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Thread: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

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    Default the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Hi first post on here

    So without revealing too many details I have wound up dating an amazing, loving, absolutely gorgeous girl who has recently revealed to me that she has been a camgirl for the past 8 months.

    To be honest I kind of suspected something was going on, at first I thought she was stripping, then I thought she was high-class escorting, but to be honest I would have been cool with it and wouldn't have judged her. After all I have slept pretty indiscriminately with a lot of girls before, I've been to strip clubs and hired an escort or two (or a few more) haha while I was single on the road and couldn't be bothered going to a nightclub and going through the rituals...

    I met this particular girl at the gym, I caught her between sets and struck up a fun conversation...the next time I saw her we decided that we absolutely had to meet for a drink (chemistry was unbelievable) and the rest is history.

    I was seeing a few other girls casually at the time, but they all faded into the abyss after I met this girl.

    The past three months has been absolutely amazing, and I decided to make her my girlfriend. We have been so happy together.

    She is such an amazing girl. I could tell that she was INCREDIBLY nervous when she "came out" but obviously I told her I still felt the same about her and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I pride myself in being a very non-judgemental person - Everyone knows there's a double standard when it comes to sleeping around and I think it's absolutely disgusting for guys to shame women who have the courage to express their sensuality and live in the now. Blame religion I guess.

    Here's my issue...

    I think it's cool that she cams and it actually turns me on to some extent that she is pimping these guys on her site while she is thinking about me every time she cums She is such a legend haha

    I really like her and I feel like she feels the same way about me, however I am a professional athlete and if it got out that I was seriously dating a webcam model, my team would most likely freak out and tell me to dump her immediately or worst case I may get cut. I am a good player but by no means the best player on my team and sadly I am replaceable.

    She doesn't seem to understand this and even though I don't judge her at all for what she does, the general public (the fans who buy tickets, merchandise, etc) may have an extremely negative reaction if one of their players was dating a "camwhore."

    I have enough money to pay for her stuff, but she is very independent and wants to pay her own bills and expenses, which I really respect.

    She doesn't have a college degree, even though she is a really smart girl I told her she should transition into bikini modeling (she is def hot enough) but I think she is scared of the competition and thinks she can make more camming (she's prob right). I wouldn't really even mind her nude modeling as long as it wasn't explicit and was done nice and classy. She just has to stop the DP dildoing on the internet lol! you know what I mean? haha

    Especially since these creeps save the videos and then post them on tubesites and forums. She's still undercover and if she got blown up on one of the sports gossip sites I'd probably have to stop dating her to save my career and I would absolutely hate for that to happen.

    This girl really does love me and I know that if she understood the situation from my angle she would stop. But from a girl's perspective what should I say to convince her. I've tried everything and I think that she's just scared of trying something new. I think she could do great glamour modeling, even selling real estate or starting an online business. She's a great girl.

    I don't want to lay down the ultimatum but it's getting close to that point. I just can't let this mess up my career and I want to be able to take her to public events or even start a family down the road a few years without looking over my shoulder and hoping no one recognizes her. She is not too well known at this point and I think we could get away with it if she stopped now.

    I've met a lot of girls and this one is by far the best, sorry if the post was too long I really just don't want to let this girl go

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    That's cool you have found chemistry with someone new.

    On the flip side it sucks that the negative stigma of the industry is affecting your relationship.

    You really just have to make your own decision what to do here. You do know that there are quite a few celebrities who are dating, have dated, or even married women with "adult industry" background. Look at Charlie Sheen, Kanye West, Tyga and some others I can't think of. These guys make big buck have successful careers and are well known - and so are their ladies

    If it was me I'd suggest toning down the hardcore/fetish element, raising her rates, etc or do something you both can work together on money wise like a side business together that both of you like. This way she can work as she likes but has the option to earn income in other ways if she chooses.

    At the end of the day f*ck what others think about you and what you do in your life and do what makes you happy.

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Thanks.

    She's going to raise her rates this week and only do softcore. We'll see what happens

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    I really hate to burst your bubble, but even softcore camming is usually looked upon the same way as hardcore. Anyone with a problem with camming won't usually make a distinction at all.



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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Live with it or move on. If it becomes an issue with your friends, your team mates or your team management you will have to figure out what you want to do then. In spite of the fact that you decided to "make her your girlfriend", she simply doesn't think that she needs to change her occupation for you. I happen to think she's right.
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    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
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    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!


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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    To be brutally honest, I think you are both career minded individuals. We are always telling ladies to not give up their jobs for men unless they can pay their way and then some. From what you say, that is something you are willing to do, which is admirable. I don't think she is afraid of trying something new, she seems to be thinking long term. You have only been together for 3 months. She probably doesn't want to give up her income and rely on you because that isn't a long enough time to know if it would be worth it for her. It's nice of you to suggest the 'mainstream' modeling, but it can be tough make good money that way unless you are highly sought after. What happens if she can't book enough shoots to equal her camming income?

    Cam Models are used to thinking of as many scenarios as possible. We look at every outcome and determine the risk vs reward. She may see the risk of totally stopping this early on as not having a high enough reward. Again, you have only been together for 3 months. What happens if she does what you're suggesting and you get injured or cut from the team anyway (unrelated to her camming, this is based on you stating you aren't the best player on the team)? IMO, it isn't worth taking that kind of risk unless I knew I wanted to be with that person forever.

    If you want her to quit, solely because of YOUR reputation, I would just suggest a low key relationship until you really get to know each other. If you truly wanted to be with her, nothing would matter. You should be able to accept her as she is. If she makes the decision to stop, that would be 'good for you'. But it needs to be her decision. Otherwise she would just resent you if things started going south.

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    @dancerbf --

    You are basically asking what should you say to a girl to get her to make major changes in her life so as to facilitate your career. Call me old fashioned but, "will you marry me" is the right thing to say. Your wife might be able to think in terms of family income and view your career and endorsements as more important than her career. Your girlfriend has no reason to do that. You are asking her to commit to your long term interests without you wanting to commit to her.

    As an aside, I don't know your profession. But IMHO I think you are grossly underestimating the public. You are a sports star, dating a stripper is not going to be a big deal. Most of the public cares how well you catch/throw/hit a puck... they really don't care where you dip your wick. You just had a few pro athletes come out as gay after years of people wondering how the fans would react and the reaction was.... who cares? Joe Namath's name is all over everything and I've heard estimates in the 5 figures for number of women he slept with. Babe Ruth fell asleep nude in a public fountain after doing 4 women at the same time in public, in a world a lot more conservative than today's and he's remembered for RBIs not sex. You might want to consider that you are creating a problem where none exists.

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Why is she the one who has to change her career? Maybe she thoroughly enjoys her job. Seems to me you're the only one who has a problem with it. I would never give up my job because the world is full of judgmental assholes who would rather see me doing a job I hate just so I'm not a "whore" in their eyes.

    You're lucky she seems to have less of a short temper than me, I'd have been very insulted if my bf of 3 months suggested I change my job to please a bunch of people I don't necessarily like. I don't think it's fair you want her to change what she does if she's enjoying it.

    I wouldn't do what knightwish suggested either. Proposing to manipulate her so she does what you want? A proposal is supposed to happen because you want to spend the rest of your life with that person as they are. Not a way to manipulate someone into doing what YOU think is best for YOU.




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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Im a cam model. I wouldnt change my occupation if I were her. 3 months? pshh. That's all I'll say.

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    I'll be frank: you want this girl to quit her job so you can show her off.

    This is extremely unlikely to cause any trouble for you whatsoever unless you absolutely insist on parading her around in front of your team and the media. And hey, I totally get the inclination. But if you're going to ask her to reduce her earnings or quit her job entirely to become your arm candy, I think you should make an actual weekly/monthly offer for the privilege.







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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    I like that you respect her doing camming. Unforch, its a hit and miss in that department for each person.

    I don't think you should ask her to change. Really. It's still new and it feels like you want her to prove herself to you. She digs you, so, hmmmm....it prob shouldn't matter considering YOU LIKE HER FOR HER, not how many dildos are in her ass or whatever.

    Once the time increases that you;re still together, MAYBE reevaluate boundaries, but, plz....it's a big deal to ask someone to alter their income. SERIOUS STUFF that really is not to be taken lightly. (Imagine if she asked you to....hypothetically potentially....take less $ than you've become accustomed to before she even showed up? How would YOU feel, honestly).
    mellymay.com

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    hey girls thanks for all the replies I appreciate it. This was exactly the advice I was hoping for. I talked to my agent also and he said to either keep it a causal relationship, or move on if she can't deal with it.

    She didn't do to very well today with the softcore routine and a bunch of her main customers got pissed she wouldn't do the hardcore stuff anymore.

    And I don't want to keep her from making a living on her own terms. So she's free to do what she wants. Like I said before, I actually love that she's a camgirl and think it's super sexy.

    And you girls are right in saying that it is unfair of me to ask her to change professions just so MY reputation wouldn't be jeopardized.

    So here's what I'm going to do..I'll leave it up to her and time will tell.

    I'm just going to go back to dating her casually for now, let her keep doing whatever she was doing before we met. If she can't handle that, then I guess we'll both have to move on.

    I am definitely not ready to get married, I'm still in my early 20s. I'm just going to let her do her thing and steer the relationship into more of a casual one.

    If another year goes by and we're still dating casually and we still feel the same way, I would consider making her my live in gf and paying for all of her expenses as long as she still was busy with working a job she enjoyed. I could definitely get her a job swimsuit modeling and I think she'd enjoy that.

    So it's settled.

    We go back to a casual relationship, she keeps camming. Otherwise I move on.

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    I mean, don't automatically write it off that it needs to be casual if she doesn't adhere to your ideas of what she should change in camming styles. Like, it doesn't mean that she isn't commited to you just because she is nude on cam. Srsly. These are 2 entirely seperate things. If you find her to be less desirable because she is wanting to stick with her usual cam routine, that's on YOU. Just as you wouldn't want her to say, "Hey, how bout take a potential pay cut or drastically alter the way that you've been doing things for ____ yrs," it works both ways.

    Move on if you don't vibe with someone. Move on if you feel that you can't compromise on something that matters to you.
    But.... Don't write it off if it's just a small fraction of what the dynamic between you would actually be.
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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    I have a feeling if she ever read this thread she'd know where she stands, exactly how you feel, and it'd be over in a heartbeat.

    Just be sure you are honest with her about what "casual" means.


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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post
    I have a feeling if she ever read this thread she'd know where she stands, exactly how you feel, and it'd be over in a heartbeat.

    Just be sure you are honest with her about what "casual" means.
    There's a reason I don't date. I love money and until that man comes along who can hustle with me and love me and we are both successful, I will then settle.
    This dudes story was like every date that tried to go serious. Asking me to give up on my career or change for the society sake. Just.No.

    Im not sorry BC when I did give it up for a man..
    I was miserable

    if it went to the point we became serious and I had quit my gig
    I became an abuser (money does keep stress away)

    Casual LOL personally rather be alone. I see casual every day. I want real.
    SAD BUT TRUE.. this pissed me off but that's JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION.. the op can be a nice guy. who knows, good luck

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    First, it's really great to hear a man's perspective on the issue. Second, if you expect someone to seriously alter their income or lifestyle to fit YOU, then it's YOUR responsibility to make some kind of an offer that will have guarantees for that person, and will be better than their current situation. This may or may not mean a marriage proposal, but will certainly require a commitment.
    Please do not punish the girl for being a part of the adult entertainment industry. Since you are young, not sure what you would like to see in the future, have own career plans, and not ready to seriously settle down, maybe you should move on. But before you do, sit down with her and have a conversation. Do not just "switch" to a casual relationship, she will be devastated; make sure there is a clear mutual understanding. You both sound like great people from your description, see if you can reach a compromise that could satisfy both sides.

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Wow what kind of team do you play on? Never mind don't answer that--rhetorical question.

    But I can't imagine them seriously getting bent because your girl is a webcam performer. Is it some city's team where a lot of Jesus freaks live? I have seen the locker room hazing in action, and it is total bullshit. But you would think they would be patting you on the back or maybe even jealous, not try to throw you out for something so trivial.

    Agreed that the 'softcore only' won't work (and will carry the same stigma), but it sounds like you already figured that out. Truly well paid bikini modeling or glamour modeling can be very tough to break into, and would likely mean a serious loss of income.
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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Quote Originally Posted by dancerbf View Post
    Hi first post on here

    So without revealing too many details I have wound up dating an amazing, loving, absolutely gorgeous girl who has recently revealed to me that she has been a camgirl for the past 8 months.

    To be honest I kind of suspected something was going on, at first I thought she was stripping, then I thought she was high-class escorting, but to be honest I would have been cool with it and wouldn't have judged her. After all I have slept pretty indiscriminately with a lot of girls before, I've been to strip clubs and hired an escort or two (or a few more) haha while I was single on the road and couldn't be bothered going to a nightclub and going through the rituals...

    I met this particular girl at the gym, I caught her between sets and struck up a fun conversation...the next time I saw her we decided that we absolutely had to meet for a drink (chemistry was unbelievable) and the rest is history.

    I was seeing a few other girls casually at the time, but they all faded into the abyss after I met this girl.

    The past three months has been absolutely amazing, and I decided to make her my girlfriend. We have been so happy together.

    She is such an amazing girl. I could tell that she was INCREDIBLY nervous when she "came out" but obviously I told her I still felt the same about her and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I pride myself in being a very non-judgemental person - Everyone knows there's a double standard when it comes to sleeping around and I think it's absolutely disgusting for guys to shame women who have the courage to express their sensuality and live in the now. Blame religion I guess.

    Here's my issue...

    I think it's cool that she cams and it actually turns me on to some extent that she is pimping these guys on her site while she is thinking about me every time she cums She is such a legend haha

    I really like her and I feel like she feels the same way about me, however I am a professional athlete and if it got out that I was seriously dating a webcam model, my team would most likely freak out and tell me to dump her immediately or worst case I may get cut. I am a good player but by no means the best player on my team and sadly I am replaceable.

    She doesn't seem to understand this and even though I don't judge her at all for what she does, the general public (the fans who buy tickets, merchandise, etc) may have an extremely negative reaction if one of their players was dating a "camwhore."

    I have enough money to pay for her stuff, but she is very independent and wants to pay her own bills and expenses, which I really respect.

    She doesn't have a college degree, even though she is a really smart girl I told her she should transition into bikini modeling (she is def hot enough) but I think she is scared of the competition and thinks she can make more camming (she's prob right). I wouldn't really even mind her nude modeling as long as it wasn't explicit and was done nice and classy. She just has to stop the DP dildoing on the internet lol! you know what I mean? haha

    Especially since these creeps save the videos and then post them on tubesites and forums. She's still undercover and if she got blown up on one of the sports gossip sites I'd probably have to stop dating her to save my career and I would absolutely hate for that to happen.

    This girl really does love me and I know that if she understood the situation from my angle she would stop. But from a girl's perspective what should I say to convince her. I've tried everything and I think that she's just scared of trying something new. I think she could do great glamour modeling, even selling real estate or starting an online business. She's a great girl.

    I don't want to lay down the ultimatum but it's getting close to that point. I just can't let this mess up my career and I want to be able to take her to public events or even start a family down the road a few years without looking over my shoulder and hoping no one recognizes her. She is not too well known at this point and I think we could get away with it if she stopped now.

    I've met a lot of girls and this one is by far the best, sorry if the post was too long I really just don't want to let this girl go
    Hmmmm.....you have learned that she loves you after three months Allow for me to say this as an whole....I believe she is just a casual fling for you and you should just go with the flow. Frankly, I believe you are just getting to know her .I do not understand why you want her to quit her job after being with you for three months If you are worried about your team finding out than just keep it a light relationship and tell her you are not looking for nothing seriously. By the way, how is nude modeling different than being a cam model? I do not see the difference between hardcore or softcore stuff anyways However, if you truly want her to quit than you should become her sugar daddy and pay her more than what she makes now.

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Quote Originally Posted by dancerbf View Post
    hey girls thanks for all the replies I appreciate it. This was exactly the advice I was hoping for. I talked to my agent also and he said to either keep it a causal relationship, or move on if she can't deal with it.

    She didn't do to very well today with the softcore routine and a bunch of her main customers got pissed she wouldn't do the hardcore stuff anymore.

    And I don't want to keep her from making a living on her own terms. So she's free to do what she wants. Like I said before, I actually love that she's a camgirl and think it's super sexy.

    And you girls are right in saying that it is unfair of me to ask her to change professions just so MY reputation wouldn't be jeopardized.

    So here's what I'm going to do..I'll leave it up to her and time will tell.

    I'm just going to go back to dating her casually for now, let her keep doing whatever she was doing before we met. If she can't handle that, then I guess we'll both have to move on.

    I am definitely not ready to get married, I'm still in my early 20s. I'm just going to let her do her thing and steer the relationship into more of a casual one.

    If another year goes by and we're still dating casually and we still feel the same way, I would consider making her my live in gf and paying for all of her expenses as long as she still was busy with working a job she enjoyed. I could definitely get her a job swimsuit modeling and I think she'd enjoy that.

    So it's settled.

    We go back to a casual relationship, she keeps camming. Otherwise I move on.
    Dude, if I was her....I would totally used you as an sugar daddy and sex toy. But I consider that very casual because it sounds like you do not want to get serious with a woman because she works in the sex industry. So I think a casual relationship would benefit both of you guys since everyone is just barely out of high school

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Tons of famous people date or have dated strippers- retired or not. WHy are you different ? It's way too early for her to change her entire life around. I really think you and your agent are overthinking this. It's not that big of a deal.

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    I've been in this situation several times. Hate being the secret & it always ended up I got dumped no matter how much love they felt for me. They were not sports guys but still famous in other areas of media.

    Longer you stay involved more emotions will develop. Fact is you find love where you find love. There is a major discrimination & slut shaming in today's world where there shouldn't be. We all know sport figures & actors love porn stars & cam girls, rarely do they publicly admit it. Only ones who do are the Rock stars, got to love them.
    The whole world knows ya'll like to follow, date & fuck the fantasies you see on the screen. I feel it is about time, more of you be more open about it. If you were gay, would it be an issue? Love who you fall in love with, you owe no one an explanation.

    Sam

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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Of all the very good advice in this thread, I have to say Sam38g has put it as plainly as it can be put.

    OP, you basically gave your position as, 'I love this girl, but she is in the sex industry, & that's wicked as shit but every1 else can't know b/c if that happens then *I* get fked.'

    Have you ever been 'the secret' in a relationship, for any reason? I have, both b/c of dancing, & over differences such as ethnicity or religion. Same bloody story every time. 'You are so amazing & I love you so much but my family/friends/whoever can't know I feel that way abt you b/c of XYZ.' Nothing makes you feel like shit quite like being told by the one who claims to adore you, that they do not quite adore you enough to stand up for you, & that is pretty much the msg you are sending by telling her to quit/alter her job or by downgrading the relationship.

    If you are a big name in your sport you will be getting all kinds of positive & negative attention no matter what you do; likewise whoever you get involved w/ unless you keep her completely squirrelled away & only pop over to see her under cover of darkness. If it is not her job, it will be smtg else. If you cannot stand up for her as she is, then forget the relationship downgrade, do her a favour & end it completely so she can find sm1 who will.

  33. #23
    Veteran Member AureliaC's Avatar
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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Maybe I'm dense, but if it's really going to be THAT big a deal if it comes out that you're dating a cam girl is it really going to help if it's "casual". If you're screwing her, you're screwing her. How is it going to look better just because you're doing it without any kind of commitment or feelings?
    All I'm getting is that she made a change for you, a sacrifice, and in return she's essentially being demoted to f*ck buddy. Men like you are the reason we DON'T stop working the second a new guy waltzes into the picture. You're in a position to help remove the ridiculous stigma surrounding the adult industry and be happy with a wonderful woman and you're just cowering. She deserves so much more than a "casual" relationship with you, leave her alone to find someone who can make her happy.

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  35. #24
    God/dess DonaDiabla's Avatar
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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Quote Originally Posted by AureliaC View Post
    Maybe I'm dense, but if it's really going to be THAT big a deal if it comes out that you're dating a cam girl is it really going to help if it's "casual". If you're screwing her, you're screwing her. How is it going to look better just because you're doing it without any kind of commitment or feelings?
    All I'm getting is that she made a change for you, a sacrifice, and in return she's essentially being demoted to f*ck buddy. Men like you are the reason we DON'T stop working the second a new guy waltzes into the picture. You're in a position to help remove the ridiculous stigma surrounding the adult industry and be happy with a wonderful woman and you're just cowering. She deserves so much more than a "casual" relationship with you, leave her alone to find someone who can make her happy.
    Aurelia C, I see the difference between casual and serious relationship because if a man wants a serious relationship with a woman than he would not care what others say or think. But come on after three months....how much love going to be between them, anyways? They should just have their fun and do not pretend that they will have a fairy tale romance. She can dump this guy after she decide to have something serious...he just going to marry some ridiculous basketball wife or real house wife anyways. He was just faking with his emotions anyways.

  36. #25
    Veteran Member AureliaC's Avatar
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    Default Re: the cliche dating a camgirl thread :)

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Aurelia C, I see the difference between casual and serious relationship because if a man wants a serious relationship with a woman than he would not care what others say or think. But come on after three months....how much love going to be between them, anyways? They should just have their fun and do not pretend that they will have a fairy tale romance. She can dump this guy after she decide to have something serious...he just going to marry some ridiculous basketball wife or real house wife anyways. He was just faking with his emotions anyways.
    I just don't think he should see her at all if he cares what other people think so much, others won't see the distinction between a serious or casual relationship like they won't care if she cams nude or softcore. She obviously cares enough to change her work for him, so who are we to say that they should just be "casual" and everyone will be happy? I was head over heels for my husband after two months, it isn't always a matter of time but the connection you make during that time.

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