View Poll Results: Would you date someone with an STD

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  • I am a WOMAN. Yes

    18 32.14%
  • I am a WOMAN. No

    35 62.50%
  • I am a MAN. Yes

    2 3.57%
  • I am a MAN. No

    1 1.79%
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Thread: Would you date someone with an STD?

  1. #26
    Veteran Member Sabihah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlamourRouge View Post
    Anyone could lie to you or not know themselves. Routine STD tests only check for like HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea and there are dozens more out there. Most people don't even realize a standard test only tests for like 3.
    THIS. I was shocked when I found out in my teens that standard panels don't cover herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2 are the two categories of strains; HSV-1 is usually oral and HSV-2 is usually genital). More than half of Americans have HSV-1 and >16% (about 1 in 6) have HSV-2. Most of them don't have symptoms and don't know they're infected, but if they pass it to YOU there's no guarantee that you won't have symptoms.

    Like most Americans, I have HSV-1 (though I've never had a cold sore), but I still get tested for HSV-2 every time I get a panel done. I've had to lie and say that I thought I'd been exposed; otherwise, PP wouldn't do the testing. That's thanks to the CDC, which actually recommends NOT doing routine herpes testing:

    "It is not clear that the identification of persons with HSV infection would decrease the spread of HSV in the population. There is no evidence that detection of HSV infection through testing of persons with no symptoms suggestive of herpes leads to a change their sexual behavior. Because the tests can be expensive and the diagnosis may have adverse psychological or effects for some people, widespread testing for HSV is not currently recommended."

    Well, the CDC can shove that where the sun doesn't shine, 'cause I think the best way to avoid the psychological effects of having herpes is not getting herpes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Snowy0Star View Post
    yup ever had a canker sore in ur mouth? thats a strain of the herpes virus ...

    ive gotten them before
    That's actually not quite correct - canker sores are totally unrelated to herpes. Cold sores are caused by the herpes virus; they're the ones that tend to show up on your lips or around the outside of your mouth. But most people with HSV-1 (again, that's the majority of Americans and the majority of people worldwide) don't have any symptoms at all.

    EDIT: A few more fun herpes facts:

    HSV-1 is usually oral and HSV-2 is usually genital, but if someone with oral herpes gives oral sex to someone without it, there's a very small chance that the receiver will get a genital infection. Likewise, giving oral sex to someone with genital herpes can (rarely) result in an oral infection.

    You can get HSV-1 (or oral HSV-2) by kissing - in fact, that's usually how it spreads. That's why most of us have it.

    Condoms only reduce the risk of genital herpes transmission by ~30%. This is pretty awful news, since most people never get tested for it (and think they have been tested, since they assume it's on the standard panel). If you really, really don't want to get herpes, you basically need to make your partner get tested.
    Last edited by Sabihah; 03-05-2014 at 01:10 AM.






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  3. #27
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    I got my first fever blisters when I was around and maybe tmi but when I have any kind of bowel dysfunction I tend to always get the fever blister type sores. I get cold sores which are different on my lips than fever blisters (imo) and I got my first actual cold sore at 13 right around the time I had a few first kissing sessions. It is crazy that there is no cure yet it has been here so long.

  4. #28
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    Only if she loved to do blow-jobs and was very good at it. And I wanted only blow jobs too. If I wanted her long-term, I'd buy her a Sybian; I love to watch those videos and would probably cum on her while she was orgasming on it. At least it sound like fun now.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  5. #29
    Featured Member HaydenBlue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    Quote Originally Posted by threlayer View Post
    Only if she loved to do blow-jobs and was very good at it. And I wanted only blow jobs too. If I wanted her long-term, I'd buy her a Sybian; I love to watch those videos and would probably cum on her while she was orgasming on it. At least it sound like fun now.
    So you'd "date" someone but not touch them, unless they were doing what you wanted? Did I read that right? Gross.







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  7. #30
    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    Don't they have sites for people with STDs now? I mean they can just join on of those sites and find someone with the same virus. Now if we're talking about curable STDS the majority of people will usually not have an issue once it's all cleared up. Something that we don't have a cure for? Most will say no. HSV 1, 2 HPV, Hep C, HIV, AIDS are the no way ones. HSV 1 is fairly common and most catch it from their parents kissing them on the mouth or during the time they start kissing other people usually during youth. HSV2 seems to come about during sex activity oral, anal, vaginal. Also HSV1 can show up in the genital regions by being spread from kissing to oral ( mouth to ass, vagina, penis) . Then of course HSV2 shows up typically on the genitals. Hep C seems to be rare but does spread. I find this one to be the least common. HIV can= AIDS when CD4 cells fall below 200. So yeah that's nasty stuff. Strange thing I'm not really worried about being around a person with HIV as in my own safety but I'm more so worried about killing them by mistake. With their system being fragile the common flu could affect their system so bad that it could kill them. Personally I wouldn't want to be responsible for shortening the years of life they have left.

    So the answer is no. It's not even something I have to worry about right now as I don't do casual sex anyways. Still the thought about this has crossed my mind since it appears the STDs being passed around are getting out of hand. There's even stuff that used to be cured with ease that has mutated to the point that it's resistant to antibiotics. Personally the free sex carefree fun of our current decade will have to pass me right on by. I'll see who's left in 2020 or something like that lol.

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  9. #31
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    There is no test for high risk (possibly cancer causing) HPV for men; men can only be tested for low risk hpv which causes genital warts. And unfortunately, condoms don't fully protect against HPV, herpes, or syphylis since the viruses live in the skin. For women, hpv is normally only tested for if you have genital warts or if you have an abnormal Pap smear.

    It's unfortunate that there's no test for high risk hpv in men, so you can never really be totally sure that he doesn't have it unless he's a virgin.

    To all the ladies, make sure you go for regular Pap smears so that if anything is abnormal, they can catch the HPV early and there are treatments to stop the cells from progressing to cancer. Most of the time hpv clears on it's own after a year or two, though.

  10. #32
    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    I have. I was diagnosed with chlamydia at one point in my life and I didn't catch it from a bad batch of seafood, LOL! I was married when I was diagnosed, and my (now ex) husband accused me of cheating on him. Neither of us were virgins when we met, but I had abstained from sex/dating for over a year before I met him. That makes him the likely source of the disease. Neither of us presented obvious symptoms so it is impossible to say who gave it to whom.

    Sometimes people just don't know when they are carrying a disease. If someone knowingly has a disease, they should share this information with any potential partner. I can't imagine how hard that conversation would be with someone you are dating and want to take the relationship to the next level. That has got to be one of the most anxiety-causing conversations for a budding relationship that I can imagine.

  11. #33
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    Many people also get the HSV1 virus from adults kissing them as kids.

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  13. #34
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    So you'd "date" someone but not touch them, unless they were doing what you wanted? Did I read that right? Gross.
    Oh, I would find safe ways to touch her. But in the long term, the risks become greater as people tend to relax the rules and precautions become more lax. I always enjoy a woman having sexual fun and would never deny that in a pleasurable way.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  14. #35
    God/dess SweetJulia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    It honestly depends on their attitude towards whatever they had. If it was something curable and they were in the process of curing it, I'd stick around and not do anything sexually until they were ok. If they were just lax with protection and saw it as no big deal, there's no way I could keep from panicking. Sidenote: It amazes me how many people say they don't have anything but haven't been tested. They just claim they "know their bodies"-despite the fact that so many STDs that (usually) produce terrible symptoms in women can be symptomless in men. I can't decide if that's sad, scary, or both.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

  15. #36
    Veteran Member Sabihah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    They just claim they "know their bodies"-despite the fact that so many STDs that (usually) produce terrible symptoms in women can be symptomless in men. I can't decide if that's sad, scary, or both.
    I'd go with sad, scary, and stupid. The trifecta.

    For what it's worth, a lot of women experience no symptoms with the common curables as well. Half of women with gonorrhea experience no noticeable symptoms, and most people - male or female - don't notice any symptoms of chlamydia. And both, if untreated, can eventually lead to pelvic inflammatory disease. If that doesn't get treated quickly, the long-term symptoms include: formation of internal scar tissue, ectopic pregnancy (which absolutely requires an abortion if miscarriage doesn't occur), infertility, and chronic pain. Anyone who thinks they don't need to ever get tested because they "know [their] body" is a fool.

    I had a similar experience to Tourdefranzia's. Boyfriend gave me chlamydia (he was cheating on me, though I only found out years later through a mutual friend) and tried to convince me that I'd given it to him. I was getting tested like clockwork every year, and he told me he had been tested regularly as well. Turns out he was lying about that, too - which I discovered when he handed me his medical file so he could sign consent forms for a procedure to remove all the scar tissue that had built up in his penis as the result of his untreated chlamydia. I flipped through his files - I figured he'd stop me if he minded, since he was sitting right next to me - and sure enough, his last (and only) test had been nearly three years prior. That was the final straw. I left him to deal with his new $20k medical debt on his own. If I hadn't been getting tested, a few years down the line he quite possibly would have put me in the same boat. Gamble with your own health all you like, but as soon as you lie to me in a way that gambles with mine, it's OVER.

    If you're sexually active, get tested. Do it. People can and will lie to you, and avoiding an annual fee of $xx-$xxx is simply not worth the risk of an $xx,xxx medical debt, long-term pain or infertility, or passing those costs on to someone you love.






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  17. #37
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    When I was still dancing, I got stuck sitting with this moron-cuz it was dead and he was buying drinks so the manager made me-he was at least 60, called me uptight because I turned down his offer to stop by his hotel room later and let him "put it in raw, but pull out on time" and said he had an appointment to get tested the previous month, but cancelled because "it's like $150!". Ever feel like you're losing brain cells just being in someones' presence?
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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  19. #38
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    Default Re: Would you date someone with an STD?

    It's very strange how when a person contracts a bacterial/viral infection of any non-genital part of the body, it's no big deal. As soon as someone has a genital infection, though, it's SHAME and DIRTY and BAD, even if it's very minor (basically every STD except syphilis, AIDS, and hepatitis). Everyone is very proud to have tout "cleanliness" - which is essentially our modern day version of sexual purity - which is truly sad, and I hope we can all move past this in coming generations.
    If it's not going to kill you, it's not something to worry about. The truth is that STD stigma is what causes psychological trauma, not the virus/bacteria itself. Educators and parents use STD's as scare tactics, which generates immense stigma and perpetuates ideas about sex being something that is shameful and secretive.
    Yes, it is important to use preventative measures, but no more so than it is when applied to health in general - don't smoke or do meth, don't rub against someone's staph infection...
    It is ridiculous to view someone who has/had an STD as tainted, less than, or untouchable any more so than it is to treat a person who has a cold or bronchitis the same way. IT IS A GERM. Oh, but if it involves the genitals then it's suddenly highly stigmatized, dirty, and VERY bad, however minor it is. That is an extremely harmful way to think.
    Avoid any virus -sexual or otherwise- that will affect your longevity. But seriously, if it's of no long term consequence......
    There is no reason to take it up the ass and then act all butthurt.
    -Sophia_Starina

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