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Thread: Awful night and terrified newbie

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    Senior Member sashafeminista's Avatar
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    Sad Awful night and terrified newbie

    So it was my second night last night and very first Saturday night and I had just a horrible night. I was feeling so overwhelmed and emotional at the start and the entire night I only made 20 bucks. I guess it makes sense as I was feeling super anxious and just wanted to stay in the dressing room...my first night I did pretty well, about $340. other girls were whinging that it was a shit night too however they still had 50s and 100s in their garters! The girl training me wasn't too helpful either and I just didn't know how to handle everything. I also had a stage dance on new stages and had no idea how it really worked, they didn't even explain what to do when I got to work and that I had to write my name down, and I guess I got so confused and ended up being late and got fined $50! I was very apologetic to the dancer and offered a tip, I felt terrible. Then later on in the night I was late again, I felt so useless I couldn't believe how everything was going and I was just dying to go home. After my last stage dance I left. I spent all night there and just lost money, I even had to go to an ATM to get money to pay my fine, embarrassing! And guys just weren't buying dances...

    I gave my boss 24 hour notice last night to not come in tonight just to ease into the job a bit more but she hasn't replied so now I'm freaking out and hasn't really specified details. But I am not going in, I would just be pushing myself mentally and I'm feeling a little sad and depressed today, and I almost had a panic attack the other night as I have been suffering from anxiety.. so now I'm just freaking out and guess I had to have a bit of a vent on SW!

    I guess I'm still trying to know if this job is for me, and was wondering if anyone else has any advice or similar experiences? I found myself enjoying moments of this job, the dancing etc. But I just feel so down from last night and cannot mentally switch off..

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    It sounds like you might want to try a smaller club, weekend night shifts can be really intimidating when you're new. There are more customers, more girls, and it can be disorienting when the place is crowded and you don't really know your way around the club and its rules. I'd suggest you try a day shift or a night at the beginning of the week, and get a feel for the place and the staff, then if you're still not feeling it consider trying a different club.

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    I definitely second trying weeknight shifts to get a handle on how your club operates. I was given that advice when I very first started and glad I took it (I live in a college town and weekends get CRAZY). I can remember my first Saturday night vividly, I'm sure getting my feet wet previously helped IMMENSELY. Although this is just my experience and dancing isn't for everyone but it's definitely worth a try.

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    Yeah I think I'll definitely do only weeknight shifts first. Really regret jumping into the weekend like that! It has sort of scared me away from dancing a bit, but would like to slowly get back into it.. I'm currently in a busy city too so it was way too full on for me. Otherwise smaller club might suit me also..Thanks for the tips!

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    Give yourself a little time to get your head together and build up confidence. I'd try working on your hustling technique (read the hustle hut). If there are any major events going on in your city/town (i.e, sporting events (could even do global, such as the world cup) a new attraction being built etc, maybe research into it. It will give you some common ground to start a conversation. Guys want to talk about things they like, want, or just purely themselves. Remember, this is THEIR fantasy, and YOUR money! So once he realises you both have common interest, he should keep talking about other things he likes, that you can go along with (fake it to you make it if all else fails. If he realises your faking it, he will probably appreciate the effort anyway). Then ask him if he would like to continue things in a private area, or if he would like to see a little more skin while you keep talking. Try avoid the question "want a dance?". Its not appealing. Just think of this every time you say it or go to say it . Don't be THAT girl.

    The dancer that was showing you the ropes the first night was probably told to do it by a dance manager, and looks at you as competition, so she is going to show you as little as possible. Watch what the other girls are doing in the club as well (stages, talking to guys, private shows) it will give you more of an idea what to do. Even search on youtube the basics on how to move, it will give you more confidence. Only do what your confident with at first, and step by step break out of that confidence zone.

    Think of dancing/stripping as a JOB. When your late to a normal job, usually warnings, written warnings and dismissal follow, think of fines as warning! Make sure you know your times, even if you have to ask managers once or twice and then WRITE them down, it will help you remember. Also ask your dance manager for a copy of a list showing what you can be fine for, to ensure you never break any rules.

    Over time, you'll make good friends, and be more comfortable. Remember this job is very different from any other job you've done. You're working for commission competing against other girls. Its cut throat but the outcome can be great if you work hard, stay out of drama, and hold your head high. Good Luck! Hope this helped.

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    ^^^all of this is great advice. I'm pretty bad about not wanting to go in after an especially bad shift. Gotta remember it's a new day with new customers and by not going in you're potentially leaving hundreds of dollars on the table (which you've proven u can make by your first night).

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    Everyone else' advice is good, just want to add...please stop being a people pleaser... this is not the job for that. You don't have to be that apologetic and offering co-workers tips, as you are new and there is no need to beat yourself over things. Most aren't pros over night, things take time and life in general takes a little trail and error in order to be good at things... Most places are not that friendly to newbies anyway, they won't respect you ever if you're always apologizing and giving them tip money.

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    Everyone else' advice is good, just want to add...please stop being a people pleaser... this is not the job for that. You don't have to be that apologetic and offering co-workers tips, as you are new and there is no need to beat yourself over things. Most aren't pros over night, things take time and life in general takes a little trail and error in order to be good at things... Most places are not that friendly to newbies anyway, they won't respect you ever if you're always apologizing and giving them tip money.
    Agreed, esp giving tip $$. Tips are supposed to be given for doing a really good job, right? Did you really think that 'mentoring' dancer did a good job of showing you what's what? Take the nite or two off needed to get your head straight, but learn from this exp OP, that a little hard-assery goes a long way in this job. Ppl-pleasing will get you chewed up & spit out, & throwing 'tip $$' at every1 who says 'I will help you' regardless of how helpful they actually were will make you a target.

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    Your personality may be better suited to week nights or day shifts. I make great money on day shift, but a packed weekend night will have me leaving with very little money. Maybe you should go in tonight. I think you will see the club with a whole different vibe.

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    ^^ all of the above and read the "Law of Attraction" thread in Hustle Hut to psyche yourself up and go back feeling like a beautiful money magnet!

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    Thanks everyone for the advice....I'll agree with the people pleasing too, I guess I just didn't wanna piss anyone off as a newbie! and I do feel very much more suited to the quieter nights

    I noticed that sometimes my conversations with men became a bit too normal, rather than a fantasy so I think I'll need to work on that a bit...guys seem to really like me but never bought dances from me

    haven't been back since Sat but I really needed the time off to slowly sink everything in, I'm finding this job mentally exhausting right now and I'm hoping I can get through that!

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    Thanks everyone for the advice....I'll agree with the people pleasing too, I guess I just didn't wanna piss anyone off as a newbie! and I do feel very much more suited to the quieter nights

    I noticed that sometimes my conversations with men became a bit too normal, rather than a fantasy so I think I'll need to work on that a bit...guys seem to really like me but never bought dances from me

    haven't been back since Sat but I really needed the time off to slowly sink everything in, I'm finding this job mentally exhausting right now and I'm hoping I can get through that!

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    Ok, I just wanted to say I have found myself in similar situations. I have a thread posted "Doing just about everything wrong in Vegas" ..ladies there have given amazing advice & the best was to read Hustle Hut...tons of info there...I started with the Law of Attraction thread and I'm hooked! I recommend watching "The Secret"...or "You can Heal your life" by Louise Hay...There's tons of free info on the law of attraction & lots of youtube videos...please do yourself a favor & read that thread over there...the ladies are definitely on to something...it all starts with you, in your mind & how you talk to yourself...I really believe in it anyway...we will see how it works out because I'm going in tonight to try w/ a whole new attitude & only positive supportive uplifting thoughts to myself....think "I'm so excited to start this new job & learn all I can! I'm so thankful and appreciative I can work such a fun job and make great money! Men love me and want dances from me!" Like instantly snuff out thoughts like "I'm so nervous" "I'm so broke, I hope I make $ tonight" "Nobody is buying dances from me"...just DON'T think those thoughts & if you can somehow turn them positive in your favor....they are just thoughts...we lie to ourself all the time "I'm a failure, nothing I do is right"...and it has consequeces as that is what we attract....so why not tell yourself positive things (even if you don't believe it at first--keep w/ it you will start to) and let them attract positivity in your life....IDK, I don't know anything else that makes sense..hope that helps, you aren't alone girl!

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    I noticed that sometimes my conversations with men became a bit too normal, rather than a fantasy so I think I'll need to work on that a bit...guys seem to really like me but never bought dances from me

    This.

    Oh, girl...I totally feel your pain!! I'm everyones best friend, but nobody buys dances!! I realize now...maybe because I never asked? lol

    Good luck & I so identify w/ how you are feeling right now...good move taking time off this is a 100% mental job...I feel like if my mind isn't right I shouldn't go in until it is...I hope you really give the secret & the law of attraction stuff a chance...you sound a lot like me and I think it will only help you

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    Default Re: Awful night and terrified newbie

    Thank you, that was all great advice! And I agree with you completely, I usually always try and think positive thoughts with the goals I have in life so I definitely want to make that a habit at work too! Was just having such an awful night and may have gotten too caught up with a negative train of thought. I actually haven't stripped for a while because I don't have transport in the city I'm in currently, but am returning soon. The time off has definitely helped and made me reflect on stuff. I have been wanting to read the law of attraction, I think people pick up your vibe too and thoughts are just so powerful in there.

    Glad to know I am not alone! Especially feeling like people's friend at the club, lol. That's exactly what I was doing, making friends but no money haha. Good luck!!
    Sex workers don't sell their bodies. We sell tickets to experiencing part of our sexual expression. Our bodies remain ours. - Ari Dee

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