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Thread: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Hey guys,

    So I just moved to London from Los Angeles and I definitely have an American accent-- personally in the grand scheme of American accents I think I have a pretty neutral accent, I mean California accents are pretty neutral, but I have been told my accent is very strong from all the Brits.

    I seriously get asked this question by every single guy I speak to. And that's on top of all the British people I speak to on a daily basis-- store owners, people on the tube, neighbors, people on the street, etc. It's not even brought up in conversation, it usually goes "hi how are you?" "I'm good you?" "I'm great now that I'm talking to you, what's your name babe?" "Johnny... wow, you must be an American! Why did you move to London?" 98% of the time it's followed up by the question, "why on Earth would you want to leave Los Angeles for London? The weather is so much worse here." And then we have to talk about that which is even more irritating...

    The first five times I'm asked this I smile, explain I wanted to move to Europe to travel before graduate school, blah blah. Sometimes they want to go into more detail than that so I turn it back to them and talk about how lovely London is, etc. But by the time I've spoken to 30 or 50 people and I'm getting asked this question for the 50th time, and they want me to give them this legitimate thought out answer (because when I say something like "because London is the greatest city in the world!" just to avoid having to do my speel they fucking WON'T LET IT GO) I am seriously fucking sick and tired of explaining the same godamn thing over again and it really shows in my mood and is not a great start to our conversation. Honestly just hearing the question for the 50th time make me clench my fists. Oh, and then I get to hear it and answer it again 50 times the next night!

    So, any advice on how I can avoid having to answer this question or a one sentence answer I can give without having to go into detail? I don't know why "because London is the greatest city in the world!" isn't enough for them, I mean I can tell they're only half listening to me anyway because they'll ask me something like "when are you going back to America?" 2 minutes later when I specially told them I'm staying for two years. Fucking Brits!
    Last edited by audrey_k; 03-30-2014 at 01:11 AM.

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    I'm a sucker for a british accent

    I couldn't resist the cheap airfare

    I have family over

    Oops you mean this isn't America?!!

    I'm canadian. Born and raised. (Variety is the spice of life)

    Not telling - cheeky way

    "Why did you move?" Why not!! Why did you?

    I'm in the secret service. Here to find the sexiest man alive...

    I got kidnapped by aliens

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Tip me and I'll tell you

    Who knows!!

    The LA heat my hair frizz

    I look hot in tight sweaters

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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    ^I like all of those! I just feel like they're going to follow it up with "haha... but really, why did you move?" I mean, if we're doing a sit-down I will hide my distaste for the question and talk about it, but not on the fucking floor when I don't even know if they're gonna buy a dance. I swear I don't why it's so fascinating to them! I mean people move all the time. The ones who really piss me off are the ones who then ask, "so you moved all the way over from California to dance on a pole?" I seriously want to punch them. Hard.

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    I have family here + I've always been a big traveler/What better place to get theatre experience (only if you're comfortable sharing your field… so maybe to regular people OTC but not customers).

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Tip me and I'll tell you...

    Would that work? I do like Shanna's idea.

    Or just ignore the question and keep on chatting till you get a feel if they are spending or not.

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    i like all these suggestions, esp the ones where you try and close the sale with your anwer
    i just gotta say i feel you on this one. i have a very different accent from new englanders from growing up in the southern parts of the country but i find it works to my advantage to have a different accent. i know guys who buy dances just because girls have exotic accents.
    but if it bothers you and you are good with accents, could you fake the british accent that is common in your parts?

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    When I moved to New York, my Cali accent gave me away so I was asked this question way more than I liked. I moved to New York because I wanted to move somewhere new with good public transit and good money potential. And experiencing my twenties with money in NYC is something I'm definitely going to remember and be happy I did when I'm old and look back on my life. But customers can't seem to grasp that with their simple little minds so I've developed a good response that shut them up.

    "So why did you really move to New York?"
    "Do you want the stripper answer or real answer."
    "The real answer."
    "I moved here with an ex -_-"

    That shuts them up right quick

    and if they have the nerve to still be nosy and ask what happened I say he had a small Dick and I don't want to talk about it. Lol that usually gets a laugh and some dances out of them.

    But I love amberlly's answer "tip me and i'll tell you" genius!

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Could you say that you're traveling to visit popular spots in London? Basically that you're on vacation? "And I couldn't resist trying some of the clubs while I'm in town..." ::giggle::

    That could be a good segue into talking about where you've visited so far and what their recommendations are for places to see. Tell them you'll be there for a month or something - that could inspire them to come in again to see you, since you won't be there forever. After you've been there for a month, just start saying that you're extending your stay because you still haven't had time to see x, y, and z.

    I think lying about something here is critical, because your reasons for being in London are very personal. When people critique your reasons for being there, it feels like a personal hit, which causes you to respond defensively. I'm sure you're feeling especially raw since all of this is still so new and fragile for you.

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    ^I like that idea. I do like the tipping answer but unfortunately tipping is non-existent in this city and if I were to ask that it would probably get a glare. I've asked a few people for tips, even in a joking way, and gotten my head bitten off. I do like the rest of the ones amerbelly posted and Shanna's.

    I do like using my accent, I mean it definitely helps me make money because English guys love girls with American accents. I had to change my stage name back to my original one, Audrey last night cause some girl had one very similar to mine at the club I was at and Americans pronounce Audrey very differently from the way the British do, it's one of those words where you can really hear the difference in accent. Several guys remarked I pronounced it differently and so I would overly exaggerate the way they said it in a making-fun way and then try and get them to say it my way, which made them laugh and got me a lot of dances! So I definitely don't want to lose the accent, I just want to avoid having to answer the same question in-depthly 50 times a night.

    I do find it a little amusing though that they press me, I always thought Londoners would think their city is the best in the world, I mean if someone were to move to LA I would just assume they wanted to move there cause LA is beautiful and awesome... but it's like they're genuinely surprised someone would want to move to London!

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    People are just going to keep asking you, someone asked me today why I moved here from New England (11 years ago!) and my accent is completely gone unless I say DAWLAH (Dollar) so.... I don't think you can avoid them asking. I saw experiment with a few of the suggestions given and see which ones make them stop "probing" then just stick to it.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    I just want to avoid having to answer the same question in-depthly 50 times a night.
    Give them a short, one sentence reply and then finish with a question to turn the attention back on them and discourage them from pressing for more details. Example: "Oh I just love to travel and the opportunity to move here came up. Have you lived anywhere interesting/exotic/exciting?" No pause, just refocus the topic immediately.

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    I have the same issue I am always asked why im in mexico city. The real reason is because my boyfriend is here but I tell everyone I have friends here that I wanted to visit and that I travel all over the world dancing etc. etc.
    It does get tiring but people are gonna keep asking its unavoidable.
    I have been dealing with the "what are you doing here?" questions for years since I have been working in lots of countries where its not normal to meet british dancers
    Funnily enough I used to bet asked this when I was working in london too. "What are you doing here, your not from east europe" yeah I dont really know how to answer that.
    I guess this is just the downside of being different but there are advantages too.

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    I do find it a little amusing though that they press me, I always thought Londoners would think their city is the best in the world, I mean if someone were to move to LA I would just assume they wanted to move there cause LA is beautiful and awesome... but it's like they're genuinely surprised someone would want to move to London!
    I don't mean to offend anyone when I say this (and this theory/idea comes from my British friends!) but deep down British people/Londoners know that it's not the best country/city in the world, and to them weather is EVERYTHING, so they become baffled at why anyone would move here if you come from somewhere hotter etc. I'm from the Caribbean (but have lived here for a while) and people ask me ALL the time why I came here. It fucking pisses me off and makes them look super dumb because even though the Caribbean is hot, there's nothing there! No jobs, no money, nothing. I'm not going to just sit there and do nothing with my life because it's hot!! Ugh

    Sorry for the rant

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    I think people are just different about the weather... I know so many people in LA who hate the city for a number of reasons but will never leave SoCal because they can't stand the idea of it being cold/rainy. I really don't care about the weather, to try and convince me not to go to NYU my dad took me to visit in February hoping the cold would put me off but I just put on a coat and was like so what?? I would much rather book a vacation to Copenhagen than a beach trip to South America. My brother acts like a 3 year old if he has to so much as put a sweatshirt on.

    But when you live in a city with shitty weather you definitely have a different mentality because you really notice it when the weather is nice. When it's nice all the time it's nice all the time so who cares? But even as someone who doesn't care about the weather I'll take a walk when it's nice in London just to enjoy the weather because it's shit most days!

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    I'm a southerner with the accent now living near Chicago and I get asked that a lot too...For some reason people think living in Alabama is better than Chicago and want to know why I moved(?????) I tell them I moved here with an ex but it didn't work out (which is true/the short story of it) and it never goes further. Usually they're just like "Ahhh I gotcha" and the conversation moves on. I leave out the part where I met someone else and got married so I stayed. :p Hope that helps.

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Quote Originally Posted by GypsyLace View Post
    Haha guys, I'm British and trust me - Americans are JUST as bad for asking us Brits about our accent , ha! Why don't you just tell them the truth ? Just say something like 'honey, I've answered that question nearly 50 times tonight and I'll scream if I answer it again - wouldn't you rather ask me to dance for you? " . It means hopefully they'll get the hint and stop asking you at least!
    Well I ask people where they're from all the time just because I'm always curious where their accent is from, but I've honestly never asked a complete stranger WHY they moved. I would feel like it's a bit of an invasive question and none of my business to be quite honest! I really don't mind the question "where are you from?" it's the "why did you move????" that bugs the hell out of me.

    But I like your response! I'll probably jump to that at 3am! lol.

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    Veteran Member DreamsInDigital's Avatar
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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    Give them a short, one sentence reply and then finish with a question to turn the attention back on them and discourage them from pressing for more details. Example: "Oh I just love to travel and the opportunity to move here came up. Have you lived anywhere interesting/exotic/exciting?" No pause, just refocus the topic immediately.
    I also get asked this question a lot, and this strategy works for me. Or you could say, "To meet you!"

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    I moved to NYC because my bf is in medical school here. When customers ask why I moved here, I just say, in my dumb girl voice, "I thought the dancing would be better" (a direct response so they don't badger me about it anymore) and then I add, "But it's not that much better." (Case closed.)

    I too am sick of every customer saying the exact same stuff as every other customer.

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    How about "That's the million dollar (pound) question! Give me a million and I'll tell you."

    Or tell them you are an undercover American actress researching a role as a Brit stripper, can they help you practice your dances?

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    I'm a person from a Northern Place currently dancing in a Southern US place. When I get asked, I smile and just say "Serendipity." and change the topic.

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Honestly, I think this is a pretty normal question to get asked. If I were a customer and asked a dancer such an innocent question, I'd be surprised by any response that seemed to be trying to divert the conversation...it'd only make me more curious, and a bit weirded out (like, is this girl a fugitive or something?).

    I moved recently, and whenever I tell anyone, the first question I get is "Oh, why did you move here?" I don't mind it. I've come up with a very easy answer ("to escape those horrible winters!") that people accept immediately and move on (even though I moved here for a much more personal reason).

    So I think coming up with something short and realistic is ideal - an answer that can lead to more productive conversation (e.g. "I'm here on vacation / moved here for the history / moved here with my family").

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Maybe, along the lines of the excuse I use, you could say something like "I was sick of L.A.'s shallowness, and I wanted an adventure!" I'm assuming (perhaps incorrectly) that there's a worldwide awareness of the stereotype that L.A. is an appearance-obsessed city full of actors and models.

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    I've started saying "because I love to travel and... British men are better in bed."

    That pretty much stops them right there and they get a stupid smile on their face. Or they ask "how do you know? you've slept with a lot of British men?" to which I can say yes I love British accents they make me so horny blah blah and move on to talking about dances!

    What was really annoying me was having my anwer dissected/discussed/questioned, especially when it was personal. But they can't really argue with this ("no we're not as good in bed!").

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    Default Re: how to avoid the question 'why did you move to London?'

    Oh man, I wish this would have been posted when I still lived in Guam, better yet, why didn't I post a thread asking this question, dur, lol.

    I felt the same way as you audrey_k. I lived in Guam for almost 5 years and after the first month I was ready to start biting people's heads off for asking me "What brought you to Guam" That is how most people phrased it which drove me even more crazy, I just got so annoyed I hated the sound of that phrase and it made me cringe. I would get smart ass with some and just answer with a plane brought me to Guam or a boat or something, it shut a lot of them up but not all of them, I got the "no, what REALLY brought you here" a lot as well so I just made up that I was married to a Military guy, got divorced and became a stripper so I could afford to stay on Guam because I loved the island, usually guys would shut up after that one.

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