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Thread: I Chickened Out

  1. #1
    Veteran Member HallelujahHopkins's Avatar
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    Default I Chickened Out

    I went in last night to do the club's amatuer night. I was over prepared; my body was nicer- these girls were really relying on that black light, some were missing teeth, my lingerie was real- not an old string thong and a ripped piece of cheap lace as a top, my hair and makeup were impeccable, and I was prepared to fucking work it.

    I showed up early (around midnight) and ended up watching the house girls take the stage for an hour. There was no actual stripping, because there wasn't much to take off. Instead they immediately started humping customer's faces (there was no rail so it was easy). Most went straight to rubbing their tits over the customer's mouths, or having the customer stand up so they could thrust their asses into his crotch, grinding and banging- not as a novelty high tipper move, just run of the mill couple bucks stage set. The girls did a lot of pussy rubbing with fingers and money. There was really no sensuality- just glazed over eyes and trying to top each successive person's mileage; who could robotically shove a guys head deeper between her buttcheeks.

    I saw a couple lap dances as well- heavy grinding, no build up, just sit in his lap and hump with your tits on his face, or turn upside down and do ass to chin. They were good at what they were doing- smooth, fast, efficient, athletic. But sitting there I realized I wasn't prepared to compete with them onstage by rubbing my bare pussy on someone's face. I hadn't seen anyone be led to VIP, but if everything was given away on stage I didn't think I'd be prepared for whatever was going on back there either.

    There was a point where I realized it wasn't worth it to me that night (and I had a whole lot invested). That my chances of doing well were so low it would just be an embarrassment. So I walked out. And I felt like shit because I thought I was prepared but didn't have the cojones.

    It's a shame because the customers weren't bad- some well dressed cholo boys who were very respectful even when being humped off the stage- they still didn't touch where they weren't supposed to and smiled appreciatively if anyone did anything special with their twerk, a bored (or very drunk) white boy watching the stage through the grinding of his lap dances- must have been sitting there for four or five songs at least. There were a few older men who were very clean and seemed happy just to be there- to talk to the girls, watch them dance, buy private dances. The management was also very nice and seemed professional.

    So now I have to decide whether to sell my shoes because I don't have what it takes, or to check out the other less divey clubs in town? I feel like part of being a stripper is having a tolerance for basically anything...and I failed that test without even getting on stage.
    Any advice?

    ***Hahah, I just saw in "similar posts" that there's a Chickened Out post about once or twice a year- reading about everyone's first night jitters and shakes was really comforting. Thanks for always being patient with the newbies ladies.
    Last edited by HallelujahHopkins; 04-26-2014 at 09:08 AM.

  2. #2
    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    Sell the shoes. Strippers are sex workers. It you can't tolerate even the idea of physical contact with the customers, then you aren't going to be able to do this job professionally. Burlesque might be more to your liking. The fancier the clubs, the more discreet the customers are. But that doesn't stop even wealthy and educated men from occasionally whipping it out in VIP. When a customer drops several hundred or even thousands of dollars on a girl, they have fairly high expectations of contact.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    From your description it sounds kinda dirty there. Try a different club. Not every place requires virtual pussy-to-mouth contact to make $$.

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    Veteran Member MiraMichele's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    Well that place does sound kind of trashy. I say go check out the classier clubs before selling the shoes. If you feel uncomfortable even at a classier place then I would say dancing probably isn't for you. Like Tourdefranzia said, anywhere you work you are going to have guys get grabby and "whip it out" and if you can't handle the thought of this then also, dancing isn't for you because it happens to all of us.

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    I would try a nicer club. Clubs vary a ton. Try something a little nicer. You seem prepared. Keep in mind though that you might have to start " mid tier " and get some dancing experience. If its not your thing, that's ok too!

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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    after seeing something like that, i don't blame you at all for chickening out. i've been dancing for several years and i would have ran out of that place. i can tell you that i have never, nor WILL i ever, rub my pussy on some dude's face for a dollar. DEFINITELY check out classier clubs. if these girls were missing teeth (and doing nothing to replace them), then it is of my humble opinion that they are desperate and hungry, which can lead to extreme rowdiness.

    that being said, yes, you're going to see some people try to compete with dancers who have better hustling skills by offering sexual services. this does NOT mean you have to. but if the behavior of others is going to crawl under your skin, then dancing is not for you at all--it's each man out for himself in this industry.

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  8. #7
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    Holy shit...I can't imagine that being my first experience. I would've left the club too! Good for you for following your gut.

    Try a different club!! You've seen the worst - it's only up from here!


  9. #8
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    Agreed... definitely check out other places. And honestly, if you really want to work at that club, you may be better off just checking it out on a different night. Sometimes a club can have a really rowdy feel to it on the weekends and then be totally laid back during the week. It's all different.

    Also remember that every girl has her own hustle. At my club (and I think at most clubs) there are definitely girls who consider a lap dance a three minute dry-hump, and who have no issues letting customers touch them, doing extras, etc. On the other hand, I'm super shy and I have a girl next door hustle... I act super coy and flirty, and don't really allow as much contact as most girls at my club. And I still make money. I mean, you can't really do air dances when the norm is heavy grinding, but there's not a one-size-fits-all formula even in the same clubs. There are girls who make money because they're incredible dancers, girls who make tons of stage money, girls who are in VIP all night, girls who make money off conversation. You can learn to develop a stripper personality you're comfortable with.

    Try a few more clubs before you sell the shoes. If it's really not your cup of tea, that's cool too. But at least give it a fair shot.

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    Veteran Member Fionaver's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    I've always done well as a dancer with no contact. I might as well have 'air dancing ice princess' tattooed on my forehead. Some of that is regional - I can get away with no contact in my area of the country. Where was this? We may be able to weigh in on if that's a high contact area or not.

    And, sweetheart? Being a stripper is about being true to yourself and what your boundaries are - we all sort of end up outside the norm as far as the whole 'taking our clothes off for strangers' thing goes. Doing anything that compromises you as a person, psychologically and/or physically, will only damage you. In a way that no amount of money can make up for. It's about standing up for yourself and what you're ok with - not putting out whatever someone feels like they're entitled to for a dollar. You'll see some shit in this job - it isn't a walk in the park - but as far as the day-to-day grind goes... don't do it to yourself. Shop around.

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    Veteran Member HallelujahHopkins's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    I wasn't put off by the idea of contact so much as I didn't want to go up and be preforming at such a different tempo that I'd be laughed off the stage and have a really negative experience, make no money at all, and maybe not even be hired for failure to match the club's pace. I'm not worried about guys whipping it out, or even lunging for a lick/grab, I was worried about the idea of having to deal with it then going home broke if I choose not to permit it, and that was what threw me off.

  14. #11
    Veteran Member HallelujahHopkins's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    Thanks so much Zooey- I guess I was feeling unsure about what level of variety was acceptable- I also ran into another girl who was there that night auditioning (she'd been dancing out of town before) and even she said the girls were particularly aggressive, catty, and over the top with contact. She went on after I left and was hired with "a set with a little more class", and said she thought she'd still make money working there.

    I think if I had stayed to see how the crowd received even one dancer who deviated from the norm I would have had a lot more confidence (although from the look of her legs I bet she does a badass pole show). As it was I didn't want to be a daring pioneer my first night ever going on stage, especially with no secret weapons tucked in my garter.

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    Veteran Member HallelujahHopkins's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    "Doing anything that compromises you as a person, psychologically and/or physically, will only damage you."

    Thanks Fionaver, I realized reading this that I was compromising myself that night- not morally, but physically. I was exhausted. I'd had a rough week of sleep loss, went to my day job at 7:00am, worked all day, did errands, had my nap interrupted for a draining experience with some friends who needed my emotional support, spent a couple hours getting ready, then drove over already worn out and vulnerable at around midnight. Next time I should probably Diva Up by sleeping in, and having nothing else to do that day.

    It's hard to maintain the proper mental barriers, blast confidence, and smile daggers, when you're beat. Probably just as bad as drinking on the job.

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  17. #13
    Member chickentuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    I think you should try another club first. Maybe a different "chain" if it is one. They can vary a lot. We had a club in town that was notorious for going a little farther and many of the customers preferred this club for that reason. The club I worked for was more cautious of the law and if another girl went too far and it was noticed, she would get fired or the other girls would give her a hard time (for the most part, though there are exceptions to every club)
    In any case, research on here the options available to you and see if you can find something more suitable first.

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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    I have walked out of clubs like that. They don't sound like strippers but whores and I couldn't handle that for a minute. I would check cleaner clubs (and yes there are many)before deciding it wasn't for you.

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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    Quote Originally Posted by Tourdefranzia View Post
    Sell the shoes. Strippers are sex workers. It you can't tolerate even the idea of physical contact with the customers, then you aren't going to be able to do this job professionally. Burlesque might be more to your liking. The fancier the clubs, the more discreet the customers are. But that doesn't stop even wealthy and educated men from occasionally whipping it out in VIP. When a customer drops several hundred or even thousands of dollars on a girl, they have fairly high expectations of contact.
    I do not identify as a sex worker myself. But beyond that, there are many strippers who do light contact and do just fine, myself included. This club just sounds unsavoury and OP should venture out to some other venues. I've only seen 5 dicks in 8 years. That's not even once a year. This is because I do my research and choose my clubs carefully.

  20. #16
    Veteran Member HallelujahHopkins's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    UPDATE:
    I'm sitting here in a pile of money with bruised knees and gainful employment.

    You ladies reassured me that first club wasn't the norm so I grit my teeth and tried somewhere else.

    Holy shit. Second place I walked into was actually attractive on the inside- tasteful set up/furniture/lighting/bar. The manager was a smart, protective, no-nonsense woman who decided to audition me right away even though I'd just come in to watch (it was a Saturday so I figured it would be too busy for an audition- but I came in at 5 so there was time). She read me the rules- no boyfriends, no drugs, no extras, and said not to put up with any customer trying to get grabby, to have those guys kicked out immediately. The cocktail waitresses, bartenders, and DJ's were exceptionally sweet and helpful, and the dressing room was full of hilarious piss and vinegar badbitches who were really watching out for each other- taking a fucked up girl off rotation, sharing latex, giving each other shit for outfits that made a triple butt.

    My first few sets the girls even had their regulars tipping me, and came up to the rail themselves to tip when it got slow. I tried to reciprocate by passing on any info I had to the dressing room: Sending the woman with huge fake tits to the bachelorette party who just really wanted to grope other girls and giggle, telling the girl who didn't speak english about the relaxed couple on the floor who was looking for someone who spoke spanish.

    I tried to tip out the staff really well (not exorbitant, but a few dollars over) because they were so sweet to me- the two DJ's loved my name and would yell out "Amen!" after my sets and played me great songs, and the bartenders helped me shake down a drunk who was reluctant to pay.

    I did get asked for sex a couple times but I played my "I'm the good girl" pretty strong, and when it became onerous to deal with one guy in particular I just walked him to the bar to get change, got my money, and didn't dance for him again.

    I didn't break the bank, but I made about $100/hr without hustling at all- I hadn't stretched or eaten much because I thought I'd just be watching so I was taking it really easy, just a couple dances here and there when someone asked me (I tried to always look occupied though), and I didn't try to sell a second or third dance ever. I also left at 11pm right when it was getting busy (it's really an after-hours club because it's the only thing open downtown after the bars close). I figured I didn't want to overdo it on my first night and be afraid to come back.

    It felt like a fucking movie. I had a blast, felt completely comfortable, and am actually looking forward to it and to the game of draining the men dry of every dollar, of being a shark, a barracuda. And that folks is my fairytale ending to the chicken dance.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    ^ hang onto the new girl money and milk the new girl vibe for as long as you can! 100/hour is amazing

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  24. #18
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    that's so awesome to hear. Glad it turned around for you

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    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Chickened Out

    Glad you had a better second night. Clubs are all different, depends on the area too, different cities/states allow for more contact. I started out dancing in LA and now I'm in London and it's a whole other world, I've gone from the most contact you can possibly get to a totally no-contact zone. But definitely don't expect to get up there and do ballet and get tipped, or even really a burlesque dance, or even honestly, pole tricks-- it doesn't work that way, the guys just want to feel special when you're on stage, like you're dancing for them. I think the most disappointing thing to me when I started dancing was how little people cared about your actual pole-dancing skills and how little they care in general about stage, I made $2 the first time I went up and was like wtf? It still disappoints me. I don't do shit anymore on stage at my new club because I have to do 12 minute stage sets and I almost always have a customer request me from a host if it's busy in the club-- for the last 5 years I've been busting my ass and apparently humping the pole and shaking my ass as much as I can get it to shake is sufficient.

    That said, if you're not comfortable with something don't do it, cause you'll burn out and that angry, resentful-ness you have towards your job will seep into the rest of your life. You're lucky you have a good club so early!

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