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Thread: Am I a regular now?

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    Default Am I a regular now?

    (sorry for yet another "does she like me" post)

    I met a dancer a couple of months ago at the local strip club. I've never bought a dance or gone to the VIP room with her, and I don't tip her any more than I do anyone else. Nonetheless, she always sits with me between dances for the entire time I'm there. She's extremely flirty - she gazes into my eyes and holds my hand for long periods of time when we're sitting together (usually at the bar), and she constantly tells me she likes me. We also touch each other A LOT, pretty much everywhere. Our conversations consist of just about everything under the sun, including extremely graphic sex talk.

    One night, her shift ended shortly after I got there, so she got dressed and she hung out with me (at the SC) for about six hours. She called her best friend up to come meet me, and told the bouncer at the door that I'm a friend, not a customer. I know her real first and last name (and her fake real name), we have exchanged (real) phone numbers, and we're friends on Facebook. She talks about doing things OTC frequently.


    She makes maybe $10-20 from me over the course of an entire night when I visit the club, and I've made it clear to her that I think it's silly to pay for OTC activities or to give dancers gifts/huge tips/etc. I've been going to strip clubs for a long time all over the world and I've never encountered a dancer that behaves like this for so little money before. I don't think she's just bad at her job - she claims to be the top earning dancer there and she does seem to be quite popular with other customers (judging by the number of dances/VIP rooms she does). I asked her about it, and she told me she really enjoys my company and that she has a bit of a crush on me, but that she doesn't really trust me yet so she wants to hang out ITC for a while before we do anything else.

    Another thing that's weird about this situation: I'm a pretty generous tipper, but now most of the other dancers don't approach me at all for tips/drinks/dances. I also get in for free sometimes and the bartender pours me extra and/or gives me free drinks quite often.


    I'm having trouble deciding if this is all normal SS or not. Am I one of this girl's regulars (and getting strung along), or should I take her at her word?

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    If you were more a friend than a customer, two things would be happening. She wouldn't be taking money from you and she wouldn't hesitate to see you in real life. You are a customer she is friendly with more so than a friend spending time in the clubi
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    THe only problem is when you start thinking sideways. Keeping you coming in the club is the point, and if you are having a good time, who cares? If you are age appropriate, who knows, stranger things have happened, but I wouldn't count on it

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Sounds like you have found the dumbest stripper ever. Enjoy it while it lasts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    I don't mean to sound negative, but I wonder if her trying to play this "friend" card with you might be part of her hustle when it comes to you.
    Like if a month passes and she suddenly tells you she "trusts" you, could that be to make you feel important and like you are legit to her?
    That way in time if she has a "crisis" and hits you up for $ you won't have as a hard time handing it over because y'all have a "personal relationship?" (I've seen this many, many times btw)

    I dunno, I think if she had feelings for you she would want to see you outside the club.

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    either you are exaggerating, or she really is just an idiot. she has to be a complete dumbass to waste THAT much time with a guy who gives her ten bucks throughout an entire visit, with no hints that he will ever spend more even if she kisses ass and plays the " you're more than a customer to me" card. i'm getting acute second hand embarrassment for her


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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    I refuse to believe that she's the "top earning dancer" at the club because top earners do not spend their sacred time to earn money with time wasters such as yourself (no offense). If what you are saying is true, then she's just really bad at her job. If she really liked you, she would have just gave you her number and got back to work.
    Last edited by kassie; 06-10-2014 at 09:02 PM.

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    saer,

    The general guideline for myself is: even though I always consider myself the smartest guy in the room, the fact is, these women are professionals and very skilled at making men excited and extracting their money -- in the words of the immortal Kyle Reese: "That's what she does. That's all she does." lol ... okay, a bit melodramatic, but the point is, you're not going to be able to tell if she "really likes me" based on cues at the club ... in fact, I'd go so far as to say that once you're smitten, even your perceptions are suspect (like, perhaps, mis-remembering that you spent $10 when you really spent $80, plus bought her $30 in drinks, plus plus plus).

    What we were talking about again? Oh yeah, my general guideline: the only way to tell if the relationship is something other than stripper/customer is if I'm seeing her outside the club, for free, and while that's going on she's not manipulating me for some other payday (mentioning she has no idea how she'll make rent, etc). Anything other than that, and, well, the girls play this game on a different level than I do, and I'm not smart enough to read ITC cues and tell if it's hustle or not, so I consider it all hustle. If we're not socializing outside the club in a "normal", non-paid scenario, it's hustle, even if I can't figure out her strategy.

    A couple of years ago I was in a situation fairly close to yours, and we ended up dating. The big difference is, whenever a relationship moved past stripper/customer for me, I always felt pursued -- in this case, she's the one who texted and called me, pushed for seeing each other outside the club ("come to my house, let's hang out!"), etc. The "doesn't really trust me yet" doesn't really fit in with the rest of your story, it's a sign she's delaying OTC in order to work the long hustle, IMO. So is the fact that she's got you so excited, upside-down and sideways that you post on the internet about it

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by kassie View Post
    I refuse to believe that she's the "top earning dancer" at the club because top earners do not spend their sacred time to earn money with time wasters such as yourself (no offense). If what you are saying is true, then she's just really bad at her job. If she really liked you, she would have just gave you her number and got back to work.
    They also don't go around telling customers "I'm a top earner!" because if they really are a top earner, it'll be pretty evident to the customer. That's like the guys that come in and say "yeah so I drive a BMW and I have a penthouse in Manhattan and a mansion in Hollywood and my yacht is amazing so don't you want to sit with me?"

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    I'm seriously starting to wonder if we have guys showing up here just making up stories about this sort of thing....
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I'm seriously starting to wonder if we have guys showing up here just making up stories about this sort of thing....
    Yup. Thought of that too, I mean, c'mon..


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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I'm seriously starting to wonder if we have guys showing up here just making up stories about this sort of thing....

    are you trying to say guys are smarter than you thought?

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I'm seriously starting to wonder if we have guys showing up here just making up stories about this sort of thing....
    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    Yup. Thought of that too, I mean, c'mon..
    My first thought was that I had mistyped the URL and ended up on the Penthouse Forum page.

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Too many things sound weird. I did have a regular who became a friend and we actually got together outside of the club. No he didn't pay for OTC either (though I'm sure he paid for dinner because he was that type). I had regulars I met OTC as well but it was a situation where they were paying, usually for parties or for me to accompany them to events but these never included anything sexual. As for sitting with the guy who doesn't tip she's either stupid or laying the foundation to use him later, such as meeting him OTC, or asking for money for various things or saying "let's go out" then expecting him to buy gifts. I doubt she's one of the top earners. I have been a top earner and there's no way I'd sit with a guy tipping $10-$20. If anything I'd sit with a guy like that for a few minutes, especially if no one is there then move on. If it was crowded I wouldn't spend much time at all because I'd rather make more money.
    Last edited by Kellydancer; 06-11-2014 at 10:31 PM. Reason: OTC, not OCT, duh

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by oldster View Post
    are you trying to say guys are smarter than you thought?
    No, not smarter. Desperate for attention.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Sounds like you have found the dumbest stripper ever. Enjoy it while it lasts.
    ^You took the words right out of my mouth there Yoda!
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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    It sounds like she's playing the long game here. At some point, she got the notion that she can convince you to either spend a lot of money on her or she can get some other kind of gifts/ favors from you. Either that or you're good to hang out with when she's between dances and it makes her look like she's in demand to other customers, which can increase her sales.

    If you have her phone number and FB, but haven't actually done anything OTC, she's not your friend yet.

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    What stood out to me is that you claim to be a very generous tipper but you only give this stripper who spends hours with you $10 to $20 a night?

    That doesn't make any sense to me.

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by kirakonstantin View Post
    It sounds like she's playing the long game here. At some point, she got the notion that she can convince you to either spend a lot of money on her or she can get some other kind of gifts/ favors from you. Either that or you're good to hang out with when she's between dances and it makes her look like she's in demand to other customers, which can increase her sales.

    If you have her phone number and FB, but haven't actually done anything OTC, she's not your friend yet.
    If this is the case she's an idiot( which I already took in from his post). iaf he's giving her 10-20 bucks why on earth would she think she could get more. I believe this is made up. I know there are stupid dancers that sit for free drinks and drugs. Maybe he's giving her drugs and leaving that out of the story. Hence why she would come by and hang around though he's giving her shit...

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by michele11 View Post
    If this is the case she's an idiot( which I already took in from his post). iaf he's giving her 10-20 bucks why on earth would she think she could get more. I believe this is made up. I know there are stupid dancers that sit for free drinks and drugs. Maybe he's giving her drugs and leaving that out of the story. Hence why she would come by and hang around though he's giving her shit...
    I won't vouch for the authenticity of the OP's story. I happen to think it's BS or at least partially fudged. But not all dancers have the same routine and many have other priorities besides making a buck, even if that is their main goal. What's wrong with taking 10 - 20 minutes to enjoy a drink while chatting things up with a customer? Often that leads to the vip anyway. It builds rapport with the customer. It always surprises me how little focus is spent on retaining a customer for future visits. In terms of sales jobs, a stripper seems to be focused solely on the here and now. Sounds like a losing strategy.

    I've had a few dancers invite me to go out clubbing. While I had spent some money on them previously, there were certainly no expectations for that night. So what was their motivation? Maybe they just wanted to have a good time. Maybe they thought it would lead to more money being spent on them ITC.

    Whatever their motivations, why insult them? They may have just achieved their aims.
    Last edited by yoda57us; 06-28-2014 at 06:48 AM. Reason: personal attacks are not allowed.

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    ^ well because they are at work to MAKE MONEY. that should be every dancer's priority if she's, um, at work and paying to be there. there is a time and a place for everything, and hanging out and shooting the shit with customers for hours on end with no compensation can be ok outside the club, but not really inside. he also said he had no intentions of paying her anymore money, and never has..so there goes your vip theory.i have no problem spending extra time with a guy as long as he's paying or i think there is a good chance that he will. we know all about "building rapport" and this isn't it. not to mention, pretty annoying when a dancer sits with guys the whole night for free kind of like giving extras. the club isn't the place to look for a boyfriend or find friends. so, she may not be "stupid" per say, but she's at least very deluded or very bad at her job.

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    ^ well because they are at work to MAKE MONEY. that should be every dancer's priority if she's, um, at work and paying to be there. there is a time and a place for everything, and hanging out and shooting the shit with customers for hours on end with no compensation can be ok outside the club, but not really inside. he also said he had no intentions of paying her anymore money, and never has..so there goes your vip theory.i have no problem spending extra time with a guy as long as he's paying or i think there is a good chance that he will. we know all about "building rapport" and this isn't it. not to mention, pretty annoying when a dancer sits with guys the whole night for free kind of like giving extras. the club isn't the place to look for a boyfriend or find friends. so, she may not be "stupid" per say, but she's at least very deluded or very bad at her job.
    Exactly! This guy probably made this up or like I said he is giving her drugs hence her going over and wanting to keep him around. I pay close to 150 a night plus 80 plus for hotel and 40 a day in cab and 20 for food. That's 300 just to be where I am so you bet your sweet ass and I do tell guys who say" why can't we go to dinner" . Or " Why does it have to be about the money. Um, because I spend 300 a day to be here. I don't come to your job and hang out and expect free things.
    Last edited by yoda57us; 06-28-2014 at 06:50 AM. Reason: off topic aside deleted for relevence.

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    ^ well because they are at work to MAKE MONEY. that should be every dancer's priority if she's, um, at work and paying to be there. there is a time and a place for everything, and hanging out and shooting the shit with customers for hours on end with no compensation can be ok outside the club, but not really inside. he also said he had no intentions of paying her anymore money, and never has..so there goes your vip theory.i have no problem spending extra time with a guy as long as he's paying or i think there is a good chance that he will. we know all about "building rapport" and this isn't it. not to mention, pretty annoying when a dancer sits with guys the whole night for free kind of like giving extras. the club isn't the place to look for a boyfriend or find friends. so, she may not be "stupid" per say, but she's at least very deluded or very bad at her job.
    Fair enough point simone. If the story is true, then I have no idea what this dancer in particular is trying to prove. Certainly the club is no place to build a personal relationship. If her motivation is to make money off the guy, she's doing a poor job. Maybe the OP is exaggerating how much time she spends with him during her shift.

    My point is that not all dancers who take a few moments to grab a drink, or chat, with a customer are "stupid". It may be part of their game, or they may just want a few moments away from the hustle.

    Some clubs in my area do not require dancers pay any fee to dance there (instead, the club takes a cut of dance earnings), and many more require only modest payments ($50 - $75). That could certainly explain why it seems to be a far more relaxed atmosphere here than in many clubs State-side.

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    My point is that not all dancers who take a few moments to grab a drink, or chat, with a customer are "stupid". It may be part of their game, or they may just want a few moments away from the hustle.
    I agree but that's not what the OP was talking about in his post. He was claiming that a dancer that he spends less than $20 on spends her entire shift sitting with him when she's not on stage or dancing for someone else. I've spent time over the years with many dancers that I know from the club but don't buy dances from. We chat for a few minutes, I buy them a drink and they go back to work. They may stop by for a few minute again during the course of the night but that's a far cry from the curious behavior that this thread was started on.

    Quote Originally Posted by ushar View Post
    Some clubs in my area do not require dancers pay any fee to dance there (instead, the club takes a cut of dance earnings), and many more require only modest payments ($50 - $75). That could certainly explain why it seems to be a far more relaxed atmosphere here than in many clubs State-side.
    Where do you club ushar?
    Last edited by yoda57us; 06-28-2014 at 07:45 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Am I a regular now?

    Putting aside for a second how much of the OP's yarn I buy, ushar does make an interesting point about the impact that house fees can have on dancer behavior. I tend to dislike clubbing in places where house fees are exorbitant because I find the hustle and overall BS factors to be high. After all, what can you expect when each girl in a club is in the hole $200+ before she steps foot on the floor? Now one could argue that this type of structure also weeds out the weak talent, but in my opinion the bad behaviors often found in these places generally outweigh any incremental improvement in talent.

    Conversely, as someone who often visits clubs with lower house fees, and some that even charge very little or nothing, I can say that there are definitely bad sides to this as well. Girls who probably shouldn't be dancing at all, those who don't want to interact with guys at all, and those who don't treat this as a real job, etc., are much more likely to survive far longer in a place where they don't have a nut to cover. The lack of a sink or swim element also doesn't force girls to develop sales skills. It has often been my experience that clubs that don't charge much in the way of house fees tend to be a very mixed bag on the talent and motivation front.

    Anyway, just my and I don't mean to derail the thread. This might actually be an interesting topic for a thread on the blue side.

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