Here's my confession: I have prejudiced feelings towards other blacks.
Looking back on my life, all the people who have hurt me have been black. They ruined my life. I was a size 5, good grades, on my way to law school. There was crabs in a barrel syndrome and a lot of fighting. So I became clinically depressed and picked up a psychosis. Now I'm unemployed, size 14, broke. I have a huge fear that they will do it again if I start hanging out with them again. Only this time I'll be older and it will be harder to turn things around.
Occurrences:
-Tormented and abused in grade school due to bad reputation by wannabe gangsters
-Harassed for not listening to rap and r&b "you hate your race you bitch"
-Asked why I'm so secretive and then when I open up I get judged
-Jealousy and cattiness in college
-Bullying in the workplace
Political Thoughts I Find Annoying:
-Reparations, Trans-Atlantic slavery as the only form of slavery, affirmative action, hate crimes, "hate speech" instead of free speech, black invention myths (peanut butter? come on now), the label African American instead of black American, confusing racism with prejudice, "self-hatred" as if you're one entity, racial profiling as racist, excusing sexist behavior
I will never forget how I once went to a website called Sisternet. I was interested in pledging a black sorority. I wanted sisterhood. They said "post your controversial opinions here." Mine was "racism is virtually non-existent in America." I got told off. I asked for examples. One girl said she waited until 2 am to catch a cab. I said that's not racism, that's rational discrimination. They said "that's an oxy MORON." These are college educated women. They said I was being condescending. Why would I be condescending when they're employed, they're in a sorority I'm interested in joining, they're older, they have houses and cars, and for all I knew they could have been multimillionaires. They said "no you knew EXACTLY what you were doing." I cried and said "I don't understand. Every time I try to connect with my sisters, I end up feeling hurt." They said "sisters?? It's sisTAS." It just got really ugly.
I used to care about racial uplift. I have read about 20 books on racism. I was the founder and president of the Black Student Union and the captain of the Step Team in high school. In college, I was in a black drama club, I was in gospel choir, I was a mentor to black children, I took at least five African American Studies classes, I went to forums on campus, I started a collegiate unity conference for black people that created chapters at several nearby colleges, and all my friends were black. I was hopeful and caring. Now I help Latinos.



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