omfg yes Lucille


omfg yes Lucille
I actually think this is how I look the night after I've had a tequila bender and people fill me in on what I did.
1st gif: Kelly, you remember last night?
2nd gif: It was awesome when you tit smacked that asshole. It was even better when you threatened to make him you butt bitch for life if he didn't give you $100 after he tried to pull your thong off.
3rd gif: Thanks for breakfast. Just wanna let you know, you may want to send the staff at Dennys some cookies again so they let you back in.





Psyching myself up before a shift:
Motivation cat.jpg
When customers literally pick me up, because I'm short:
Picked up cat.jpg
After working ALL weekend:
Friday Sunday.jpg
When you come back after taking time off:
Forgot how.jpg
When you see a guy taking $$$ out of the ATM:
get him cat.jpg
“Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe
"True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese



workahol.gif
customers butthurt![]()
When customers ask for extras the 10000000th time that night
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Making excuses to your manager to get out of a shift
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I worked at a club once where I called in sick so often, altered my roster, broke arrangements to make up shifts that they changed their policy in contract regarding sick days after I left! Lol, you have to pay to cancel a shift and being legitsick with doctors cert. makes no difference.
When a customer foolishly asks for extras......
“Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”
The remedy to Mumbai escort spambot
“Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”
no caption...this just cracked me up
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Every damn day
xtCyKxT.jpg
The whole world steps aside for the one who knows where she's going.
The faces of a big group of female customers sitting at stage, enjoying their WILD and CRAZY night at a strip club:
Male customers watching the same performance:
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nickishit.gifWhen a customer ignores your first warning to not touch you like that





blonde meme.jpg
friends meme 1.jpg
^When customers are surprised that we have "brains".
dressing up.jpg
^When friends ask you to go out (especially when you have worked the night before!).
tumblr_n4h3hfpCAY1smcbm7o1_r1_500.gif
^When customers are "just here to drink" or "don't get dances".
demon demon.gif
^When a custy whips it out *le sigh*!
turned on.jpg
^ When a custy catches you yawning.
18.jpg
^Giving an 18 year old his first ever lap dance.
head through wall.jpg
^When someone pisses you off at 5 am.
oh no.gif
^Watching a new, really drunk dancer fail at stage.
(^Don't know they came out sooo small?!)
“Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe
"True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese
@ the haters and insecure boyfriends
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Trying to talk to customers when you're just done:
sw.jpg
"People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
In honor of the season:
When people try to convince you to go out on your day off
grinch booked.jpg
Trying to feel out a new outfit in those awful fluorescent lights
grinch posing.gif
Drinking after work
grinch memories.gif
Trying to decide which customers to text to come in
grinch hate hate.gif
When you're just over it and dick around for the rest of your shift
grinch worst.gif
Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
The struggle of trying to pick which new Pleasers to get. There are just so many options!
When a customer whips his dick out or takes off his shirt and you're forced to see the horror
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Last edited by wednesday86; 12-18-2015 at 12:04 PM.
When there's tons of cars in the parking lot but the club is dead
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Last edited by wednesday86; 12-18-2015 at 12:03 PM.
When he gives you the whole "I respect you so much as a person/you're not just an object" speech
Then immediately tries grabbing your tits in VIP
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Trying to decide to hide in the dressing room or keep working shitty crowd
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When you stack 25 dances and are only 99% sure he'll pay
When he pays in full plus a tip



"I don't buy dances BB, I'd rather take you out to dinner and get to know you"
EDIT: How the shit do y'all get your pictures and gifs to actually appear instead of being tiny?
Last edited by Miss_Red; 01-06-2016 at 12:40 PM.
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