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Thread: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

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    Default may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    So im finally allowed to be a stay at home mom, meaning I have ABSOLUTELY no financial responsibility. I am in school and slowly been decreasing my shifts to almost non existent. I am still in stripper condition and can still make money. I've tried to work these past couple of weeks and can't get in the zone. This weekend I did my makeup, hair and everything and then looked in the mirror and couldn't go to the club. I don't know if having no responsibility for bills is encouraging me to be lazy or what's the deal? Why can't I just go? I want to keep dancing until im able to, hopefully save a bunch of money because to this day, I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to show for my time dancing.

    Even if I just make a couple hundred a week, that money untouched will add up.

    Im not burned out because I haven't been working, like at all.

    Is it time for me to finally quit or have any of you ladies dealt with this little dilemma?

    I miss stripperweb too!! Any recommendations ?

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    Kind of reminds me when I finally got my legit day job to start my career. I thought I would be still dancing on weekends. I do, but I find myself doing it less often because I either don't have the time because of my career or am just too tired.

    When it comes down to it, even though I make less weekly at my day job (for now), I don't need stripping so much to help me financially. And because of this, when I think about having to go to the club, dealing with customer bullshit and annoying sloshed strippers at really late hours, I would rather stay home because I know I have that option rather than go deal with club bullshit.

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    Lol, i'm in the same boat! I swear, having absolutely no financial responsibilities has contributed to me having the poorest work ethic imaginable. I work two days a week, and even with that I call in one of those days about 80 percent of the time.

    I don't know if I'm just burnt out from stripping or if I've simply managed to transform into a full fledged dependasaurus. As much as I do enjoy having my own money, i keep going through these repetitive periods of time where I think about quitting. Blah!

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    i'm not married yet, but i am a mom..and i DREAD going into work lately. i've gone down to the required 2 shifts a week, and the day before i work im just overcome with this cloud of anxiety, depression, and dread. i'm not lazy or anything, but im just so sick of the club that even working 2 days is a struggle. if i didn't HAVE to work, i would imagine i would just walk in when i needed to. i've done some real thinking this week though, and narrowed down why i feel this way about work, and what the specific things that trigger it. for me, its the fact that i get in at 3:30 pm and have to sit there with no customers for like 5 hours before i start to make any money, so im taking shifts that are shorter and walking in later.
    i really feel ya, maybe its just time for a break? or maybe just a pick-me-up of some kind? maybe having a real goal that you are working towards, like a vacation, car, savings, etc.

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    I expect I'll be in your position at some point and personally my take is- get the $ while you can! I don't know about you but I just turned 29 (no kids, yet, but want to a few yrs) and I am very conscious of having the option to dance dwindle away. One day it will not be an option. Personally I also really like dancing (and hell, it's honestly a lot easier to enjoy it when you don't feel financially desperate!) I also really want something more to 'show' for my dancing days...so I'm going to attempt to save up a bunch to pay off a chunk of a home loan we got.
    Hell, save up 4000 and take your man on some awesome adventure! (That's one thing I don't regret...I blew most of my stripper dollars on international travel.) Work one or two days a week....when I go more than a week it gets harder & harder to just go the fuck in. (hah, sorry I'm giving myself a little pep talk right now since I haven't been in for 10 days!)

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    Not married or otherwise financially free, but just wanted to suggest that spacing out the days I work, instead of working 3-4+ days in a row, has made a noticeable difference in keeping physical/mental burnout in check.

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    get the $ while you can!
    ^^^ exactly ^^^

    While such things are difficult to think about when your life is going well, s#!t happens. Jobs are lost ... divorce papers arrive. As a mom you are still responsible for providing for your child. If your present situation were to go 'south', it's a lot easier to deal if you're sitting on a 'stash' of dancing earnings plus still able to immediately work as a dancer.

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    Quote Originally Posted by janesays22 View Post
    I expect I'll be in your position at some point and personally my take is- get the $ while you can! I don't know about you but I just turned 29 (no kids, yet, but want to a few yrs) and I am very conscious of having the option to dance dwindle away. One day it will not be an option. Personally I also really like dancing (and hell, it's honestly a lot easier to enjoy it when you don't feel financially desperate!) I also really want something more to 'show' for my dancing days...so I'm going to attempt to save up a bunch to pay off a chunk of a home loan we got.
    Hell, save up 4000 and take your man on some awesome adventure! (That's one thing I don't regret...I blew most of my stripper dollars on international travel.) Work one or two days a week....when I go more than a week it gets harder & harder to just go the fuck in. (hah, sorry I'm giving myself a little pep talk right now since I haven't been in for 10 days!)
    Vacation sounds ideal. Id also like to help putting a down payment on a house. Ill try to go in this weekend and see how it goes

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    I'm a new mom and also have a full time career besides dancing. While I like going in now, cause I don't really have to more than once or twice a week, it messes up my schedule because I need to sleep the entire next day, so my day job (I'm self employed) gets left behind.

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    I'm starting to try to get back into dancing shape (or buy new outfits to cover my flab) because my situation is changing. I've been a stay at home mom for a year and a half and haven't danced since last summer. I love not working and getting to spend the time with my kids. After my BF's last raise, he pretty much said "If you need any extra money(we have a joint account he puts bill money in), let me know so I can grab it on my way home" I think knowing that I really did not HAVE to be there had a major impact on working. I only worked 1 or 2 days, but I put in less effort and just dreaded the thought of being there. Now I have motivation to go make money. We're buying a house and I'm trying to convince my mom to move in with us because she is getting sick. I would basically work a to cover my mom's expenses because I don't think my mom is my BF's responsibility. Sometimes I wish I could go back and kick myself in the ass for not sticking it out and saving the whole time.

    I think that if you want to keep dancing, put all the money into savings. Make a goal, maybe $2000, and when you hit the goal treat yourself. Spa day, family trip to zoo for the day, go out to a nice dinner with your SO. Something to look forward to. The small goals will add up quick. Buy a house, pay off debt, leave it alone, or invest it to gain more money!

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    I was a stay at home mom for like 3-4 months. I was planning on doing it longer, but after some time passed I really missed dancing. I also hated having to ask my husband for money. I was used to having my own cash, and something about having to "ask" for $ didn't sit well with me.
    When I did go back , the money I made was used for vacations, "extra" things , and the majority of it was put in savings. Saving all that $ has been one of the best things I've ever done.

    Everything Melonie said ^ is exactly what happened to me. I had even married for 8 years to my "great" husband, my life was so easy and comfortable. Then out of NOWHERE it all came crashing down. Had I not had all that $ saved (a lot if it he didn't know about) I would have been sooo fucked

    Of course I'm not saying that would ever happen to you, but regardless, saving $ is always a good idea. Life is so unpredictable, ya know?

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    Default Re: may seem silly but dancers that are stay at home moms, or married?

    I feel the same way, OP. Things were getting really difficult for us so I went back to dancing (after 2 years off) a few months ago. Then DH decided to get his shit together PLUS we've moved in with his elderly dad to help take care of him while his mom is overseas, so now we live in a big house rent free. The plan is for us to stay here until I'm done with school. There's really no immediate need for me to work, but as others have said I like having my own money. DH pays for everything we need, but I would like to be able go shopping or out to eat with friends, or get my eyebrows did on my own dime without asking him for money...or explaining where our money went.

    I need to get off my ass and go audition. I keep getting ready-hair, makeup, nails, everything.....then sitting on the couch for a little too long and changing my mind.

    We're talking about going on our honeymoon this year (since we never got to) so I think I should plan a really nice trip to southern France or something and work to save up for that. Just make a huge $ goal. Wanting to have some extra pocket money isn't very motivating when you think about all the assholes you have to deal with to get it.

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