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Thread: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

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    Default Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...uldn-t-be.html

    I didn't search to see if it has already been posted. sorry if it's a dup. A must read, anyhow.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    It wasn't a dup, but it links to the same XOJANE site as this post ... https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...orn-star-story
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    It's important to keep in mind that many lap dancers, the majority based on my personal experience, feel the same revulsion as most non-dancers feel at the thought of performing in x-rated porn. They may support the woman in the article having the right to make her own choices, without being stigmatized, but they wouldn't "identify" with her.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Takes a special kind of mentality to be this open.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by ytqclys View Post
    It's important to keep in mind that many lap dancers, the majority based on my personal experience, feel the same revulsion as most non-dancers feel at the thought of performing in x-rated porn. They may support the woman in the article having the right to make her own choices, without being stigmatized, but they wouldn't "identify" with her.
    Would I do her job? Hell no I wouldn't, b/c I abhor strangers & even more so being touched by them. But I do identify w/ this girl b/c she is marginalised just as I am for being a dancer. We are both sex workers, & regardless of our actual job descriptions we are filed under the same heading of 'dirty slut/addict/bad upbringing/insert-other-shame-inducing-dogma-here by the mainstream.

    I identify w/ her fear for her safety (ever been told by a cop that most local cops don't think it's possible to rape a stripper?) & for future employment prospects if the wrong ppl find out, & w/ the frustration of my family's negative judgment b/c they happily buy into that mainstream belief. I also identify w/ the pleasure of performing & the satisfaction of bringing home a solid amt of $$ for that performance.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post

    I identify w/ her fear for her safety (ever been told by a cop that most local cops don't think it's possible to rape a stripper?)
    ok this makes me incredibly sick to my stomach and angry at the same time. its one of my fears too, i mean most rape cases are questioned and the girls are made to feel that they deserved it, but throw stripper into the mix and i would be screwed if that ever happened to me. its disgusting

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    SMDH at the part where it's more socially acceptable to drive drunk and kill someone than it is to do porn.

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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    I love reading the comments calling her ugly and a buttface... The gal has a tight body, can deep throat, and is most likely better than anything they will ever get. She is small and damn cute! Only reason I wouldn't be with her is because she is a porn star and just too many partners.
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    ^^^ "only reason you wouldn't be with her" huh?

    I hate it when people like to pontificate about why they wouldn't have sex with a sex worker, as if someone doing sex work is an automatic potential sexual partner. It's a job, and since you're not in porn, your comment is totally irrelevant and illogical (and ignorant). If this were an article about a barista or a lawyer or a doctor or a grocery store employee, would you feel the same need to share your personal reasons for not wanting to fuck them? (hint: if you answer yes, then you're a pig; if you answer no, congratulations you've comprehended my point so stop objectifying sex workers)


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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Then I guess I'm a pig for being honest. She is damn cute and I have zero problems with her doing porn. My objections come from the amount of partners she has had or potentially will have and that is a personal protection choice. I do not want to have sex with a porn star. I don't care if she always used a condom (Clearly NOT the case), was on the pill, only did lesbian scenes, and took all the precautions possible, I personally would not sleep with her. I will never go to a brothel, never pay an escort, etc. But at no point did I ever say she needs to stop or call her a whore now did I? If you want to be a sex worker than be a sex worker! I don't care if they legalized prostitution in all 50 states, I chose NOT to be in a sexual relationship with that person if it ever came up, that's all.

    Hate away all you want, misguided as you may be. I support her choices in life and would not take that away from her.
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by deni.dee View Post
    ^^^ "only reason you wouldn't be with her" huh? I hate it when people like to pontificate about why they wouldn't have sex with a sex worker, as if someone doing sex work is an automatic potential sexual partner. It's a job, and since you're not in porn, your comment is totally irrelevant and illogical (and ignorant).
    I dunno, I can't think of a better place to express a relatively harmless (even somewhat complimentary) opinion on a hypothetical regarding a now public figure working in a segment of the sex industry than in the "off topic discussions" section of this site. I don't happen to share Bone's opinion on the matter but I don't see anything judgmental about it either.

    Quote Originally Posted by deni.dee View Post
    If this were an article about a barista or a lawyer or a doctor or a grocery store employee, would you feel the same need to share your personal reasons for not wanting to fuck them? (hint: if you answer yes, then you're a pig; if you answer no, congratulations you've comprehended my point so stop objectifying sex workers)
    The article is about a college student who is working in porn and the porn component is what we are talking about here. Bone didn't say that he wouldn't sleep with college coeds.
    If the article was about a grocery store clerk, a doctor or a lawyer who was also doing porn the same relevance would apply based on that person's work in porn.
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    Then I guess I'm a pig for being honest.
    No, what would make you a pig is looking at any woman in any occupation as an potential sex partner first rather than a person. Your honestly just means that your sexism is visible to those with whom you share your opinions.

    The point of my comment is that by focusing on her as a sex partner regardless of the fact that you have never met her or spoken to her, you are objectifying her, you are projecting your sexual judgement on her regardless of any invitation to do so by anyone commenting her or by the woman herself. You use her career in porn as an excuse to do that. Again, you are not in porn. You would not be in a position to have sex with her. Your comment about you wanting to or not is totally irrelevant. You do this in a conversation that's about a positive article that manages to see her as a person, rather than just a sexy plaything. That's why your comment is annoying.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I dunno, I can't think of a better place to express a relatively harmless (even somewhat complimentary) opinion on a hypothetical regarding a now public figure working in a segment of the sex industry than in the "off topic discussions" section of this site. I don't happen to share Bone's opinion on the matter but I don't see anything judgmental about it either.
    It also so happens I can't think of a better place to call out casual sexism against sex workers than a thread specifically about representations of sex workers in the media.

    It is your opinion that it is relatively harmless and that there is nothing judgmental about it. I disagree. I've explained why. You're free to do so too, but please don't act like I was trying to take away Bone's voice or silence him. I didn't call on you to delete his comment after all. He's welcome to be honest about his sexism as much as he likes here, though it doesn't make it a logical or happy place to discuss positive articles about sex workers.

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    The article is about a college student who is working in porn and the porn component is what we are talking about here. Bone didn't say that he wouldn't sleep with college coeds.
    If the article was about a grocery store clerk, a doctor or a lawyer who was also doing porn the same relevance would apply based on that person's work in porn.
    My point is that doing porn doesn't mean your a potential sex partner to every many ever, and shouldn't open you up to their judgement. Also, Bone's point isn't that he wouldn't do porn because he'd have to have sex with too many people that have had lots of sexual partners. His point is he wouldn't date or have sex with Lauren* if he met her. I call that sex worker negativity (for the reasons stated) and I stand by my right to express my opinion, especially on a board about how sex workers usually don't get their voices heard when media talks about them.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by deni.dee View Post
    No, what would make you a pig is looking at any woman in any occupation as an potential sex partner first rather than a person. Your honestly just means that your sexism is visible to those with whom you share your opinions.

    The point of my comment is that by focusing on her as a sex partner regardless of the fact that you have never met her or spoken to her, you are objectifying her, you are projecting your sexual judgement on her regardless of any invitation to do so by anyone commenting her or by the woman herself. You use her career in porn as an excuse to do that. Again, you are not in porn. You would not be in a position to have sex with her. Your comment about you wanting to or not is totally irrelevant. You do this in a conversation that's about a positive article that manages to see her as a person, rather than just a sexy plaything. That's why your comment is annoying.

    Men who say this always have little dicks are afraid of being laughed at since he knows for sure his little weeny will never measure up to a porn stud.

    Thing about porn stars, they don't OWE anyone sex. It isn't in any contract that porn stars must fuck everyone who ask or is interested. This is still a free country & she is free to fuck or not fuck anyone she wants or attend college.

    Still is slut shaming, as if females should never have sex or enjoy it unless she is married. BONE jerk your dick to her porn all you want... Don't assume she would ever want to fuck you in REAL life so you could turn her down. STOP being delusional.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by deni.dee View Post
    It is your opinion that it is relatively harmless and that there is nothing judgmental about it. I disagree. I've explained why. You're free to do so too, but please don't act like I was trying to take away Bone's voice or silence him. I didn't call on you to delete his comment after all. He's welcome to be honest about his sexism as much as he likes here, though it doesn't make it a logical or happy place to discuss positive articles about sex workers.
    I'm not accusing you of trying to take anything away from Bone. Simply defending his right to post what he posted here in this section-even though I don't share his opinion. By the way, I'm not the mod of this section so I wouldn't be taking anything down even if you asked me to.
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    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Geez, this discussion went off-the-rails in a hurry. :\

    I do think she's a brave woman to speak out and come forward, but hopelessly outmatched in what would be a conservative part of the US. I hope she can either complete her degree, whether it's at Duke or somewhere else, and can move forward. I wish her well, but I suspect it will have to be somewhere with a lot more progressive views on sexuality, and less puritanical in its beliefs (and yes, very hypocritically so, since no doubt casual, anonymous sex and scoring with single women is the #1 non-academic goal of most college guys).

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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Men who say this always have little dicks are afraid of being laughed at since he knows for sure his little weeny will never measure up to a porn stud.

    Thing about porn stars, they don't OWE anyone sex. It isn't in any contract that porn stars must fuck everyone who ask or is interested. This is still a free country & she is free to fuck or not fuck anyone she wants or attend college.

    Still is slut shaming, as if females should never have sex or enjoy it unless she is married. BONE jerk your dick to her porn all you want... Don't assume she would ever want to fuck you in REAL life so you could turn her down. STOP being delusional.

    Sam
    Wow... that has to be the most ignorant comments I've seen on here in a while. Responses like yours only feed the negative stereotypes which you so desperately want to fight against. Instead of being an insult to me it makes you look like a fool.

    I've been in the sex worker industry. I paid my way through college by being a bouncer at a few strip clubs and driver/body guard for escorts and private functions. Loved working with the ladies, fun group to be around, and one of the influences of my choices.

    And she is a porn star... jerking my dick watching her is kind of the point.

    Quote Originally Posted by gocanucks View Post
    Geez, this discussion went off-the-rails in a hurry. :\
    I wouldn't say this discussion is off the rails at all. It rather hits the point of it all home. If a woman decides to be a sex worker, does that make her an object of sexual desire? Yes. Should she be shamed and ridiculed for it? No and talking about it here is just an extension of the conversation.
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniela View Post
    ... I do identify w/ this girl b/c she is marginalised just as I am for being a dancer. We are both sex workers, & regardless of our actual job descriptions we are filed under the same heading of 'dirty slut/addict/bad upbringing/insert-other-shame-inducing-dogma-here by the mainstream. ...
    I identify with her in the sense that I also value my freedom to do anything that does not pose a clear and present danger to anyone else.

    I'm only saying, I've met many dancers who feel it's arbitrary for non-dancers to tell them they lack self-respect, yet don't feel it's arbitrary to say that sex workers who do not maintain the privacy of their thong-covered areas do lack self-respect (or are sluts or are whores). I think the OP risks spoiling the mood if he voices his opinion in the club.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    Then I guess I'm a pig for being honest. She is damn cute and I have zero problems with her doing porn. My objections come from the amount of partners she has had or potentially will have and that is a personal protection choice. I do not want to have sex with a porn star. I don't care if she always used a condom (Clearly NOT the case), was on the pill, only did lesbian scenes, and took all the precautions possible, I personally would not sleep with her. I will never go to a brothel, never pay an escort, etc. But at no point did I ever say she needs to stop or call her a whore now did I? If you want to be a sex worker than be a sex worker! I don't care if they legalized prostitution in all 50 states, I chose NOT to be in a sexual relationship with that person if it ever came up, that's all.

    Hate away all you want, misguided as you may be. I support her choices in life and would not take that away from her.
    Excuse me but just because she is a porn star does not mean she is everyone's plaything. You work in the sex industry as a bouncer/ bodyguard yet you want to downgrade this girl because what she decides to do with her life. I can only imagine how good of a bodyguard you were to the ladies when you kept thinking of them as sex toys for your perverted pleasure.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    Excuse me but just because she is a porn star does not mean she is everyone's plaything. You work in the sex industry as a bouncer/ bodyguard yet you want to downgrade this girl because what she decides to do with her life. I can only imagine how good of a bodyguard you were to the ladies when you kept thinking of them as sex toys for your perverted pleasure.
    She is doing hard core porn, that is kind of the point. Being an object of sexual desire. What you seem to be missing in your desire to rage against men is that I also support her choice and feel she shouldn't need to be outed for doing what she does. Sex Workers are fine in my book, they are a fun fantasy and that is what gets them their money. If you are going to get pissed off about guys having sexual thoughts about you or other women don't get involved in the business! It is the equiv of a person sucking down McDonalds 3 times a day, then complaining when their health goes to hell.
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    She is doing hard core porn, that is kind of the point. Being an object of sexual desire. What you seem to be missing in your desire to rage against men is that I also support her choice and feel she shouldn't need to be outed for doing what she does. Sex Workers are fine in my book, they are a fun fantasy and that is what gets them their money. If you are going to get pissed off about guys having sexual thoughts about you or other women don't get involved in the business! It is the equiv of a person sucking down McDonalds 3 times a day, then complaining when their health goes to hell.
    LOL...that was one of the best comments from a man on SW. I never said that having sexual desires are bad or you wanting a woman bad. Frankly, that is very low-rent statement about me being a sex worker if you ask me because I enjoy being a sex worker and I enjoy money. Also I am not against men...far from it because I am about men's rights as well. But it is not my fault if you feel like a strong woman who enjoys her sexuality and men's desires to fill my wallet is anti-men. I am sorry that I am about my money and you lack the skills to make a real living as a man. Who the fuck are you tell anyone what they can or can not do in this industry? My statement was going to address your sexist statements about this woman being a sexual object then pretending you are enlightened.That is like a neo-nazi hating black people then ending up marrying one.

    In addition, I really question why you want to be on this forum when you make these types of statements:

    Then I guess I'm a pig for being honest. She is damn cute and I have zero problems with her doing porn.

    And she is a porn star... jerking my dick watching her is kind of the point.

    I love reading the comments calling her ugly and a buttface... The gal has a tight body, can deep throat, and is most likely better than anything they will ever get. She is small and damn cute! Only reason I wouldn't be with her is because she is a porn star and just too many partners.



    I really believe that either you are on here to judge sex workers or you are just a troll trying to get your jollies on SW. I really do not understand men like you who want to come on this site and then make sexist statements. However,then when people address your behavior....you cry like a insecure man. But you can come on here and say what you want to say. It is a free country By the way, honey, I never get pissed about men having sexual fantasies about me as long as men do not get pissed if I dream about spending all of their money and draining their pockets. But these are quite harmless fantasies and I enjoy the company of men. However, do you really enjoy the company of women? Or do they just serve your sexual desires as a man?
    Last edited by DonaDiabla; 02-26-2014 at 11:43 PM.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    She is doing hard core porn, that is kind of the point. Being an object of sexual desire. What you seem to be missing in your desire to rage against men is that I also support her choice and feel she shouldn't need to be outed for doing what she does. Sex Workers are fine in my book, they are a fun fantasy and that is what gets them their money. If you are going to get pissed off about guys having sexual thoughts about you or other women don't get involved in the business! It is the equiv of a person sucking down McDonalds 3 times a day, then complaining when their health goes to hell.
    What I found offencive in your previous post Bone, was that from one side of your mouth you are talking like Lauren*s profession does not bother you, but out the other side of your mouth it sounds like you are calling her (physically) damaged goods b/c she has had so many sex partners, & therefore she is inherently not desirable. The other girls can feel free to me if I am wrong in my assumption but I think that may at least partly be what's got them fired up. However much you claim to be ok w/ what Lauren* or any1 else like her does for a living, you still come across as tying their overall worth to what they do w/ their sexuality.

    I would imagine that escorts & porn stars face the same 'Do I or don't I?' question that dancers do when it comes to disclosing their occupation w/ others, esp prospective partners. Your McDs analogy really does not fit in this situation b/c being 'in the business' we all get that men have sexual thoughts abt women. It's mostly your attitude abt women 'in the business' that is the problem.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bone View Post
    Then I guess I'm a pig for being honest. She is damn cute and I have zero problems with her doing porn. My objections come from the amount of partners she has had or potentially will have and that is a personal protection choice. I do not want to have sex with a porn star. I don't care if she always used a condom (Clearly NOT the case), was on the pill, only did lesbian scenes, and took all the precautions possible, I personally would not sleep with her. I will never go to a brothel, never pay an escort, etc. But at no point did I ever say she needs to stop or call her a whore now did I? If you want to be a sex worker than be a sex worker! I don't care if they legalized prostitution in all 50 states, I chose NOT to be in a sexual relationship with that person if it ever came up, that's all.

    Hate away all you want, misguided as you may be. I support her choices in life and would not take that away from her.
    I think maybe deni's point is that you give the impression that it's like a sure thing you could fuck her if you wanted to, because she does porn. Strippers are generally pretty tired of guys thinking they are nymphos and/or hookers. They think it would make more sense for you to ask your dental hygienist for that $50 blowjob, since she is not even half as good-looking, so your chances are better.

    When you prompt a dancer on here to say something she has to bite her tongue 10 times a shift to NOT say in the club, yes, she will reem you a new one. That's probably the main reason we blues are allowed on stripperweb, to serve that theraputic function. If you paypal her the price of a few dances, she might feel motivated to forgo the reeming.

    And with all due respect to your sophisticated scientific methods for determining how may partners anyone's had, just wear a condom dude.

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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by ytqclys View Post
    I think maybe deni's point is that you give the impression that it's like a sure thing you could fuck her if you wanted to, because she does porn. .
    fucking EXACTLY! but although this does pertain to women in the sex industry, i hear men saying that about women in general. "oh i'd fuck her" " oh hell naw, i wouldn't fuck that with YOUR dick bro!!" its nauseating, really. if the woman in question never offered to fuck you, what are you even going on about it for? it just reeks of being an entitled douche, that you think that you can have your pick or think that you might even have a chance with half the women you say that about ( just "you" in the general sense, not personally)

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    Senior Member Bone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Finally, a positive article about sex work (porn)

    Quote Originally Posted by DonaDiabla View Post
    I really believe that either you are on here to judge sex workers or you are just a troll trying to get your jollies on SW. I really do not understand men like you who want to come on this site and then make sexist statements. However,then when people address your behavior....you cry like a insecure man. But you can come on here and say what you want to say. It is a free country By the way, honey, I never get pissed about men having sexual fantasies about me as long as men do not get pissed if I dream about spending all of their money and draining their pockets. But these are quite harmless fantasies and I enjoy the company of men. However, do you really enjoy the company of women? Or do they just serve your sexual desires as a man?
    I'm here because someone was linking pictures on some threads here and I decided to stay. It is an interesting place and I enjoy the discussions on stripping/camming/etc. It is fun and interesting to see the other side of the coin you could say. I'm not intentionally trolling anyone, just speaking my mind on an issue that came up. I get why they don't allow us guys to post on a good chunk of the forum as well.

    And I very much enjoy the company of women. Different take on life in many cases, great educators on life, and just fun to be around in the end. And there are a few the fulfill my desires, just like I do theirs.

    If I had left out the "I wouldn't sleep with her line" what is your take on the rest of what I had said? That seems to be the genesis for this.
    -It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others!
    -It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black!
    -The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures!

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