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  1. #1
    Senior Member nikki187's Avatar
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    Default social services

    I recently had my step mom watch my daughter and my son. She let my daughter, who is 7 and her daughter who is 12 go over to a neighbors to play with their daughter. My step moms daughter had her tablet with her and when she went back to her house to use the bathroom my daughter got on her table to get to try to find the frozen movie videos but accidentally clicked on a porn site and her and the neighbors daughter seen it and she clicked out. After I got there the neighbor showed saying that my daughter showed her a video and talked about what happened in the video. The 12 year old admitted that she was curious that is why it was on there.

    The neighbors daughter went to school the next day and told everyone what she saw and child protective services got called. They showed up at my step moms house yesterday and talk to her daughter alone and asked her about me. My family knows what I do and doesn't have any problems with it. I think that she might have over heard somethings, or my brother said stuff in front of her like he always does. Anyways they asked her what I do for work and she said I do online work and they asked if it ever becomes sexual. She said sometimes. They also talked to my step mom and asked her and she said that I did that in the past and I don't do it anymore.

    I have been up all day looking up laws for Kansas but there is not very much. If they come talk to me and my daughter I am going to tell them I don't do that anymore because my daughter doesn't know anything about it. I have my own room They have their own rooms so I don't think she knows anything. She knows that her dad sends me money to take care of us.

    Do you guys think that child protective services would keep checking up on me for this? I am a little worried because I have never had any problems with child protective services and don't know what to expect.

    Sorry this was such a long story. I just wanted to talk to someone about it that does the same job I do.

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    Veteran Member MiraMichele's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    I don't want to scare you but I'm going to give my opinion on what I think. I'm pretty sure social services is different depending on where you are, where I am they are asses. If it is anything like here then to tell you the bluntly honest truth, no they probably aren't going to leave you alone. Not trying to scare you and don't panic, but if they start becoming too intrusive then hire a lawyer is the best thing I can tell you to do.

    I've had to deal with these people for a huge chunk of my life and I have seem messed up stuff that they do. They will lie on people that really aren't doing anything wrong and get away with it, I have seen it numerous times. I had to grow up half of my childhood life in foster homes because of lies they told against my family. Just be as careful as you can if you have to deal with these people and be prepared. In most cases they don't even have the children's best interest in mind, a lot of the places I had to live were 10 times worse than where they took me away from.

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    Default Re: social services

    Whatever happened to blocking porn site from children? There is a program (or a few now) that blocks porn sites and pop ups as well.
    This is not directed at you as a person, but kids will find porn (or porn finds them in your case) and be curious.

    I have no advice except to block and have anyone who uses computers and tablets etc. to block out porn too. I wish you the best.
    Good luck.

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    Senior Member nikki187's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    Quote Originally Posted by MiraMichele View Post
    I don't want to scare you but I'm going to give my opinion on what I think. I'm pretty sure social services is different depending on where you are, where I am they are asses. If it is anything like here then to tell you the bluntly honest truth, no they probably aren't going to leave you alone. Not trying to scare you and don't panic, but if they start becoming too intrusive then hire a lawyer is the best thing I can tell you to do.

    I've had to deal with these people for a huge chunk of my life and I have seem messed up stuff that they do. They will lie on people that really aren't doing anything wrong and get away with it, I have seen it numerous times. I had to grow up half of my childhood life in foster homes because of lies they told against my family. Just be as careful as you can if you have to deal with these people and be prepared. In most cases they don't even have the children's best interest in mind, a lot of the places I had to live were 10 times worse than where they took me away from.
    Thank you. I am not really sure what they are like here. All I can do is hope they are not ass holes. My step mom told me the social seemed nice, but you never know. I am trying not to panic. Every once in awhile I want to cry just thinking about them taking them from me.

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    Senior Member nikki187's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    Quote Originally Posted by Camigirl View Post
    Whatever happened to blocking porn site from children? There is a program (or a few now) that blocks porn sites and pop ups as well.
    This is not directed at you as a person, but kids will find porn (or porn finds them in your case) and be curious.

    I have no advice except to block and have anyone who uses computers and tablets etc. to block out porn too. I wish you the best.
    Good luck.
    I know. My daughters computer has all the security and blocking on it. My dad and her mom bought tablet for her and I heard her tell her mom she wasn't allowed to touch it. Her mom didn't say shit. I wanted to say something but I just let them raise her however they want. Now that this has happened I wish I would have said something. She basically gets control of the house and I just can't stand being around her anymore.

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    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    If they find nothing wrong, they'll probably leave you alone after a few visits. They have so many calls and cases to check up on.

    I'll be honest too, if I saw a seven year old describing a porn video, I'd absolutely call CPS. What her parents do for a living would have no bearing on that decision. I'd rather risk pissing off the parents than ignoring a possible sign of a sexually abused child.

  11. #7
    Senior Member nikki187's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    If they find nothing wrong, they'll probably leave you alone after a few visits. They have so many calls and cases to check up on.

    I'll be honest too, if I saw a seven year old describing a porn video, I'd absolutely call CPS. What her parents do for a living would have no bearing on that decision. I'd rather risk pissing off the parents than ignoring a sign of a sexually abused child.
    Oh yeah definitely I would have called too. I have no problem with them coming here to talk about that. It was an accident. I just wish my job wouldn't have been brought up.

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    Default Re: social services

    Not meaning to raise any unwarranted reasons for concern, but ...

    Kansas isn't New York or California. Without delving into politics, Kansas' governor is considered to be a 'conservative' ( even by Republicans ). As such, state policy starting at the governor's mansion has a way of trickling down through state gov't ... to such agencies as social services. And 'conservatives' tend to view any 'adult industry' related work by a parent as a bad influence upon children.

    Had the tablet incident been the only connection to 'adult' material, it would almost certainly have been dismissed as a pure 'accident'. But adding in the fact that CPS is also aware that the child's mother has an 'adult industry' background could lead to CPS sensing a 'pattern' of potential child exposure to 'adult' material. Unfortunately, under the circumstances, there isn't much to be done other than wait to see how CPS reacts.

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    Default Re: social services

    Definitely check with a lawyer, even if it's just to give yourself piece of mind. Thinking about it and not taking steps to remedy a potential legal situation will just make you feel powerless and afraid, so don't allow yourself to go there.
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Featured Member Bootsie's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    Ugh, this is awful, I'm so sorry this is happening to you!

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    Default Re: social services

    I understand how you don't want to flat out give them all kinds of information, but I'm a bit weary of you telling them that you don't do camming anymore, if in fact you DO still do it. If somehow they found out that you actually still are involved with the adult industry, you then have lying on your record which is going to be pretty bad. At that point, who is to say you don't lie about many other things as well?

    That's a really hard position to be in.

    Here in Texas, where they are obviously also ultra conservative, I have had one run in with CPS regarding my husbands daughter, this was before I had kids of my own. Basically the ex wife called CPS saying we were exposing their daughter to horrible things and doing drugs. What ended up happening was an interview and drug test, which we both passed because they closed the case almost immediately. We were honest about our jobs in the adult industry and told the truth, and made clear the child was never exposed to anything harmful and that was that.

    I tend to lean toward the truth working out in your favor better than a lie... Once you lie it's very hard to recover if you are found out to be lying. If it were me personally, I would tell them that yes I do webcam modeling from a locked bedroom when the children are not present or are sound asleep - same as when I have sex with my husband which should be no different, right? I have adult website filtering on all computers except my own, which cannot be accessed without a password - they can check this if they want.

    Also make it a point to them that your daughter was exposed to this video at your step mothers house, in your step mothers care, by another child, and that none of this occurred in your home or under your care.

    Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
    xoxo ~ Sarah





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    Default Re: social services

    Depending on where you live, you can easily get evicted for this or forced to move if you live near a school (even if you own the home). I would consult with a lawyer asap.

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    Senior Member nikki187's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    Thank you everyone. I went to see my step mother today to find out exactly what the social worker said, she said that it seemed to be just an oops moment made by an almost teenager and just asked for my first name and number just in case she has questions. She said that if the case closes we will know by the 19th of May. I am still going to talk to a lawyer about this next week.

    Thank you Sarah. I don't like to lie about things but I just got freaked out after she called me and told me that she told the social worker that I didn't do it anymore.I was thinking why in hell would you say that. I didn't know what I should say if the social worker did come by. If she does call and ask I will tell her that I still do it and explain it to her better.

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    Veteran Member MiraMichele's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahTime View Post
    I tend to lean toward the truth working out in your favor better than a lie... Once you lie it's very hard to recover if you are found out to be lying. If it were me personally, I would tell them that yes I do webcam modeling from a locked bedroom when the children are not present or are sound asleep - same as when I have sex with my husband which should be no different, right? I have adult website filtering on all computers except my own, which cannot be accessed without a password - they can check this if they want.
    I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with this, I would NEVER tell CPS if I worked in an adult industry job, especially if it is somewhere conservative like Melonie said in her post. Yes, they might find out one day, just like anyone in the adult industry that hides their job can get caught by their family/friends/work/etc.... I'm just saying from my experience with social services, they don't care and they will judge.

    I wish you the best in whatever you do decide to do though.

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    Default Re: social services

    Quote Originally Posted by MiraMichele View Post
    I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with this, I would NEVER tell CPS if I worked in an adult industry job, especially if it is somewhere conservative like Melonie said in her post. Yes, they might find out one day, just like anyone in the adult industry that hides their job can get caught by their family/friends/work/etc.... I'm just saying from my experience with social services, they don't care and they will judge.

    I wish you the best in whatever you do decide to do though.
    Well in Texas, it worked out okay in my favor to tell the truth. I can completely understand not wanting to be 100% truthful to a CPS worker especially in the south. However, the prospect of your word basically turning into being worth nothing could do more damage. Suddenly lying about your job could turn into "hmm what else is this person hiding or lying about?" It can just end up really bad.

    It just really is a tough situation to know what the best way is to handle it. Fortunately, it worked out okay for me. I don't doubt it could easily go the other way though.
    xoxo ~ Sarah




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    Default Re: social services

    I wholeheartedly agree with Sarah.
    "Yes, I do ___ and ____, but my child isn't exposed to any risk because ____ and ____" will surely go down better than being caught in a lie. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and I'm sorry you've had this scare.

    Edit: I'm in a totally different country, where different things are legal yet still stigmatised, and have heard from escorts (full-service escorts) who have liaised really well with social services at length. Because they've been honest about their intentions and practices. It's helped to calm my nerves about being a single mum in this industry.


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    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    Hi there. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I don't want to post identifying details of my vanilla professional life but I have a lot of experience in this and sadly I don't blame you for not trusting "the system". Unfortunately, in most areas these things turn out based on the specific personality and disposition of the CPS worker. There is no 100% advice I can give you other than to contact a parent's rights avtivist or some type of legal counsel with experience in these matters. I'll be sending you good vibes!
    Last edited by Kat w; 04-25-2014 at 06:46 AM. Reason: Spelling

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    Veteran Member ~*SwanPrincess*~'s Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    When my son was a year old my mother called social services on me. She knew I was stripping and thought that it made me an unfit mother. ( Of course she assumed I was on drugs, having sex for money, etc. None of which were true)
    She had no proof against me, so she just told them that she "thought" my husband and I were leaving our son at home in his crib all night home alone.
    Social services did look into us. They contacted my sons daycare, who had nothing but positive things to say about us. Then they came to our condo. They checked the fridge for food, and looked in his bedroom. The case worker asked me a few questions about my job. (My hours, what I did, etc.)
    When she left she told me she was slightly annoyed she even had to come and investigate us. She told me there were a lot of children in our city who truly needed help from social services, and calls from family members trying to stir trouble unnecessarily are ultimately a waste of time and resources. She was very non judgemental and before she left told me I was "lovely" and complimented me on my decorating. And this took place in the Bible Belt of the South!

    They sent my mother and us a letter saying that all claims were unfounded or something like that.
    I think even if they DO investigate you, it's because they got a call and they HAVE to. There are kids out there who need their help, but if they check up on you and see you have a normal life, I'm sure they won't cause you any problems.

    I know it's a scary thing to go through, but I have a feeling you will be fine.

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  29. #19
    Featured Member Magical_Hoohah's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    Some similar issues were discussed in this thread: https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...58#post2594058


    I don't really know what to say about your situation, because Kansas is politically weird and tends to have some very antiquated ideas about women's issues, LGBT rights, and sex in general.


    On the other hand, I know for sure that social service workers everywhere are required to "resolve case discrepancies." What that means is that if something about your story doesn't add up, they are *required* to ask questions until everything makes sense again. For example, if you apply for Food Stamps, and you say that you spend more money each month than you earn, that's not possible. So the worker is required to get an explanation. Are you borrowing money, does your mom pay your rent for you, are you 6 months behind on your electric bill, are you dealing drugs, how can we make the math add up? Hint: "The Lord provides" is not an acceptable answer to the question.

    In your case, I think the issue of the porn on the tablet isn't a big deal - everyone's story should line up, it was an accident, and it wasn't your fault in any way. Regarding camming, I can see some discrepancies occurring.

    If you say you DON'T cam anymore, they may look around at your lifestyle and wonder how you're feeding and clothing your kids. They'll know if you're getting government benefits, and they can probably find out easily how much child support you get. If it doesn't add up, the most logical explanation is that you're doing something illegal for money. They will get suspicious, and there will be a lot more questioning. At that point, they will probably assume the worst until you prove otherwise.

    If you say you DO cam, the question is, "Why did your step-mom tell us that you quit?" That question has a bunch of easy and believable answers, such as "I told her I stopped because she didn't like it" or "I quit for a while and then started again, and I haven't told her yet." They don't know what kind of camming you do - you could easily be a non nude model or a Domme. As long as your child isn't involved in any way and isn't neglected, they shouldn't have any business investigating EXACTLY what you do on cam on a daily basis.


    Of course, laws, rules, attitudes, and social services policies vary between states and counties, so if you choose to tell them that you cam, it's possible that you're taking a risk. You need to evaluate that for yourself. On the other hand, if you're going to lie, make sure that your story is pretty airtight and verifiable, because if it's not, you are definitely taking a risk.
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    Veteran Member sexyred's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    I work daily with CPS, not as a caseworker, but specifically with kids removed from the home. I have a different experience with them. As long as the line of work is legal, that alone is not grounds for removal. We just had an open case where the mom was a stripper, but that had nothing to do with the case at all and wasn't even brought up, as the allegation was surrounding physical abuse. It is very, very expensive to keep kids in placement and overall I feel everyone I work with is fair and thorough and genuinely have everyone's best interest at heart. Of course there are exceptions to this, and every allegation must be followed up on.

    It sounds like it's going to work out for you though... I'm glad!

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  33. #21
    Senior Member nikki187's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    If she does call I will just be honest about it and tell her that I didn't tell my step mom that I was doing it again. I don't know if it is the same thing but when I first moved back her after leaving my husband at the time I signed up for food stamps and the few social workers I met were very nice.

    Yeah there is nothing else going on here, like abuse or neglect so I think I should be fine.

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  35. #22
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    Default Re: social services

    Quote Originally Posted by nikki187 View Post
    If she does call I will just be honest about it and tell her that I didn't tell my step mom that I was doing it again. I don't know if it is the same thing but when I first moved back her after leaving my husband at the time I signed up for food stamps and the few social workers I met were very nice.

    Yeah there is nothing else going on here, like abuse or neglect so I think I should be fine.
    I hope everything works out and you can put this behind you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: social services

    If anyone questions "why would cps even care?"
    You ARE basically shooting porn from your home.
    Sure its amateur porn, BUT it IS porn, legally.

    Some places will ONLY see it as if you are shooting porn from your home
    where you live with your child, regardless if you are doing it alone or not.

    This is just a reminder of all the red tape, and strings attached to camming...
    Its not easy, un-trackable fun money, and if not handled right you can lose your jobs, home, (yes you can get evicted legally)
    notability AND children.
    And if you fail to pay taxes, its pretty safe to say you will end up in HUGE trouble.

    If you arnt comfortable being honest, the best solution is say it was made for a boyfriend
    and it got leaked online.
    I had to do this one time at an apartment complex when one of the people who worked in the
    office (it was also a "friend" with loose lips.) came snooping.
    Americanmade18 on most sites.

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    Default Re: social services

    It is best to be completely honest with CWS. Being in foster care, I have dealt with them my entire life and believe me they do NOT want to take children from their parents, they just want to ensure the kids are safe. They only really take children away if there is real danger. If you tell the truth I'm sure they'll see it was just an accident and you doing adult work is just a coincidence.

    If you lie, I'm sure they have ways of finding out. They fins everything out lol.

    I had a run in with them when my daughter was a newborn.. (I lived with her father and grandmother in a filthy house) I just did what they said, they closed the case and I haven't had any problems.. It was a different situation though.


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  41. #25
    Senior Member nikki187's Avatar
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    Default Re: social services

    Social services never contacted me and as of today they closed the case. Hopefully now we can all just move on. it
    Thank you everyone for all of your advice, I really appreciate it.

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