I have to stay far far far away from xanax or anything like it. I tried that before, through a girlfriend of mine, and holy fuck I liked it WAY too much. No no no for me. I'm glad it doesn't grow on trees, or I'd probably be in a coma.
@JAC Thanks<333
TOTALLY understand. This is why I don't understand why psychiatrists don't do exactly what mine did: give me the lowest dosage, tell me to break it in half and use only as needed, and call for a refill if I ran out too quick. And when I think I'm developing an infatuation to medication, I give it to my sigfig, my friend, my roommate, and ask them for it as needed. It's a pain, but anyone who you see daily would rather deal with a slight inconvenience like that than have you get addicted.



You those days where you wake up and you immediately know that depression is going to be kicking your ass today? Yeah, I'm having one of those days. I have to find the drive to get on cam and film a custom clip....somewhere. I just want to go back to bed and sleep until I get a totally different day.
Last edited by thatgingercamgirl; 10-30-2014 at 12:33 PM. Reason: Can't get my coding right. Bah.





I dread drugs period. I started having panic attacks in 2003 and I literally tried so many drugs I cant remember them all. I had a bad reaction to the SSRI's so for four years I took Xanax daily and man, it was a bitch to quit. I had to taper slowly for four months and it was hell on Earth. Honestly I found that therapy works the best for me and once I learned to cope with panic attacks, it became better. I avoid even aspirin now.
I only recommend drugs if you have no other option for anxiety and panic attacks. I know it sucks and I know it can physically hurt. Some of these drugs make it worse and quitting is a nightmare.
It's good to know there's others dealing with the same things I am. Thanks for sharing girls!
I've been dealing with Depression off and on for the past few years, but within the past 3-4 months it's been horrible. There's days I just don't feel like doing ANYTHING. Then when I don't work, I know the bills are piling up and BAM...that sends me into panic attacks and depression.
I'm also currently starting different tests ordered by my doctor. I've had some neuropathy in my feet for quite some time, now it's in my left arm. The depression, fatigue, some weight gain, grrrr! I'm ordered for a spinal x-ray, blood tests, and I see a Neurologist in a couple of weeks. It's all a lot to deal with.
I've just had to tell myself and leave myself notes that I MUST get online and work. I've made decent money before, I can again. I also decided to leave the site/studio I was with because of some factors that were triggering the anxiety/depression. Hoping that works!
Big hugs to all of you! I'm glad we're all here to encourage and support one another![]()





Well girls!.. My Dr Schulze Nerve tonic is treating me RIGHT!.. my mood is so fricken relaxed and chill now.. I don't stress anymore and the money is coming.. that and some motivational speaker I was listening to .. can't remember if it was Bob Proctor or that guy that wrote the book as the man thinketh... something about not reacting...lol.. Oh and giving more than you receive in cash.. so yea.. I can't praise the Nerve tonic enough.. nothing but herbs.. pricey at $28 bucks a bottle ( 2 oz) but all you need is a half dropperful or so every now and then... feeling good.. You guys know how I am so stressed all the time... To blessed to be stressed!
P.S... I honestly don't know what's wrong with me!/.. I am NOT even bothered by the ASSHOLES.. I take all their shows with joy!.. I am also using a lot of the FEMALE tonic.. I feel like I used to feel in my late twenties before cam.. for those that don't know I am 42 next month.
I'm back on later today. I have to. I have to kick this illness/depression in the arse and get back on my hustle. I thank all of you ladies for sharing your experiences and advice. It's making getting back online so much easier![]()



Hello ladies! After a hiatus, I am finally back here.. figured I would jump back into it.![]()
I am disabled with severe Crohns' Disease, Stage 4 Endometriosis, Intersitial Cystitis, amoungst other things..
I look forward to really reading this thread, as it was a great idea - as well as, relating to so many of you, that are just like me in the bad health department.![]()
I will post my story soon.XO! Happy to be back and back in the game.
Even if it's just MGF.
xo
Twitter - xoForbidden
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*Chaturbate, MyGirlFund, CamContacts*
"The hardest part isn't figuring out what we need to be, it's being content in who we are."
- Miss Mafia
Sore joints, bad stomach, and nosebleeds oh my. And it's barely 9 a.m. At least I wasn't on cam when it all hit me at once. Fuck you lupus. Right up your ass.





This is one of those days I feel like shit and the sound of childrens' laughter irritates me![]()





Fall finally hit. The temp is cooler and windy today which makes my allergies go insane. My allergies and anxiety feed off each other and it sucks. Trying to keep my shit together today.![]()
I've got endometrios and severe depression from every single birth control they've tried. I went from being able to do privates on mfc to not being able to do it for fear of bleeding on cam. My camscore is dying now and I have a month or two before my op to try and make up the money I'm going to lose![]()
Darn illnesses.





Well! I have been having a hard go of it the last week.. whew!.. ringworm on the inner elbow, Yeast infection from sunblock for my face...LOL.. said breakout on face.. estrogen dominance causing my boobs to be blotchy and sore...LOL>.fun fun fun!.. it's always something at this age..
I woke up planning to try to get on cam today but I am just too tired to even deal with it.
![]()



Woke up early, got dressed, got on cam. Body started feeling weird and nausea. I don't feel pretty and I want to vomit. :-( Why is this happening? I have had a bad week with the audio issues on SM and now this. BLEH!!!!Had plenty of energy around 6 am, now I am drained.
I think it is because I took supplements on an empty stomach. :-( DOH




So I'm on the autistic spectrum, or Aspie if you like, and the tireder I get, the harder it is to cope on cam. The hardest thing for me is lying, which is such an essential part of the craft.
Most days it's ok, but here's one from today: "Are you enjoying this, baby?" - "This is ok, but I'd rather use this other toy."
Dude gets sadfeels and leaves. I take a good minute to remember I should bloody well lie as part of customer service.
Gah.




I thought my mysterious tiredness was starting to go away, but it's coming back around. Several days this week I've been able to handle a couple personal things that HAD to be done, and then I did grooming stuff, showered, did makeup and hair and all that shit, and... then felt so tired that I could barely move.
I think it might be stress getting to me. Normally I keep a pretty even keel, and I probably internalize everything, so maybe this is how it gets out. In my personal life, I'm putting out fires (metaphorically) left and right, and most of them are very expensive issues. I also suspect that I'm on the verge of separating from my husband, and I have absolutely NO idea how we'd work out the logistics. I'm just waiting to see if the other shoe falls on that one.
I know it's possible for stress/anxiety/depression to manifest like this, but I feel so oddly calm and resigned mentally. This exhaustion feels so completely physical.
Anyway, it took me all day to get through a few things and to get ready and be sitting here at my computer, ready to go. I'm going to try for an hour. If I make it on for an hour, I'll consider today a win.
Originally Posted by temptingmodel



Well I was gonna start on CC this weekend - until my Endo gave me the triangle of agony (I call it that.)
My endo started having a shit fit - then the Crohns started, then my bladder started... Rinse and Repeat.
All.Fucking.Day.
Been eating Zofran like candy, all day - with my cramp meds... and a pain killer here and there. Ugh. I can't stand it.
And I wish the DR could figure out after post hyst, why it keeps coming back - and now it's in my digestive tract and in my stomach.
GRRRRREEAAAT! I fail at life this weekend - that's ok though - health comes first, camming second. But at least I could work MGF and make some cash money.Gotta love just selling vids and pix. LOL
OH - and the drastic weather changes - makes my bones feel like they are breaking when I move... I got this nerve creme that has certain properties in it - and it's working pretty awesome for that.. That stuff usually doesn't. However, I still hate it - makes everything worse.
Twitter - xoForbidden
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"The hardest part isn't figuring out what we need to be, it's being content in who we are."
- Miss Mafia





Well ladies, it's the one month anniversary of my miserable GI issues. I wonder what I'm getting for a present.



Full Circle again today - I don't even have the drive to do anything but sell content and search for more things to upload.. Ugh.
Twitter - xoForbidden
Pinterest - xoForbidden
Yahoo Messenger - xo.Forbidden
*Chaturbate, MyGirlFund, CamContacts*
"The hardest part isn't figuring out what we need to be, it's being content in who we are."
- Miss Mafia



More bloodwork. More doctor appointments. More cramps and pain. More pain meds and muscle relaxants. More insomnia. My Dom/boyfriend is leaving in the early morning for a three day work trip to the Netherlands and I already miss him terribly. My joints and legs are so swollen I can't even get my feet into my flip flops, and my back aches from sleeping on the guest bed because my hubby had his girlfriend over for the weekend. *sigh*
On the bright side, my Domly-type FWB is coming over tomorrow for the night. I will be getting a much needed "attitude adjustment" from him. At least now I'll have some new bruises to photograph and sell.
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