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Thread: Being "friendly" with other dancers

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    Veteran Member misssincere's Avatar
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    Default Being "friendly" with other dancers

    So. Recently I've noticed a lot of teaming up and working together. Say there's a large group that comes in and is looking for girls, a girl that's already with the group will grab a friend. Or if someone approaches someone that's not too into them they'll grab someone else for the custy to see if they're more their type. I personally am not very friendly in the club. I converse with a few girls while at work but that's about it. So the money I make is purely on my own luck and time. But I'm starting to wonder if I should be more friendly for a monetary benefit. Opinions?

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    Don't do it. "Friends" can just as quickly turn to enemies. It's one thing to hunt cooperatively which is fine. But I trust very few.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    God/dess lynn2009's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    Don't do it!!!

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I'm always polite but not really friendly. I've noticed being 'friends' with girls up at my club isn't the best idea, they tend to pull you into drama that has nothing to do with you. Or use things you tell them against you when they decide that friendship has run it's course. Or a multitude of other things.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    you can be "friendly" without being actual friends with them. i'm only really friends with one other stripper, but i'll team up sometimes with other girls if there is a group. i'll usually see them standing and surveying the room and i'll just ask if they wanna go talk to the group of guys ( of if they have yet). definitely don't go in there looking to become bosom friends with them or talk about your personal life, but you don't have to do that to team up for work. just keep it professional and polite

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    All these answers is exactly why I've never been friendly previously. But seeing all of the groups of "friends" at my club, I thought it was just me being antisocial lol

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    Veteran Member lovelydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I'm nice to a select few, but I'm out for my own money. If a group comes in, it's up to the dancers to take it upon themselves to approach any of the many men. The only time I'll bring a girl over is if a guy specifically asks for her. I don't like double hustling, double dances, etc. I find it messes with my money. By no means will I cut throat someone, but I work alone, because nobody will look out for me better then I will.

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    God/dess lynn2009's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I always did well with groups by being the first to approach by myself then being the girl all the guys buy dances for their friends with.

    I'll repeat what others have said now, which is being polite by not overly friendly. This was hard for me to learn because I am so used to professional vanilla environments where everyone goes out of their way to make small talk, but it's not appropriate in the club. Especially if you like to keep your privacy. Not to mention once things got slow the "friendly" girls were the cattiest and bitchiest.

    Anytime that I've seen 2 girls doubling up it's been a veteran or top earner helping out a lowering-earning friend of hers, NOT a symbiotic relationship.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I disagree somewhat. In an old club of mine I made WAY more money when I teamed up. Like double. When a group of dancers with good rapport finds qualified buyers the peer pressure goes a long way. Just make sure you're on the same page as far as boundaries go, and just stay work friends, not IRL friends.

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    Normally I would agree with not making friends at work, but in some of the bigger clubs in NYC (Sapphire, Hustler, etc.) it was fairly common to see groups of girls working groups of guys to get them in the back. Like lolita said, if you work with a group of girls you need to trust them in regards to your boundaries. There are girls that will team up, but if you don't know what their boundaries are it can lead to bad situations. It's kind of like how those girls in NYC got busted recently - they worked together to fish customers from upscale bars and bring them to the club to drug them and max out their credit cards. I remember you said you worked in Vegas and I don't think it is any different because I've met a few girls who showed me their 'tricks' to get guys to spend in the VIP. Be careful.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I have had varying success teaming up w/ other girls to hustle, but by & large I prefer to work alone. Exception is approaching groups of 3+ as I am very shy & prefer to have a friend to back me up.

    I wouldn:t go asking random girls to partner up, as Starling & lol1337a mentioned you don't want to find yourself in a sticky spot w/ extras girls or junkies. Also you need a girl w/ good chemistry, so you two can play off each other as the hustle progresses. Nothing more awkward than jokes falling flat or innuendo being deflated bc one of you is slow on the uptake or just doesn't mesh well humour-wise.

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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I'm friendly/social at work with the other girls. I have a strategy for who I'll team up with. Usually when I need a dancer to work with, it's because too many regulars came in at the same time, and I have to pick who I'm going to spend my time with. This is when I'll find other girls who are comfortable performing at the same level of contact as I am, and make sure my regulars are occupied with them so that they don't feel like their trip to the club was a waste of time.

    I am not IRL friends with the dancers I work with. Just like with any other business, if you can't meet the needs of a particular customer, it is a good idea to have someone else you can turn to for help when it is busy.

    I am way less possessive of my regulars than most girls. In fact, I like meeting new guys who I can turn into regulars. I don't like putting all my eggs in one basket, so I am always working on finding the next whale.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I've always been of the belief be friendly but not friends. I've seen friends turn into enemies because of dancing. I would talk to the other dancers but kept it light, like "how are you" or "terrible weather". I've teamed up with dancers but it was one of those I was friendliest with who also had a different look than me (like she was black, blonde wit fake boobs etc). Teaming up isn't a bad thing because sometimes you can make more money but I preferred one on one as it's easier to deal with.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    Its so crazy i saw this thread, i was about to start one like this. Theirs this girl at my job who im friendly toward and i had to check myself bcuz my real personality is very nice warm and laid back. We talk at work.
    We survwy the room together, etc. I helped her out on a dance, because i was milking this particular custy foe dances. THAT SHIT BACK FIRED ON ME! He continued to dance with her. I cut myself short!!! I also noticed she began to become a little to comfortable with me. She interrupted my hustle to tell me (right in front of this custy) that he had no money to give me because he didnt give her any. The custy got angry, tipped me for my time and left. She is ok as far as i can throw her. But idk somethinr rubs me the wrong way about her.
    Anywho, dont go out looking for friends. Dont trust ppl. Its less than a few dancers you can trust. Ive had more encounters with dancers, fortunetly i catch on fast. There is one girl in my club who pointed me in the direction of money and i returned the favor (we still look out for eachother on a business standpoint). But this other girl i wont be looking out for anymore. Thats just how it is.
    scared money makes no money

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I think in my club the girls who have been there a long time have a mutual respect/trust towards eachother and we don't mind working together if need be. We're all in it for the money, after all so we understand we need to attack as a pack sometimes to get shit done. New girls everyone is weary of... otherwise were coworkers and cooperate.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    The girls at my home club are a tightly nit group. We're mostly all friends and hang outside the club on a regular basis. That said mixing business and friends is never a good idea. When were at work were all in it for ourselves.

    I used to work with a friend who had a similar look to me turned into disaster. Not everyone that claims to be cool with you or friends actually is. Most girls have their own interest at heart.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    Yeah I used to be super friendly and helpful and I really wanted to fit in. I got in with the "in" crowd only to find out they don't make money, they were literally happy walking with $50. That's just my experience. Fortunately I work in a very low drama club. We're all "friendly" but girls don't really work together like that (ever since that group was fired)

    I just like to stay cordial and keep my name clean. I don't want or need friends here. Even if I made a little more money having friends I would honestly pass.

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    Veteran Member littlelizard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    For the most part I work alone and prefer it that way. But there are definitely times I've doubled up with girls and it's worked in my favor. Sometimes it's good if there's 2 guys and 2 girls because the conversation leading towards dances flows better. Also many guys enjoy having a dance from 2 girls at the same time. So sometimes it benefits you by working with the other dancers. I know it's not the best answer, but it really depends on the situation. In the end, do whatever is going to make you the most money and what you are comfortable with, whether it's by yourself or with other girls.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by lynn2009 View Post
    Not to mention once things got slow the "friendly" girls were the cattiest and bitchiest.

    Anytime that I've seen 2 girls doubling up it's been a veteran or top earner helping out a lowering-earning friend of hers, NOT a symbiotic relationship.
    THIS THIS THIS.
    This has happened to me more times than I can count. Actually it's happened several times to me in the past week.
    I'm not even friendly, I'm just cordial. But in comparison to most of the girls with attitude problems at my urban club, I guess I seem pretty friendly.

    But now I've had to develop a bitch resting face. And I understand why all the top earners at my club have one. The money I make bringing another girl into the picture is not worth the headache.

    The only way this has worked out in my favor is with my friend who has a completely opposite look from me. So when we go up to groups of guys usually there's a guy that likes that look and one that likes mine. And usually when one of us goes on stage, the one still with the group convinces them to throw money. If you do team up, I recommend doing it with someone with a totally different look.

    Anytime I've become friendly with a Latina or teamed up with someone similar to my look it's backfired on me.

    One thing I have to say though is the other day I made an extra $200 off some guys at the last minute just because I was the only one that came up to them. I picked the quiet friend and it ended up working out in my favor because his crazy, loud friends loved that I was the only one showing him attention so instead of just one guy tipping me, it was 3. I find that in groups of guys, when you go for the shy one, you make more money because his friends spend money trying to get him to come out of his shell or to embarrass him. If I had picked another girl to come over with me, that money would have been cut in half.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    But I'm starting to wonder if I should be more friendly for a monetary benefit.
    I've noticed being 'friends' with girls up at my club isn't the best idea, they tend to pull you into drama that has nothing to do with you. Or use things you tell them against you when they decide that friendship has run it's course. Or a multitude of other things.
    you can be "friendly" without being actual friends with them.
    indeed, I was taught hard lessons in this regard during my early days of dancing. It's one thing to have mutually beneficial 'cooperation' with fellow dancers while working at the club. It's another thing altogether to actually be 'friends' with fellow dancers. In my own experience, the latter will lead to ...

    - blurring of the 'line' between your dancer persona and your real life, since expectation of social interaction outside the club will inevitably follow

    - intrusion of personal drama into your real life, as the dancer 'friend' will inevitably ask for rides, loans, personal advice, etc.

    - potential risk exposure, as the dancer 'friend' will also have other 'friends' ... some of which may not exactly be 'fine upstanding citizens'.

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    Featured Member Aurora14's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I will chit chat with others. I will run doubles with girls. I go to breakfast. I've even given some ladies rides to and from work. That being said, I know who I can't and will not do these types of things with. And my big rule is to never tell a dancer something you don't want the customers to know. I told a girl I was friendly with that I was pregnant and she let it slip. A girl that didn't like me heard it and it was in every customer's ear from that point on.

    Also, when it comes to new girls (or I have come back from a break and don't know the girls) I don't talk to them until they have been around a month. I'll be nice, but I need to observe the way a person operates so I know what category they fit in. That way I don't go setting myself up to be screwed.

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    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I used to be quite friendly with most dancers, but that didn't keep me from lowering my guard either. I did end up making solid friendships with plenty of dancers, and we still talk and all despite I'm away from them.





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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    Friendly, yes. Friends, no thank you.

    Being friendly has given me many monetary rewards. If a coworker is busy with somebody and their regular comes in looking for dances, they will let me know. I basically view it as scratching each others' backs.
    I'd grab my trumpet and I'd do a stripper sound, like the old Louis Armstrong, real raspy. And the people would go nuts! Then I knew that the sexual, sensual, guttural sound, that throbbing sound, is where it's at.

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I am not there to make friends. I dont do the group thing. I dont do the double thing. Its a great way to get ripped off.. whether they know who your regs are or they directly steal from you! Im there to make my money.. not help anyone else make theirs!

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    Default Re: Being "friendly" with other dancers

    I am not a super friendly person by nature but when girls in the club are friendly with me, I am friendly with them. That being said, I learned my lesson with working at a bar and letting coworkers know too much of my business so I honestly prefer not to involve work friends in my personal affairs.

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