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Thread: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

  1. #1
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Angry Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear 99.6% of female customers,
    Go away. Most of us don't like you. You make things awkward. You think having a vagina grants you special exemptions. You have this delusion we want your man. No bitch we want his wallet. Going to a strip club doesn't make you "cool" or "liberated". It just makes you an unwanted parasite that I wish I could stomp out with my stiletto. Don't try to do our job. Odds are you are a comical and pitiful imitation.

    Go to your local pole dance studio and take classes. Stay out of my space and we'll stay out of yours. (Too bad that the good ones suffer because of cuntwads that are the overwhelming majority)

    Sincerely,
    Tempest
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest


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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    "Dear Asshole who sits and watches for free, never tips onstage ( even though you get a clear view of ) or gets dances,
    you are a cheap little parasite, that's right, you are a maggot! how would you like to go into work, and not get paid? you think we like getting naked for your viewing pleasure for FREE? if you are looking, the LEAST you could do is put up a few bucks, would that really break the bank you pathetic F*ck? maybe you just don't get it..we don't get paid by the club, in fact we have to pay the club ourselves to work, our only source of income is customers like you. so stop coasting along on other guy's tips, and contribute if you're looking. if you just " want a drink" then get the fuck outta the club with naked girls in it, and go to a damn bar.
    sincerely,
    simone


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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    oh and to the customer who let go one helluva putrid fart while sitting at my stage the other night,
    please stop doing that! if you have to let one go, go to the bathroom or at least away from where i'm dancing! you are making my paying custies scatter with that stench, and some no doubt thought it was me! ugh

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear all customers,

    I don't get why you people think its cute to try to randomly touch or lick me without warning or consent. Are you people that socially retarded to do this to a random stranger? Eh, probably are. And if I walk away from you mid dance because I can't deal with the bullshit why you are still trying to get my attention later.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear dude sitting behind my customer, blatanly staring as I dance for him,

    GET YOUR OWN DAMN DANCE.
    Or throw me a few bucks at least.
    Seriously going to start walking up to you and your kin and telling you "It's a $5 charge for watching."


    Dear guy who asked me what cross streets I lived on,

    Why in the world would you ask that of a complete stranger in an environment where I already have to actively be concerned about stalkers/rapists?
    Totally not appropriate.
    Even though I already lied about what city I lived in.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Senior Member ameena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear anyone who thinks they can grab/slap my ass on stage: You will get slapped in the face. Hard. And you won't know what to think because I will do it all while smiling and pretending I'm just having fun so I don't get fired. So just keep sitting there, with that dumb, confused look on your face while trying to process what just happened, and enjoy the rest of my show.

    Sincerely,

    My Left Hand
    Curiosity skilled the cat.


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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Quote Originally Posted by ameena View Post
    Dear anyone who thinks they can grab/slap my ass on stage: You will get slapped in the face. Hard. And you won't know what to think because I will do it all while smiling and pretending I'm just having fun so I don't get fired. So just keep sitting there, with that dumb, confused look on your face while trying to process what just happened, and enjoy the rest of my show.

    Sincerely,

    My Left Hand
    Epic
    ... lol omg I wish I had the guts to do that

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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear Anti Oral Hygiene,
    If you actually go about living your life with the repulsive breath you come in here with then that explains why you're probably still single. If I offer you a mint, take it. Don't try to be sweet by saying no, take it, and do us a favor. If you have $hit breath, refuse my mint, and then refuse my offer for a dance then I've added you to my data. As the data shows, a study being conducted by me, men with $hit breath are also always cheap.

    Sincerely,
    Stripper with floss, toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, and mints in her dancer bag.

    Even when im drinking at work, after a drink I freshen up, there is just no excuse.

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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    Dear dude sitting behind my customer, blatanly staring as I dance for him,

    GET YOUR OWN DAMN DANCE.
    Or throw me a few bucks at least.
    Seriously going to start walking up to you and your kin and telling you "It's a $5 charge for watching."
    I HATE THAT! At the pubs in London dances are done in a room with like 4-6 poles, you dance on the pole/podium 3 feet from the customer. I swear to god, I have had at least twenty customers tell me, when I go up to ask them for a dance, "no thanks but I want to compliment you on your breasts... I couldn't help noticing them while I was getting a dance from x" then I ask "well since you were watching me and not the girl you actually paid, then perhaps you should tip me?" to which I get blank stares and MAYBE a drink if I'm lucky. I HATE that the dances are so open here! But I guess I should take it as a compliment than in the land of breast implants that is London strip clubs my au naturel 32 As attract so much attention!

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    Senior Member Sqrlbby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear man who thinks i only belong to him,

    I'm not your property, i'm not your wife, i'm not your girlfriend. I am a dancer. I am here to work. I very much appreciate the money you spend on me, the drink or two you may buy. Don't think i'm ungreatfull but don't punish me for talking to other men. Can you pay me 2grand a week to just sit here and talk to you? No, you won't. You spend 300-400 a month on me and think that i'm all yours. I'm sorry but this is not true. Stop being passive agressive. Stop waisting my time all night to decide you don't want dances in order to punish me for doing my job. i'm sick of it and i'm getting sick of you.


    -not "your" girl


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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear Customer,
    Please stop apologizing for not getting a boner. I don't care. In fact, it's kind of refreshing that I don't have to worry about you hip-stabbing at me during the dance. That's just weird. And to the regulars who set up a time outside of my regular schedule to meet at the club, you better be getting some dances! You are now imposing on my personal time, I've had to rearranged my schedule to see you when it is convenient for you. I have no issue with this, but for me go to these lengths, you better be getting at least 30 mins in VIP. If I'm going out of my way for you, it isn't because I enjoy your scintillating conversation.

    Sincerely,
    A Dancer with a life.

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  19. #12
    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear Customers that tries to Shit-Talk the other Dancers to me,
    No you will never hear me say a negative word about another girl I work with. I'm not in 8th grade and I'm not going to help you stir up drama. I know you're talking shit about everyone and I'm not playing this game. Where do you get off talking about about ugly/fat a perfectly good looking girl is when your face is straight up busted? Let's see a picture of your girlfriend and compare bitch. It's funny because none of us would notice you or give you the time of day in the real world...but I guess it's fun for you pretend that you would actually ever get a choice or a chance with any of us. Go sit with your friends Cheap-Ass-that-won't-buy-a-dance-but-wants-my-number and Asshole-that-tries-to-tell-me-how-to-do-my-job and keep dreaming.

    Leah/Haley/Anna or whatever "real" fake name I gave you


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    Veteran Member LexiConn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear Customer Who is Not Paying Me,

    Don't tell me that you bet "that guy over there" has lots of money, because you have no idea, and he doesn't. A simple "No, thanks" when I ask you for a dance is enough.

    It's not helpful. It's pandering.

    Also, don't say such shite when said guy is right fucking next to us and well within earshot.

    Sincerely,
    Lexi Conn


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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear customer who must have flunked English class,
    "Axe" is a NOUN and not a verb. Therefore you cannot "axe" me for my number. I might suggest "Hooked on Phonics"
    Sincerely,
    Tempest
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest


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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear DrunkAss trying to make me "work" for your $1 bill,

    It's okay boo. You can keep it. You need it more than I do. I make at least 3x what you make working half the hours. I'm not desperate and if you annoy me I'm just going to ignore you or have you removed from my stage. Be a gentleman and tip generously or you can watch me "work my fine ass" from a distance.

    xoxo
    Leah


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    Member Kaylak's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Dear customer who must have flunked English class,
    "Axe" is a NOUN and not a verb. Therefore you cannot "axe" me for my number. I might suggest "Hooked on Phonics"
    Sincerely,
    Tempest
    ^^^ ^^^ ^^^
    I have to make it official Tempest. Your posts are always a riot.
    Kayla Kay

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    Veteran Member DreamsInDigital's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Dear customer who must have flunked English class,
    "Axe" is a NOUN and not a verb. Therefore you cannot "axe" me for my number. I might suggest "Hooked on Phonics"
    Sincerely,
    Tempest

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    Veteran Member LexiConn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Oh this is the BEST.

    PLEASE tuck that wrinkly dollar in your pants and tell me to "work for it" and that "nothing is free".

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    Dear DrunkAss trying to make me "work" for your $1 bill,

    It's okay boo. You can keep it. You need it more than I do. I make at least 3x what you make working half the hours. I'm not desperate and if you annoy me I'm just going to ignore you or have you removed from my stage. Be a gentleman and tip generously or you can watch me "work my fine ass" from a distance.

    xoxo
    Leah

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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    Dear DrunkAss trying to make me "work" for your $1 bill,

    It's okay boo. You can keep it. You need it more than I do. I make at least 3x what you make working half the hours. I'm not desperate and if you annoy me I'm just going to ignore you or have you removed from my stage. Be a gentleman and tip generously or you can watch me "work my fine ass" from a distance.

    xoxo
    Leah
    I love it when they're shocked, even angry that you're not going wild or busting it open or letting them grab a feel using the dollar as an excuse. I usually just open my garter so they can put it there. I usually just smile and take it with my hand and put it on the floor ha

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWeirdOne View Post
    I love it when they're shocked, even angry that you're not going wild or busting it open or letting them grab a feel using the dollar as an excuse. I usually just open my garter so they can put it there. I usually just smile and take it with my hand and put it on the floor ha
    Haha me too! I don't put my boobs in their face, sit in their lap or any of that..If that's what they want I tell them they can buy a private dance. I don't even undress if no one's tipping or not tipping much. No one's seeing these tatas for free!

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    Veteran Member absolutbliss's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear temp,

    I love you for this post !!!!! I have the worst anxiety now thinking about working today ... This seriously helped !!!
    I'd grab my trumpet and I'd do a stripper sound, like the old Louis Armstrong, real raspy. And the people would go nuts! Then I knew that the sexual, sensual, guttural sound, that throbbing sound, is where it's at.

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear Chatty-Cathy-During-LD,

    No you can't touch my pussy. No you can't touch my boobs. I know I have great nipples. I know my butt is awesome. No I don't really think you're cute. Is this really the time to ask me where I grew up? The last time I had sex is none of your business. No I don't want to hear about your brother's surgery when I'm bent over in front of you butt naked. Just, please, please shut the fuck up and enjoy your dance for fuck's sake.


    Leah

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  37. #23
    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    ^^^^ Was his brother's surgery a colonoscopy, by any chance?



    Dear 'Dennis the Menace':

    I must say, I have been feeling such guilt & pity since our interaction the other nite. I learnt more abt you in the last 20 seconds than I did in the whole 40 min I sat sharing my ice pack w/ you, listening to your miserable golf & basketball anecdotes, hearing you constantly counter my VIP leads w/ 'In a bit, I promise, & I will tip you really well for sitting w/ me too!' 'No need to point at your garter, I know your meter is running! I promise I will make it worth your while!' The way you slowly, deliberately, double-counted those five singles from your stack said everything. May God forgive me for taking your money; obviously you need it much more than I do.

    It did make me grateful, tho, that my life is not so pathetically empty that I have to get my kicks by wasting a stripper's time.

    Ania

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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    Dear guys who touch my ass with zero intentions of getting a dance.

    Who the hell told you that it's okay to grab my ass just because this is a strip club? If it weren't for the fact that I would get fired, I'd punch you right in your face and knock you out. And no that dirty pile of singles that you have doesn't make it okay neither. You cheap disgraceful scum. I don't pay these high ass fees just to have broke cheap asses like you touch me for FREE.
    Oh and you don't want a dance but I can sit here and keep you company. No thanks, I don't like you and I don't work for free.

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    Default Re: Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)

    To the guys with the nasty attitude when approached by dancers,

    Just because you are miserable and bitter for whatever reason, does not make it okay to kill other dancers vibes. Your attitude is contagious and we don't need that at the club. Don't flatter yourself Hun, I wouldn't have noticed you anywhere else, all I see is potential money but you are a buzzkill.

    You don't want a dance? Ok that's fine. Would it kill you to say " no thank you but here's a dollar tip" or even just a "no thank you, I'm just relaxing" ? Instead you choose to get all angry and rude as if we have done something so horrible to you. Why so much hatred towards people who are just doing their jobs?

    You are ugly from the inside out. There's the door if you hate being approached by strippers so much, take your broke ass along with your disgusting attitude to a bar, where you can be reminded that you're nothing special and be alone and ignored the entire night.

    Ps. Do it once and I will blacklist you, so that next time I can approach everyone and when it comes time to approach you, I wont even acknowledge your existence, I'll just simply walk past you like you're nothing. Your attitude will eventually catch on to u and no stripper will want to come anywhere near you.

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