I was just browsing the web minding my (cam)business, and came across such a jaw dropping gem I HAD to share it here for you all.
http://directorscommentary.wordpress...been-arrested/
Have You Ever Been Arrested?
January 6, 2014
“I need to clean my glasses.”
“OK.”
“I don’t get it. It’s not like I’m rubbing my fingers all over the lens or spitting on them. How do my glasses get this dirty?”
“Maybe you should try contacts.”
“No, I don’t want to deal with all the maintenance that goes with having contacts.”
“But you’re complaining about how you have to clean your glasses.”
“I wasn’t complaining. Can we start over?”
“Sure. You want a coffee or something?”
“Yeah, but I was planning on buying you a coffee.”
She looked down at her purse on the table between us. ”I’ll get it. What do you like?”
“Black coffee, dark roast if they have it.”
“OK.”
While she stood at the counter and ordered, I studied her ass. Tiny, firm, round. Her jeans sagged just a little.
She returned to our table a few minutes later with two coffees in dingy-white ceramic mugs.
“Here. I didn’t know if you wanted sugar or cream.”
“Nope. Just black. This is fine.”
“So, you ever meet anyone before from Craigslist?”
“I tried a few times but it never panned out. They would either back out at the last minute or just stand me up.”
“That’s…depressing.”
“Tell me about it. How about you?”
“You’re like, my fifth date this week.” She waited until she saw my reaction. ”I’m joking.”
“This is just coffee,” I said. ”A date is two full meals, alcoholic drinks, maybe a movie, more alcoholic drinks, and maybe, if things are going well–”
“Sex?”
“I was going to say, a kiss.”
She looked into my eyes and then down at the table. ”I never kiss on a first date. I’ll fuck, but never kiss.”
“So you’ll have sex that doesn’t involve kissing?”
“Right. Think Pretty Woman. But that’s only on dates. This isn’t a date.”
“Did I say that?”
“Just coffee. No sugar and no cream.”
“On second thought, maybe I would like sugar.”
“Mmm hmm.” She unfastened the top two buttons of her wool parka. ”What do you do?”
“Are we at that question already?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are we going through the the dull interview because we’ve given up trying to scope out anything interesting about each other?”
“I guess that’s on you. I just want to know what you do to pay your bills.”
“Fair enough. I’m unemployed right now.”
“Good thing I’m paying for the coffee. I would’ve felt bad.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to starve anytime soon, and if I live under a bridge, it’s because I love the outdoors.”
She took her first sip of coffee. ”Still live with your parents?”
“Nope. I just saved enough while I was working. Things are…in flux right now.”
“And you decided that now would be a good time to find a new girlfriend?”
“This isn’t a date, remember?”
She placed her coffee mug back on the table. ”So if you did have a job, what would you be doing?”
She had me there. I could have made up something that sounded productive, but the first few jobs that came to mind–furniture sales, UPS delivery, pipe fitter–sounded so uninspiring to me that had I actually worked in any of those jobs, I would have given my two-weeks notice the next day.
“Graphic novelist.”
“Cool. I have a friend who does that.”
“Really? I don’t know how to draw people all that well.”
She took another sip and I followed her eyes as they gazed at the watch on her wrist.
“What time is it?”
“It’s almost seven. I can stay for another half hour and then I’d better be going.”
Half an hour? Why did she give herself so little time to meet? Or was the time constraint a new development? Probably a new development. Hell, I was bored with our conversation so she must have been close to slipping into a coma. I could look past the non-conversation if she agreed to go back to my apartment with me and make out.
“Where will you go?”
“I’m meeting a friend.”
I felt the inside of the coffee mug’s handle with the edge of my thumb. This meet up was dead on arrival. Then she slipped a business card across the table. Swish.
“What’s this?”
“It’s my website.”
“What?”
“My website. Enter that code on the back and you can get the first two sessions for half off. I do everything.”
I tossed that last sentence around in my head for probably too long. ”You met me here just to advertise that you’re a cam girl?”
“No, silly. But since we’re here.”
“So regardless of how this turns out, I’m guaranteed to see you naked tonight.”
“Not tonight. I’m not there on Sundays. But there’s a lot of scenes of me that you can watch for free.”
This made sense to me. A pretty girl like her, looking for a date on Craigslist?
“Don’t look so sad,” she said. “This isn’t a date, remember?”
..and discuss



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