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    Default telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Hey guys-

    So I'm moving to London in a week and I'm trying to find an apartment to share. I don't think I can afford to live by myself and honestly I would rather have a roommate anyway. I have a few viewings lined up for when I get there (I've rented out a vacation rental but it's just absolutely INSANELY expensive so I'm trying to get into an apartment by the end of the March at the latest) and I know they're all going to ask me what I do for a living.

    I'm debating if I should just be totally honest and open with them or if I should lie. I don't want to scare potential roommates off, but I also don't want to live with people who have an issue with strippers or look down on them in any way. I guess I could lie and say I work somewhere else, but whenever I lie to people they always ask me for specific details like where I work etc. The only other option I have at this point, since I haven't secured a job yet, is to say I have no job which I feel like is as bad if not worse!

    For those of you who have roommates-- were you honest with them about what you do?

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    I don't have roommates since uni - but I'd point out with your schedule, there's almost no way your job won't come off as a little peculiar hours-wise - I think honesty is the best option, as I don't think hiding the job will actually work. It probably eliminates 90+ percent of any hetero guys from being potential roommates (because of the fantasy-maybe-she'll-hook-up-with-me issues it will no doubt bring up - and yes, I would have been one of them when I was in my 20's), but in the end, if you're going to be there for a while, it would be worth it to be upfront from the start.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    When I've had roommates while dancing, I've always been vague about my job at first (saying you work at a bar in x area is usually enough for most people) and then disclosed if I felt it was appropriate and that they would take it well. As long as the rent is coming in on time, I think that's enough. Besides, you want to know if your roommates are trustworthy first, especially if you'll have large amounts of cash in your room. Of course, it may come out right away if you have to disclose your employment, though that's not highly likely if you're just subletting.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Besides, you want to know if your roommates are trustworthy first, especially if you'll have large amounts of cash in your room
    Indeed, this is a MAJOR worry with any roommate(s) ... as well as some landlords !!! For better or worse, people seem to assume that 'strippers' who are earning a lot of cash, and failing to report much of it to the IRS / HM Revenue, will NOT be in a good position in regard to reporting a theft of ( unreported ) cash to local LE. And, obviously, in the event of a theft of cash, it is extremely difficult for the 'victim' to prove how much cash was actually stolen. As such, thoughts of being able to steal cash from a 'stripper' with a high degree of impugnity often brings out the worst in people.

    And the problem gets compounded if you're not going to be in a position to immediately open a new account in a local bank where you can deposit the UK pounds you'll be earning, forcing you to 'stash cash' instead. Thus I'd try to avoid being too specific regarding your 'occupation'.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Tell them you worked in LA for 'Dewey Cheatum &Howe' and you are still doing some work for them weird hours time change dontcha know..............

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Forgot about the issue about UK banks & trustworthy roommates. I was lucky enough up not have a bad experience even with 10+ in school. So I'd still be upfront but not right away. It's times like these that make me realize just how unequal the world is. I never had to think about that when I was in school.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Thanks for the advice guys. I'm always extremely secretive about the fact that I work at a club and I'm just getting so tired of lying to people. But I feel like it will be a turn off for a lot of people, I don't want to be stereotyped and I didn't even think about the issue of stashing cash in my room. I will actually have a bank account as soon as I get there, but I don't usually make daily deposits of my money, I deposit once a week or every few days.

    I guess I'll see how the conversation goes. I'm trying to sign a 6 month lease so I think some questions about employment are going to come up

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    I lived with roomates for about three or four months when I first moved here. What Shanna advised is pretty much what I did...told them I worked at a bar until I got to know them a little better. Plus it was kind of obvious with my fake boobs, BMW and nice bags at 20!! Also remember Europeans are not as prude as Americans and they probably won't have such a huge issue. Good luck with the move. Sounds adventurous.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    If you are in the financial position to, it might be advantageous for you to seek out a 2 bedroom apartment and sign the lease yourself, and then you yourself sublet to potential roomates. I've done this so when I have people over to see my place when I need a new roomate and they ask what I do for a living I just tell them I am a student and I dance part time in addition to running my own business. If you can score an apartment in a desirable area finding a roomate that way shouldn't be hard at all because you will have people lining up and the ones that act uncomfortable or sketchy just don't make the short list. If you are going to only look for sublets though...I wouldn't say anything. The explanation that you just moved to the country and are looking for work should suffice for now, and it is the truth Even as a dancer myself I'd be wary of living with another dancer with only a few exceptions. And I've done it before.Obviously didn't end well. So that should tell you how about 99% of people would react to you telling them you're a dancer when you're asking to sublet from them. It's a little bit different I think, when YOU own the appartment and people are going to be paying you money instead of the other way around, which requires a high perception of responsibility, which is why I'd recommend that option if you can. I also hate lying and this arrangement has worked quite well for me for a few years. The most important factor in choosing a new roomate I've learned over the years is gut feeling when you meet them. My best roomates there has always been some level of "instabond" at that first meeting. So keep an eye out for that when you go meet people
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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    In addition to concerns about money being stolen, I would like to add being concerned about roommates trying to scam you out of more than your fair share of bills. When I started dancing part-time again a couple years ago, and my roommate knew, she "suddenly" started being short on the bills she owed me all the time. Or expect me to always be the one to replace toilet paper and trash bags and things like that. Her line when she was "short" was always, "Well, $10 isn't going to hurt you or anything, right?" Like, just because I was a dancer, that meant that I should cover more expenses because, you know, money was just "falling out my ass" or something. She still pulls this crap, to this day. We share a storage unit - it's in my name, and she never pays me on time or the right amount when she finally does pay me. When we both worked the same shitty job, she had no problem paying me - but now that she knows I'm back to sex work.... she doesn't feel like she needs to cover her half properly because "I'll be fine."

    This was my best friend. Imagine how people who don't even know or care about you will try to scam you out of money if they think you have a ton of dancer cash flowing in. Just be careful what you reveal to people.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    I wouldn't, let say your roommate's are nice trustworthy people, but one of them could tell their friends that you're a stripper. You never know, who will end up knowing. And since people assume strippers have a lot of money hiding under their mattress, they will try to break in, or assault you on your way home.

    Maybe you can tell them you're a waitress or bartender. The issues is going to be hiding your stripper gear if you share a room. So you could say you work for a burlesque show, but you don't get pay much.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    Hey guys-

    So I'm moving to London in a week and I'm trying to find an apartment to share. I don't think I can afford to live by myself and honestly I would rather have a roommate anyway. I have a few viewings lined up for when I get there (I've rented out a vacation rental but it's just absolutely INSANELY expensive so I'm trying to get into an apartment by the end of the March at the latest) and I know they're all going to ask me what I do for a living.

    I'm debating if I should just be totally honest and open with them or if I should lie. I don't want to scare potential roommates off, but I also don't want to live with people who have an issue with strippers or look down on them in any way. I guess I could lie and say I work somewhere else, but whenever I lie to people they always ask me for specific details like where I work etc. The only other option I have at this point, since I haven't secured a job yet, is to say I have no job which I feel like is as bad if not worse!

    For those of you who have roommates-- were you honest with them about what you do?
    What is the price range in London in USD for a room? Is it more than prime LA/SF/NYC?

    I've always been upfront with my roommates about what I do. The one time I wasn't, and I told her I was a babysitter (I thought she was conservative), she totally knew I was lying and I ended up telling her the truth a couple months later.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    Indeed, this is a MAJOR worry with any roommate(s) ... as well as some landlords !!! For better or worse, people seem to assume that 'strippers' who are earning a lot of cash, and failing to report much of it to the IRS / HM Revenue, will NOT be in a good position in regard to reporting a theft of ( unreported ) cash to local LE. And, obviously, in the event of a theft of cash, it is extremely difficult for the 'victim' to prove how much cash was actually stolen. As such, thoughts of being able to steal cash from a 'stripper' with a high degree of impugnity often brings out the worst in people.

    And the problem gets compounded if you're not going to be in a position to immediately open a new account in a local bank where you can deposit the UK pounds you'll be earning, forcing you to 'stash cash' instead. Thus I'd try to avoid being too specific regarding your 'occupation'.
    My suggestion to avoid this is to get a locking filing cabinet and then put an external lock with combination on it, and inside the filing cabinet put a combination lock box. Or get a suitcase and put a lock box inside it with the cash, and put a combination lock on the suitcase. High quality materials obviously. It will be obvious as hell if someone breaks into one of those or takes one of them if you keep them in plain view.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    ^^^ there are actually two schools of thought in this regard. Your point relies on the physical security of the hardware being enough to prevent a burglary. The other point follows that purchasing and installing physical security also sends a clear message that it contains something worth protecting. And if the person is going to be out of the apartment for several hours at a time per a somewhat predictable schedule, that physical security can be easily overcome during that time period. The untrustworthy roommates could actually commit the robbery while she's out 'working', smash a window from the outside, report the burglary to LE 'claiming they were also out of the apartment and returned to find the burglary', and get off 'scot free' with the money !!! Physical security only really works when it can be 'professional' level and can be installed permanently ( i.e. holes in walls, bolts through floors ) ... which is never the case where an apartment is concerned.

    The other point follows that large amounts of cash should not be 'advertised' by physical security ... with that cash being better protected by 'stealth' ( i.e. the famous hollow hair spray can etc. ).

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    My suggestion to avoid this is to get a locking filing cabinet and then put an external lock with combination on it, and inside the filing cabinet put a combination lock box. Or get a suitcase and put a lock box inside it with the cash, and put a combination lock on the suitcase. High quality materials obviously. It will be obvious as hell if someone breaks into one of those or takes one of them if you keep them in plain view.
    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    ^^^ there are actually two schools of thought in this regard. Your point relies on the physical security of the hardware being enough to prevent a burglary. The other point follows that purchasing and installing physical security also sends a clear message that it contains something worth protecting. And if the person is going to be out of the apartment for several hours at a time per a somewhat predictable schedule, that physical security can be easily overcome during that time period. The untrustworthy roommates could actually commit the robbery while she's out 'working', smash a window from the outside, report the burglary to LE 'claiming they were also out of the apartment and returned to find the burglary', and get off 'scot free' with the money !!! Physical security only really works when it can be 'professional' level and can be installed permanently ( i.e. holes in walls, bolts through floors ) ... which is never the case where an apartment is concerned.

    The other point follows that large amounts of cash should not be 'advertised' by physical security ... with that cash being better protected by 'stealth' ( i.e. the famous hollow hair spray can etc. ).
    I have to echo Melonie on this one. Lock boxes are notoriously easy to break into, with any effort, and little in the way of technology. The hollow hair spray can is a much better idea (or the like). We have a safe that's bolted down - anything short of that, the would-be thief can either take with them (filing cabinets likewise can be broken into quite easily), or disable at the scene.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    I tell them that I waitress at a stripclub (that's also what I tell the new people I meet when they ask me what type of work I do). In my experience, they rarely ask for the exact location. When they do, I tell them that I prefer not to mix my work and personal life, they're usually cool with that...

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    What is the price range in London in USD for a room? Is it more than prime LA/SF/NYC?

    I've always been upfront with my roommates about what I do. The one time I wasn't, and I told her I was a babysitter (I thought she was conservative), she totally knew I was lying and I ended up telling her the truth a couple months later.
    Probably around $1000-1500 per month for somewhere. Studio apartments in average areas start at around $1500.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    What is the price range in London in USD for a room? Is it more than prime LA/SF/NYC?

    I've always been upfront with my roommates about what I do. The one time I wasn't, and I told her I was a babysitter (I thought she was conservative), she totally knew I was lying and I ended up telling her the truth a couple months later.
    Probably around $1000-1500 per month for somewhere nice. Studio apartments in average areas start at around $1500.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Well, my rent for a studio for one month is $2500 so I would say yes it is more expensive than LA. I am trying to rent a room somewhere for about half that though which is why I don't want to waste money staying there too long. I am still learning London geography and when I rented that room I was just really comfortable with the agency, but apparently I picked one of the most expensive areas of London to rent a studio in awesome.

    I'm very spoiled right now with where I live, I live with my brother in a gated community so I never worry about storing my money in my room. But I have had money stolen from me before when I had roommates. About five years ago I had only been dancing for 4 months and was renting a room in a fellow dancer's house and another DJ at my club was staying there. She wanted to rent the room out to a couple who would pay more so told me to be out. I was moving into my first apartment and I had stuffed the cash between the mattress and box spring. The woman who owned the house got into a huge fight with the DJ and told him to get out. He owned the mattress so he stormed into my room when I was working and took it back, found the cash and stole half of it... around $1000. I had literally saved up JUST enough to pay deposit and first months rent of the apartment and needed it the next day so I was fucked. I had just started seeing my best regular and I ended up calling him and he came in to see me that night and gave me enough to move in, so it worked out, but there was definitely a few hours where I thought I might end up homeless for a bit! I've never been so mad at someone as I was at him! So not looking forward to having to worry about that again

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Which is the area your moving to?

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Quote Originally Posted by britchick85 View Post
    Probably around $1000-1500 per month for somewhere. Studio apartments in average areas start at around $1500.
    That's actually less than I thought. I've had my eye on London for the future, but I would prob need a visa. I guess I could do a school program there or something.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    I personally think the best way to keep people from stealing from you is make sure they're scared of you. If you're not intimidating enough then make sure they think you're crazy. People are scared of crazy people My security system is a metal baseball bat and the clever dispersing of crazy work stories over the first couple weeks of any new tenancy so my roomates know not to fuck with me. They probably think I'm completely nuts but not a shit do I give. Never had a problem getting cash stolen but I don't keep more than a few hundred around at the time.
    Is there no way you can set up a bank account in the UK over the phone while in the US? Or maybe you can deposit it to your credit card? I do not like the idea of a young girl alone in a new country with no where to stash her cash...
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    ^^^ there are actually two schools of thought in this regard. Your point relies on the physical security of the hardware being enough to prevent a burglary. The other point follows that purchasing and installing physical security also sends a clear message that it contains something worth protecting. And if the person is going to be out of the apartment for several hours at a time per a somewhat predictable schedule, that physical security can be easily overcome during that time period. The untrustworthy roommates could actually commit the robbery while she's out 'working', smash a window from the outside, report the burglary to LE 'claiming they were also out of the apartment and returned to find the burglary', and get off 'scot free' with the money !!! Physical security only really works when it can be 'professional' level and can be installed permanently ( i.e. holes in walls, bolts through floors ) ... which is never the case where an apartment is concerned.

    The other point follows that large amounts of cash should not be 'advertised' by physical security ... with that cash being better protected by 'stealth' ( i.e. the famous hollow hair spray can etc. ).
    I mean, anyone could break into anything though. Even a safe bolted to the ground. But with enough levels of security (in this case, THREE locks and a mixture of combination and key), I am assuming the person would give up. I mean if they were THAT determined to take your money, they could break into your room while youre sleeping and steal your credit and debit cards and return them before you wake up.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Quote Originally Posted by britchick85 View Post
    Which is the area your moving to?
    Belsize Park is where I'm renting a vacation rental when I first get there. And it's the TINIEST fucking studio I've ever seen. I had a studio in Hollywood that was twice the size of this one and only cost $1200 a month.

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    Default Re: telling your roommates what you do for work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Odette View Post
    I personally think the best way to keep people from stealing from you is make sure they're scared of you. If you're not intimidating enough then make sure they think you're crazy. People are scared of crazy people My security system is a metal baseball bat and the clever dispersing of crazy work stories over the first couple weeks of any new tenancy so my roomates know not to fuck with me. They probably think I'm completely nuts but not a shit do I give. Never had a problem getting cash stolen but I don't keep more than a few hundred around at the time.
    Is there no way you can set up a bank account in the UK over the phone while in the US? Or maybe you can deposit it to your credit card? I do not like the idea of a young girl alone in a new country with no where to stash her cash...

    lol

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