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Thread: Sorry, I need to vent :/

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    Sad Sorry, I need to vent :/

    ........................
    Last edited by KaraLynn; 05-20-2015 at 11:50 AM.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    You may have to dig for it a bit but Laurisa put together a great thread(one of many great threads actually) abt how to compete in brothel-clubs w/o resorting to hooking.

    Are you not able to look around for another club?

    I agree w/ avoiding bait&switch tactics as those just risk trouble on so many lvls. It is so frustrating tho, I have had moments where I would seriously consider slipping customers a roofie to fk them up w/ the intention of just getting them in the back to rape their wallets.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Every single guy wants to fuck.
    Yes, I know that's how it's always been, but in the past I was able to get dances out of people and make money without that being brought up.
    Lately, every single guy wants to ask if I'll fuck him in the back or if I'll go home with him if he buys one stupid dance......
    I can't even give a vague answer like, "I promise you'll have fun back there and won't be disappointed". When I won't say "Yes, I'll fuck you in the VIP room" or "Yes, I'll go home with you and have sex with you after the club they won't spend any money on me and will just go to the next girl.

    I won't say that to guys......I don't want to lose my job or potentially get arrested. I don't want to lie about what's going to happen back there and have to deal with that shitstorm once the dance is over. That'll stress me out and make me want to kill everything, plus that's not the way to get repeated customers.
    As a long time ... and now retired ... dancer, all I can say is 'welcome to the new normal'.

    - over the past few years, and with few exceptions, any questions that club customers might have had regarding whether or not they would find 'extras' available at a strip club has now been removed !

    - with the question of IF 'extras' are available having been answered in the affirmative, the question then moves to which dancers offer 'extras' versus which do not

    - thanks to strip club review sites, strip club customer blog sites, etc., in many cases club customers can now find out which particular dancers do offer 'extras' before they ever walk in the club's front door.

    - as such, when confronted with a 'new' dancer where the availability of 'extras' is in question, rather than invest money to find out the answer the 'old fashioned' way ... by buying private dances / VIP's and finding out for themselves that the 'new girl' isn't going to provide the 'extras' they are looking for ... customers now simply ask the question bluntly before spending any of their money, and move on to a different dancer if the 'new girl's' answer is no.

    Agreed that employing 'bait and switch', 'over-promising' etc. as a sales tactic is NOT a good idea these days. Not only can this lead to an ugly incident inside the club, but it could potentially lead to a even uglier incident outside the club. Keep in mind that, post Duke Lacrosse, post Dominic Strauss Khan etc. there is now an established pre-conception about girls involved in the 'adult' industry who wind up in 'confrontational' incidents involving well-heeled customers.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Is there no wanna dance clubs you could work at for a while.
    xoxo

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraLynn View Post
    I won't say that to guys......I don't want to lose my job or potentially get arrested. I don't want to lie about what's going to happen back there and have to deal with that shitstorm once the dance is over. That'll stress me out and make me want to kill everything, plus that's not the way to get repeated customers.

    ^^ Yeah, you're right there. Don't go that route, it's not worth it.

    Two things:

    1. How good are your conversation skills? How good are you at attuning yourself to a customers' emotional wants and needs, and attacking them in that soft spot? Try to be like Don Draper. Think about why he wants to be around sexy naked ladies -- is he lonely, and he wants to feel a connection? Is he worried that he's weak, and he wants to feel powerful? Does he think his life is boring, and he needs to have some crazy fun? You can figure these things out via subtle questioning, and provide customers with a very satisfying experience that involves very little sexual contact. It is absolutely vital to have top notch conversation and people-reading skills if you do not want to engage in sexual activity with your customer.

    2. If anyone propositions you, convince them that NO ONE in your club does that. Tell him that the manager will kick guys out or call the cops if they ask for sex. (I find a good line is, "Shhh! OMG, don't say that! If the bouncer hears you asking for that stuff, he'll be really rough with you. I don't want you to get in trouble… I want us to have some fun!") Tell him EVERY dancer who used to do that was fired. It is in your best interest to have customers thinking the most they can get is a smile and maybe some nudity if they're lucky. And I don't think it works to tell customers that you might get fired for providing extras, because they don't care.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Have you worked at that same club for a long time? Maybe it's time to switch clubs and get some new girl money. I have to switch clubs when I see money decline and need a change. Sometimes it's the that management/club declined, the quality of girls declined, or the customers get ruined from girls who suddenly start doing extras and want the same from me.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    ^^ This. If you have the option, try and switch clubs.

    My day club is absolutely disgusting. I hate the dances there. It's dirty for sure. When I was working the scheduled 4 days a week there, I couldn't take it and would actually avoid customers because I knew what was coming. But then I got sick and was only able to work there every once in a while. It got so bad at one point that all the decent girls left and the club was left with dirty girls. But then some good customers left and the club was forced to swallow their pride and ask some girls back. But now I only go back every once in a while, and get new girl money and people spend on me because they don't know when is the next time they are going to see me again. So customers that are used to dancing with dirty girls don't mind spending some money on me because the money spent on me isn't an everyday thing. It's almost like a treat to themselves to dance with me, even if I won't do that extra stuff. But ugh I don't even want to think about if I had to depend on that club for a living again.

    Also something that helped me a lot with the sex requests, but I'm not sure if you'd be comfortable with, was just telling them I have a boyfriend. You'd be surprised how much that brings these assholes back to reality and that they're at a strip club to spend money for dances not prostitution. Since I started being honest about having a boyfriend, I get a ton of new regulars now who had originally asked to meet outside the club but now understand that if they're going to see me, it's going to be inside the club.

    Also this works for giving out my phone number. I tell these clowns that anything they send me is available for my man to see so if they send anything scandalous, don't be surprised if it ends up on the Internet. So now my phone is filled with nice requests like "Are you working today?" "What's your schedule for next week?"

    Also I'm sort of a blunt bitch at my dirty club. So when a customer tries to haggle me or ask for stupid extras requests, I tell them straight up "I'm too pretty for that. I don't need to do that. Go find an ugly girl if that's what you want." I especially love to do this with the little dirty Latinos because I'm Latina so I tell them in Spanish "You wouldn't be able to get a girl like me outside of the club so if you're gonna get one like me in the club, you better pay up." They're bitchy things to say and I don't mean it towards any of the girls, but when I say this it shocks them back to reality that they are here to spend money on beautiful girls. the majority of the times, they end up getting dances with me. And if they start being ridiculous in the lap dance room, I don't even try to hustle for another dance and after they pay me I tell them they were absolutely awful and I'm leaving and they aren't getting dances from me again. All of a sudden there is apologizing and crying and begging for another dance.

    I'm the total opposite in my urban club. I'm a sweetheart there, but that's because most of the girls there have attitudes. The girls at my dirty club are sweethearts that don't set any boundaries.

    I love my bitch hustle. In my dirty club, I have to do it. If you let these motherfuckers know your fucking worth, they'll pay it.

    Good luck!

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    ^^ HAHAHA "I'm too pretty for that" I have to use this line! And you are so so so right about letting motherfuckers know that you're worth more money than they could ever give you. This is why I never negotiate down with customers. When customers approach me during half price dance specials, I straight up tell them that I don't do specials or cheap dances. Fuck that noise. I do not look or act like a bargain bin sale stripper and I will not be treated like one. Tough titties if a customer doesn't like it -- I don't look at work as a question of me deserving money, but rather as a question of customers deserving my time.

    Also to add to the above advice, I've had a lot of success with keeping guys in line by telling them about my fictional girlfriend. Instead of using a boyfriend to intimidate them, I use a girlfriend to distract them into behaving. In VIP I'll sit in the customer's lap and go on and on about how gorgeous my girlfriend is, how we giggle about being checked out when we go out at night, all the hot sexy lesbian sex we have, etc. 9/10 times, he's sitting there too mesmerized to try to grope me and he's definitely not thinking that I'm gonna be down to suck his dick. I get a lot of VIP extensions by doing this.

    This is another reason why I cannot stress enough the importance of being able to talk and entertain. Learn to talk!!! And yeah switch clubs if the customers are dirtbags. Then try these hustle techniques on gentlemen who are worthy of your exquisite presence.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Quote Originally Posted by BarbieNYC View Post
    just telling them I have a boyfriend. You'd be surprised how much that brings these assholes back to reality and that they're at a strip club to spend money for dances not prostitution.
    I wish this worked for me. I tell the guys that I'm not going to have sex with them period. I'm going to start telling them that I don't like guys who beg.

    If I don't work at the club very often and it's a new face, if they want to take me home I tell them that I'm leaving the city that night to go home, that I live far away, and I don't do long distance.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraLynn View Post
    To answer a few of the questions, this area is really limited on clubs. I haven't been here very long so I feel like perhaps the club and area is just bad for extras and meeting outside of the club. I think I'm just going to try to move states again and see if I can get some of my luck back.
    Maybe that area is just shitty to make money in general and out of your control. I recently had the misfortune to dance in a city an hour away from me since it's the closest big city to me without getting caught dancing. The first time I went I thought the night was a fluke so I tried it again on another different night. It was even worse and now I would rather drive a few hours on my off days to work in NYC when I stay with relatives than to go back to the closer city and make scraps. I honestly don't know how girls in that city make gas money.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraLynn View Post
    Smaller towns are usually harder for dancing because they don't attract a wide variety of clientele, everyone is a regular, and only want to spend money on the same dancers. I think I'm going to go to a larger city and hope for better luck again.
    I've had mixed results. Depending on the small town I would either not make money worth it for me to go back, or I would make money...for a little while. Mostly because I was a new face. Until I became recognized as a house girl. But in a main city there is a lot of competition all over the place, sometimes I wouldn't make any of the money that I was expecting or used to. I had to find clubs that were in betweens.

    I think with dancing to make maximum money is to keep moving.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    i think the difference is - in old days managers and staff really watched out for perverts and nowdays they over looking that, because clubs want make some money..so now girls dont feel like club staff got their backs, so girls just suffer quietly..ive been dancing for 10 years ,i have noticed the change..

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Quote Originally Posted by monicabi View Post
    i think the difference is - in old days managers and staff really watched out for perverts and nowdays they over looking that, because clubs want make some money..so now girls dont feel like club staff got their backs, so girls just suffer quietly..ive been dancing for 10 years ,i have noticed the change..
    On that last little piece I have to disagree. Nowadays the girls just....leave. That's why we have a massive Camming section. Most girls won't put up with sexual assault. They're in it for money--not trauma. I'd love to see some managers clue into the fact that the worst behaving customers they choose to protect are also the ones who want to pay the least and want to drive away good quality customers, since their tricks don't work with them in the room and the look like obvious douchebags next to gentlemen.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist View Post
    I'd love to see some managers clue into the fact that the worst behaving customers they choose to protect are also the ones who want to pay the least and want to drive away good quality customers
    Yes ma'am, this is so true! I struggle to understand the mentality that the majority of managers appear to have. They seem to prioritize the maybe $50 they might extract out of one ill-behaved sweatpants dirtbag over the hundreds or thousands they'll get from a well-behaved regular. Men are not blind to the other men around them in the club. When guys see sleazy weirdos in the club, it makes them feel like they're a sleazy weirdo too!

    It's like managers don't understand branding at all.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Quote Originally Posted by KaraLynn View Post
    lol......sweatpants.

    I did a dance for a guy with sweatpants once....and the inevitable happened. Now I avoid approaching guys wearing sweatpants. I think all clubs should start banning them. (I know a lot of the upscale clubs already do) but the rest of them need to jump on board as well.
    If certain clubs did this they would probably go under in less than a month. Disgusting.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    I know it sounds really counter intuitive, but my money always drops when I focus on making more money. The guys looking for sex will seek out the girls who seem desperate for money. I break that cycle by going in with the express purpose of going home broke. I call it my "day off at work." I know it sounds crazy, but it totally works to reset your attitude and attracts quality customers to you. I'll bring things to keep me entertained or will read steamy romance novels on my phone. I purposely hang out with the non spending regulars and just generally have a good time as if I'm a customer, but one who gets to dance on stage on occasion.

    In my area, I've found that the guys who want to most in the way of extras are usually also the cheapest when it comes to tipping and buying dances etc.

    The other problem may be the region you're working in. Some cities are just known for lots of extras. San Francisco and Seattle come to mind. If that's the case, then you may have to get out of town to make some $$ w/o extras.

    I think more parts of the US will make prostitution a bit more legal in the coming decade. Melanie is right when she calls it the "new normal." No contact shows are going to be forced either into the mainstream, such as burlesque, or online.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Tourdefranzia View Post
    I know it sounds really counter intuitive, but my money always drops when I focus on making more money. The guys looking for sex will seek out the girls who seem desperate for money. I break that cycle by going in with the express purpose of going home broke. I call it my "day off at work." I know it sounds crazy, but it totally works to reset your attitude and attracts quality customers to you. I'll bring things to keep me entertained or will read steamy romance novels on my phone. I purposely hang out with the non spending regulars and just generally have a good time as if I'm a customer, but one who gets to dance on stage on occasion.
    This is a good suggestion. For example ever since I got my day job, whenever I go the club on my days off I noticed an increase in nightly earnings compared to when I was full time dancing. It was bizarre. What changed was my priorities: nowadays I just want to go to the club to dance and make stage tips (my club is stage and dance oriented). I'm not worried about making a lot in one night. Since I have a paycheck coming in I'm less worried about making money and more into getting easy cash to have on hand and have a good time. Even if I make what used to be considered a bad night, I'm okay with it now. I'll even go hang out with customers who don't seem like spenders, maybe have a beer with them, and talk to them about my love of craft beer lol.

    When I full time danced I used to be more of a hustler and more worried about what I'll make that night. Money was the number one priority and I did not want to waste my time. Ever since I've taken a laissez-faire approach, care less about hustling and more about going to the club to put on a show and make stage tips, somehow my earnings increased than before. Even with dances, I don't really often have to hustle them anymore to get them and they'll tell me they want dances. I think it's something in the change of attitude and they can sense it.

    Switching clubs could provide you a temporary distraction since you'll be in a new environment and trying to 'orient' to it, and less focused on the money.

    Then again it could also be the area at the same time. Some areas just aren't worth it. I have taken my "no hustle" hustle to another club that is closer to me, but the entire region is more economically depressed compared to the rest of the country. The money was just so shit even with hustling (so bad I barely made gas money) so I don't dance in that area anymore and travel further away to dance.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    This is all on you, honey. If all you're getting if guys who wanna fuck you, you need to find a new attitude because that's the vibe you're projecting so that's the vibe you're getting back. If guys ever ask me that, I laugh at them and walk away onto a more respectful customer who will actually spend money. Asking you to fuck is an AUTOMATIC cheap-ass indicator and you need to MOVE ON. When you have a crappy attitude about this job, you get more of that. It's all about your attitude. Project confidence, self-respect, love for your customers and appreciation for money and you will start to make money. That's all there is to it. If you aren't having fun doing this job, you shouldn't do this job.

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    double post````

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    Default Re: Sorry, I need to vent :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Tourdefranzia View Post
    I know it sounds really counter intuitive, but my money always drops when I focus on making more money. The guys looking for sex will seek out the girls who seem desperate for money. I break that cycle by going in with the express purpose of going home broke. I call it my "day off at work." I know it sounds crazy, but it totally works to reset your attitude and attracts quality customers to you. I'll bring things to keep me entertained or will read steamy romance novels on my phone. I purposely hang out with the non spending regulars and just generally have a good time as if I'm a customer, but one who gets to dance on stage on occasion.

    In my area, I've found that the guys who want to most in the way of extras are usually also the cheapest when it comes to tipping and buying dances etc.

    The other problem may be the region you're working in. Some cities are just known for lots of extras. San Francisco and Seattle come to mind. If that's the case, then you may have to get out of town to make some $$ w/o extras.

    I think more parts of the US will make prostitution a bit more legal in the coming decade. Melanie is right when she calls it the "new normal." No contact shows are going to be forced either into the mainstream, such as burlesque, or online.
    YES!! THIS. Don't go into work for the money, go in for a nice, relaxing time. When I do this, and I do it every time I work, I am always in the top 3 earners every night.

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