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Thread: I want to divorce my mother

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    Travel I want to divorce my mother

    ant to divorce my mother

    My mom is causing me a lot of pain lately. She got engaged to this 29 year old guy last year and literally stopped acknowledging my existence. I'm not e exaggerating, about a month ago I called her over fifty times, my husband called her about forty, she finally turned off her phone. She sends my sister and I calls to voicemail. She didn't call me on my birthday but send, happy bday text. She literally wants nothing to do with my sister and I. On Christmas she walked into my sister's house and said,"hurry up everyone and eat so I can leave." She lives five minutes away and I've seen her less than ten times in over a year this includes holidays. Last time she called was because she needed my husband to help out with math stuff, as soon as he finished she tells us she has to go to sleep, its life five pm. Yesterday she calls me to tell me she needs a favor. I hit her up yesterday. I also hit up her man.

    I just said

    Look I know you're ignoring me on purpose. I don't need to be a part of your life since you've made it obvious you don't want me in it. Just let me know so that I'll stop trying, I don't need to keep contacting someone that wants nothing to do with me.

    Then I asked her man
    Why?Because of you? Ever since you came in the picture now you're her first priority?



    My mother was never a good mom but that's another story.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to divorce my mother

    Just a thought I had while reading your post, do you think this is purely of her own doing, since she got the new guy in her life, or is there a possibility he is pushing her to shut you out?

    If it is the former I would add her to my ESAD list.

    So sry this is causing you such pain.

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    Default Re: I want to divorce my mother

    I considered that too. What drives me crazy is that she can do much better! Why would he do that though? Makes no sense

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    Default Re: I want to divorce my mother

    oh my gosh; my mother has done the same thing to me. she left her very longterm partner for a much younger woman ended up marrying her and pretty much cut me out of her life. stole from me, ignores me, lies to me, and generally just is cruel to me emotionally etc. the best thing that has helped me deal with it, well at least come to terms with it, is building a close support system of good friends who know the situation. it is still very hard and doesn't make any sense really however being able to talk about it and have others remind you that you ar eloved and you are a worthwhile person does help as corny as it sounds. and i am so sorry you are going through this; i know how hard it is i wish i had more help.
    love love love;
    jessa james




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    Default Re: I want to divorce my mother

    Just let her go.

    Stay distant enough that you do not care if she comes or goes

    She will always be your mother but that does not mean you have to be involved with her

    It is all about low expectations............

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    Senior Member Tarasaurusrex's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to divorce my mother

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWeirdOne View Post
    I considered that too. What drives me crazy is that she can do much better! Why would he do that though? Makes no sense
    He would do that because, being in the twilight of his 20's he's still extremely insecure and sees her relationships with others as a threat to their relationship.
    "I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act." - Abraham Maslow

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    Default Re: I want to divorce my mother

    I'm so sorry you are going thru this. i know how painful it is bc im in a similar situation. my mom divorced my dad of 25 years and has since dated a total douchebag who also happens to have also dated my sister ((( its caused so much drama in my fam that instead of just realizing that family is more important, she's basically shut us out. whenever we do get to see her she's constatntly texting him and running into the next room to talk to him. the saddest part is we were always super close and she was a great mother. i don't know whats gotten into her head

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    Default Re: I want to divorce my mother

    Let her go and get therapy to handle and accept the loss. It will get better with supportive help.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: I want to divorce my mother

    I divorced my dad for similar reasons. It's been nearly 20 years since I last spoke to him. My brother keeps trying to stay in contact with our father, but it has brought him nothing but heartache. My situation is very similar to TheWeirdOne's. My dad's new wife wanted nothing to do with his children and he basically had to tell her that he will cut off contact with his kids as soon as we turned 18 in order to convince her to marry him. He wanted us kids to sneak around. I was having none of it.

    I told him that the relationship with his kids was up to him. I told him that he could call me any time. He never has.

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    Default Re: I want to divorce my mother

    I cut both of my parents completely out of my life last year and I feel so much better for doing it.

    In my case, I finally had to accept that they don't care about me. The only time they would call is when they needed something from me. They never asked about my life, and when I would call them they'd make up some excuse to get off the phone right away.

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it hurts. You don't have to have a relationship with another adult who makes you feel lousy or treats you poorly.

    I know many people say you should never cut off your mother for any reason but that's a bunch of bullshit. If you had a friend, husband, boyfriend, etc. who acted that way people wouldn't even hesitate to tell you to get out of that relationship. Your mother should treat you better than a shitty friend would.

    I'm glad you stood up for yourself. I know it's hard but I think you did the right thing.

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