Some of you may remember me but I'm sure a lot of you are pretty new by now.
So heeeeeey! Aria's stopping by for a little sisterly love.
I retired from camming...ummmm....about 2 years ago now I think. It was better for me and my boyfriend and my wallet if I went mainstream *eyeroll*. Don't get me wrong I looooooooooove my day job but the other day at my day job I had a guy offer me $500 for 3 minutes of like, no work (he just wanted me to watch him while he wanked) and I was like in my head thinking "Shiiiiiiiiiiit I wanna be all over this SO BAD!!!!" But I turned it down. *facepalm*. Not worth getting caught and getting fired. (Oh I'm a manager in a really nice hotel btw).
Anyway, the point is, I've gotten SOOOOOOOO fat!. I'm the heaviest I've ever been. And I'm not talking Hollywood fat I mean I've packed on the pounds over the years since retirement. I keep trying to get to the root of WHY I cant seem to get my weight under control but the moment I try to think about it too hard my mind is like "Oh look a squirrel!!!".
Today I realized that I started really gaining wait once I left the adult industry! I quit and then just got fatter and fatter and fatter. There is like, no outside force keeping me in check. My man loves me no matter what (dont get me wring thats GREAT!) but I don't feel the motivation to always look disgustingly fiercely savagely queen out of your darkest wet dream fuckable every day. I used to wear 6" stripper heels to the beach for chrissake!
My mind keeps wandering to escorting and how much weight I would have to loose in order to escort and what a great motivation that would be, etc etc. It's like, if I'm not making money off my looks and my body I just cant get a handle on it.
I dont really know the point of this post, I just think that I needed to get this honesty out there and need some support from people that might understand me when I say, "I think the only way I can stop myself from getting fatter is if I focus on a career where I fuck people for money" or "How did I gain all this weight so fast? Oh you know, I stopped fucking myself for cash on the internet".



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