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Thread: Domme+Cam=WTF?

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    Senior Member TashaToday's Avatar
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    Default Domme+Cam=WTF?

    In the last week, I decided to take the plunge into online domination. Let me start off by saying that this is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. It's what resonates within me. I haven't been blown away by any of the local dungeons and I can't afford to have my own spot to run as a business, so.. internet, here I cam!

    Whoa, is this a beast of a different color. The first few who approached me immediately turned tail. As soon as I ask, 'how can you best serve Me/ what are your interests/limits?' they called me a fake and logged out. Wow, I hadn't had anyone ever question my position so that was a little annoying... okay, a lot. But then I got someone who seemed to totally dig my vibe. Good stuff! But then.. nothing..

    I love it, I really do, but I have bills to pay and I have a service to provide. So how do I get these men to pay? And how do I not get absolutely drained after a few hours? I am a dancer, I dominate in the club and outside, but trying my hand at online work is kicking my ass. Frustrating! But I'm not giving up. Maybe I'm hanging out in the wrong places? Maybe I'm going about it the wrong way? Or maybe this is just how it is and it's a fuckin' pain in the butt.. I dunno. Ladies, please, give me some insight here because I'm lost.

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    Senior Member Bubblegum1235's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Iīm not into domme stuff and I donīt what site are you in, but I know in SM there are many time wasters and guys who knows as little as I know about BDSM, they only want a girl telling them "cum, cum, cum now!" and thatīs it. If you are on SM maybe you can try doing domme sessions only in exclusive blocks, so you can be sure the customer is serious about what he wants, and if heīs not, well, you will get paid anyway.
    As far as I know Streamate is fetish friendly and many girls do well there, but maybe other girls here can suggest other sites where you can offer that kind of service as well.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    ^^^ this.......99% of the guys on SM and most other big cam sites just want to be told how to stroke it (as if they don't already know!) That's all I get, some CEI, some SPH a few feet and ass worships..As far as the ones who want to be spanked, tied up and humiliated other ways, you just have to verbally bring it on.


    "If you don't stand for anything, you'll fall for everything"

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    Member Lady Mondegreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Quote Originally Posted by TashaToday View Post
    Whoa, is this a beast of a different color. The first few who approached me immediately turned tail. As soon as I ask, 'how can you best serve Me/ what are your interests/limits?' they called me a fake and logged out.
    This is seriously the most frustrating thing for me, too. It definitely takes some practice. On SM guys often expect you to be a mindreader or something, god forbid you ask about desires and limits like a real dom. I've had good luck assuming that anyone who says they'll do "anything" for me wants to be forced to suck cock or be fucked up the ass, I don't know how universal that one is but I know I'm not the only one. It's kind of trial and error learning how to probe them for what they want without reminding them that it's you doing a service for them.

    Also, there are a lot of freeloaders looking for free dirty talk on SM. Lots of freeloaders. So many freeloaders. Takes practice and experience to weed them out from the guys actually wanting a pvt.

    I've only recently started on KinkLive, and communication before sessions there is much more familiar to me- the clients seem to actually ask for what they want, even if the answer is "I'm not sure I'm new to this" which is useful information too. Good payout percentage, but very low traffic- good either for splitcamming, or to leave on while you're doing something interruptible.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    The thing about cam is that they're paying you to give them what they want. The thing about cam subs is that what many of them want is for you to know what they want without having to tell you.

    Honestly at this point I just ask what they're into. Be prepared for a lot of acronyms. If they're shy just throw out some acronyms of your own and see what sticks. If they pull the stupid "whatever pleases you mistress" shit I start with JOI (pretty safe bet) and feel it out from there. (Side note: Those guys piss me off. You know what would please me? If you left the meter running for a couple of hours while I take a nap.)

    It gets tricky sometimes but you kind of learn to associate certain preferences with other preferences, e.g. sub who talks a lot about frilly underwear --> sissy who wants you to make him dress up in girly shit and heels --> wants you to talk about what a slut he is --> wants you to make him fuck himself in the ass OR have random guys fuck him, make him suck their cocks, etc --> public humiliation --> blackmail --> CBT --> orgasm denial, etc etc. The key is to test the waters and not jump into something they don't like. I'd say SPH, CBT, blackmail/findom and anything they could perceive as gay (whether forced bi or just solo ass play) are the danger zones that will scare off a lot of bb subs so approach with caution.

    Last minute thought: if you're heavily marketing yourself as a domme you're probably attracting a lot of bb subs who are curious but don't have the experience to know what they like. It's a crapshoot with those guys so if you get that vibe I wouldn't take it personally.

    Disclaimer: Not a hardcore domme at all, with subs I take on more of a "curious bratty girl next door" persona than a "whips and chains" persona so YMMV.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    I'd like to know how you are finding these men? What sites are you using? You're probably in the wrong place. Actual subs don't really use sites like mfc, sm, livejasmin.. ect. You might find afew there but they're usually fake or broke.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Quote Originally Posted by kittykrane View Post
    ^^^ this.......99% of the guys on SM and most other big cam sites just want to be told how to stroke it (as if they don't already know!) That's all I get, some CEI, some SPH a few feet and ass worships..As far as the ones who want to be spanked, tied up and humiliated other ways, you just have to verbally bring it on.
    I really don't think this is true. Just most dommes don't know how to sell anything else and they are missing out.

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    Veteran Member whiteheat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    I agree with GlamourRouge.
    plus I feel like the OP is talking about indie?
    Anyway on SM I found them to be both serving subs / slaves as well minute men and CEI quitters. Just like with vanilla custies. You just need to spot them right away to use them at your own advantage.
    Calling them out by exposing their sucky behaviour or kick them out the chat is great to make them know their place (same as vanilla guys) and turn them into a decent behaved and paying sub, but sometimes is not even worth the effort.

    I'm not a super experienced online domme, but I make sure to mention in a catchy -lol- way what I enjoy doing... So who contacts me know to expect, my style etc.
    Subs tend to do the 'trick question' thing to see if you are naive / easy to be manipulated from the bottom / get a free fap / waste your time just because, more than vanilla guys. But I'm sure you know how to cut them off in a sec.

    Personally I prefer verbal and mental domination way more than giving orders on how to self restrain themselves, self inflicting pain etc.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Realize that what you enjoy in your own life will not mean you can earn money off of it on cam.

    I do suggest clips4sale cause those guys love that stuff & the big spenders on it will find you on cam after a while.

    Just like you had a learning curve in the club, you will have one on cam too. Do the regular shows & the guys who want fetish will take you exclusive for a higher price. Eventually build up your fetish customers, but custies come & go.

    You need to learn how to hustle on cam & learn to convert guys from free chat into paid before going full on fetish.



    Good Luck

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    You ladies rise to the occasion! Thanks for all the insight. Yup, whoever called it, I am trying my hand on indie sites. If anyone wants to know where and how my experience has been, PM me. Men online have even more bravado than in the clubs. It was pretty presumptuous of me to expect to turn on the cam and kick ass. It took me a year until I really hit my stride as a dancer. These critters are talking a different language.

    Someone mentioned KinkLive? I get stars in my eyes for that site. Catch- I don't do nude. I know that can be detrimental but that's my position. I should bite the bullet with Streammate. Go big or go home.

    I'm a dumbass for not getting on C4S. There, I said it. Without blowing my own horn, I have a natural knack for storytelling and acting, so even if I didn't make a penny, I would have fun doing the videos. Can I be honest and say I'm a little bummed by the list that they won't allow on their site? I can't even have fake blood? Booo...

    Worth mentioning again- thanks ya'll! Totally helps center me and get me on the right track.

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    Veteran Member Rhiiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    I don't think it's you, I think it's time waster guys. I've had guys call me a "fake sub" because I have no interest in having an IRL master and I don't do freebies in free chat for... well, free. One guy told me to be a good sub and take my bra off. Sorry, you have to tip to roleplay with me like that. A lot of guys will explain a fantasy to you and expect you to chat about their fantasy (or yours) forever and don't tip. I give it a minute or so, and if they don't tip or seem interested in buying a show, I just start ignoring them. They either then 1) get the message and tip or 2) leave.
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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhiiannon View Post
    I don't think it's you, I think it's time waster guys. I've had guys call me a "fake sub" because I have no interest in having an IRL master and I don't do freebies in free chat for... well, free. One guy told me to be a good sub and take my bra off. Sorry, you have to tip to roleplay with me like that. A lot of guys will explain a fantasy to you and expect you to chat about their fantasy (or yours) forever and don't tip. I give it a minute or so, and if they don't tip or seem interested in buying a show, I just start ignoring them. They either then 1) get the message and tip or 2) leave.

    Oh oh let me guess. When you dont do it for free then you are just faking it & not really into like you said you were. How dare you do it for profit? LMAO

    So many are passive/aggressive pricks trying to get over on a girl even if he is a sub. Trying to trick girls into free shows is a game to them. Cause if you were so into it how could you not do it for free.. Your bills & ability to pay them should not cone into the equation....

    Then the money pigs who promise big money & never give a dime.

    Love the guys who say they will do anything for you, but tipping or tributes & gifts never occur to them. Nope they are to busy sticking things up their own ass denying they are secretly gay.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Ive worked in a dungeon, ive done telephone domination and cam domination. The one thing I really had to make was the realization that the guy who will go to a domme in person is not the same guy who will do a session with a cam model. The rules that are learnt and the habits that get formed are 2 different things. If you have ever done CEI at a dungeon and in a cam session whats the difference? Same with a foot fetish, between online and real world, whats the difference?
    Its night and day, you cant go into it with the same real life exceptions because it wont happen, these guys haven't spend time with a mistress in real life to know, they have only had online girls and they have been trained to expect something different. Im not saying 100% of the guys have never spent time with a mistress in real life but honestly the way they speak is not the same as the guys who have never so you will always be able to pick up on that. On a domination site you'll get more guys who have but on a sex site, not likely.
    Most of the online guys just want a soft core show, Ive noticed. The hard core guys will tend to reach out to you before hand.
    I personally dont ask them questions on what they like or how they can serve because they don't know, I just make statements, like make me laugh. Hardcore or soft core is the only thing I actually ask and the session is based on that.
    Cam 2 cam is always a great thing do.
    When it comes to anal training, SPH, they will let you know so dont jump in to something to specific like that on your first session with the guy/guys/girl, whoever
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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Quote Originally Posted by apryll11 View Post
    The one thing I really had to make was the realization that the guy who will go to a domme in person is not the same guy who will do a session with a cam model. The rules that are learnt and the habits that get formed are 2 different things.

    Most of the online guys just want a soft core show, Ive noticed. The hard core guys will tend to reach out to you before hand.
    I definitely agree

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    I am not a Dom by ANY means, but I am certainly not submissive. I am not going to bend over backwards for tokens. Guys are either going to tip me or they are not, but I am NOT begging for them! When a sub comes in and says they want to be my slave, I tell them to get their credit card out, max that fucker out, and give me the tokens. They ALWAYS leave after that. If you're going to be my slave you had better do what I say or you can get the fuck out. I haven't gotten into any Dom stuff and I doubt I'd make much money off of it, but one day I want to do this insane humiliation/findom video and see how it does. I think that's the only kind of thing that I could do, but I am going to have to be in a very bitchy mood to do it.

    I think in VIDEOS that stuff goes over well, but if you're trying to make a living off of it on cam, it's going to a LOT of people trying to rile you up so they can jerk off to whatever you say for free. If they actually had money they wouldn't be mouthing off in the first place, they would book/start a show and do as commanded. Most of them aren't even subs, they just walk around saying they are. Losers.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    All of my real experienced subs are on Niteflirt. I have a hard time with "subs" on big box sites, like streamate. They really don't know what they want, and the ones who claim to know what they want are not even submissive, in my opinion. They confuse me.
    Taking a break from all unproductive shit will prove to be the best choice you can make.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Quote Originally Posted by Procrasturbator View Post
    The thing about cam is that they're paying you to give them what they want. The thing about cam subs is that what many of them want is for you to know what they want without having to tell you.

    Honestly at this point I just ask what they're into. Be prepared for a lot of acronyms. If they're shy just throw out some acronyms of your own and see what sticks. If they pull the stupid "whatever pleases you mistress" shit I start with JOI (pretty safe bet) and feel it out from there. (Side note: Those guys piss me off. You know what would please me? If you left the meter running for a couple of hours while I take a nap.)
    Can't agree more! First of all its the biggest difference with the real life session, on cam you just have to be a mind-reader!
    apryll11 said she was asking them if they want softcore or hardcore session, I try to find out their soft and hard limits before the session, it gives you an understanding first of all of how experienced he is, if he is a newbie, he usuallay has no idea of what his limits are (e.g. "whatever pleases Mistress") and if he isnt, the answers might give you a good hint on what he might be looking for. But I guess most of the guys who want to do "whatever" are not real subs and just want to try something new, the same as (we have to admit it!) most of online "mistresses" who are just looking for new ways of income, without giving it much thought. And that is also part of the problem, cause after those guys have visited some of those "real" mistresses who have no idea of what they are doing, they consider it as a norm and everything that is different goes automatically to "fake".

    The tricky thing that in MOST of the cases (there are exceptions!) online domination is just another service someone can buy. To what extent is it "true" domination and not "topping from the bottom" depends on Mistress I guess and her talents. But it is also the question that often rises in real BDSM world - "when I pay you, is it you who are really in charge or me?" So maybe we shouldnt even compare cam BDSM and real life, its two different worlds.

    P.S. - Im camming on mainstream sites but in Fetish&Dungeon categories, recently discovered KinkLive but dont have an account there yet. Would love your feedback on other sites in this area!

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Online guys like the idea of it, to ponder it. More of they are curious & playing around at it. Like a guy who may find feet sexy & want the cam on your toes & call them losers & such. These guys rely upon visual & verbal cues to get off.

    Guys who go to a real life situation are beyond that point & know what they want. They have done serious research & tried somethings on their own. It is the ONLY way they can get off. Here were a real foot guy gets off on the smell of shoe leather & your feet crushing his face. He could never get off on just looking at feet on cam. Or however that would go, admittedly not an expert at this. They need the whole experience of sound, touch, smell space to enjoy their kink, all their senses involved.

    We as performers no matter what venue have to adapt & make the most out of each situation. Learn one shoe size doesn't fit them all. (couldn't resist)

    Smooches,
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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    Guys who go to a real life situation are beyond that point & know what they want. They have done serious research & tried somethings on their own. It is the ONLY way they can get off. Here were a real foot guy gets off on the smell of shoe leather & your feet crushing his face. He could never get off on just looking at feet on cam. Or however that would go, admittedly not an expert at this. They need the whole experience of sound, touch, smell space to enjoy their kink, all their senses involved.
    That kind of makes it sound like guys on cam are all novices, which I don't find to be accurate at all. Blackmail, for example, is MUCH better to offer online than in person. Same with financial domination.

    Another layer is humiliation and being afraid. I don't think many of my adult babies like anyone knowing they are an adult baby. However, when we cam to cam, they are often all in diapers. Some of those like in-person sessions, but I think most prefer to keep it a secret. Same with sissies, but not nearly as much as adult babies (I ask them about who knows & stuff). That is why online is perfect.

    Also, sometimes meeting a girl for in-person seasons isn't feasible or is too risky. Think politicians, celebrities, etc. Or someone from a prominent family. Or someone whose wife is always home. Or someone who is always traveling for business. Or someone who hasn't found his ideal woman in person, but has online. Too many variables. Some men prefer watching porn, some prefer live cam, some prefer dancers, some prefer escorts, etc. Its just preference.

    But of course webcam caters more to either very soft fetish or bizarre fetish more than any other kind of fetish, and that is why there are so much of both of those IMO. Not to say I haven't done extreme CBT sessions on webcam, because I have, but that is something that is better in person. Also, blood is against the rules on a lot of sites. I have even gotten guys asking for electro play via webcam.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    I agree...
    I only like the easy ones, if it gets more complicated than that my eyes glass over & stare at the cam until they log off.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    I have zero experience with femdom cams, but i shoot a lot of femdom videos , and working with many people, and i must say, even in the real word, they are soo different.
    Some are real subs, they do whatever mistress say, they never say "no", they always respect and totally remove there "self", but others...damn, it's unbelievable, they can try to dominant the dommie ! haha...
    Those always looks fake to me, but on the other hand, they enjoy this humiliation and pain, so i guess it's part of the deal.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    I always have a mixture of guys who are complete subs, and those that think that's what they want, but like it when I take it easy on them, until I see them a few times.
    Most hardcore subs just go exclusive, turn their cams on, and either are 'trussed up' like a turkey, or have on a full lingerie set, with butt plug already in.

    The guys who want to talk about it in length in free chat, never even go prvt., and as soon as some random guy enters my chat with "Hello Mistress, I want to serve You", I just ignore him. That's just my own experience.
    I giggle at guys trying to 'solicit' me in free chat, by telling me he's looking for a 'real' life' dome.
    Then, when I say 'No', I see him go on to another girl, and ask her the same question. (I guess I can't blame him for trying).

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamourmilf View Post
    The guys who want to talk about it in length in free chat, never even go prvt., and as soon as some random guy enters my chat with "Hello Mistress, I want to serve You", I just ignore him.
    Those are always the ones that go pvt with me and stay the longest. Because they know what they want.

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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    Hmmm.

    So I do some sph, cei, a bit of domme stuff on SM and kinklive, and one of my guys said he'd like me as his mistress if I'd allow it and would "even" sign a d/s contract if necessary.

    Since my experience only extends to the private shows during camming hours, do any of you ladies have advice/tips on HOW and WHAT to charge the guy? Do I have him give me high tributes for things like being put into chastity, or point him to my wishlist, or just have him purchase long private sessions? And does anyone have exp. with a camming d/s contract? I'm reading around here and online, and any info is appreciated.

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    Veteran Member Camigirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Domme+Cam=WTF?

    I don't know about the LJ comment. I worked the fetish section there are did very well. These guys do roll on the sites that have categories for what they are looking for. If they find a serious experienced enough Dominant cammer, they will test drive you. I have had some serious fucks tied to the bed with a laptop tied around the belly and balls in duct tape so tight I thought they would pop shit. LJ does have it's share of these guys roll through, the problem is many performers struggle with what is wanted from these guys I have noticed.

    I figure ANY site that has the specific category for what you want to do, sign up!
    Never hurts, could only increase earnings as I see it... and YES, sell clips!!!!

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