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Thread: regulars rant

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Thumbs down regulars rant

    i don't want to have damn regulars anymore!! i've always been the "regulars" type of girl. i have more than i can handle right now. i just want to be the kind of girl who can go up to every guy in the room and close the sale within 3-5 minutes. but it feels forced, awkward and embarrassing when i try. im an introvert and very shy so i usually get my money from 2 to 3 guys a shift and just empty their pockets. i can be very endearing, charming, and persuasive when i want to be, but i have to be somewhat comfortable and i need to warm them up first. lately i've been wondering if im actually losing out on money by doing this, because they want to talk and go back for dances, then talk some more and then dance some more. idk how to tell them that i just want them to get dances without sounding cold and money-hungry. yeah they know im at work but still, they want to talk to me in between dances. they also all get obsessed with me, and then i have to drop them

    i have this old reg who has seen me for over a year now and spends 150-200 a week, brings me dinner and gifts, etc. lately he's been getting weird. he's always known i have a boyfriend, this is a job etc. but he's started saying " i love you" ( long story), and today i made plans with another reg to see him tomorrow at 6. well that's when the old reg comes in, and when i asked if he could come in earlier he said " yes i am mad. please don't tell me that i am just a number and that you can't fit me in. im angry and i don't know why, i won't be in tomorrow". im so angry myself right now i could punch somebody. he KNOWS its been slow and i need money. i haven't been nagging him for more, but please don't try and get back at me for getting my money elsewhere. i need to eat just like anybody and make my money!! im not your goddamn girlfriend. i swear, if it wasn't so slow i would tell him to go fuck himself.
    i am sick of being a regulars girl, have any of you introverted hustlers ever been able to switch it up? its been 3 years now, and i feel i will always be juggling these fools

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    I'm the same way. I usually have a handful of regs, and some of them get weird after a while...It's uncomfortable. I think after a while, they start to feel like you owe them, because they bring in dinner, birthday cards, flowers, what-have-you. It's easier if you never give them a number or work email. When they want to talk after the first set of dances, if I'm trying to distance myself, I'll say I'm really busy/I have to go do something and can't hang out. They usually ease off after a few instances like that.
    The best way for me to avoid acquiring a regular is to not actually sit with them ever. I just go up to him, lean over his table and do the "what's your name, are you from here, have been here before, are you having fun tonight, wanna spend some alone time with me" thing. It's only really hard if I have to approach a group...I hate having to address everyone at once. It's something we introverted strippers struggle with, but if you MAKE yourself do it, it'll happen.
    Regulars are sort of a comfort zone. You know they'll come in, they'll spend money, and you don't have to wander from guy to guy with your fingers crossed. They're easy business, and when you get used to that, it's hard to get back into the normal hustle. For me, it's just a matter of forcing myself out of that comfort zone, and it sucks, but it happens. Just know that it'll feel really good knowing you went out on a limb and got something out of it! I'm always in a better mood after I've really put myself out there at work more than I normally would.
    There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt.
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    Default Re: regulars rant

    regulars shouldnt be extra work. if you're working your ass off to accomodate them then they should be paying major money each time. if tbeyre just good for a few dances and they're somewhat pleasant, then use them as an excuse to vent, relax, etc. eventually they'll realize that if they want you in sexy mode they need to spend fast (or more) or gtfo.

    for example I've always had random guys that have taken a liking to me and been kinda nice to talk to but didn't spend a whole bunch of money. I quickly put them in friend zone and after being cute for a few minutes and giving them an opportunity to ask me for a dance, I'd start complaining about unsexy things like how much my botox hurt, how my cars broken and idk why, etc. that way instead of directly pressuring them for a dance up front (because regulars don't want to be treated like everyone else and want to spend tons of quality time with you), I'd just start talking to them like a friend which is not a pleasant experience so they would usually interrupt me and ask me for a dance and send me on my way. everyone wins.

    if he's spending a lot tho...that's a different story. treat those guys well!

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    After a while some regulars start to forget that they are actually "regulars" and not your boyfriend... I have 3 regs right now and one of them is like that. The other two get it, and one will even say to me when he's done spending money "alright go make your money honey! send them my way if they need a reference!" The clingier guy is a younger guy tho and hasn't been going to strip clubs that long and I think he just doesn't get it.

    Do you really need this customer that freaked out? Cause it sounds like he has become WAY too attached and he's more stress than he's worth. If he was spending $500 a week I can understand putting in effort to appease him, but I really think you can make $200 easily without him.

    In regards to what you told him-- in the future, I would not mention that you want a customer to come in at a different time because of another customer. It totally breaks the fantasy for them and it's just not the nicest thing to say. I'm not saying you can't change times, but maybe make up some other excuse (i.e. I'm coming into work late, I'm not feeling well please come tomorrow instead, etc). I only mention other customers to my regulars when they are starting to try and get free time from me-- i.e. they're not spending and just wanting to hangout. I know you needed to schedule your time, but if you guys already had a planned meeting for that time I would come up with an excuse rather than being outright about it. That's not to say that his response was totally inappropriate-- obviously he had a fantasy about being your one and only customer and it was ruined. He's too attached.

    I think all regulars have a shelf life and there's not a whole lot you can do about it if they become super attached. I'm like you, very introverted and not the kind of girl who just goes up to people and asks them to dance in five seconds (which is why I don't do well with 2 for 1 specials when your club forces you to just ask ask ask). However, that's not to say that sometimes I don't do 20 dances with 15 different people in one night. For me hustling is about setting up a rapport with someone-- I sit with them and talk for five minutes or so, get to know them, remember their name, etc.

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    It may feel like you're losing money with your regulars, but have you actually sat down to calculate it? Think about how much $$$ you get in total, how much time you spend together from beginning to end, and consider what the crowd is like when they come see you. Do that for each regular and then figure out if you should:
    (1) drop him (if the money for time ratio is out of the whack, especially if he usually comes when the club is otherwise busy)
    (2) move him (I encourage my regulars to come see me during consistently quiet times in my shift, so then I'm never wondering if I could be making more off the crowd and I'm also willing to sit around a chat for a bit longer than usual before dances), or
    (3) try to retrain him (take charge of the relationship and say it's time for dances earlier than you have been -- or at all if you've been letting him take the lead)

    I only like regulars when they know their place. It sucks to walk away from easy money, but if they're draining your time and not reciprocating appropriately with their wallet, they're dead weight and you deserve better.

    As for turning into a dancer who can close the sale in a couple of songs, that's something you can strive for your new regulars (that will replace your dead weight ones) complying with. Just because someone has returned to see you, doesn't mean you owe them more time. They came because they liked the ratio of time/money and enjoyed spending time with you, so keep it up. If you give an inch, most of these guys will take a mile!

    Maybe it would help to try and start your shifts with a regular, to get yourself into charming mode and in a good money with some $$$ in your pocket, and then it won't be so hard to close the sale quickly with others.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: regulars rant

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    In regards to what you told him-- in the future, I would not mention that you want a customer to come in at a different time because of another customer. It totally breaks the fantasy for them and it's just not the nicest thing to say. I'm not saying you can't change times, but maybe make up some other excuse (i.e. I'm coming into work late, I'm not feeling well please come tomorrow instead, etc). I only mention other customers to my regulars when they are starting to try and get free time from me-- i.e. they're not spending and just wanting to hangout. I know you needed to schedule your time, but if you guys already had a planned meeting for that time I would come up with an excuse rather than being outright about it. That's not to say that his response was totally inappropriate-- obviously he had a fantasy about being your one and only customer and it was ruined. He's too attached.
    .
    yeah your'e right, i guess i just subconsciously wanted him to know that im not just gonna be available whenever at his beck and call to talk for hours, and that i had appointments with other guys too..kinda almost wanting him to be jealous but not getting mad, just maybe spending more money because guys want what other guys want? idk it was a mistake, but he texted my dancer phone this morning and said " i thought about it and realized that i was just jealous of the other guy and my feelings were hurt because i felt you were choosing him first. i forget that you are in a business to make money though, so i'll be in to see you today".
    well i won't bring up other regulars after this!

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    in this situation, i've watched a lot of girls actually do what you want to do and tell him to fuck off, and it works like a dream. they'll disappear for a few weeks, but come back with more money than ever. i think it's the whole idea of "the chase."

    anyway, it's a bit risky to do, but either A. he'll keep annoying you, B. he's spent as a regular, or C. he'll come back with money. and maybe even some chocolate, because that's what men buy us when we're pissed at them.

    i love chocolate.

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    At $150-200 a week, I'd say it isn't worth it to hang on to this guy. Start looking for your next regular. I had to let a regular go very recently (2 weeks ago) and debated letting another one go as well, but he stepped up his game and stared spending more while we were together. In the mean time, I was able to meet some new guys that are spending, and one seems to have some real potential as a good regular.

    If I don't have at least 3 appointments per shift, I get very busy at working my hustle. I'm always on the lookout for my next regular.

    I've found that there are a few different kinds of regulars:
    1. Short term. Generally this is a guy who is probably going though some shit. Maybe he lost a loved one or had something else equally bad happen and he is using the club to help himself feel better. Generally, this type will spend a ton over a short period of time, but will burn out in a month or two.

    2. Low budget hobbyist. This regular loves strip clubs but can only afford to go into VIP once or twice a month. He wants a lot for his money since his funds are so limited. This is the kind of guy who will seek OTC to save himself a few dollars.

    3. Connoisseur. This regular has a lot of discretionary income and likes to buy VIP rooms with multiple dancers every visit. Try to become this customer's ATF. They are low drama and high spenders. AKA- Whale.

    4. The Love Sick Regular. This man could be any age or any income level and is willing to put himself deeply into debt to spend time with his ATF. This one is the trickiest one to navigate because after a while (usually several weeks to several months) he will expect his ATF to fall in love with him, too. Or believes that his dancer is in love with him. This is the type that can turn into a stalker if he is mentally unstable. If he really did over spend at the club to the point of causing problems in his life, this regular can be a real problem. I knew a dancer who was sued by a love sick regular. He was laughed out of court. He spent tens of thousands of dollars on her; he wasn't rich. He mortgaged his house and lost his business in a effort to make this dancer "fall in love" with him. This was the kind of regular I dumped a couple of weeks ago. When he started insinuating that I owed him something (besides dances) for all the money he spent on me, was when I hit the exit.

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    I used to rely on regulars years ago, but for similar reasons I stopped taking new ones and transformed into a 3-5 minute hustler. As an introvert I actually prefer cold contact because it keeps interactions lighter and I can put less into it emotionally/mentally. The trick is to be a bit of a diva if the guy seems secure, or apologetic for being a such a responsible workaholic if they seem offended by your quick hustle.

    Countcrabula is right on though. When I kept regulars I would cut them off as soon as they stopped spending enough for it to be worthwhile no matter how bad business was or how much I liked them. After a couple weeks of giving a cordial "Great to see you, but I'm so busy tonight" and walking right by they usually got the message and started throwing money at me to win me back. One regular started spending four times what he had previously.

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    I used to be just like you. You need to start by putting any regular who tries that "I'm just a number/schedule" in his place. Tell him that this is a job and you refuse to have him as your only regular and if he does not like it then find someone else. Also make it clear that the amount of money he spends alone isn't going to cut it. If he gives you backsass then tell him " you are more than welcome to not come again, goodbye and best of in life. Peace! My regular was like that and I literally had to throw him in his place and he still comes back with a better and more respectful Attitude. Even if my regular never came back, I really couldn't care less. I have developed such a low tolerance for bullshit from customers. You need to show them who truly calls the shots.

    Second stop wasting time talking to customers between dances. Politely tell him " I will let you relax for now while I go try to make more money." See you soon
    For example; once one of my customers came by and all VIPs were packed but the chair dances weren't. My customer only does VIPs, so I handed him a ticket and told him the DJ will call his number when a booth is opened and I continued to hustle for chair dances. I refuse to sit and entertain him because I would lose out on money. I have no shame in it either. If he thinks I'm hustling him, so be it. My point is that we are all here to make money so that if we feel that we are losing out on money, its important to let the regular know that he needs to let you hustle while he takes a break.

    Trust me, I know how you feel because I have been there. I had to change a lot of my ways. One thing that works for me now is not being afraid or intimidated by any of my regulars. Stand up for yourself and don't be afraid to lose them either. They can always be replaced. Your regular doesn't spend enough on you neither. I really hope you can feel more comfortable one day hustling the crowd because it will give you more self confidence and less reasons to put up with regular needy customer nonsense.
    Last edited by kassie; 01-27-2014 at 11:16 AM.

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    I make a lot of money off of my regulars, but lately too they've ALL been trying to see me OTC. I totally understand your frustration-the fake intimacy can lead to burnout. That's why I'm taking next week off (after Super Bowl), staying home but telling my regs I'm on vacation so please don't email me.
    Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    well he said that he's getting a very size-able inheritance after the death of his parents last month, and he has a bond that he wants to cash in..so im going to keep him around another month to see if he's telling me the truth! he's starting to lean towards wanting a lot more than im comfortable with in exchange for money. and its a ton of money that he's offering me, if i were an escort i would have hit the jackpot. i'm hoping to dissuade him and opt for a sugar baby thing before his expiration date. but if its a no-win situation and he won't budge then i guess ill be moving on!

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    well he said that he's getting a very size-able inheritance after the death of his parents last month, and he has a bond that he wants to cash in..so im going to keep him around another month to see if he's telling me the truth!
    Don't let him take advantage of you by "dangling the carrot" in front of you! (I have a hard time not falling for this kind of stuff myself)
    It seems like common sense to not spend extra effort or time with him until he starts sharing this large sum of money with you, but in the moment, as a stripper, sometimes it is hard for my eyes to not get wide and go along with his BS.
    Just my little anecdote! Not saying he isn't telling the truth and he may actually be about to receive this money, so you shouldn't tell him to get lost just yet. Just don't spend too much time with him in anticipation of it!

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    I'm also super introverted and shy with customers. When I get anxiety about approaching them I start thinking of myself as an actress playing a role. I think of Drew Barrymore or Beyonce or Tyra Banks or Mila Kunis, they're so super famous- who wouldn't want to talk to them? And I force myself to get out of the dressing room and out on the floor talking to people. If it's a fantasy for the guys why can't it be a fantasy for me? I just pretend I'm an actress or celebrity playing a role of super hot stripper. When I do this I stop worrying about money and rejection. Then somehow the money starts rolling in! I'm basically faking it til I make it- but it works for me!

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: regulars rant

    ^ thanks, that's a pretty good idea! i just need to take my mind off myself and my self consciousness and stop thinking about rejection.
    yeah i'm not going to give him any extra attention because i'm really not sure if he's telling the truth or not. show me the money! then i will start taking notice of you more lol. sounds bitchy but he needs to understand that i am at work, and i go there to make money

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    I can't stand the few regulars I have. They are emotionally draining. An out of town regular of mine (he will drive the 5hrs to see me once a month at work for almost a year now), he was the worst last night. My hustle is the very sweet girl non hustle. It logically shouldn't work, but for me it does. Anywho, this asshole not only makes it a point to give me shit because I won't date him, he also lectured me for over an hr on how I could "make more money from other customers if I put out like other strippers". On top of that, he dangled out normal VIP room like a carrot in front of a horse, like him knowing I needed the money and him making me wait all fucking night for it was a power trip for him. Hes never acted like this, but he truly could not have been more offensive or irritating than he was last night. Just because I don't tell custys what I make doesn't mean I'm not making money. If I truly were bad at my job I wouldn't be leaving with your money everytime you drive into town specifically to see me. And really dude - don't be a big baby because a stripper has no interest in dating you. New flash - none of us want you and your nearly 60yr old ass. But he then gets pissed when the dance specials are called (he won't do specials) and I find a guy that will. I was so irritated that once the room was finally (btw; I never have to ask for a big tip, tonight it was pulling teeth to get anything) done I ignored him the rest of the night. He kept following me around like a sad little boy wondering what he did wrong. Oh, he also kept saying he could do just about anything in this club because he's "a VIP kind of a guy". Mind you, it's my fault I put up with the behavior last night and I know that. But what an asshole. X(

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    ^^^ this has been an increasing occupational hazard for several years now ... mostly due to the persistently bad economy, which has provided 'regulars' with more financial 'leverage' over dancers.

    Personally I never tolerated 'regulars' because inevitably the amount of additional earnings they provide in the early stages is NOT worth the bulls#!t which inevitably develops later on. I would be even more concerned about this if I were still dancing today, given that technology has now provided 'stealth' cameras and facial recognition technology making it possible for a determined 'regular' to potentially show up on my doorstep or otherwise mess with my 'private' life.

    Agreed with Tourdefranzia that 'Conoisseur' category customers are the only guys worth putting up with, because the potential very high earnings compensates for the bulls#!t.

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    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: regulars rant

    This is one of the reasons I love Las Vegas. I kind of hate regulars. They always seem to think they should get special privileges and they aren't going to get them from me, especially when there are thousands of tourists I can approach who don't think I owe them something.

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    Default Re: regulars rant

    Maybe it would help to try and start your shifts with a regular, to get yourself into charming mode and in a good money with some $$$ in your pocket, and then it won't be so hard to close the sale quickly with others.
    This is what I do. Seeing my regular first thing in my shift is great for me, because I get to have a couple drinks, make $$ right away, and spend time with someone who thinks I'm basically the greatest thing ever. That gives me more confidence to approach other customers for the rest of my shift. It makes me look desirable because they see me going back for dance after dance while other girls are not (the beginning of my shift is usually a slow time), and after getting so much praise and $$ thrown at me, I feel like, "Damn! I am awesome! Who wouldn't want a dance with me??"

    That said, I currently have three regulars. One is great, but I only see him once or twice a month. The other two are in love with me and basically want to get married tomorrow, so yeah.....it is emotionally draining sometimes. Given the choice, I would rather make the same $$ off random guys, for sure.

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