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Thread: Addiction.

  1. #1
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    Default Addiction.

    Hey
    I'm a cam girl who's been a member on SW for over a year. I created this new username specifically to post this because I wanted privacy and to keep this anonymous.

    I've been addicted to opiates for over two years now. It started with a boyfriend who was selling OxyContin, I started using and two years later here I am. I've went 4 days without using in the summer and it was hell. I am finally ready to give it up, it's done nothing but caused me issues - I now have a criminal record for being involved in trafficking, I'm constantly broke and I can't even enjoy life because of it.
    My plan of action is to just cam as much as I can to take my mind off of it, hot baths, sleeping pills if I can't sleep, and enjoy lots of good meals. I just wanted to come here to see if anyone has been through a similar situation and overcome an opiate or any drug addiction. Opiates are the devil! Wish me luck and thanks for reading!

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Jade62013's Avatar
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    Default Re: Addiction.

    I have been through the exact same thing. Opiate addiction is a truly special kind of hell.

    Honestly, I never would have been able to get better if it wasn't for maintenance. It can be a costly option but sometimes you can use insurance for the doctor and the script. My advice: get on methadone or suboxone, at least for a little while. It will be 100x easier and you will be much more likely to get clean eventually. Maintenance saved my life and has saved many addicts' lives. Even if you stay on maintenance for a long time, no shame in that-it will bring stability to your life and you won't have to do illegal things to score anymore. You will simply be taking medication to manage a physical, medical condition-opiate dependency. I am a FIRM proponent of maintenance treatment. You can always taper off your maintenance drugs with the help of the medically trained doctors and staff (addition specialists) at the clinic. There's a lot of misinformation and prejudice out there, but the truth is that 1 in maybe 100 opiate addicts can just walk away cold turkey. There is the withdrawal, and then PAWS which can stop you from being productive, working, and happy for MONTHS. Whenever I tried to stop cold turkey, my life would be so miserable and I would be so incapacitated for so long that I had to go back to using. There is a reason that maintenance treatment exists for only one kind of addiction-opiates-and that is because in many cases it is NECESSARY.

    Meetings work for some people, but some NA chapters discriminate against maintenance treatment. 12 stepping it never worked for me. There were always way too many creeps at those meetings trying to prey on vulnerable female addicts for some easy pussy in my opinion.

    The main thing is not to just focus on not using, but on rebuilding the rest of your life-that means working, having non-using friends, finding hobbies to fill up your time, etc. Because if you don't stay busy with other stuff, you WILL go back to using. Hell, even though being a pothead isn't great, if you switched to smoking everyday it would be much healthier for you. Also, pot has helped me with my anxiety, depression, and boredom when I don't have opiates. Which has kept me from using, so it was the much lesser of two "evils" if you can even call pot evil

    If you really want to quit, you can. Anything is possible. At the very least, take a long break. I guess I'm not very optimistic because I've known people who were clean for upwards of 5 years, who still relapsed and went spiraling downwards after all that. To say you'll quit "forever" is a long time, but it IS possible. Most people I have known who fall into this lifestyle have a cycle-clean, using recreationally, then totally fucked and addicted and life ruined. They get clean, then the cycle repeats. But if you do it well, you can extend the clean and chipping parts longer and longer and hold off the "totally fucked" part for years, until one day you will either just 1) get tired of opiates and lose interest, or 2) you don't and you have to battle these demons for life.

    But good luck!

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Addiction.

    i kicked my opiate addiction 2 and a half years ago, hardest thing i've ever had to do. i went to the methadone clinic but after 8 months there i switched to suboxone..currently trying to taper down and be completely free. methadone will keep you in that fog, and its SOO much harder to get off of than even herion. withdrawals are horrific, and they can last months. i would suggest suboxone. it blocks opiates so if FORCES you to stop.
    kicking the mental addiction was the hardest, although opiate withdrawals are nothing to cough at. it was the closest thing to hell on earth i've ever experienced physically. constant discomfort and agony that i could not get rid of no matter what i did until i got the script of suboxone.
    every day i miss it. every day i have to put it out of my mind and carry on, but its worth it. i was a wreck when i was using, always scared of getting caught, always broke, always searching for my next high.
    i really commend you for getting clean. it takes a lot of courage and a LOT of dedication.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Addiction.

    12 step programs, NarAnon. Addiction is a disease of the mind, body and spirit- all three need treating. Good luck.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: Addiction.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade62013 View Post
    I have been through the exact same thing. Opiate addiction is a truly special kind of hell.

    Honestly, I never would have been able to get better if it wasn't for maintenance. It can be a costly option but sometimes you can use insurance for the doctor and the script. My advice: get on methadone or suboxone, at least for a little while. It will be 100x easier and you will be much more likely to get clean eventually. Maintenance saved my life and has saved many addicts' lives. Even if you stay on maintenance for a long time, no shame in that-it will bring stability to your life and you won't have to do illegal things to score anymore. You will simply be taking medication to manage a physical, medical condition-opiate dependency. I am a FIRM proponent of maintenance treatment. You can always taper off your maintenance drugs with the help of the medically trained doctors and staff (addition specialists) at the clinic. There's a lot of misinformation and prejudice out there, but the truth is that 1 in maybe 100 opiate addicts can just walk away cold turkey. There is the withdrawal, and then PAWS which can stop you from being productive, working, and happy for MONTHS. Whenever I tried to stop cold turkey, my life would be so miserable and I would be so incapacitated for so long that I had to go back to using. There is a reason that maintenance treatment exists for only one kind of addiction-opiates-and that is because in many cases it is NECESSARY.
    Totally agree with this! I've been on suboxone for 2 years now. Suboxone is much better than methadone, IMHO because it blocks the opiate so you can't get high even if you do fuck up or want to. I know a lot of people that have tried methadone and ended up using both opiates and methadone. Plus, you will have a VERY hard time finding a legitimate doctor who will prescribe you methadone. You will have to go to a clinic every single day. Most doctors are comfortable giving you a script for suboxone so it won't interfere with your life the way going to a clinic everyday will. You can do a quick detox on suboxone (7 days or 30 days) or you can do maintenance which is what I do. I personally feel like suboxone helps curb my cravings-- very rarely do I think about using anymore, something has to really trigger it whereas when I wasn't on it I would just open a door and suddenly get a craving-- it has no negative effects on me whatsoever (no side effects and it's just a simple tab I put under my tongue once a day) and my doctor is in no hurry to take me off of it, so I'll probably be on maintenance for a while. The one thing about suboxone is that if you don't have insurance it's REALLY expensive... I pay $25 a month for a copay so it's affordable on insurance, but an 8mg pill is about $7 and people usually take between 8 and 16 mg a day. Methadone is much more affordable, in many cases it's free.

    I'm personally not a meetings person, I tried them when it I got clean a long time ago and it just didn't work for me. But I know meetings have worked for a lot of people, so you should definitely give them a try. Even if you don't like AA or NA, meetings are great because people are super friendly there (just stay away from the guys at meetings! if you think strip club customers are creepers just wait till you get hit on by 13-stepper) and they can be a good way to create a support system/make friends with people who are clean. Staying away from bf or friends who use is one the hardest parts about getting sober but it's SO important.

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    Default Re: Addiction.

    Just wanted to chime in and second the Suboxone. A close friend of mine was battling heroin addiction for a couple years and after 3 stints in rehab and all the NA meetings, the Suboxone is what finally helped him kick for good. He's still on it for maintenance, but he's close to 6 months clean from heroin.

    Make sure you eat lots of healthy food, it does help with the detox process a little bit from what I've read, and maybe cooking will help distract you as well.

    Best of luck to you, I can't even imagine what physical hell it must be... I'm sure what bystanders see is just the tip of the iceberg. We are all here if you need support
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Addiction.

    i'd like to add that you may want to start looking for a suboxone doctor now. they can be hard to find because they can only have so many patients that they prescribe suboxone to at one time. ESP if you want to use your insurance!

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