Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 51 to 72 of 72

Thread: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

  1. #51
    Featured Member wish's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,075
    Thanks
    1,068
    Thanked 1,035 Times in 466 Posts

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    Maybe it's my nativity for believing the hype but I believe there is a difference between sugar babies and prostitues. It just technically. Take the article for example. Kate IS a prostitue. Jen is NOT. Pay for play is prostitution. Being a sugar baby is Not suppose to be a pay per transaction relationship. It's suppose to be a relationship without the drama of everyday life. Maybe it is rent a girlfriend but the key word is girlfriend. There's spending time together, getting to know each other, DATING( travel, shopping, concerts, etc). How can marring someone be prostitution? Obviously there's something more than a money / sex exchange.
    Not trying to be argumentative but I really see it like this.

  2. #52
    Featured Member wish's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,075
    Thanks
    1,068
    Thanked 1,035 Times in 466 Posts

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    Maybe it's my nativity for believing the hype but I believe there is a difference between sugar babies and prostitues. It just technically. Take the article for example. Kate IS a prostitue. Jen is NOT. Pay for play is prostitution. Being a sugar baby is Not suppose to be a pay per transaction relationship. It's suppose to be a relationship without the drama of everyday life. Maybe it is rent a girlfriend but the key word is girlfriend. There's spending time together, getting to know each other, DATING( travel, shopping, concerts, etc). How can marring someone be prostitution? Obviously there's something more than a money / sex exchange.
    Not trying to be argumentative but I really see it like this.

  3. #53
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    ^^^ As I posted earlier in this thread, I don't really have a personal opinion on the matter. Admittedly, going the 'lease a girlfriend by the month' SD / SB route makes the guys feel better than the 'renting a girlfriend by the hour' GFE escort route. If it makes the girls feel better as well, hey why not ! But from an official legal standpoint, the IRS considers both 'business activities' to involve 'payment for services rendered'.


    Pay for play is prostitution. Being a sugar baby is Not suppose to be a pay per transaction relationship.
    This is the essence of the additional 'layer of separation' which is inserted via the SD / SB financial transactions transforming a direct 'per hour' cash payment into indirect cash, 'gifts', 'free' apartment, etc.
    Last edited by Melonie; 09-23-2014 at 08:11 AM.

  4. #54
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    The other perceived guarantee/safety of having a Sugar Baby is knowing where she goes to school, works, where she is from, etc....Men don't have this knowledge when dealing with a "Pro" and they fear being taken advantage of by a Pro (there are a lot of low end escorts who will resort to stealing wallets, blackmail, burglary and drama in ongoing relations with men b/c well that's their style...)

    Also the idea is the Sugar Baby has less intimate relations with people in general if she has no need to work more while being with her "Daddy" (he foots the bills while she is in college or working a regular job, or caring for her kids, etc.)

    Speaking as an ex-escort, due to the economy even Escorting is harder than it used to be. There are more providers out there doing more for less, globally. Human trafficking makes this worse. Responsible escorts have to pretty much manage all activities not only for herself but her potential clients to protect herself (screening, banning problematic clients, not maintain business with clients with health issues, etc.) Lot of women would prefer the safety/security of a SD arrangement rather than hack through years of working hard all day to ensure success and safety as a full-time escort.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to SnuffleUffleGrass For This Useful Post:


  6. #55
    Member tantra4's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    261
    Thanked 29 Times in 14 Posts

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    It seems to me that what actually works in human terms, and what is legally feasible in our society are totally different. Guys need sex. Many well-to-do men are happy to pay for unobligated sex if they can find it without too much risk. Although most would deny it, I think many women (myself included) would be willing to provide it if they could choose clients who are not repulsive, could be safe from violence and law enforcement, and could still have a stable relationship with someone they love. I think all this would be possible if it weren't for our puritanical laws against prostitution. Escorting and the SB/SD thing are awkward, semi-legal replacements for what should be a simple transaction, like getting a massage or having your nails done. The laws against money for sex expose everyone to risk and don't protect anyone. They're even more stupid and counter-productive than our laws against recreational drugs (don't get me started on THAT . . . lol).

  7. #56
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    Quote Originally Posted by tantra4 View Post
    It seems to me that what actually works in human terms, and what is legally feasible in our society are totally different. Guys need sex. Many well-to-do men are happy to pay for unobligated sex if they can find it without too much risk. Although most would deny it, I think many women (myself included) would be willing to provide it if they could choose clients who are not repulsive, could be safe from violence and law enforcement, and could still have a stable relationship with someone they love. I think all this would be possible if it weren't for our puritanical laws against prostitution. Escorting and the SB/SD thing are awkward, semi-legal replacements for what should be a simple transaction, like getting a massage or having your nails done. The laws against money for sex expose everyone to risk and don't protect anyone. They're even more stupid and counter-productive than our laws against recreational drugs (don't get me started on THAT . . . lol).

    Yeah I agree. The current state of affairs keeps everyone in a nightmare-ish limbo- human trafficking victims suffer, people rack up serious convictions for what can be called "victimless crime" and men make very bad long term decisions with relationships just to get a little sex (my boyfriend has several co-workers who have been fleeced by women who date them as long as it's financially advantageous...Then these women move on to another relationship...lather, rinse, repeat. It helps if the man is a horrible human being, then the woman feels like she is "teaching a lesson" & other people can sympathize with her...Aside from all that, it is a really expensive way for a man to get laid.)

    On the other hand I will say men in general can be very hateful and unsympathetic towards sex workers, calling them everything from used up goods to worthless human beings. It makes sex work look bad to most women because they do not want to run the risk of being treated like a social pariah just to make fast money offering an almost universally desired service.

  8. #57
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    ^^^ all of those points would tend to indicate that the SD / SB arrangement is a very 'viable' option in today's world. Bust risk is reduced for both parties. Social stigma is reduced for both parties. The arrangement is arguably preferable to supposedly 'genuine' relationships which are actually mercenary in nature, because both parties understand the true situation and expectations up front.

    As to the relative 'value' in human terms ... versus a traditional marriage at one extreme, or straight up prostitution at the other extreme, who's to say !!! As to relative value in economic terms, in today's economy there is no denying that traditional marriages are no longer 'affordable' for the majority of young people ... well, at least 'affordable' at a standard of living equal to that of their parents. The SD / SB arrangement connects ( typically somewhat older ) guys who have money with ( typically younger ) girls who need money in a manner that is far more 'acceptable' than straight up prostitution, and in a manner that is far less risky / costly ( in the long run ) to the guys who have money than actual marriage followed by divorce.
    Last edited by Melonie; 09-24-2014 at 03:51 AM.

  9. #58
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Aug 2013
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    291
    Thanks
    193
    Thanked 359 Times in 174 Posts

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    When you have a hybrid relationship like this I wonder how many times the relationship evolves into something a bit more emotionally messy for the SD / SB pair knowing people like I do?

  10. #59
    Member tantra4's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    56
    Thanks
    261
    Thanked 29 Times in 14 Posts

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    ^^^ all of those points would tend to indicate that the SD / SB arrangement is a very 'viable' option in today's world. Bust risk is reduced for both parties. Social stigma is reduced for both parties. The arrangement is arguably preferable to supposedly 'genuine' relationships which are actually mercenary in nature, because both parties understand the true situation and expectations up front.

    As to the relative 'value' in human terms ... versus a traditional marriage at one extreme, or straight up prostitution at the other extreme, who's to say !!! As to relative value in economic terms, in today's economy there is no denying that traditional marriages are no longer 'affordable' for the majority of young people ... well, at least 'affordable' at a standard of living equal to that of their parents. The SD / SB arrangement connects ( typically somewhat older ) guys who have money with ( typically younger ) girls who need money in a manner that is far more 'acceptable' than straight up prostitution, and in a manner that is far less risky / costly ( in the long run ) to the guys who have money than actual marriage followed by divorce.
    I understand what you are saying Melonie. But personally, I would HATE to be in a SB/SD relationship, always dependent on my SD for money, afraid to speak my mind or get pissed off. You would never feel like an equal partner, because in fact you're not. I would feel powerless and used in that situation. The escort/client situation is different. You're providing a service for a defined time, and you get paid a pre-agreed amount. There's no built-in inequality. The only part of THAT arrangement I can't feature is having to fuck someone who repulses me. Since most people do, I guess I'm keeping my nerdy vanilla job!

  11. #60
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    I would HATE to be in a SB/SD relationship, always dependent on my SD for money, afraid to speak my mind or get pissed off. You would never feel like an equal partner, because in fact you're not. I would feel powerless and used in that situation.
    In terms of personal opinion, I am unable to tolerate SD / SB arrangements myself precisely for the reason you state ... the implied financial 'dependence'. Of course, a lot of actual wives also find themselves in a similar situation !!!

    As to SD / SB amounting to a 'relationship', a business transaction, or both, that's certainly a 'gray area'. But it is precisely that 'gray'-ness that makes SD / SB increasingly acceptable.

  12. #61
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    My opinion for what's it's worth for your consideration....

    If the SD is led on to believe that sex will happen, and the SB 'knows' it will not, that is shabbily unethical on her part. I cannot respect that and consider it a kind of theft. Saying that if I had the where-with-all to have an ethical SB, I would jump at the chance (I don't like entanglements anymore). I don't mind professional girls doing prostitution (as opposed to crack whores and thieves etc), and even though it is illegal in many places. If the client can handle the emotions (and it doesn't disturb an otherwise good marriage), I believe that is more ethical than a deceiving SB.

    I know many of you will disagree and I'm OK with that. But it may be 'food for thought' for one or two.
    Last edited by threlayer; 09-26-2014 at 06:43 AM. Reason: clarify
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to threlayer For This Useful Post:


  14. #62
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    ^^^ however, given the online 3rd party resources supporting Seeking Arrangements et al, any SB who chooses not to 'deliver' on her end of the transaction will most likely be instantly dropped by the SD, and also de-facto banned from future Seeking Arrangements facilitated hookups. Additionally, since some SD's are in fact 'well heeled', it's also possible that they could pursue other avenues of 'retribution' against a reneging SB ( i.e. issuing the SB a 1099 for starters ).

  15. #63
    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    3,244
    Thanks
    2,454
    Thanked 4,800 Times in 1,707 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    ^^^ however, given the online 3rd party resources supporting Seeking Arrangements et al, any SB who chooses not to 'deliver' on her end of the transaction will most likely be instantly dropped by the SD, and also de-facto banned from future Seeking Arrangements facilitated hookups. Additionally, since some SD's are in fact 'well heeled', it's also possible that they could pursue other avenues of 'retribution' against a reneging SB ( i.e. issuing the SB a 1099 for starters ).
    Actually they will not really drop a SB from their site unless something like blackmail is involved. The site really doesn't guarantee their members are real SDs nor does it guarantee that the income they have listed on their profiles is correct. Most of those guys aren't really providing the high allowances that the site tries to advertise. If you read the blog you'll see how nasty some of those men are when the see SB profiles in the 3-5k range or higher. There are some that will go out of their way to harass women by telling them they're delusional for what they're seeking.

  16. #64
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    ^^^ wow, it's been awhile since this thread has seen the light of day ...


    Actually they will not really drop a SB from their site unless something like blackmail is involved. The site really doesn't guarantee their members are real SDs nor does it guarantee that the income they have listed on their profiles is correct.
    Yes I know ... which is why I added 'de-facto'. What is likely to actually happen is that the 'cheated' SD will discuss the 'r.o.b.' SB on a 3rd party blog or forum, other potential SD's will see what's posted and remember it, and the SB will cease to get 'serious' offers from Seeking Arrangements SD's.

  17. #65
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    ^^^ however, given the online 3rd party resources supporting Seeking Arrangements et al, any SB who chooses not to 'deliver' on her end of the transaction will most likely be instantly dropped by the SD, and also de-facto banned from future Seeking Arrangements facilitated hookups. Additionally, since some SD's are in fact 'well heeled', it's also possible that they could pursue other avenues of 'retribution' against a reneging SB ( i.e. issuing the SB a 1099 for starters ).
    This could happen, but a lot of girls would be able to just argue the guy was an insane pervert & lost his f*cking mind when she skipped town/turned him down/made him mad.....

    I've rejected a couple really gross wanna be SDs & I never heard anything else from them b/c I was prepared for that possibility.

  18. #66
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    but a lot of girls would be able to just argue the guy was an insane pervert & lost his f*cking mind when she skipped town/turned him down/made him mad
    ... yes, but what those girls will never know is what sort of SD offers they might have received had some 'serious' SD's not been scared off due to negative 3rd party postings about them by 'unhappy' prior SD's !!!

    Much like never being called back by a prospective employer after making a 'straight' job application, some potential SD's may never provide those girls an opportunity to explain. Rather than 'take a chance' on a girl with alleged negative attributes, they may simply move on to another girl who doesn't have similar negative attributes ! And the odds of this happening arguably increase right along with the number of 'new' girls seeking to become SB's !!!
    Last edited by Melonie; 03-31-2015 at 12:22 AM.

  19. #67
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    ^ In my experience, a guy who is really really interested in a sugar baby is going to tune out any negative "reviews" of her- he will assume the complaining party is just lying to "keep her to himself" (aka guys know how other guys are.)

    I've watched strip club customers get scammed by strippers who looked like the Loch Ness Monster b/c the dancer was such a smooth talker and promised what he wanted...*

    * (South Park Joke)

  20. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SnuffleUffleGrass For This Useful Post:


  21. #68
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    Doesn't matter if it is really a sort of prostitution. Technically most everything, where sex is involved, besides marriage is, and some marriages are. Taking a girl out to an expensive meal and to a concert and bars before going to bed with her could be considered that too, unless it is Dutch treat. Even to Burger King and a movie before a good night fuck is too, just a matter of the price paid. Even talking about it with no intent, overheard by a snitch, could be considered illegal.

    Now I could see where a married person could get into legal trouble. But if a single guy wants a quick blowjob for a few bucks, with a willing provider, I see no reason at all to involve the law. If I were going to a woman and I brought her a birthday card with a nice monetary gift or gift card and we had some sort of sex, would that be prostitution? Who is to say that the gift is tied into with the sex by implied contract. Maybe sex just happened because she knows I like her that much. Maybe she has other guys that also like her that much. So what?
    Last edited by threlayer; 04-26-2015 at 03:55 PM.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  22. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to threlayer For This Useful Post:


  23. #69
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 14 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    ^ In my experience, a guy who is really really interested in a sugar baby is going to tune out any negative "reviews" of her- he will assume the complaining party is just lying to "keep her to himself" (aka guys know how other guys are.)

    I've watched strip club customers get scammed by strippers who looked like the Loch Ness Monster b/c the dancer was such a smooth talker and promised what he wanted...*

    * (South Park Joke)
    Going by what l see on tumblr, the girls are not damaged by a complainer. And they do run into some sleaze balls who try to put them on blast.


    Quote Originally Posted by PitGirlDynomite!!! View Post
    I went looking for anything about LE and SA and stumbled upon this article



    t.
    - "If you fuck for free, why not get paid for it?" her tiny friend chimes in. "There are stupid girls out there doing shit for free when they don't even get spoiled.

    "How embarrassing," the friend adds, puffing on the smoldering joint. "Don't they know that pussy ain't free no mo'?"

    This line was funny to me and reminded me of of dating.

  24. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sensy For This Useful Post:


  25. #70
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Posts
    1,096
    Thanks
    517
    Thanked 1,272 Times in 520 Posts

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    At least it's not Tinder. Now THOSE girls are a new breed of prostitute. The free and stupid kind. Seriously, women in my generation are so dumb and slutty they make me seriously debate taking on a sugar daddy almost every time I try and date someone new only to find out they're another philandering philandererer. Because they CAN. And it makes me wonder if the grass just might be greener...
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

  26. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Odette For This Useful Post:


  27. #71
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    100
    Thanks
    325
    Thanked 203 Times in 70 Posts

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    So much risk associated with "casual" sex, I'll take a negotiated transaction versus the mystery transaction of a hookup. Maybe a hookup is free and maybe it isn't, there is no way for a man or woman to know until after. With a provider you know she is taking care of herself, you know what will happen, you know what it'll cost you, and you know she won't take any of your time until you make another appointment. I'll take knowing any day of the week.

  28. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SarcasticGoldFish For This Useful Post:


  29. #72
    Banned
    Joined
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Nowhereville
    Posts
    473
    Thanks
    169
    Thanked 472 Times in 189 Posts

    Default Re: is 'Seeking Arrangements' the 'new normal' ???

    We're still discussing this dead end industry. Stupid ass Tumblr sugar babies. Y'all lame as hell

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Similar Threads

  1. Seeking a city ...
    By Kat w in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 04-23-2012, 05:17 AM
  2. Seeking some insight.....
    By BoobieDesny in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-23-2011, 09:07 AM
  3. How do YOU handle BABYSITTING arrangements???
    By jgolden83 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-22-2011, 02:45 PM
  4. Seeking your opinion
    By GoldCoastGirl in forum Dollar Den
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 12-12-2005, 01:01 AM
  5. Security Arrangements
    By SeppeSai in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 12-12-2004, 07:40 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •