Sometimes experience is the only real teacher, and I think this definitely holds true with respect to this particular topic. It never ceases to amaze me how many young women need at least one object lesson to finally understand that guys just do not share their emotional complexities with respect to interpersonal relationships. There aren't many 300 lb ugly girls with lots of male friends and there is a good reason for that. For most guys, if she is good enough to hang out with, it is because she is good enough to sleep with. Most guys just aren't emotionally sophisticated enough to maintain several different relationship buckets in their heads. There is also a reason why almost none of these so-called friends are in these girls' lives by the time they reach 30, which is that these guys were never really interested in platonic friendships to begin with. At some point, either the guy finally gets it through his head that it will never happen or he gets caught up in a long-term relationship with another woman and that is the end of it.
When I was 21 and living with my girlfriend at the time, a high school "friend" kept writing her from his military deployment and she insisted that he was just a friend. Try as I might to explain to her that he wouldn't be putting in all of that effort if he wasn't interested in more, she just refused to believe it. Well, one day, when he was back in the States on leave, she snuck out while I was at work to hang out with him. And of course, as was stupidly predictable for anyone who has a penis in his pants, he made a pass at her. Shortly after she rebuffed his pass and took off, she called me at work crying, telling me that I was right and apologizing for not telling me that she was going to meet up with him. This was her educational moment, when she finally started to get it.
Audrey, have fun on your trip, but you may also want to be clear-eyed about what he is hoping for and manage your interactions with him accordingly. Good luck!



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I was hoping it would have turned out differently. But yeah, people may not agree with me on this but it is true that unless they're under the age of 13, gay, or dead, guy friends are friends with us because they're usually hoping for something else. I've had to learn the hard way many times before I finally got it because I really thought that a straight man and woman can really just be friends. Even if I made a friendship that didn't start out that way with a man, like if I just met him and didn't know him very well, even if we got a little bit closer and I gave him any attention at all he took it as interest.
he's finishing up his residency and he's working at a really great hospital and he's probably going to be a very successful doctor, he's very mature and he's sweet and kind... but I don't like those kind of guys, I like starving artists with commitment issues who are totally bi-polar when it comes to relationships! He's a wonderful person and I just hope another girl snaps him up soon!

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