I have been putting my full attention towards getting an office job. I love to dance, LOVE IT, but I have been using my friend's car to get to and from work. Now that his boss is putting the pressure on him to work at a different location, he needs the car when I need it. I knew this was going to happen so it's not a shock. Still.. I'm kind of freaking out. One of the many reasons I love to dance is that I am allowed to have an opinion. If a customer pisses me off at the club, I can tell them to fuck off. I can be open about being kinky, an exhibitionist, a bitch. Once I get my foot in the door at a 'real' job, I'll have to shut that down. Before dancing, I worked plenty of retail jobs for many years, and hated it. And now I'm going to have to return to that? Eeek. The obvious answer is 'get a car,' but that's not an option. I have credit card debt that I'm paying off ASAP. What's the debt from? My attorneys! Because I'm going through a divorce. Yeah. I am not making any big purchases until the divorce is finished. I have a lot of trust issues so I only have a couple friends. They're all very supportive of my dancing and of me looking for work elsewhere, but they don't understand how much of a 'culture shock' this could be. I'm putting all my efforts into finding a new job, but I'm super nervous about having to put on a fake persona just to be able to have a stable job. Sounds like a spoiled complaint, but having that freedom to be me means a lot to me.



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