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Thread: It's the day after BLUE MONDAY...

  1. #1
    Member NegraHermosa's Avatar
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    Skull It's the day after BLUE MONDAY...

    And I still feel VERY BLUE.
    I was reading another thread about depression around this time of year. With family or the lack of.
    The thing is my family problems did get me down a bit but not that much. I'm in a happy and healthy relationship with a guy that I'm pretty sure is for the long haul. So what's my problem, you ask?
    MONEY MONEY MONEY!! The holidays drained me. It was fun doing all that shopping but now I'm broker than broke! I'm talking less than 20 bux until payday. But then half my check goes to rent and ill be struggling to live on 200 or so for another 16 days. The recent holiday just reminded me of past holiday seasons working where I actually want to work. How I despise my tedious and draining vanilla job. How I should just forget about completing the masters in psychology because I will just end up an overworked and underpaid social worker anyway. So what's the point in going another 3-5 years for a phd? Seriously considering becoming a career stripper. Where I no longer need to be up at the buttcrack of dawn rushing to put on makeup to scrub toilets. The money to have fun, hell even just buy a new book or pair of shoes. I have tried the "normal" life but 80 or so percent of normal people HATE their jobs and their lives. That ish is for the birds. Not me. But this gerbil or hamster or whatever wheel that people get on, I want OFF!! I miss dancing and all that comes with it so desperately. Like maybe to the point of obsession. Maybe because I cant have it right now. IDK. I haven't worked in the clubs steadily for about 2 years. I worked a summer before. And before that I hadn't danced anywhere for longer than a month in 3 years. I live in Va, need I say more? I'm gorgeous. I am a hustler. Great conversationalist. Can't converse or hustle the 0 customers that is the trend in my area. So no money equals no better car to travel. Shitty job that can eat shit and suck it quasi-slavery that I just want to walk out of everydamnday. My hours are like a leash. Tight and annoying.

    Excuse the long-winded rant ladies,please.

    But I'm just tired of this horrible cyle that seems to have no end in sight. If I quit I have no money, period. But clubs in my area offer no money, either. The only way is to travel. To travel I need money for overhead. To travel I need a vacation, to take a vacation I would need money.

    This sucks big time. I need to help my family,but I must help myself 1st. I see no end in sight minus the big end, meaning my notice. But 2 wk notice will only get me the money I earned for those 2 wks, nothing more.

    I need some kind of pep talk or guidance or even [email protected]#* I don't know. I need money and fulfillment from my slave labor. I feel soooo stuck. In between a rock and a hard place seems too slack for my predicament.

    I'm sure I have lost many readers by now, but I'm always long winded. Thanks to those who have continued to read my whole post.

    I just really feel like I'm wasting my youth and time but can't see anyway out.
    *Um, yea.. formerly known as "Kaluah20 and Kaluah21", Member since 2005*

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's the day after BLUE MONDAY...

    Damn, I know the feeling. I am also in Va & was wondering abt the SC scene here & in DC, but I am so burnt out from the last almost 2yrs solid of having nothing but dancing that the thought of going back to it even part-time makes my stomach churn.

    So I am stuck at the desk job, until I get all my aviation stuff current (which I am trying to prep for) & trying not to kill my supervisor. Til then it is this $10/hr bs w/ a computer programme that was shutting down on me constantly tonite, like avg every 5-10 min & I can't do my job w/o it. Was feeling pretty hopeless tonite.

    All we can do is take it day by day. Are there no other vanilla options available? At the very least you would have sm variety even if the $$ is still $#%£.

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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's the day after BLUE MONDAY...

    I'd say stick with it until you get the Master's Degree. The reason being even if you get out of the field entirely you still have a post grad degree. Back in the day I worked at the corp office of a major retail chain and my boss had a Masters in Forestry, but ran a buying team for the electronics division. Having that post grad degree shows you are into things for the long haul and many companies are willing to spend the time and $$$ to train those people.

    I'd also look into hooking up with Universities and/or getting into research programs. Start now and see if you can line something up for when you complete it, they may even provide incentives. Another thing to consider would be going the route of Nurse Practitioner. Your Masters would basically give you a specialization and a good reliable job market.

    If you want to break things up at the moment have you considered bar tending? Attractive ladies who can talk up the bar folks can bring in some good money. Put all your skills to work.

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    Member NegraHermosa's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's the day after BLUE MONDAY...

    WOW!! Thanks so much ladies fo your input. Both have great points.
    Aniela it was actually your post that i was reading.
    I have considered another vanilla job, but those available require even more and/or worse bs with the same or less pay. It does have its good qualities, but is by no means fulfilling to my soul at all. Put it pays my bills completely. I feel like this life is in the way, and keeping me from the life I want. Does that make any sense? Funny how you can't psycho-analyze yourself.

    Bone, I think I may know your retail chain! Yes, that was an option for me. But I calculated thesalary compared to hours they worked and was not satisfied with the result.Its pretty much the same as I make now! That goes with what I stated above in my eyes. Ill look into the colleges option, I hadn't thought about that. Or the bartending!

    I want NOTHING to do with NURSING...

    I've honestly been strongly considering the validity and value in the future of my chosen career path. I've ventured off in the past and gone into the beauty industry! Which is fulfilling in so many ways! And lucrative.

    And I can have a home office! Yes, that is what will make m feel like I have accomplished what I want in life. Big, leather chair, thick heavy wood. Stable things. Things that don't move easily.:-/ childhood...

    Seriously, I'll love helping families and my community. It makes me very happy. But its not fulfilling in say I look at the future and see myself retiring in the West Indies kind of fulfilling. I'm west indian and I have family there.

    Its draining and almost thankless in some situations. Most people I have helped act like I'm intruding in a perfectly fine situation! I feel the same way as at an animal shelter, I just to take them all home with me and make it better. Can't do that.

    I don't want to be like most community workers. You know, bitter. I want to be happy. I want to have time for dance classes. I want freedom.

    I never thought I would enjoy the so-called corporate ladder. And I don't. There is sooo much red tape with my job and other "vanilla" jobs. The politics. Its stupid. By bf is a site manager and floor specialist for a major retail chain...its stupid. Other jobs with people on ego kicks that are your superiors. Those same people blatantly lie and cheat and steal and get away with it because of corporate.

    Anyway, I'm strongly considering that with a degree in psychology and the passion for humanitarianism, the beauty industry is prfect for me. It makes me happy. Doing peoples nails and lashes and makeup and I'm concerned about skincare. I can still be kindof a therapist, lol. The work is satisfying. Its engaging.

    Also because I want to end up being the boss. And I don't want to wait 25 years or wait for someone to hand it to me and tell me I'm finally worthy.

    I've been thinking about this since my last post. Long and hard. I still am, actually. But just reading through this post I can see my passion!!

    Omg!! Thank you sooo much for your kind words ladies. I only have 2 replies to my post, which is a big deal because I'm moe of a lurker. And I hardly ever start a thread. But the quality of these 2 posts made a huge impact on my thought process!!

    I can't thank you enough! Xoxo
    *Um, yea.. formerly known as "Kaluah20 and Kaluah21", Member since 2005*

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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's the day after BLUE MONDAY...

    Glad to help, and its Lady and Gentleman

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    Member NegraHermosa's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's the day after BLUE MONDAY...

    Whoops!
    Sorry about that Bone! Thank you none the less.
    *Um, yea.. formerly known as "Kaluah20 and Kaluah21", Member since 2005*

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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's the day after BLUE MONDAY...

    No worries, hope our words helped give you a boost. And here is hoping Monday #2 of the new year is going better for you.

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