I would move out asap if I had nothing to lose, but we leased for another 5 months and I already prepaid the rent to my ex's mother because we used her credit to sign the lease. My ex (we didn't 'break up' yet because I am scared to push it and he probably thinks I'll get over him and accept him back) is away for 2 months, but he will come back and live with me again for three more months. Three more months of crazy. :/
The problem is that I signed the lease, there would be penalties with breaking it, and my ex's mother (who has my rent money) wouldn't be pleased if I talk to her about trying to get out of the lease or explaining WHY I am leaving. The mother sends my rent money to my ex's account and she seems friendly, even though I barely talk to her. She doesn't know that I was my ex's "girlfriend" and I just found out it's because my ex thinks I am not someone he is ashamed to introduce me to his mother. In her mind, I am just a good friend who has been living with him for over a year (there were red flags about my ex but I didn't know what he was capable of). I wouldn't tell her that her only son is a chronic liar, manipulator, cheater (he cheated on me while he's away and he told me himself), an emotional abuser (he insulted me and said unbelievably hurtful things about me while trying to justify why he cheated), and an ass. She might not even believe me and think I am the crazy one.
So yeah, once he comes back, I'll have to stay in close proximity with him for 3 more months. I don't think he'll try to steal stuff from me or kill me, but it's *possible* that he will constantly try to pick fights and make my life a living hell (he's petty like that). My income isn't high enough and I did not save enough to find a different place to live right away anyway, so my options are even less.
My two high school girl friends (at a different state) told me that he did indeed sound like a psycho and and a creep. My ex claimed that the other girl knew he had a girlfriend, that she wanted to "fight" me out of jealousy, and that he called her stupid to her face and demanded her to stay faithful to him, even though she wasn't his girlfriend. If she's so pretty and other guys are into her, why would she put up with that? Something doesn't add up. Also, normal people don't want to 'fight' someone they never met, so either my ex was just demonizing her (and he painted a vicious picture of her to me and I told him I didn't understand why he was friends with her if she was so stupid/immature/drama queen, and that she must not be as bad as he makes her out to be). My ex claims that he never talks about me to her because apparently she hates hearing about me. Uh, ok? Something doesn't sound right.
I showed one my girl friends the facebook of the other girl, and we both agreed that the girl was pretty and social, and way beyond my ex's league. Such a girl would never put up with some short guy controlling her and treating her like crap. Plus, on her facebook, she seemed really bubbly and nice, and I doubt she would try to 'fight' me. I have a feeling that the "other girl" isn't even interested in my ex nor fucked him, and that my ex probably just made it up to inflate his own ego. Psycho, right?
My girls both agreed that I can handle living with him just for another 3 months, as long as I reach out to my other friends, hang out with other people more, maybe even rebound, as long as I don't fuck my ex. I am a college girl who has studies and friends to focus on, but I am not necessarily a social butterfly who brings people over to the house. I am trying to get my house clean and presentable so I can have people over. I have no problem not fucking my ex, he creeps me out. If he did fuck the girl, he could've fucked others and he'd me too dirty for me to touch. Also, if he didn't fuck the other girl, then he's a psycho for lying about it and that's even scarier than if he did indeed fuck the girl.
I lost study time and sleep over this asshole and his "constructive criticism" of me, not only because it broke my memories of him as this patient and *generally* sweet person, but also because I am genuinely freaked out about having to live with this crazy, argumentative creep for 3 months. He claims that he will still love and care about me even if we don't live together anymore. He did apologize to me and say that he realized that I am the girl he wants to be with (and previously, he told me that he's ashamed of me and wasn't guilty about fucking someone else because I am not a 'real' girlfriend), but I have a feeling that the act to coax me back will stop and he will become passive aggressive and give up trying to be civil with me once he realizes that he lost me for good. He might say sorry now but who knows how his emotions will change two months later when he comes back? Maybe he will come back with full-on hatred of me. When I was with him, he was *generally* very good, but it will not be the same after the cheating and the insulting things he said and the 2 months of brokenness and physical distance.
Should I just break the lease and bail after 2 months (and I may or may not get my 3 month rent money back), or just keep low and put up with the awkward atmosphere for 3 months? I highly doubt that he's going to beat me up or kill me. I feel like he's too soft for that. Sorry if this is just ranting or if it's so obvious what I should do. I really don't know. I just wanted to tell someone. This is the first live-in relationship I've been in. I need a hug.





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oh honey I am so sry he is putting you thru a wringer.

(totally wish I can give them all a hug!)
He payed me back when he borrowed money, helped me out, and did other responsible things (no one is 100% bad) but now that we're no longer trusty allies, who knows how he'll act? He also probably thinks he still has a chance with me because he was often a dick before he left (all verbal) and I told him I don't want to live with him anymore, and he apologized and nothing ever happen after. I sound like a doormat and really, I was.

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