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Thread: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    I'm really outing myself here, as I am a dancer. I love being a dancer and plan on continuing to dance for at least a few more years. I've never considered escorting until I met the man I'm meeting tomorrow.

    Here's my issue: We met at my old club, he always bought dances and tipped generously. He was a very fun VIP partner. He's good looking, rich and a gentleman. We would make jokes about "Pretty Woman" and wishing to "Break the law." I'm pretty sure I know the score, but the cardinal rule of Escorting is to not speak about the transactional nature of the business in public. So, we didn't.

    Last time he came to the club he had mentioned that he'd like to take me out. I agreed and we set the date. I've already done most of my homework and have an idea as to what to expect (I'm pretty sure I've read every thread in Other Work, read Amanda Brooks' books, been to the most popular forums, even chatted with the Junkies to make sure I'm on the right track).

    I know how to screen (I worked as a booker for an escort agency for a few years), so I know this man is as safe as any could be.

    Here's my issue: How the hell do you confirm with the client what your intentions are? We met in the strip club, and he has always paid for my time there. I sometimes do extras (nothing that requires a condom) during VIP dances, and did so with this client. He's fucking HOT! and it just seemed to flow naturally.

    The best I've come up with so far is to just come out and say, "My rate is $XXX. Is that amenable to you?"

    I'm also not sure if I should reveal my status as a novice provider. Since I've been around the industry for years, I don't think I'll seem like a novice, but if he is accustomed to seeing providers it may be painfully obvious.

    The girls in my club are very tight lipped about their OTC activities, as it should be. But I know that at least a few of the girls I work with do OTC on occasion. This is an upscale experience that I am attempting, as this client would not likely be interested in anything else. I just don't want to blow this opportunity by saying something stupid and screwing it up. Any advice would be appreciated.

    P.S. I'm also concerned that he thinks there is genuine romantic interest on my part. If I completely misunderstood his intentions, this is going to be embarrassing.

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    I think it is strange that he didn't make an offer for a specific amount of money in the club. "Take you out" can mean a variety of things. I'm thinking that this will not end well.

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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    I don't know how much advice I can offer. I've danced and worked as a booker for an agency in 2008, but it was basically a rob agency. The positive I see in your thread is that you're not doing this out of financial desperation. You seem to have made an exception to a rule for a customer you see as worthy making an exception for. I won't tell you not to have a bit of paranoia, PLEASE make sure someone knows where you are and use a code word. I also have to point out, unless he does this often, he's gonna be nervous, too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    Quote Originally Posted by shasta View Post
    I think it is strange that he didn't make an offer for a specific amount of money in the club. "Take you out" can mean a variety of things. I'm thinking that this will not end well.
    That certainly leads me to think that he may think it's romantic interest or even if not, a freebie to encourage him to keep coming to see you ITC. Are you going to see him ITC before your "date?" Generally, the best way to suss out that you'll be getting paid for your time OTC is to imply that your time is valuable/you're a busy girl and you'll have to take a night off to spend time with him, and ask if he'll take care of you/make it worth your while/etc. If they're super vague or non-committal in their response, you know they're looking for a freebie.

    If you won't be seeing this guy ITC, you can try and open the conversation that way via text/phone/email, though it's of course better done in person, in advance of arranging the "date."

    I really urge you not to just assume he will take it upon himself to give you some money during the date, or else you may likely leave empty handed. You've gotta bring it up before you go, and that helps you avoid a potentially awkward situation where you get there expecting money and he thinks it's a date -- as, frankly, he is fair to believe since no payment has been discussed.

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    Well Tour, I do believe that one of the Junkies who responded to your questions, one who has done a lot of OTC with a fairly high number of strippers, gave you this piece of advice:


    "...In any event, the best way to avoid confusion is to be as clear as possible as to what you are offering and what you expect for it. Trust me when I say you are not going to shock most of these older guys by laying it out, lol."


    Avoidance of ambiguity and confusion was precisely why he said this to you, but instead you decided that the only takeaway was some vague notion about each person handles it differently. I hate to be the type of guy who said "I told you so", but...

    IMHO, you really need to make it clear, long before the meetup, that this is a pay date. Some girls will say it bluntly, but some tapdance around it. I cannot count how many times I've had a dancer say something like this: "I'm really looking forward to meeting up with you, but I really do need to earn something if I'm not going into the club that night. Would that be ok?" At that point I propose a number or she does. The benefit of letting him do it is that he may come in higher than what you were going to quote! But if he does come in too low, or doesn't propose a number at all, you can always respond with something like "would $xxx be ok?"

    As I said before, he shouldn't be remotely surprised. And if he is surprised that you asked for money, then the meetup was not going to go well for you anyway and you just saved yourself a lot of grief.

    As far as your other comments...


    1. The club is precisely where most girls work out the terms of an OTC meetup. This actually makes the most sense, since you are in person, your roles are clear (dancer and customer) and he should be in the right frame of mind.

    2. In terms of the "experience", IMHO you should let him drive the bus. If he wants to take you to dinner, let him choose the place. If he wants to take you to some other entertainment event, tell him to surprise you. If he just wants to take you to a hotel room, then let him choose the place and make the arrangements. Just be mindful of your safety. Beyond that, the only things you really should have to worry about are looking good, being an entertaining companion, and, finally, number 3 below...

    3. Irrespective of his money and charm, he is just a man with a penis who wants to get into the pants of an attractive woman. Trust me when I say that there is no need to over-think his expectations and desires. Whether he wants to wine and dine you first or go right for the gusto, make no mistake that his end goal is the same - to separate you from your panties. And, once the panties are gone, the rest is like riding a bike, no?



    Anyway, just my for whatever it is actually worth and good luck!
    Last edited by rickdugan; 06-09-2014 at 04:05 PM.

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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    I agree with what has been said about this not sounding like it's going to go well. I mean, the very fact that he brought up "Pretty Woman" as what he wants? Obviously he is hoping that there is some kind of love connection here.

    I have been asked for OTC more times than I can count, but most of the time they want to take me out on a date or they just want sex so I've only ever taken two customers up on it. The first one didn't want sex, the other one did but I was not informed of that as he set it up through a friend, and I can tell you it was quite an ugly situation that ended with me taking a $95 cab ride home. I'm sure if you're OK with sex, but I would discuss exactly what your boundaries are before the date. If you are hoping it's going to be like a session at your club but not at club, drinks, dances, and a HJ, then I would mention that and include it in your pricing. If you're planning on going farther, I don't think you need to have as much of a discussion. Also, I mean, find out how long this date is going to be-- does he want the whole night? Does he just want an hour? If you want him to become a repeat OTC customer, then you don't want to charge him $x thinking it's going to be 2hrs but he thought he was getting the whole night and gets pissy about it. But I would definitely be clear about it NOT being a real date... Rick's example is one you can use if you feel odd being so blunt as to say "my rate is xx" but if you're hoping that he doesn't pick up on the fact that you're a novice, I would just be blunt! I mean, really, the last thing you want is to take off a night of work, get all dressed up, meet up with him, and then have some awkward conversation or argument about getting paid.

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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tourdefranzia View Post
    but the cardinal rule of Escorting is to not speak about the transactional nature of the business in public. So, we didn't.
    Tour,

    I'll tell you my experience rather than give it in the form of advice, but I think my experience is pretty standard. Bodyrub and escort providers have pretty strict guidelines about not talking explicitly before the first meeting, because even with screening, they can be trapped. But even in these cases, after I've seen a bodyrub girl once, and she now knows I'm not going to arrest her -- we speak openly and explicitly from there on out. I think one of the advantages of how you're doing things is that by handpicking a longtime regular, you've got a screening mechanism that's way way better than an escort trying to screen a stranger. For OTC with a stripper I know, I've almost always spoken openly and explicitly about what I want, either in the club or in a phone call before the actual OTC; OTC with a stripper just doesn't need to follow the "dance around the topic" guidelines.

    I have, a few times, gone OTC without having negotiated a price first. It can be confusing ... I can tell you that even if we don't negotiate the price in advance, I do have expectations about the general ballpark of where the price should be, and there's the risk of bad feelings if I'm expecting to pay much much less than she's expecting to make. It's never happened, but really there's no reason to risk it

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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    I have a couple of dancer friends who are absolute professionals at this, one of whom basically says you know I love spending time with you but once I am outside the club, my usual rate for dinner and some fun is 1000 or whatever it is. She aims high and they almost always pay her number. But the point is, I think he knows, and if he pretends not to he is probably playing dumb. You can also say like the other friend of mine does (very sweetly, and at the first cocktail), you are going to take care of me, right? and then he will say "of course" or something, and you say "really?" and that's when he pretty much has to give you a number. And don't tell him you never did it before, but don't make it seem like you do it often either. Say something like you have a few special friends you see outside and they take really good care of you. I don't think this is unusual I know a number of dancers who have special outside situations with select regulars. Hope it goes really well!

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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    Just want to add two things - firstly like the others said, if you can broach this subject prior to the date, then great, but if not then you know for next time!

    Second, I think that there are basically two different types of custies who want to see you outside the club and one is the newbie, younger, infrequent patron who does A/want to date you because they want to date a stripper or think they actually like you or whatever, or B/want more for free - on both counts avoid this type! The second type is, I think your guy, and the guys who generally frequent this forum, the club equivalent of the hobbyist who basically knows the score, knows you are working and that your time is money, and will pay you for that time as they do ITC, but will expect to pay more, in exchange for going further that you can or want to in VIP and in a more personal and private setting.

    Beyond that time, expectations and compensation need to be discussed as everyone addressed

    Wow, I have not seen "Pretty Woman" in years - Netflix time!

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    Tour, I hate to be nosy, but any updates? Yesterday was supposed to be the big day if I'm not mistaken. If you feel up to it, an update would be welcome.

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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    Success! I couldn't imagine a more positive 1st time experience. He was not expecting me to be a pro, but was not unhappy or upset when I brought it up. In fact, we have another appointment set for the weekend.

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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    ^glad you proved my suspicions wrong!

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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    Quote Originally Posted by audrey_k View Post
    ^glad you proved my suspicions wrong!
    I really value your opinion, and took it to heart. I kind of steeled my nerves that this deal could go sideways because of your advice. I'm very glad it didn't, but I was prepared to slink away with my tail between my legs if necessary.

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    Default Re: Meeting my 1st client tomorrow...I think?

    I'm also happy to hear that it went well and no one left disappointed! Here's to a new, lucrative dynamic to your relationship!

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