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Thread: Sexual Assault

  1. #1
    Senior Member sashafeminista's Avatar
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    Default Sexual Assault

    Hi everyone,

    I am going to start stripping in about a week and am super nervous and excited about it as I've been wanting to try it out for months! However, I'm a little nervous and concerned about getting sexually assaulted....from everyone's experiences working in strip clubs, does it happen often? And when it happens, how do you work around it?

    I am extremely assertive and usually lose my shit when guys disrespect me, which is obviously good that I'm not ignoring it. I just don't want it to enrage me every time it happens but also always stand up for myself and my boundaries when guys act like morons. I'm also trying to find a good club where the dancers seem happy and the security is overall not dodgy and seem to look after the girls.

    I'm sure everyone's experiences differ, but am interested to know some of your stories and how some of you deal with this stuff when it occurs.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sexual Assault

    This was smtg that happened to me a bit over 2 yrs ago:



    I ended up going to Jacksonville for a few nites to work but was so scared from that exp, & so burnt out, that I just quit dancing for a while.

    I have been assaulted quite a few times in the 5yrs I have been dancing, from 'minor' things like being kissed w/o my consent(& licked by a dancer I didn't even know when I went to tip her onstage :ick: ) to grabbed inappropriately during dances or stage sets, or had ppl try to finger me.

    Unfortunately it is smtg that comes w/ the territory of dancing, but the frequency/severity will depend on the club, along w/ how it is handled. I get physically aggressive when grabbed inappropriately -- I have knocked out customers' teeth & broke bones. Martial arts background + pole dancer strength + very good aim.

    Worked briefly at a club in Orlando that was so bad abt this that one girl carried a straight razor in her shoe to protect herself. I packed my bag & left the nite I learnt abt that, didn't finish the shift & nvr went back. At my home club in TX, the bouncers were on top of their game, problem was their hands were sm times tied by mgmt, who chewed me out more than on e over 'my penchant for over-reacting' & called me a liability. Their sister club suspended me for boxing a customer's ears & rupturing his eardrum when he held me down & fingered me during a dance; he was a high-roller. My last club was in DC, no contact, 3ft rule during dances & bouncers/mgmt actually cared & protected the dancers; in the 2mos I worked there, only had to smack or kick two customers & I was supported both times by the staff. This is the basic broad range of the security spectrum, so to speak, & I have worked at clubs that fell kind of in between these.

    You do need to develop a strong sense of your boundaries, esp in a contact club. Learn to dance defencively, know where the customer's hands are all the time if possible, lay out your rules at the beginning & stick to them. Take time off when you need it, don't try to just shove it down sm where & not deal w/ it when shit happens to you at work, whether this or anything else. Read the 'Preserving Your Emotional/Psychological Well-Being thread inside&out, & take it to heart. Also come here for support when you need it!

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    Senior Member sashafeminista's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sexual Assault

    Thanks for your reply Aniela, I am so sorry to hear that that happened to you, that is truly awful! And it so disgusting that no one tried to protect you, I can't imagine what that must've been like for you. I have been sexually assaulted quite a few times and have always tried to stand up for myself, do whatever I could to look out for myself. Once I picked a fight and security wouldn't do anything to help when they were assaulting me, it was so shit. Are you still dancing now?
    It does sound like a good idea to set strict boundaries for myself. Sounds like it does depend on the club too...i have shopped around and walked out of certain strip clubs shuddering at the thought of working there...but not at the one I'm hoping to work at, overall it had a nice vibe.

    Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it And please also seek support whenever you need it! Recovering from something like that would be difficult

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    Default Re: Sexual Assault

    That sounds awful Aniela. *hugs*

    Ive also been curious about this too. Ive only had one encounter with someone like this before in my promiscuous/escort days and I didnt really know exactly what was going on until later in life, looking back, when I got older.

    I still want to dance tho (no extras here!). And thankfully it may be in the DC/VA area where it seems the club sticks up for the girls.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sexual Assault

    Idk what VA is like bc I nvr danced there, but DC is no contact by city ordinance so it def seems to cut down this kind of thing. DC is probably where I have felt safest dancing bc of the no contact rule.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sexual Assault

    yes, being assaulted is unfortunately common with this job, and it really shouldn't be , there's no excuse. one of the reasons i can only work 2 days a week is because im so sick of fending off hands, fingers,tongues, and sometimes teeth!. its exhausting, draining, and makes me so angry i really can't deal with it full time. a lot of clubs get greedy and not only encourage their dancers to allow extras, they will ignore assault perpetrated by high rolling customers that spend a lot of money.
    every job comes with a downside though, so be clear about your boundaries upfront and stick to them, be aware of their hands, try and find a good club that doesn't allow their girls to be molested for a few bucks, and good luck!

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sexual Assault

    If you define sexual assault this can include verbal, visual, and physical.

    https://www.womenshealth.gov/publica...l-assault.html

    Now that I know the definition, I guess this counts the time I had a customer whip his d*ck out during my dance to which I told him to cover up or he could get kicked out and to give me extra money to compensate me for ruining my precious eyes cause I did not want to see all that. Another time I was giving a private dance and a customer planted his face in my a$$ while my back was turned. Luckily I had thong and bottoms on but still unwanted.

    Anyways point is I dont know how often sexual assault occurs in the club and to what extent (cause management/security varies from club to club) but I assume this type of thing does occur. From what you say you are pretty assertive and that will help you a lot. To be safe I'd advise to be aware of your surroundings like a hawk, learn to read people/body language and get money upfront when you know a dude is drunk, high, weird, etc. because they are less likely to test your boundaries knowing you could punish them by ending the dance anytime

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    Default Re: Sexual Assault

    I don't think you're going to find one girl on this board who has been stripping for more than a year to answer 'no' to your question. Unfortunately, it's part of the job. I have been sexually, physically, and emotionally assaulted by customers. I don't particularly feel like describing the exact circumstances at the moment but they were very unpleasant experiences, to say the least, and when I was physically assaulted I can honestly say I was terrified.

    You will have to learn how to deal with customers in a direct and firm but calm way-- unfortunately, as Aniela has stated, management doesn't back us up 99% of the time. The customer that physically assaulted was not thrown out, I was suspended from a club that I worked at on and off for 5 years for giving a manager attitude when a customer stuck his finger up my vagina on the floor. You have to be able to defend yourself, so take a self defense class. But, unless you are physically in danger of being assaulted, I would try to avoid using physical force. The problem is, not only will management not back you up, but you never know what a customer is going to be like-- you have no idea if you're dealing with someone who is mentally unstable and is going to lash out with sudden violence you didn't predict, and he might be stronger than you. Obviously if you are in physical danger, use force.

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    Default Re: Sexual Assault

    Research your clubs carefully and mind what you say to customers. It has happened to me, but very infrequently. I consider myself very lucky because the only assault I have been exposed to my a man was grabbing my boobs against my will. From female customers, I get it often, so I do not dance for them anymore.

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  14. #10
    Senior Member sashafeminista's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sexual Assault

    Unfortunately yes I don't think I have ever heard a dancer say she hasn't been assaulted...however I don't think I've ever known a single woman who hasn't been sexually assaulted before Sorry to hear you've all had to deal with such crap.

    The club I'm wanting to work at, most of the girls seemed genuinely happy there and said security takes pretty good care of them when guys are being assholes,compared to some other clubs in my city. So if that's true that is obviously great. Guess I'll find out soon....

    Thanks everyone for your advice, you've all been very helpful with your info!!
    Last edited by sashafeminista; 06-25-2014 at 12:02 AM.

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