^^To answer your question from before, I also have P.T.S.D. I'm not going to say why here in an open forum, but only that I understand how You feel.![]()





^^To answer your question from before, I also have P.T.S.D. I'm not going to say why here in an open forum, but only that I understand how You feel.![]()





Having PTSD.. is simply fucking exhausting.. I wish I could just relax.., speaking of nitemares I will often wake up out of a sound sleep for no reason whatsoever other than maybe I was dreaming that I am ALONE and will be forever...lol... Hypervigilance... yes always on alert ready to attack.. someone rings your doorbell... jump up and heart starts racing immediately... Something needs repair and breaks.. complete meltdown and anxiety.. NEED A DRINK to calm down.. I often have to talk to myself constantly and reassure myself it will be ok.. everything is going to be ok.. Just keep on doing what you are doing , stay on budget and calm down...LOL.. everything will work out. Well those are just a few of this insipidious disorder...
Please, can u give me some input here ladies? On friday i need to go for a magnetic resonance/ scanner test for my back, the pain is unbearable for me by now, in case they'll have to inject me that contrast solution to see better, will that make me feel sick after? cause i just dont know if i should go alone or take my son with me but he is working & having classes and has to make some arrangements at work & uni to be able to come with me at hospital. And if that thing makes me feel sick, how long that will last, the sickness? Anyone who can relate pls? Thank you!
I've had this done. The dye doesn't cause anything. When they first inject it, you'll feel like you're peeing your pants, it's a weird warmth sensation but it's normal and the nurse will tell you that beforehand, and you don't actually pee or anything lol. No side effects at all from the dye tho. I hope you get relief very soon.





Anon, I know exactly what You mean. I don't have any peace when I sleep, either, because I astral travel.. I always have. It started when I was a child, and the reason for having ptsd started then also,.. no coincidence there.
I've seen numerous Drs., sought out the therapy from numerous metaphysical practitioners, and nothing helps.
It has gotten worse since I started camming though, which worries me. only because I'm going to way darker places, and I'm scared that I won't come back.
A knock at my door, can send me through the roof with fear, and anxiety. That's why I try to do al home repaires myself, because having someone come in here, is torture for me as well.





Hi ladies. I'm starting to get sick but I'm keeping it at bay and I'm working through it. I've been taking Emergen C and it's been working wonderfully. I also take a shot of dayquil when I have to, lol. I need $$$ a little more this month than usual as I'm moving in 3 weeks so my cold will just have to take a back seatHope you are all doing well!
Believe In Your Brand





No multivitamins yet but I do wash my hands religiously!So far I've only experienced stuffy nose and dry throat in the AM when I wake up. Once I drink my emergen c in a hot cup of tea, I'm fine for the rest of the day. I have been fine until this morning as I had a runny nose but that's about all. It's like on the brink of trying to take over but I'm keeping it at bay so far if that's possible, lol.
Believe In Your Brand





Anyone else on lexapro and have 12 hour headaches as a side effect? I've been MIA for almost 2 weeks due to the change in medication and headaches. It's like 12 hours after I take it that I get one for 12 hours. ugh... I hate side effects.
Dear Body,
I know you are super sick today but I *really* need you to work today. We just can't afford another day off if we would like keep from being homeless.
You can do this! I have faith in you.
Love,
JAC
Does ADD count as an Illness? LOL I am totally kidding but I find it EXTREMELY hard to hang online for long periods of time especially when my ADD is at an all time high. Here are some tricks I try to implement when I am double camming or working 4+ hours straight.
* I don't drink any caffeine before my shift.
* I find something to keep my hands busy. Like a stress ball or play a background game that requires hand on mouse like online tetris etc.
* I talk to my free users more on days I am completely through the roof.
Just a couple of things I have tried. Anyone have any other suggestions?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]If things seem under control, you are just not going fast enough.





I am so fucking depressed and sad .. I have been crying on and off trying to buck up today.. I feel like I can't do anything right .. I am not good at anything.. I am so frustrated that I cant make anything in this life work for me.. and why people are just so against me all the time.. NO really they are.. that's why I named myself anonymous camgirl because I didn't want anyone to hate me... I just want to be happy and it doesn't seem like i'll ever get it.. I feel so confined, frustrated, restricted and limited in this world... I am getting really tired and want to give up... I feel so alone and have no one to talk to.. just my 24 yr old son and he is sick of hearing about my camgirl problems or any other problems I have.





You know what I hate about PTSD?? .. first you get it from people abusing you etc etc etc.. and then you get triggered and start yelling at people or something and then you get in fucking trouble... It's a double whammy.. I can't ever promise I'll be a good girl forever.. you can't expect people to be that way.. not with PTSD.. .. It's so hard to control something that is mentally challenging such as this.. I cannot control it.. so hard for me .. I can't ever say I can behave all the time.. I just can't promise it.


I really need some motivation and support to get back on cam... I found out yesterday that a friend who also struggled with depression and eating disorders committed suicide in the early hours whilst on a psychiatric ward. It's shaken me quite a bit, I'm struggling to get out of bed, but I really need to in order to make rent. I'm £55 short, and have other financial responsibilities. I don't know what to do. This sucks.





I had a friend who committed suicide after she turned 40.. it was a year ago I think? 2012 or 13... I still cry for her .. ... I tried to commit suicide in 2010.. I spent 6 days at the psych ward.. and boy was I treated badly by everyone who knew.. I received no compassion and support... Only by my oldest sister .. everyone else was just mad at me and kicked me.. and I regret everyday so far that I am still alive..../.. now I know what people really think of me.. .. so I get it!..
I feel you <3 I have PTSD and rapid cycling Bipolar... so you can imagine how exhausting that can be :/ 2 days ago I was depressed, yesterday morning I was fine and by evening I was hypomanic. And then of course the nightmares from my PTSD and all of the other symptoms just trigger my moodswings. oh the joy -_-
I feel you & know how it is, they get tired of us unloading our problems on them, mine is the same but i cant help it myself, he's the only one i have to talk to, we sacrifice ourselves to raise & educate them on our own but we sometimes feel they dont appreciate & take everything we do for them for granted. I get soo pissed on him sometimes but i know is also difficult for them to handle all these situations & problems. My son has a job now so i am in a way relieved he brings some money in the house too, even the salary is not that much we can use the money for his uni fees or emergency situations. He even transferred to learning at distance classes this 2nd uni year because he wanna keep the job, i cant handle it all on my own already considering i have severe back problems/ pain that makes work very difficult for me. Good luck & dont give up, i hope one day us devoted moms will find our path & the right person for us, there is always hope.
I have to go to the doctor's in a few hours. I am so anxious about the appointment I hardly slept at all last night.
I truly hate when I am my own worse enemy and make things harder on myself then they have to be.



The ugly beast depression has stolen weeks from me. Maybe even months. I just know that my earnings haven't been the same at all since I got bad news the last week of August. It took 10+ days to get back on cam and I never really found my groove again. Well, end of September came and something else bad happened (apartment flooded) and that threw me off for 2 days (legitimately) and then 7 days just because I haven't been coping with stress well. So now I'm standing at the crossroads of Fucked and You're Screwed. I feel like it's not a good thing to be such a desperate cam girl. No good can come of that. I don't really have any choice but to buck up and pull myself up from boot straps and shit. The other option? Hopelessness & despair. Well let's be real, I'm already there. I'm hopeful that I will get out of bed tomorrow and get on cam and try to make SOMETHING on SM before cutoff.
Depression is a horribly ugly beast. I've been battling it since about June. It got to the point where I didn't give two shits about anything, I even closed both of my camming accounts. Now I have to start all over again, somewhere. I don't want to go back to iml or sm. Iml tanked for me after about 6 months, and I never did make shit on sm. I have to figure out how to get my head clear, and refresh/reboot. I don't get excited about anything anymore, I hardly ever get out of my pajamas, and I am confused because normally this is my favorite time of year with the weather getting cooler and the crisp fresh air. I'm stuck in this funky fog and I can't see the way out, and most days I'm too fucking tired to bother looking for a map.
Bookmarks