your music (if that's how it works there) , tip him X amount ,and walk away. I am really anti social with the staff at work bc I'm usually too busy making $$$ to bother with their petty crap. Girls try me everywhere I have worked but they stop once they realize I could care less about their childish games. I worked at a small club in socal that was like that though & omg it was obnoxious to say the least, I stayed out of the dressing room mostly & just kept to myself. The girls there were cliquey as hell so I never trusted anybody. Make your money & get out
    you worked in socal too?? yeah seriously I just really need to stay the hell out of the dressing room. And I think it is just jealousy and boredom from the other girls. I feel like I'm in high school again!!

  10. #7
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    2,078
    Thanks
    4,898
    Thanked 2,463 Times in 1,135 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    I agree that's we deal with bad behaviour from customers and it's frustrating to deal with aggressive co workers also. Like every body else has said, you are doing the right thing by ignoring them. If you don't give them a reaction, they will get bored and target some one else. Avoid spending time in the DR (get ready before work if you can, so that you can just throw your outfits on and get on the floor). If it gets worse, alert management (depending on how "supportive" you think they would be, sometimes it's not worth it) or consider finding a club .
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

  11. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to OliveJardin For This Useful Post:


  12. #8
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Sounds like you're doing the right thing

    When you are new to a place is easy to get swept up as the 'outsider' and people reject with they don't understand/don't know/etc.

    Keep alcohol to a minimum because people tend to take advantage if they know you're buzzed or drunk. There are tricks to make customers think you're drinking with them without having to really drink too much alcohol.

    Do you have any allies? Stick with them. Or just focus on yourself and your hustle and they'll eventually chill out when they see you making money while they're being immature.

    And if all else fails, you can either let these b*tches know (1 by 1) to step the f*ck off or see if the managers can handle those lightweights
    Yeah there's a couple girls who are still really nice to me so I'll stick to them if I'm going to talk to anyone. And yeah I think I'll work more dayshifts because the drama girls seem to work nights and especially weekend nights (that's also when I end up drinking too much so sticking to days should help).

    LOL and I like your last tip.. I will probably not do that because I'm bad with confrontations and stirring up drama! I'll just ignore & when I go back stick with tunnel vision.

    thanks guys!

  13. #9
    Banned Aniela's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    KW
    Posts
    3,291
    Thanks
    6,920
    Thanked 5,854 Times in 2,242 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Maybe if you have been fortunate to work at clubs where other girls left you alone, that is why this new meanness factor is coming as a shock. It's understandable to have a 'wtf' moment when a factor you had previously known to be constant does a sudden shift. On the plus side, if they are trying to get in your kool-aid you must be doing smtg right! They would not be getting worked up if they didn't see you as a threat to their earnings

  14. #10
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    I was just thinking that too Aniela.

    New girls are usually targets bc veteran girls see them as threat to 'their' money.

    And no club is peaches and roses all the time. There will be some drama at some point or another. Most times it's miscommunication that can be avoided and sometimes is pure ratchetness that's just part of the job.

    Hope it gets more pleasant for you.

  15. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  16. #11
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Yeah for the most part the clubs I've worked at I've either befriended some girls or just kept to myself and was cordial with the girls. I've only dealt with drama from girls at work twice I think and it was resolved pretty quickly. But ya I guess I should just take it as a compliment haha

  17. #12
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    27,134
    Thanks
    55,898
    Thanked 26,028 Times in 13,271 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    I don't have anything helpful to add, but some great advice here, & hope it gets better for you!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to whirlerz For This Useful Post:


  19. #13
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    2,078
    Thanks
    4,898
    Thanked 2,463 Times in 1,135 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Quote Originally Posted by 22lligm View Post
    But ya I guess I should just take it as a compliment haha
    ^This, sadly . They obviously see you as competition and a threat etc. Once you have been there long enough, they will get used to you, realise that their efforts aren't going to effect you and move on. Hang in there!
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to OliveJardin For This Useful Post:


  21. #14
    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    1,445
    Thanks
    649
    Thanked 3,393 Times in 970 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Ignore the snarky comments. Once you see the back handed insults for what they are, it is really easy to ignore them. It sounds like no one is trying to start a physical confrontation with you, which does happen sometimes. When someone says something inappropriate, just laugh it off. There was another dancer at my club who loved to point out every single physical flaw on my body to me. I'd just shrug and say something like, "I'm going for the pity tips today." When someone is being intentionally mean, it takes their power away when you respond in a positive way. I don't give a shit if I have blemishes or bruises or whatever. We all have something. I just know that I look way better naked than any of my customers, and probably better than any woman they'll ever get naked outside of the club. That's good enough for me.

  22. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Tourdefranzia For This Useful Post:


  23. #15
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    thank you ladies this has been helpful! yeah i'm sure if I ignore them for long enough they'll get over it and find a newer girl to be bitches to.

  24. #16
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    I feel like there's always a bit of an awkward transition between being the new girl at the club and just being 'one of the dancers' when you're good at what you do. Like, as a new girl, you're harmless and any money you make can be attributed to luck/new girl money. But then once you've been there for a little while and are making good money, you're marked as competition and no one wants you around. In time, they'll get used to your presence -- especially when some other new girl comes along. I say feed off their negativity and let it inspire you to make even more money! It's a pretty great feeling to walk by a dancer who hassles/shittalks you, with a customer to get to the dance room/VIP/CR.

  25. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to shanna dior For This Useful Post:


  26. #17
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    I feel like there's always a bit of an awkward transition between being the new girl at the club and just being 'one of the dancers' when you're good at what you do. Like, as a new girl, you're harmless and any money you make can be attributed to luck/new girl money. But then once you've been there for a little while and are making good money, you're marked as competition and no one wants you around. In time, they'll get used to your presence -- especially when some other new girl comes along. I say feed off their negativity and let it inspire you to make even more money! It's a pretty great feeling to walk by a dancer who hassles/shittalks you, with a customer to get to the dance room/VIP/CR.
    lol! yeah that's all definitely true now that you say that

  27. #18
    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2009
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,542
    Thanks
    1,043
    Thanked 3,893 Times in 1,568 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    Maybe if you have been fortunate to work at clubs where other girls left you alone, that is why this new meanness factor is coming as a shock. It's understandable to have a 'wtf' moment when a factor you had previously known to be constant does a sudden shift. On the plus side, if they are trying to get in your kool-aid you must be doing smtg right! They would not be getting worked up if they didn't see you as a threat to their earnings
    EXACTLY. Girls are always nice to me until they see I can hustle and then I'm persona non grata... If they can hustle too and are confident, then they are usually OK-- but if they're insecure or not making money they get nasty. Take them being mean to you as a sign you are doing well!

  28. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to audrey_k For This Useful Post:


  29. #19
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    EXACTLY. Girls are always nice to me until they see I can hustle and then I'm persona non grata... If they can hustle too and are confident, then they are usually OK-- but if they're insecure or not making money they get nasty. Take them being mean to you as a sign you are doing well!
    Yeah my last shift when one girl was being really rude the whole night I glanced at her on stage while I was giving dances and she just looked mediocre.. and I always see her hanging around the dressing room (clearly not busy the whole night). SO now I understand why she needs to intimidate me lol

  30. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to 22lligm For This Useful Post:


  31. #20
    God/dess simone87's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    5,171
    Thanks
    7,361
    Thanked 9,469 Times in 3,228 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    yup, the second club i started at was like that..the girls there were cruel! i had one older dancer ( im talking like 50, and not one of the cool beautiful ones) scream at me for "taking her spot" in the DR and then proceed to windex everything that i touched..she was always bullying me and trying to embarass me in front of people. i just either laughed in her face or ignored her, and it kinda stopped after that.
    another time a girl keyed my car and started spreading rumors that i was dirty because her regular liked me more.
    i agree with everyone else about jealousy being the root of it.
    sometimes * in my experience* you gotta walk a fine line between ignoring them, or letting them know that treating you that way is not acceptable and you are not a doormat. guess it depends on the severity of the bullying

  32. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to simone87 For This Useful Post:


  33. #21
    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Omicron Persei 8
    Posts
    4,508
    Thanks
    12,529
    Thanked 13,934 Times in 3,720 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Yep, I have worked at some really cliquey clubs where they just give you the eye all the time. It's fucking irritating. It's usually because they're territorial or feel threatened by you.

    The only thing you can do is just ignore them. They eventually stop. If it makes you feel any better, it's not going to help their money to sit around and watch you so take advantage of the times when they're dicking around gossiping in the corner and go get the customers they're ignoring.

    As for the DJ, I would have laughed at him... maybe that's just because I pictured him coming up with teary puppy eyes... Grow a skin, dude.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

  34. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Selina M For This Useful Post:


  35. #22
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post

    As for the DJ, I would have laughed at him... maybe that's just because I pictured him coming up with teary puppy eyes... Grow a skin, dude.
    Seriously I don't get him!! i've NEVER met a DJ who cared about something like that.. I feel like it goes along with the cliquey-ness of the club. The rude girl was siding with him another night too. Gahh I can't take this childishness!!

  36. #23
    Senior Member Sqrlbby's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Mn
    Posts
    131
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 77 Times in 32 Posts

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    we have "that group" of like 5 girls who have been there about 4 years. they think they are the top shit. in fact one girl has been dating the floor manager since she started, has 1 regular that pays all her bills...soo... she thinks she can do whatever she wants. I just ignore it. and make friends with the owner so no matter how much this group doesnt like me I can't be fired.

  37. The Following User Says Thank You to Sqrlbby For This Useful Post:


  38. #24
    Senior Member xcatxbrownx's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    190
    Thanks
    1,426
    Thanked 370 Times in 113 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    ** double post

  39. #25
    Senior Member xcatxbrownx's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    190
    Thanks
    1,426
    Thanked 370 Times in 113 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: "Mean girls" at the club

    Okay, first - FUCK the DJ, it's not his job to even talk to you, the only interaction you need with him is when you give him a tip at the end of the night IF HE PLAYED YOU GOOD MUSIC. If he doesn't, give him a playlist with a $20 attached and make sure your music is played when you go on stage. He should take care of you and that should be that.

    And FUCK the girls, you are not there to even speak to them, you are there to speak to the CUSTOMERS, if a nice girl comes up to you, sure, be nice, but any interaction other than that is not only unnecessary, it's unwarranted. KEEP TO YOURSELF. PERIOD.

    There are girls at my club who I know for a fact they don't like me but I couldn't care less, I'm there to please myself, make my money and GTFO. I do not have time for silly, pathetic stripper drama.

  40. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to xcatxbrownx For This Useful Post:


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. "Extras Girls" aka "The Finishers"- The REAL Breakdown
    By kikiwiki in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 60
    Last Post: 11-05-2017, 01:12 PM
  2. "Hun," "Baby," "Darlin'" and other endearing terms
    By Chicagoeditor in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 10-29-2013, 04:02 PM
  3. Club "Funny Money"- Tolerable or Royal "pita"?
    By minnow in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 05-28-2013, 08:25 AM
  4. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-05-2008, 01:18 AM
  5. "Live Nude Girls Unite!" Screening in Houston
    By Aurora Borealis in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-20-2004, 02:19 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •