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Thread: Going on 30, Living With Parents

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    Default Going on 30, Living With Parents

    for what it's worth ... from


    (snip)"According to a Pew Research Center analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data, 36 percent of the country’s 18- to 31-year-olds were living in their parents' homes in 2012 -- the highest proportion in at least 40 years. That number is inflated because college students residing in dorms were counted as living at home (in addition to those actually living at home while going to school). Still, 16 percent of 25- to 31-year-olds were crashing with mom and pop -- up from about 14 percent in 2007 and 10 percent in 1968.1 In a Pew survey conducted in December 2011, 34 percent of adults aged 25 to 29 said that due to economic conditions they’d moved back home in recent years after having lived on their own.

    Pew’s analysis of the 2012 data cites lower levels of employment, an increase in college enrollment and a decrease in young people getting married as factors in the increase of millennials living at home. Of course, tying the knot might not be the best option when you don’t have a job. Which brings us to the big unknown both for millennials and those trying to sell products and services to us: Has adulthood been delayed or wholly upended?

    We're not getting married as young as those in previous generations did. We're not buying as many houses or cars. But maybe we will do these things in time -- just in more time than our parents.

    Or maybe we won't. Perhaps a chunk of millennials will never catch up, our lives channeled by the deep grooves of an economic calamity forced upon us by the timing of our births and graduations.

    It could be a long struggle. "Lisa Kahn, a labor economist at the Yale School of Management, studied the earnings of men who left college and joined the work force during the deep recession of the early 1980s,” the New York Times’s Annie Lowrey wrote last March. “Unsurprisingly, she found that the higher the unemployment rate upon graduation, the less graduates earned right out of school. But those workers never really caught up. 'The effects were still present 15 or 20 years later,' she said. 'They never made that money back.'" Citing additional research, Lowrey noted, “For the first time in modern memory, a whole generation might not prove wealthier than the one that preceded it."

    In April, Sarah Ayres of the liberal Center for American Progress attached numbers to the phenomenon: “We estimate that the nearly 1 million young Americans who experienced long-term unemployment during the worst of the recession will lose more than $20 billion in earnings over the next 10 years.” But as Weissmann and Derek Thompson noted in the Atlantic in August 2012, while the recession is partly to blame for a decrease in home and car purchases, “It’s highly possible that a perfect storm of economic and demographic factors -- from high gas prices, to re-urbanization, to stagnating wages, to new technologies enabling a different kind of consumption -- has fundamentally changed the game for Millennials.”

    A lack of wealth -- combined with cultural change and technological advancements -- is bound to affect life-courses and may well narrow, or re-route, the options of many. Data offers hints about where millennials may end up, but only time -- and who knows how much of it? -- will tell. Until then, it might not be a bad idea to stay in mom and dad’s good graces."(snip)

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    I know so many people my age who did everything they were told would be best for them - went to college, majored in something they thought would get them their "dream" jobs, got good grades, graduated - and then worked in restaurants and coffee shops. They're trying to pay off their loans with a minimum wage job. It's no wonder they go back home.

    I've got two brothers currently majoring in low-demand fields. I really wish our parents had encouraged us to look at post-graduation employment stats for various degree programs, but we were actually discouraged from basing our career choices on earning potential rather than "doing what we love." You know what I love? Being able to afford food.







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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    I am curious if any of this is "family culture" related... By that I mean, I am the only kid in my family that moved out early; I had an apartment at 19 and was working and paying for school with loans in my name. But my numerous cousins all lived with their parents pretty much until they got married (one set of which even stayed home, my uncle just built a whole new suite onto his house for them)... the only un-married ones are 25 and 19 and are still in their parents house. Both could afford to move out, but their upbringing was very family oriented, seeing grandparents/cousins/aunts daily, and their parents also had the "why waste money" viewpoint and encouraged them to stay. Sooo, I have wondered if this new trend of living at home is partially because of parents *wanting* the kids to stay home, whether for familial reasons or if they are trying to shelter them from spending any more money than necessary in the economy... seeing as they all thought I was completely loony for "wasting" money on an apartment.

    But yeah, I am surrounded by this with my friends. I have several who are 21-23, with babies, so they stay home because they can't afford to leave (and grandparents are built-in babysitters).
    Even more, there is an odd pattern of those friends who went to college that ended up either moving back in with their parents, or else getting married young and leaning on a spouse to support them while they go to school... while the ones who have worked menial jobs since high school are living on their own without help. I find that odd, especially since they haven't even graduated and aren't being hit with the loans yet. I'm almost wondering if the non-college-going ones have a better grasp on independence...
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    I feel like part of the problem with my generation is too much idealism (doing "what you love for a living"). There are plenty of jobs out there that need to be filled, but people are so fixated on the idea of a glamorous/fun/exciting job that they miss out on opportunities in front of them.

    I personally never dreamed of stripping growing up, but if it helps me pay for my bills and whatnot, then so be it.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    This is the result of people not thinking outside the box. I'm not saying it is everyone's fault (sometimes it is just life circumstance). But at the same time, with enough effort in the right areas (which requires thinking outside the box), I would assume things would generally pay off? If people spent time interning rather than getting more and more formal education, wouldn't that be more beneficial?



    Quote Originally Posted by Sabihah View Post
    I know so many people my age who did everything they were told would be best for them - went to college, majored in something they thought would get them their "dream" jobs, got good grades, graduated - and then worked in restaurants and coffee shops. They're trying to pay off their loans with a minimum wage job. It's no wonder they go back home.
    IMO, that was NOT what is best for them. That is what the media tells them is best for them, because the media is a tool of the government to get us to to do what they want us to do. Education is a business. Their goal is to make huge profits. Even public schools.

    I see so many people being like "In this economy, its NECESSARY to get a degree or I won't get a job!" which makes no sense because its just not true. I mean, maybe if you major in a STEM major, but isn't that like 2% of all majors? Wouldn't people be better off networking into their chosen career path than getting something that everyone already has? Everyone I know who has a good job (who is in their 20s/early 30s) got it because they knew someone who worked there.


    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    I'm almost wondering if the non-college-going ones have a better grasp on independence...
    Bingo! They are thinking outside the box! Not listening to authority or media. Those are the ones who are always ahead IMO.

    And I also think, if you weren't born into a wealthy family and you get yourself in debt, you're kind of fucked. I think a lot of "poor" families who stick together (where one family member cooks, one babysits, etc) have it a lot better than young working or middle class people on their own. There are only so many hours in the day to accomplish your obligations.


    Quote Originally Posted by hellkitty View Post
    There are plenty of jobs out there that need to be filled, but people are so fixated on the idea of a glamorous/fun/exciting job that they miss out on opportunities in front of them.
    I'm not sure about that. I know a lot of people scrambling to take any job possible no matter what it is. Aren't people with graduate degrees working minimum wage jobs? Isn't the unemployment rate at one of the highest levels?

    Another issue is that a lot of jobs that need to be filled, pay UNDER minimum wage (and under the table) and are filled by illegal immigrants. So that is not really possible for someone who did not move to U.S. desperate for any job. Immigrants live with family members, and thus have no expenses. They have a system where some of them work, one of them cooks meals, another babysits... so they don't really have many obligations other than working if they work? Many illegal immigrants fill up 2 or 3 bedroom houses with like 10, 15 immigrants (family members), so they don't really have bills. I say this because I grew up in an area where that occurred so I saw it firsthand.
    Last edited by GlamourRouge; 02-07-2014 at 03:15 AM.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by Sabihah View Post
    I really wish our parents had encouraged us to look at post-graduation employment stats for various degree programs, but we were actually discouraged from basing our career choices on earning potential rather than "doing what we love." You know what I love? Being able to afford food.
    But I mean, what really pays well? Even engineers start at like 50-60k, and those jobs are located in expensive areas. 60k per year salary is ~$810/week after taxes. Is that livable in say... San Francisco? Not really. The things that pay the best are always the shadiest, or the most societally taboo. And they are not as they appear to be most of the time.

    This is the REAL world:

    - It takes money to make money. Like starting a business. That is where the real money is. Many people's family members secretly give them a huge sum of money to start a successful business. And you would not know that unless they told you. But why would they ever tell you this??? If you knew they had money, you would be trying to leech off them. So they pretend to be poor or middle class to scare you away, OR:

    - Living in LA, I have noticed something really... disturbing? Many wealthy people do the following: They own a brick-and-mortar business so they look legit. It looks like their brick-and-mortar business is really successful because the owner has nice things. Only the owner would know if the brick-and-mortar business is successful or not, despite what it APPEARS to be. However, if you get close to the owner, you may find out things that make you go o_O O_O. There are a lot of people selling drugs, selling sex, doing insurance scams (especially if they own a healthcare business!), and all sorts of shady shit and they are just funneling the money through their brick-and-mortar business which is an LLC. If its an LLC, they cannot be sued so their assets are protected. The brick-and-mortar business is barely making a profit or breaking even, but because they claim the shady money as profit for it, it appears to be doing well. They don't give a shit if it does well or fails though- they NEED it to funnel cash through.

    I can sniff them out now, its scary. They are usually the ones that ask if I am a sexworker without me giving any hints at all because shady knows shady. They are even easier to spot if you have no idea what their job is, because if they were an entrepreneur, they would be promoting their business left and right. And that is why the smart ones or the ones bringing in MAJOR cash from shady shit end up opening some random brick-and-mortar business. Its kind of genius actually.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    I know a lot of people scrambling to take any job possible no matter what it is. Aren't people with graduate degrees working minimum wage jobs? Isn't the unemployment rate at one of the highest levels?
    Technically speaking, the 'labor participation rate' ... meaning the percentage of total working age population that actually have a job ... is at record lows. The 'unemployment rate' ... meaning the percentage of population who WANTS a job but is unable to find one ... has declined considerably. The implication of course is that some number of people are now 'comfortable' with the idea of collecting welfare benefits, unemployment benefits, food stamp benefits, disability benefits, housing assistance, utility assistance etc. as opposed to taking a relatively low paying job.


    Another issue is that a lot of jobs that need to be filled, pay UNDER minimum wage (and under the table) and are filled by illegal immigrants
    Economically speaking this is perfectly understandable, since Americans who are eligible for social welfare benefits have little financial 'incentive' to take minimum wage jobs which could reduce those benefits ... whereas ( with certain exceptions ) illegal immigrants are NOT eligible for social welfare benefits thus taking such jobs means the difference between eating or not ! And once illegal immigrants 'officially' replace domestic labor in certain business models, it's a small additional step for the illegal immigrant employer to also violate minimum wage laws, worker safety laws etc.

    However the recent trend in the present low interest rate environment is for employers to invest in automation etc. which permanently eliminates the need for minimum wage workers, thus legally side-stepping minimum wage laws, worker safety laws, mandatory benefit laws etc. The latest release along these lines is Robot Security Guards for museums, shopping malls etc. ... where a single human 'operator' can direct a dozen patrolling robots.


    However, my original thinking when posting this thread was driven by the snippet ""Which brings us to the big unknown both for millennials and those trying to sell products and services to us: Has adulthood been delayed or wholly upended?"" . Dancers and camgirls are obviously attempting to sell goods and services ... and milennials comprise a growing share of our customer demographic with each passing day. As the article also points out, millennials now facing poor job opportunities and depressed starting pay rates are not likely to ever 'catch up' on reduced earnings. In financial terms, this not only means fewer dollars being available for millennials to spend on 'non-essential' items like lap dances or paid webcam right now, but also fewer dollars over the course of the coming decades.

    Also, as SelinaM alludes to, millennials who are unable to 'cut the cord' with family and live independently most likely face specific additional 'pressures' against spending money in strip clubs or paid webcam ... 'pressures' which are 'lack of opportunity' related as much as related to constrained finances.


    However, if you get close to the owner, you may find out things that make you go o_O O_O. There are a lot of people selling drugs, selling sex, ***, and all sorts of shady shit and they are just funneling the money through their brick-and-mortar business which is an LLC. If its an LLC, they cannot be sued so their assets are protected. The brick-and-mortar business is barely making a profit or breaking even, but because they claim the shady money as profit for it, it appears to be doing well. They don't give a shit if it does well or fails though- they NEED it to funnel cash through.
    Ahem, it makes you wonder how many brick and mortar strip clubs are actually profitable 'on their own' ???
    Last edited by Melonie; 02-07-2014 at 04:52 AM.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Hmmmm... I moved out at the age of 18 and loved living by myself plus paying my own bills. However, I had to move back home to take care of my sick mother at the ages of 19 and 27 due to her several illnesses. I thought it was distasteful for me to live my mother after the age of 18...so I never got why anyone would want to live with their parents while being an adult. I would try to get out as soon as possible from my mother's house because I love being independent. To be honest, living alone made me feel much better about being a woman because I can live my life own my terms. I do not understand people in my age group gleefully moving back home or being proud about living with their parents. Unless, someone is taking care of their sick parents, that is apart of their culture, or saving up money to get their own place.....there is no reason to live with their parents. Even though, I moved back home to take of my sick mother twice....I felt it was an shameful act for me to go home. But I was one who thought I should buy my own house at 30 Hell, I am hard on myself for not making 100,000 every year....but that is just me.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    I'm not sure about that. I know a lot of people scrambling to take any job possible no matter what it is. Aren't people with graduate degrees working minimum wage jobs? Isn't the unemployment rate at one of the highest levels?
    What I meant to say is that people are going to school to get degrees for jobs that they'll "love", not considering all of the risks and outcomes, instead of going for occupations that need more workers (STEM, nursing/hospitals, etc). Thus, once they graduate, they realize that their dream jobs are taken and have to settle for the bottom of the barrel because they don't qualify for much else.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    The education system in the USA is the biggest cartel on earth! You basically go to college to then be stuck with a whole bunch of debt which is going to take you years to pay back. Therefore we are all slaves to the system. WELCOME TO THE USA, THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITIES GUYS!!! ::::sarcasm::

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    However, my original thinking when posting this thread was driven by the snippet ""Which brings us to the big unknown both for millennials and those trying to sell products and services to us: Has adulthood been delayed or wholly upended?"" . Dancers and camgirls are obviously attempting to sell goods and services ... and milennials comprise a growing share of our customer demographic with each passing day. As the article also points out, millennials now facing poor job opportunities and depressed starting pay rates are not likely to ever 'catch up' on reduced earnings. In financial terms, this not only means fewer dollars being available for millennials to spend on 'non-essential' items like lap dances or paid webcam right now, but also fewer dollars over the course of the coming decades.

    Also, as SelinaM alludes to, millennials who are unable to 'cut the cord' with family and live independently most likely face specific additional 'pressures' against spending money in strip clubs or paid webcam ... 'pressures' which are 'lack of opportunity' related as much as related to constrained finances.
    From various related articles and just in daily observations regarding those in my age bracket - Millenials - I have observed spend money "frivolously". Instead of saving up for investing in a mortgage or new car we want to have the latest gadgets and bargain styles. It seems as if our generation spends beyond our limit, but not on materials that will be around forever, on experiences and life-enriching items. These acute monetary investments may not stand the test of time, but they are of the "I want to be happy now" mind-frame where in such an unstable economy one asks "why save up for a house when you want to go to Spain? Or why buy a new car when you can recycle through buying used ones?" Also the cost of car insurance, homeowners insurance, registering a vehicle, financing, etc. has perhaps made it more of a chore than a treat to purchase these once sought-after items. Additionally it seems as if even if you get 50% of the total cost, actually owning it is so far in the future, it's not even foreseeable.

    By 2020 Millenials will comprise 30% of all retail sales and 50% of all purchases related to travel: airlines, hotels, and leisure spending. Partially to blame is the "instant-gratification" mindset, where the latest and greatest comes out too soon to save up for it, but also as a generation Millenials are valuing experiences over material items. Perhaps because many of Millenials' guardians were baby boomers who focused on material acquisitions and through their childhood and young adulthood observations of that lifestyle Millenials have seen that items don't equate to happiness, so we are trying something different.

    Since Millenials spend on acute purchases I actually think that entertainment won't be knocked to the wayside; in fact as the year 2020 approaches (when earnings potentials for Millenials allegedly peaks) there may be a large resurgence of enjoyment spending; what previous generations may think of as "wasteful spending", but each generation defines themselves, usually trying to rectify what are perceived mistakes they think the previous generation made. Industries will suffer, but those directed towards experiencing adventure and entertainment won't be the first to sink. This follows the trend that Millenials have a tendency to be almost commitment-phobic, in relationships and purchases.
    "I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act." - Abraham Maslow

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    I wish I still lived with my parents. It is rough out here.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarasaurusrex View Post
    Instead of saving up for investing in a mortgage or new car we want to have the latest gadgets and bargain styles. It seems as if our generation spends beyond our limit, but not on materials that will be around forever, on experiences and life-enriching items.

    Or why buy a new car when you can recycle through buying used ones?"

    Also the cost of car insurance, homeowners insurance, registering a vehicle, financing, etc. has perhaps made it more of a chore than a treat to purchase these once sought-after items.
    I think this is what the media tells us we are doing, but not what we actually are doing.

    We HAVE to own devices like smart phones. They aren't expensive though. Like $200 for an iphone and a $100 kindle. How is that expensive? I don't know ANYONE who goes out and always buying the newest laptop (unless theirs broke or they are a cam girl and it is a business-related tax deduction expense). Smart phones are NECESSARY. GPS anyone?

    I also know absolutely no young people who have purchased a new car unless it was purchased for them by someone else. However, I will say that I did read that now the demand for used cars is higher than it has ever been, therefore sometimes it is actually better to buy new rather than used (the older the car the higher the interest rate).

    Most insurances weren't even required until the 90s. Car insurance used to be optional. Now there is insurance for EVERYTHING which is slowly becoming required (Obamacare, anyone?), and older generations never had to deal with that. Basically our generation is forced to pay expensive insurance (we're young afterall, so its very expensive due to our age) with high deductibles so we can't even reap the benefits of having to pay monthly for expensive insurances. Our parents generation saved hundreds of dollars in savings each month not having to pay these fees.

    Financing a car isn't even expensive honestly. I have a recentl bankruptcy and my rate was 2-3% for a 2011-2013. That's like, nothing.

    Older generations also received cheap education they could pay for with a summer job. A summer job won't even pay for community college fees these days!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarasaurusrex View Post
    By 2020 Millenials will comprise 30% of all retail sales and 50% of all purchases related to travel: airlines, hotels, and leisure spending. Partially to blame is the "instant-gratification" mindset, where the latest and greatest comes out too soon to save up for it, but also as a generation Millenials are valuing experiences over material items. Perhaps because many of Millenials' guardians were baby boomers who focused on material acquisitions and through their childhood and young adulthood observations of that lifestyle Millenials have seen that items don't equate to happiness, so we are trying something different.
    lol, this is all I have to say about that ^^^:

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Where to even start... How about at the end? Skip the long drawn out part and just go for the conclusion?

    There won't be an economy for the millennials to sink or swim in. The gross assets of our entire nation are being systematically funneled up and/or out. Current economic models will no longer apply in the very near future.

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    There won't be an economy for the millennials to sink or swim in. The gross assets of our entire nation are being systematically funneled up and/or out. Current economic models will no longer apply in the very near future.
    That's a somewhat pessimistic assessment, but you're certainly not alone in making it !!!

    For a fact, the globalization of agricultural and industrial production has now created a situation where unskilled and semi-skilled labor pools must compete with each other regardless of where they are located in the world. While the US has more or less failed to reduce unskilled and semi-skilled pay rates, the effect has been to both hold US pay rates steady and to eliminate US jobs. In an environment where the US dollar denominated prices of necessities like food and energy continue to rise, stagnant paychecks ( or shrinking paychecks net of higher taxes ) virtually guarantee a declining US standard of living.

    For the past few years, the growing 'gap' between stagant / declining after-tax earnings and the rising costs associated with the 'average' standard of living has been bridged via Americans going even deeper into debt, and by Americans liquidating assets / equity ( 2nd mortgages, retirement funds etc.) However, at this point, the ability of 'average' Americans to gain approval for additional debt is declining, the ability of 'average' Americans to service their existing debt is declining as well, and there aren't a whole lot of assets / equity remaining to liquidate ( a large percentage of home mortgages are underwater, retirement accounts have been emptied prematurely etc.)



    In some cases, notably somewhat recent college graduates, the debt service costs of student loans, and the levels of after-tax earnings actually available, point to a standard of living which necessarily involves living in their parents' basement !!! But the scariest part arguably comes into play when those parents reach retirement age ... thus no longer financially able to continue 'subsidizing' their 30 year old child with a 'free' place to live. At the same time, in many ways those parents will be forced to start depending on their own and everyone else's 30 year old CHILDREN to help finance their own social security retirement / health care costs etc. !!! At that point, the S#!t will seriously hit the proverbial fan. And based on baby boomer demographics, the leading edge of this trend is already here !
    Last edited by Melonie; 02-20-2014 at 02:05 PM.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    another interesting tidbit ... from


    (snip)"the American Community Survey, which has a much larger sample, shows the headship rate dipping and then flatlining in 2012. “The decline has either slowed or reversed,” Kolko says. This could be attributable to survey assumptions about population growth, but it makes it hard for economists to definitively say whether the household formation crash was just a blip from the recession, or part of a more lasting “kids in the basement” trend. Indeed, even in the more favorable Current Population Survey data, the share of young adults living with parents remains well above pre-recession rates, even for the employed.

    Kolko, like many housing analysts, believes that at some point, the economy will return to fundamentals. In fact, the story goes, the low household formation rate today actually signals optimism for the future, since much more housing will have to be built to meet the pent-up demand. Homebuilders are certainly acting like that demand will come back, at least for rentals; apartment construction in 2013 was at a 15-year high. “Builders wouldn’t have done that if they weren’t betting on a strong increase in household formation,” Jed Kolko says. And to be sure, no young adults want to live with their parents forever.

    But what if the pent-up demand story is just no longer true? What if the combination of graduating with debt, difficult job prospects, and stagnant wages has created a new normal? What if college graduates simply expect to spend their first decades “in the real world” shackled with debt and struggling to get by? Without clearer data, we won’t know the truth. But there’s no question that the finances of college graduates are more strained now than at practically any point in our history. Forty million Americans start out their working lives with a massive debt burden, and the salary they can earn out of college—if they can get a job at all—simply isn’t enough to keep up. “The combination of more debt and lower incomes means more risk, and many young workers are walking on an economic tightrope,” said Rohit Chopra, student loan ombudsman for the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, at a recent field hearing.

    If the Great Delay persists, it will handicap millennials for decades to come. A student taking out $53,000 in debt will lose $208,000 over his lifetime, according to the think tank Demos, because he will be less able to build home equity or save for retirement early in his life."(snip)


    The take-away from this article involves the 'time value of money'. Spending money on student loan principal and interest payments prevents money from being directed toward assets and savings / investments. Thus millennial 'basement dwellers' forced to spend a good portion of their earnings on student loans / student loan interest payments are effectively delayed from being able to build assets / savings / investments that will ( hopefully ) increase in value ... typically delayed by 10 years or more.

    Over the course of a lifetime, the ongoing student loan principal and interest payments, the resulting inability to save, the lost 'passive' income potential from those non-existant savings, and the years ofi lost compound interest earnings on the non-existant 'passive' income, can wind up 'costing' the person far more than the basic amount of their student loan debt. The Demos forecast shows that the total number of dollars 'lost' can be FOUR TIMES the original amount of student loan debt.

    This certainly brings a 'new reality' to the old paradigm that a college education 'guarantees' a better future. Using the Demos example, how many years of earnings, and what increased level of earnings over those of a 'regular job', will be required to make up for a $208,000 'loss' ? And don't forget to add in the initial 4+ years of 'sacrificed' earnings during the years spent attending college instead of working at a 'regular job' on top of that $208,000 !!!
    Last edited by Melonie; 02-24-2014 at 10:09 AM.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Hopefully we'll eventually elect people with real ideas for how to fix this situation. But maybe 20-somethings guys and their parents will figure out the necessary compromises for living together happily. Then, even after those guys final get a decent income like they deserve, they'll stay at home, and spend their whole paycheck on DANCES!

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    I feel for people who go to college and then can't find a job and have to move back in with their parents, I really do.

    But that's not the case for many people living with their parents. I have a 24 year old boomerang kid I've kicked out several times and it's due to him being irresponsible and lacking ambition. I hate saying that because I love him but he would be content to just lay around my house, eat my food, and do pretty much nothing if I let him.

    The last time he moved home, I let him stay here for a year and he saved nothing. Halfway through the year I demanded rent from him and put it aside and then when his deadline to move out came up, I gave it to him to buy a car.

    He's living in a motel now because it's all he can afford and I feel bad for him but I can't enable him anymore. He's not in school, he has a shitty job and he's not looking for a better one. It makes me mad because I've only had him since he was 13. I feel like his biological mother really dropped the ball.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Wow, stripping really was a great way to spend my college years. Graduate with money in the bank, four solid years of business experience and a degree in a field that pays well.

    XOXO
    Z

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    It's actually a recent trend throughout human history to be so individualized and own our own homes. Throughout the world (and history), it was actually more common for two or even three generations to live under the same roof.
    Past generations of Americans were able to get their own homes after becoming adults because we were extremely wealthy compared to other countries in the past. Independence, education, owning a home and a car as an individual was attainable and accessible. Today, I don't think that's the case. I think the "going back to parents after college" trend implies that America isn't the super rich world superpower anymore, rather than "omg, our generations are failing and losing values!!"


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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    I feel for people who go to college and then can't find a job and have to move back in with their parents, I really do.

    But that's not the case for many people living with their parents. I have a 24 year old boomerang kid I've kicked out several times and it's due to him being irresponsible and lacking ambition. I hate saying that because I love him but he would be content to just lay around my house, eat my food, and do pretty much nothing if I let him.

    The last time he moved home, I let him stay here for a year and he saved nothing. Halfway through the year I demanded rent from him and put it aside and then when his deadline to move out came up, I gave it to him to buy a car.

    He's living in a motel now because it's all he can afford and I feel bad for him but I can't enable him anymore. He's not in school, he has a shitty job and he's not looking for a better one. It makes me mad because I've only had him since he was 13. I feel like his biological mother really dropped the ball.
    Damn MG that's rough. I don't know how you deal with that, I think I would lose my marbles. I never had or adopted kids, but I image seeing their problems must hurt much worse than dealing with your own problems.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by rosemead
    It's actually a recent trend throughout human history to be so individualized and own our own homes. Throughout the world (and history), it was actually more common for two or even three generations to live under the same roof.
    Past generations of Americans were able to get their own homes after becoming adults because we were extremely wealthy compared to other countries in the past. Independence, education, owning a home and a car as an individual was attainable and accessible. Today, I don't think that's the case. I think the "going back to parents after college" trend implies that America isn't the super rich world superpower anymore, rather than "omg, our generations are failing and losing values!!"
    But that's exactly the point; through a combination of corruption and manipulation of the system, and ingrained selfishness and apathy of the people, the U.S. - and most of western society - is being dragged backwards. There is no reason for this nation or any in Europe to be moving backward; indeed, technology and resources are such that the rest of the world should be catching up to us. The only thing preventing this and causing the current situation is the world's super-rich draining the pool so to speak.

    Much has been made of teh 1% here. But the fact is that on a global scale it's even more lopsided. I do NOT believe in socialism or communism; however, some "redistribution" is goin gto be required soon. Historically, that means war. I'd like to think that wouldn't be necessary in this day and age, but the fact is that once again, as has so often been the case in history, lawmakers and enforcers are in the pockets of the greedy, and the rest are left to wallow as best they can. Force is the only thing that rectifies this when the laws can't be relied upon.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Past generations of Americans were able to get their own homes after becoming adults because we were extremely wealthy compared to other countries in the past. Independence, education, owning a home and a car as an individual was attainable and accessible. Today, I don't think that's the case. I think the "going back to parents after college" trend implies that America isn't the super rich world superpower anymore, rather than "omg, our generations are failing and losing values!!"
    While nobody likes to admit the real facts of the situation, the highly abnormal 'gains' in the US economy in the latee 40's, 50's and 60's ... and the associated high standard of living of Americans during that period i.e. easily buying homes, buying cars, etc. ... was in fact due to the US being the only major industrial country left standing in the aftermath of World War 2. Specifically, the 'beneficial' economic effects of WW2 were A. competing foreign manufacturing facilities were bombed to rubble, B. competing skilled and semi-skilled work forces of most other countries were killed off by the millions, C. the US 'hoovered up' technology / intellectual property from around the world for 'free', and D. the US was in a position to dictate that the US dollar must be used for virtually all international transactions.

    These 'beneficial' after-effects of WW2 resulted in huge economic growth and huge profits for US industries, banks, and workers. America's de-facto world monopoly didn't begin to break until our former WW2 enemies managed to rebuild their workforces and manufacturers over the course of the next generation ... leading to Volkswagens, Hondas, Sony's, etc. beginning to appear en masse in the mid to late 1960's. And even when US economic growth slacked off due to this foreign competition, the US and American workers had already built up a huge amount of capital / savings / assets. That capital / savings / assets enabled continued spending in excess of actual income, and provided a continued ability to borrow, which arguably allowed America to maintain an artificially high standard of living right up to the mid 2000's. However, at this point in time, American competitiveness has been lost, savings are starting to become exhausted, assets are liquidated, individual ability to borrow is being curtailed, etc. Thus, arguably, at this point in time it is only the US gov't's continued ability to borrow at a reasonable cost and in turn 'give' that borrowed money to certain Americans that is still sustaining America's above average standard of living relative to that of other countries.


    some "redistribution" is going to be required soon. Historically, that means war. I'd like to think that wouldn't be necessary in this day and age, but the fact is that once again, as has so often been the case in history, lawmakers and enforcers are in the pockets of the greedy, and the rest are left to wallow as best they can. Force is the only thing that rectifies this when the laws can't be relied upon.
    Historically, you are ( unfortunately ) absolutely correct !!! The arguable alternative is to allow the US standard of living to drop to the world-wide average, as well as for the US gov't to tax / collect enough additional moneys from American individuals and companies to not only cease additional US gov't borrowing but to actually pay down existing US gov't debts owed to other countries !!!
    Last edited by Melonie; 03-03-2014 at 04:59 AM.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by rosemead View Post
    It's actually a recent trend throughout human history to be so individualized and own our own homes. Throughout the world (and history), it was actually more common for two or even three generations to live under the same roof.
    Past generations of Americans were able to get their own homes after becoming adults because we were extremely wealthy compared to other countries in the past. Independence, education, owning a home and a car as an individual was attainable and accessible. Today, I don't think that's the case. I think the "going back to parents after college" trend implies that America isn't the super rich world superpower anymore, rather than "omg, our generations are failing and losing values!!"
    Actually, America was not the only place where people lived on their own. In many parts of the Caribbean such as Barbados and Jamaica, it was an honor back in the day not to burden one's parents by still living there as a adult. For example,many generations of my family would move out at the age of 18 and stay gone forever since 1800. This was not only symbol of pride but was seen as a passage to adulthood. In fact, it was customary not to even live near your parents..most people in my family tree will live between 10 cities away to even a whole country away from their parents. I failed as a woman when I lived with my mother because of our family tradition and Caribbean/Latin American background. I do not really understand why American young adults would burden their parents by living at home at all. This might be harsh to say but I would never want to burden my mother by living with her. Just like when my mother gets up in age...she not burden me by living at my home. She will maintain her own house as I will maintain mine. It is tradition and it will stay that way. My grandmother maintain her own home until her dying day and I expect my mother to do the same thing.

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    Default Re: Going on 30, Living With Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by ytqclys View Post
    Hopefully we'll eventually elect people with real ideas for how to fix this situation. But maybe 20-somethings guys and their parents will figure out the necessary compromises for living together happily. Then, even after those guys final get a decent income like they deserve, they'll stay at home, and spend their whole paycheck on DANCES!
    Yuck....I agree with the most part but the men living at home part. A man should feel disgusting by even sharing a house with his parents. Unless that is a part of their culture or trying to save for their own homes....men living with their parents should be avoid at all costs.

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