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Thread: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

  1. #801
    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkpink View Post
    The ugly beast depression has stolen weeks from me. Maybe even months. I just know that my earnings haven't been the same at all since I got bad news the last week of August. It took 10+ days to get back on cam and I never really found my groove again. Well, end of September came and something else bad happened (apartment flooded) and that threw me off for 2 days (legitimately) and then 7 days just because I haven't been coping with stress well. So now I'm standing at the crossroads of Fucked and You're Screwed. I feel like it's not a good thing to be such a desperate cam girl. No good can come of that. I don't really have any choice but to buck up and pull myself up from boot straps and shit. The other option? Hopelessness & despair. Well let's be real, I'm already there. I'm hopeful that I will get out of bed tomorrow and get on cam and try to make SOMETHING on SM before cutoff.
    Quote Originally Posted by reversecowgirl View Post
    Depression is a horribly ugly beast. I've been battling it since about June. It got to the point where I didn't give two shits about anything, I even closed both of my camming accounts. Now I have to start all over again, somewhere. I don't want to go back to iml or sm. Iml tanked for me after about 6 months, and I never did make shit on sm. I have to figure out how to get my head clear, and refresh/reboot. I don't get excited about anything anymore, I hardly ever get out of my pajamas, and I am confused because normally this is my favorite time of year with the weather getting cooler and the crisp fresh air. I'm stuck in this funky fog and I can't see the way out, and most days I'm too fucking tired to bother looking for a map.
    I find it is good to add clips into the mix for the days that I find that I am brain dead from depression and don't want to interact with anyone at all. I've never been able to replace my camming income with it but anything is better then zero, right?

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  3. #802
    Veteran Member reversecowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    At this point, for me, yes anything would be better than zero repeatedly. What is that site you were talking about before, where I could try that out? Or is there more than one?

  4. #803
    Veteran Member reversecowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Well I guess spilling my guts about being depressed, somehow lifted something somewhat. I applied for MFC this morning, and am thinking about Cams.com also. I can't (won't) do anything until my period ends, and it just started last night, so we'll see. I want to do things differently this time, maybe be more myself, bitchy etc. LOL Hiding my mood on cam 24/7 is exhausting to me, I need to embrace my moods and just go with it this time I think. I'm ready to get out of this funk, live life again and have fun, and get paid to do it, I was doing great six months ago, I know I can do it again, I want to do it again.

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  6. #804
    God/dess SoloDesire's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by reversecowgirl View Post
    At this point, for me, yes anything would be better than zero repeatedly. What is that site you were talking about before, where I could try that out? Or is there more than one?
    Clips4sale is the site I make the most on for selling clips! Check out the site and look at all of the different fetish categories and go from there. Have fun with it!

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  8. #805
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    I kinda agree with that.. just fucking show up on cam.. really.. unless you are profusely crying and can't stop.. just go on.. no matter what mood you are in.. you will make money.. just don't get in trouble...lol.. that's what I do .. I don't have a choice I have 3 people to support and currently this camming industry is my only source of income!.. When you have NO choice you just do.

    Can I tell you that when sm suspended me a few days ago for no fault of my own I felt so fucking shitty.. read my posts on this thread on 10/2 I literally was contemplating suicide .. I stayed on cam for 13 hours WITHOUT SM.. and I made 442 bucks.. even wiping the tears from my swollen eyes all day..
    That's an extreme example.. the next day I was feeling good cuz I made all that money.. so I made 236 the next day!

    Quote Originally Posted by reversecowgirl View Post
    Well I guess spilling my guts about being depressed, somehow lifted something somewhat. I applied for MFC this morning, and am thinking about Cams.com also. I can't (won't) do anything until my period ends, and it just started last night, so we'll see. I want to do things differently this time, maybe be more myself, bitchy etc. LOL Hiding my mood on cam 24/7 is exhausting to me, I need to embrace my moods and just go with it this time I think. I'm ready to get out of this funk, live life again and have fun, and get paid to do it, I was doing great six months ago, I know I can do it again, I want to do it again.

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  10. #806
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Dear Goddess of dildos, I need to get my antidepressant increased, or at least take it regularly. I've been slacking so badly and flipped out on my bf, now I feel bad. On the upside, I'm hot and make money. I just hate snapping at people, I'm really not mean
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    "Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn!"-C.S. Lewis
    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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  12. #807
    Veteran Member reversecowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous camgirl View Post
    I kinda agree with that.. just fucking show up on cam.. really.. unless you are profusely crying and can't stop.. just go on.. no matter what mood you are in.. you will make money.. just don't get in trouble...lol.. that's what I do .. I don't have a choice I have 3 people to support and currently this camming industry is my only source of income!.. When you have NO choice you just do.

    Can I tell you that when sm suspended me a few days ago for no fault of my own I felt so fucking shitty.. read my posts on this thread on 10/2 I literally was contemplating suicide .. I stayed on cam for 13 hours WITHOUT SM.. and I made 442 bucks.. even wiping the tears from my swollen eyes all day..
    That's an extreme example.. the next day I was feeling good cuz I made all that money.. so I made 236 the next day!
    I did see all of that. I couldn't believe it. I quit sm along with iml. I am so glad they worked that out for you tho, and that they admitted it was their fuckuppery. You didn't need the trouble for sure. And thank you SO much for posting about your earnings, because that is exactly what I need right now to be reminded of, the potential magic that is out there. I get so into my own head, and I get stuck in this vortex of "what's the point", or "I'll do it tomorrow", or "fuck this shit" and I KNOW I do it to myself, but in the moment (which is like every five moments) it's on fucking repeat in my head and then my nerves kick in since I haven't been on cam in decades it feels like, and THEN I'm like "Well dumbass you did this to yourself again!!" I really feel nuts when I am so deep in it, and I don't tell anyone because I am afraid they'll think I am nuts or just plain stupid. I don't even tell husband how I feel really or how I talk to myself in my head lol! He'd prob just say "Get your hot ass on cam baby!" and knowing me, that would piss me off too, so I am a mess right now and I just keep it to myself. Good Lord, sorry for the rambling, once I get going I can't shut the fuck up. Love you ladies tho, and it does feel good to get some of this shit off my brain.

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  14. #808
    God/dess anonymous camgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    ^^ ok seriously!.. if there is one thing I have learned about cam in the last 12 yrs.. it sure does teach you ALOT about life.. more than you ever knew , more than you think it can.. don't worry .. I have the same thoughts that I am so annoying to everyone and no one wants to even hear my thoughts or speak to me... oh and I calculated my earnings again on the 2nd day.. it's $252... someone joined my fan club on ifriends when I was sleeping haha. Girl!.. just get online ..

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  16. #809
    Veteran Member reversecowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    thank you for hearing me!!!

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  18. #810
    Veteran Member pinkpink's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Well I did not get out of bed today. I ended up getting on the phone with my sister and crying my eyes out. I guess in 1 week I am going to move in with her and her boyfriend. It's a chance to live rent-free and get back on my feet, so I feel like I should do this. Save money and get myself back in a good place, mentally. Force myself to eat meals, get out of bed, go outside. Of course my sister knows nothing of my camming so this is going to be an epic change and obstacle for me. I will really only be able to cam during the week ~9-5. I will just have to work on phone sex, texting, and making clips. They think I do freelance work so I will have to start doing that for real. So, maybe that will be good too. More baskets, more eggs, get into writing & crafting more. I don't know. I just know my lease is up in 10 days and I can't stay in this hellhole anymore, I don't have the money to move into a new place and I'm just in a really bad space mentally. This sucks. But I guess I have to say that I am super grateful I have a support system there to help me through these next few months. Even if it means, loss of freedom, no more smoking weed and drinking all night on cam. I'll survive. I have to. Expect me to vent here, SW, a lot more I bet.
    Quote Originally Posted by funismymiddlename View Post
    a good hustle and raised prices make anything possible.

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  20. #811
    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by reversecowgirl View Post
    At this point, for me, yes anything would be better than zero repeatedly. What is that site you were talking about before, where I could try that out? Or is there more than one?
    I use clips4sale.

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  22. #812
    Veteran Member reversecowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkpink View Post
    Well I did not get out of bed today. I ended up getting on the phone with my sister and crying my eyes out. I guess in 1 week I am going to move in with her and her boyfriend. It's a chance to live rent-free and get back on my feet, so I feel like I should do this. Save money and get myself back in a good place, mentally. Force myself to eat meals, get out of bed, go outside. Of course my sister knows nothing of my camming so this is going to be an epic change and obstacle for me. I will really only be able to cam during the week ~9-5. I will just have to work on phone sex, texting, and making clips. They think I do freelance work so I will have to start doing that for real. So, maybe that will be good too. More baskets, more eggs, get into writing & crafting more. I don't know. I just know my lease is up in 10 days and I can't stay in this hellhole anymore, I don't have the money to move into a new place and I'm just in a really bad space mentally. This sucks. But I guess I have to say that I am super grateful I have a support system there to help me through these next few months. Even if it means, loss of freedom, no more smoking weed and drinking all night on cam. I'll survive. I have to. Expect me to vent here, SW, a lot more I bet.
    Vent away, I will listen. I can't offer much more than a virtual hug, but that is something. so here, ((big fat hugs))

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  24. #813
    Veteran Member reversecowgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by justanothercamgirl View Post
    I use clips4sale.
    I did check that site out, but they require an actual paper signature, and I don't have a printer. I live too far out, so running a block down the street to somewhere to print that out, isn't an option. I don't know right now if it'd be worth me driving an hour n a half just to get a printed copy of the paperwork, and how much trouble that would be? So for now, that's on the very very back burner for me. (that hour n a half is ONE WAY by the way lol)

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  26. #814
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by reversecowgirl View Post
    I did check that site out, but they require an actual paper signature, and I don't have a printer. I live too far out, so running a block down the street to somewhere to print that out, isn't an option. I don't know right now if it'd be worth me driving an hour n a half just to get a printed copy of the paperwork, and how much trouble that would be? So for now, that's on the very very back burner for me. (that hour n a half is ONE WAY by the way lol)
    Fair enough! I know there are other sites out there that other girls use that are options but I only really personally sell on C4S. You just need to find a clip store option that works for you.

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  28. #815
    Veteran Member sophiesecrets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoloDesire View Post
    Clips4sale is the site I make the most on for selling clips! Check out the site and look at all of the different fetish categories and go from there. Have fun with it!
    same here, its my bill/savings money. sm is quick cash money on sm, i have set up on daily pay... i know... but its only purpose is to be there when i need cash the next day. freeing me up to focus on clips. theres really no limit on how much u can make when u find ur niche. u can start a website with a monthly sub, i know girls who make 10's of thousands a month...

    oh and about the topic, i have horrible anxiety, ADHD, and a broken jaw that never healed right, so i have to have more surgery... camming can be difficult at times, i know. i try to stay positive, thats what gets me thru. i pretend if i have to. i cant let depression get me... not again. its a race! lol. and thats how i think of it... have to keep my head above water, and do what i can do when i can, and relax when i cant... i had to rewire my brain... and thats a challenge too lol, because im very hard headed lol.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]



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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    I'm kinda down right now. I help care for my gram and at the beginning of the month she was kinda unresponsive and just super tired. Rushed to the er turns out she had a UTI and was on antibiotics. A few days to a week later she got diarrhea and her dumbass nurse was all oh she's ok now so it went on for like 2 weeks. One day her legs just gave out and we thought dehydration so back to the er. She was admitted for UTI again. I went home but my pap went back and said a nurse made a remake that we're not giving her good enough care because she's in the hospital to much. Then some how it got twisted to she fell. When her legs gave out my pap and I was holding her and her van driver helped us set her on a chair so her knees never touched the ground. Turns out she had c diff and her dr asked if she wanted to go to a rehab and she cried and said no and her dr was fine with that. We brought her home and she was super weak so a social worker from the hospital called and was trying to talk us into a rehab. She started raising her voice with my pap and he has a bad heart and can't take more stress so I hung up the phone. My gram agreed to rehab so we were gonna take her until the social worker called and said nursing home. Ok a mistake since rehabs have nursing homes in them but she kept saying that and saying we can't handle her anymore so nope not going. Sounds like they're trying to put her into a nursing home. So now I'm all depressed and shit because I don't want her to go to one. The rehabs were horrible I can only imagine what the nursing homes attached to them are like.

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  32. #817
    Veteran Member sophiesecrets's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by reversecowgirl View Post
    I did check that site out, but they require an actual paper signature, and I don't have a printer. I live too far out, so running a block down the street to somewhere to print that out, isn't an option. I don't know right now if it'd be worth me driving an hour n a half just to get a printed copy of the paperwork, and how much trouble that would be? So for now, that's on the very very back burner for me. (that hour n a half is ONE WAY by the way lol)
    hey girly, u can fill that out online and sign it with a digital siggy and they wont know the diff... i know from experience, i didnt have a printer either. seems like i took it to adobe reader and texted it in went to docu-sign online and signed it with a siggy close to mine and sent it in =)

    also u can insert it into word i believe, and then just do text boxes, then sign it on docusign =)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]



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  34. #818
    Veteran Member reversecowgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sophiesecrets View Post
    hey girly, u can fill that out online and sign it with a digital siggy and they wont know the diff... i know from experience, i didnt have a printer either. seems like i took it to adobe reader and texted it in went to docu-sign online and signed it with a siggy close to mine and sent it in =)

    also u can insert it into word i believe, and then just do text boxes, then sign it on docusign =)
    Can you explain to me how to do this in more plain speak? lolol! I will give it a go, if I can figure out what you are saying and how to do that, that is brand spanking new to me.

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  36. #819
    Veteran Member sophiesecrets's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    sure, i sent u a pm. =)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]



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  38. #820
    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    My health is becoming pretty unstable and because of my current living situation it is starting to look more and more like I might have to give up my camgirl career in about approximately three months for an undetermined amount of time.

    Nothing is for certain yet as of this date but the idea of being forced to give up camming cold turkey is a very bittersweet concept to me because my entire life for these last three years while I have been sick have been pretty much defined by both camming and by my happy family here on Stripperweb.


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  40. #821
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    I hope that is NOT the case we need you! Life is not the same without you.. I am always thinking about you even though I never meet you in person .. hoping you will have healthy stability.. that's the hardest thing in life to deal with the health problems.. Love you girl! xoxoxoxo

    Quote Originally Posted by justanothercamgirl View Post
    My health is becoming pretty unstable and because of my current living situation it is starting to look more and more like I might have to give up my camgirl career in about approximately three months for an undetermined amount of time.



    Nothing is for certain yet as of this date but the idea of being forced to give up camming cold turkey is a very bittersweet concept to me because my entire life for these last three years while I have been sick have been pretty much defined by both camming and by my happy family here on Stripperweb.


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  42. #822
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by sophiesecrets View Post
    hey girly, u can fill that out online and sign it with a digital siggy and they wont know the diff... i know from experience, i didnt have a printer either. seems like i took it to adobe reader and texted it in went to docu-sign online and signed it with a siggy close to mine and sent it in =)

    also u can insert it into word i believe, and then just do text boxes, then sign it on docusign =)
    I've done that too - a bit complicated but works great.

    There are also some places where you can upload a file and they print and mail it to you in about a week: http://www.mgxcopy.com/products/black-and-white-copies


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  44. #823
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    This last week I slacked off so damn bad. Because so many demons came back to haunt me. I thought about what went on sex wise in my previous relationship. A lot of that stuff has scarred me. I thought at the time it would be good sexual experience and make me more valued as a partner, but it didn't. I realize now it broke me the fuck down. A lot of the stuff that went on I didn't really agree to, but its not assault if you don't say no at the time right? Of course it is, but yeah, dealing with this made me not want to be fucking myself on cam for guys. I am back now though and thankfully the reception has been good so far.

    Just wondering how I deal with this from this point onward. I feel like everything that happened sexually was the opposite of what I needed but I was too weak to say otherwise at the time. I am scared that I will never be in a functional relationship again as this is what has become normal for me.

    This nonsense has messed with my head and made me sad when it comes to camming. I can't handle another bout of depression again, my bills will not get paid. Hoping this blows over or I can forget about it for now and just focus.

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  46. #824
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    I started camming because i'm a "sick girl". I suffer from major depression with borderline tendancies, and have bad social anxiety/panic attacks. I could hardly get myself out of bed for my vanilla job most days and I sleep a lot. I wanted a job where I could work whenever I wanted to and didn't have to leave my house. I actually feel a lot happier lately because of the freedom this job offers.

    My friends poke fun at me because I'm the socially awkward penguin of the group but yet I'm also a naked girl on the internet. I definitely do not feel awkward or anxious when I'm online for some reason, and I can let my goofy personality come out right away.

    One thing that I'm finding difficult with this job is the motivation. I've managed to work almost every day but sometimes it's sooo hard to get myself out of bed, into the shower and all dolled up so I can get on cam, but I manage. It's also hard for me not to get discouraged when I have a shitty day but I've got the dollar signs in my eyes right now so I just keep plugging away and tell myself things will come around if I'm persistent.

    I also need to remember to actually go out and see friends a few times a week so that I don't feel isolated. I'm kind of worried what the winter will bring (it's always worse in winter) But I'm trying to go into it hopeful.

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  48. #825
    Veteran Member sophiesecrets's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club

    Quote Originally Posted by SimoneGray View Post
    This last week I slacked off so damn bad. Because so many demons came back to haunt me. I thought about what went on sex wise in my previous relationship. A lot of that stuff has scarred me. I thought at the time it would be good sexual experience and make me more valued as a partner, but it didn't. I realize now it broke me the fuck down. A lot of the stuff that went on I didn't really agree to, but its not assault if you don't say no at the time right? Of course it is, but yeah, dealing with this made me not want to be fucking myself on cam for guys. I am back now though and thankfully the reception has been good so far.

    Just wondering how I deal with this from this point onward. I feel like everything that happened sexually was the opposite of what I needed but I was too weak to say otherwise at the time. I am scared that I will never be in a functional relationship again as this is what has become normal for me.

    This nonsense has messed with my head and made me sad when it comes to camming. I can't handle another bout of depression again, my bills will not get paid. Hoping this blows over or I can forget about it for now and just focus.
    i feel where ur coming from... i was, am still in a similar situation. i dont even want to be sexual with him anymore because every time we are he wants to relive "it". hey im a camgirl right... should be just like a show right, no big deal... the demons it stirs up can wreck my mood for days...

    but it gets better =) little steps. if u can get on for an hour and u cn get a load of laundry done... be proud of urself.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]



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