I went in last night to do the club's amatuer night. I was over prepared; my body was nicer- these girls were really relying on that black light, some were missing teeth, my lingerie was real- not an old string thong and a ripped piece of cheap lace as a top, my hair and makeup were impeccable, and I was prepared to fucking work it.
I showed up early (around midnight) and ended up watching the house girls take the stage for an hour. There was no actual stripping, because there wasn't much to take off. Instead they immediately started humping customer's faces (there was no rail so it was easy). Most went straight to rubbing their tits over the customer's mouths, or having the customer stand up so they could thrust their asses into his crotch, grinding and banging- not as a novelty high tipper move, just run of the mill couple bucks stage set. The girls did a lot of pussy rubbing with fingers and money. There was really no sensuality- just glazed over eyes and trying to top each successive person's mileage; who could robotically shove a guys head deeper between her buttcheeks.
I saw a couple lap dances as well- heavy grinding, no build up, just sit in his lap and hump with your tits on his face, or turn upside down and do ass to chin. They were good at what they were doing- smooth, fast, efficient, athletic. But sitting there I realized I wasn't prepared to compete with them onstage by rubbing my bare pussy on someone's face. I hadn't seen anyone be led to VIP, but if everything was given away on stage I didn't think I'd be prepared for whatever was going on back there either.
There was a point where I realized it wasn't worth it to me that night (and I had a whole lot invested). That my chances of doing well were so low it would just be an embarrassment. So I walked out. And I felt like shit because I thought I was prepared but didn't have the cojones.
It's a shame because the customers weren't bad- some well dressed cholo boys who were very respectful even when being humped off the stage- they still didn't touch where they weren't supposed to and smiled appreciatively if anyone did anything special with their twerk, a bored (or very drunk) white boy watching the stage through the grinding of his lap dances- must have been sitting there for four or five songs at least. There were a few older men who were very clean and seemed happy just to be there- to talk to the girls, watch them dance, buy private dances. The management was also very nice and seemed professional.
So now I have to decide whether to sell my shoes because I don't have what it takes, or to check out the other less divey clubs in town? I feel like part of being a stripper is having a tolerance for basically anything...and I failed that test without even getting on stage.
Any advice?
***Hahah, I just saw in "similar posts" that there's a Chickened Out post about once or twice a year- reading about everyone's first night jitters and shakes was really comforting. Thanks for always being patient with the newbies ladies.



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