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Thread: How many dates till you sleep together?

  1. #101
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    ^ Raziel, with all due respect you say things that sound poetic and philosophical, but, don't really mean anything at all. What does 'standing by my side' really mean? I know its a metaphor, but, you sound like a monk who says simple poetic things that don't mean anything in the real world.

    No two people are equal. Whether you compare two men, two women, a man and a woman, people of difference races, etc. There is no wisdom is not saying "we are all equal" and "we all stand side by side". That's just 'progressive' BS that does more harm than good. Each of us has an enormous potential to shine and be special in some way, but, we also suck at many things.

    If you have a kid that sucks at baseball and you give him a trophy and encourage him to continue wasting time on something that can only lead to disappointment, that is not helpful. Instead, you should tell that kid, "Sorry kid, baseball is not your thing, you suck at it. But, there are a million other activities you can do. Go FIND YOUR THING and you will be BOSS at whatever that thing may be."

    My approach to finding my partner is not in finding my 'equal', but, in finding the woman that challenges me. (And, I am no good to her, unless, I also challenge her.) In somethings, she is my clear superior, and she will make me a better man. In other things, I do the same for her. We are human, we each have strengths and weaknesses. We complement each other and watch each other's back.

    Many 'feminist men' treat women like white progressives treat minorities, i.e., lets lower the standards and use affirmative action to artificially 'elevate' them to a position equal with males. That is patronizing and condescending BS.

    Instead, of trying to artificially make women 'equal', why not just recognize their inherent strengths and those qualities that tend to make them actually superior to men? In many ways, men are the weakest links and women are the solid and strong links that have to make up for the weakness of men. In our patriarchal culture, we downplay those qualities in which women tend to show superiority (e.g., peace, order and creating nurturing environments), and, we emphasize the qualities in which men tend to show superiority (e.g., territorial aggression and claiming possession to things). We need to be cleansed of this brainwashing. Women do not need affirmative action, they just need to be acknowledged. I come from a family of very strong women. They are the strong links that keep shit together when all hell is about to break loose, and, the men have been weak links (although, they APPEAR to be powerful under society's patriarchal standards of power).

    What makes me a feminist is not that I am not an 'ALLY', but, that I am a WITNESS to the power of women. I have seen it, I continue to see it, and I can testify to it.

    And, I have always been attracted to powerful women. If I tell my partner that we have to stand side by side, I am going to slow her down. Instead, I am going to encourage her to go at her own pace and I am going to work my ass off to try to keep up. And, once in a while, I will be ahead and she'll have to work harder to keep up.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 08-21-2020 at 09:46 PM.
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  2. #102
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    With regards to the original questions about how many dates till you sleep together, it depends. If you have terrific sexual chemistry and you are both sexually liberated and mature, then, the first date might be okay. But, there are so many different variables.

    I felt ready right away with some women, but, with others, I needed more time to get to know them. Some people are more mysterious than others and it takes more time to reach that point of intimacy. Good intimacy needs to happen at all levels: physical, intellectual and emotional (and maybe, spiritual, too). If you don't have all those connections, yet, it may be best to wait until you connect on all these levels. It also depends on whether the relationship you are embarking on is one of thrill and adventure or whether it has the potential to lead to a life together. You can afford to make a few mistakes if it is purely for thrills and adventure, but, when you meet someone truly special enough that makes you think about having babies and growing old together, you have to be more careful with each step you take. Me personally, if it has a potential for a serious long term relationship, I enjoy a little courting and a little challenge. I will not judge or hold it against us if we sleep together on the first date, but, I enjoy building up to it with a few dates and savoring each one of the bases before the getting to the big homerun.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

  3. #103
    God/dess Raziel's Avatar
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    ^ Raziel, with all due respect you say things that sound poetic and philosophical, but, don't really mean anything at all. What does 'standing by my side' really mean? I know its a metaphor, but, you sound like a monk who says simple poetic things that don't mean anything in the real world.
    The whole thing was poetic, it was meant to be. She does stand by my side, i want her to. But it was all Metaphor. Put simply, i don't believe i am any better than the women here on this site (or any where). I believe we are all worthy of Respect, Justice, and Love. Until we prove we are not worthy of that, and this goes for Men, too. All of us are moving into the future. We need to do it together. What's wrong with a little respect for Women? 51% of the Human race.

    More Women out there than Men, after all.

    BTW: I always try to write very concise, i don't write an essay. For example, the post you wrote, that i'm responding to, would have been MURDER for me. I do enough writing. I don't need to do any more. Look, when i write, it's usually about some dude on a Spaceship, or Time Travel, or a Cat's Eyes when he's facing down little Demons, or Misty things. I try not to write much outside of that. That shit pays. Science Fiction Guys and Girls EAT THAT UP. And that's how i make my living. And i probably make more money than you do. Plus, i can write until they pin the nails in my coffin. I don't plan on EVER retiring. And, yeah, i get poetic at times.

    Oh and I sound like a Monk, yeah, sure. Cool. Thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    No two people are equal. Whether you compare two men, two women, a man and a woman, people of difference races, etc. There is no wisdom is not saying "we are all equal" and "we all stand side by side". That's just 'progressive' BS that does more harm than good. Each of us has an enormous potential to shine and be special in some way, but, we also suck at many things.
    Well', they LOOK equal to me. No offense, but who the FUCK are you to say they are not equal? Not worthy. Not deserving of equal Justice. Equal Love. Who the FUCK are you? You don't have that right. Sorry Jack, but i just read that and edited my post. You are NO ONE to be telling them YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM.

    We are ALL the same, ALL of us. Women AND Men. That nonsense you just put out is just pure BULLSHIT.

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    If you have a kid that sucks at baseball and you give him a trophy and encourage him to continue wasting time on something that can only lead to disappointment, that is not helpful. Instead, you should tell that kid, "Sorry kid, baseball is not your thing, you suck at it. But, there are a million other activities you can do. Go FIND YOUR THING and you will be BOSS at whatever that thing may be."
    I'd teach him Hockey. It's a better sport, anyway. Baseball is a bunch of Dudes scratching their balls and standing around. Hockey POPS! When you watch a Hockey game, you know it. Those guys are like Jet Fighters!

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    Many 'feminist men' treat women like white progressives treat minorities, i.e., lets lower the standards and use affirmative action to artificially 'elevate' them to a position equal with males. That is patronizing and condescending BS.
    Yeah, you're right, here. I despise Men who do this. But i believe Women are ACTUALLY equal. I'm better at some stuff, she's better at some stuff. It's the same with everyone. We are all worthy. We aren't the same, but we ARE equal.

    The rest of your post, i'm not going to argue with. If a guy goes and calls himself a "Feminist", chances are he's just trying to get Pussy. I don't buy the Witness stuff, but if that's how you feel, that's cool by me. At least it's better than the other thing. Myself, i consider myself an Ally. You're going to have to just deal with that.
    Last edited by Raziel; 08-23-2020 at 12:21 AM. Reason: Added a thank you
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  4. #104
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    And, if you look back at it, i did say it was a little idealistic.
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Oh, and with regards to the original questions, i won't sleep with her until SHE feels the time is right. I'm perfectly comfy walking back to my car without kissing her on the first date. I'm usually walking on air. Totally thrilled. Leave them wanting more, ya know? Might get date #2.
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Quote Originally Posted by AChildOfBoredom View Post
    But when you approach them, they tend to feel that they do. Even earlier today, I was shopping and I heard a guy ask of any of his friends had a lighter, so I offered him mine. I don’t smoke, I just carry one because. Of course, he took that as a come on, and after a minute of trying to chat me up, he offered me a cigarette. When I declined it and told him I don’t smoke, he asked why and I saw my opportunity to kill the conversation then and there, so I narrowed my eyes, clenched my fists, started taking slow, deep breaths, and I said to him, “When Ragnarok comes upon this land, Surtr will charge forth wielding a sword off of which will be emitted a great flame which will consume the earth… and I shall become the flame”. He just kinda stood there looking stunned, so I walked off.

    It’s really the same at the club… if I approach someone at the club, they typically know why and I have to use powers of persuasion on them (which I can do pretty well). If they approach me and initiate a conversation - men or women - it’s a lot easier for me to get them to spend money.
    Interesting he did not pick up on the phallic symbolism of the sword.

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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Quote Originally Posted by slowpoke View Post
    Interesting he did not pick up on the phallic symbolism of the sword.
    Maybe his mind just went to mythology first.....?

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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    Oh, and with regards to the original questions, i won't sleep with her until SHE feels the time is right. I'm perfectly comfy walking back to my car without kissing her on the first date. I'm usually walking on air. Totally thrilled. Leave them wanting more, ya know? Might get date #2.
    I rarely kiss on first date. And if I do I prefer a peck only.

    Imo guys that try to slob you down on first date only want to try to turn you on in order to fuck you on said date.

    I’ll never forget the time this guy (I quickly ended it with him once I discovered he was a narcissistic jerk) tried to kiss me on the first date after he took me to a nice restaurant.

    I guess he erroneously thought since he took me to a nice restaurant that I owed him a kiss.

    Nope.

    At the end this mf started gazing into my eyes with these googly look in his eyes and instead of picking up on my non verbal cues he thought an extended gaze then playing with my hair would get him what he wanted.

    I left with no regret of not kissing him.

    the guys who push for more too soon I usually end it with them / put them in fuckboi category

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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    I usually go for maybe the THIRD date. I like Women a lot, and I always try to take them to interesting places, stuff the last guy didn't do, not just dinner and a movie. But the Science Center, or Glow in the Dark Miniature Golf, if she's up to it maybe ziplining, something like that. But usually there's is dinner involved.

    Sometimes it's Dinner and a movie, but only when it's one either I or She really wants to see. I held my nose and took one girl to see The Notebook because she was chomping at the bit to see it. So i took her. I was prepared for absolute Hell, but it was better than i thought it would be. But never Deuce Bigalow Male Giggalo or ANY of it's ilk. She wants to see that crap she gonna have to go with her Girlfriends. That crap is fucking HELL.

    But i WILL walk her to her door.
    Last edited by Raziel; 08-23-2020 at 07:52 PM. Reason: Wanted to add walking her to her door
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  14. #110
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    There's a Restaurant around here, it's Greek. Called Olympia. That's my Go To destination for first dates. The food is fan-fucking-tastic.
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    I rarely kiss on first date
    I can rarely even keep any interest halfway through the first date. And so they end up being the only dates. Maybe the woman who told me I’m inhuman was right.
    Written on the walls at the house of sorrow
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    I could not remain in that room

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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    I usually go for maybe the THIRD date. I like Women a lot, and I always try to take them to interesting places, stuff the last guy didn't do, not just dinner and a movie. But the Science Center, or Glow in the Dark Miniature Golf, if she's up to it maybe ziplining, something like that. But usually there's is dinner involved.

    Sometimes it's Dinner and a movie, but only when it's one either I or She really wants to see. I held my nose and took one girl to see The Notebook because she was chomping at the bit to see it. So i took her. I was prepared for absolute Hell, but it was better than i thought it would be. But never Deuce Bigalow Male Giggalo or ANY of it's ilk. She wants to see that crap she gonna have to go with her Girlfriends. That crap is fucking HELL.

    But i WILL walk her to her door.
    I’d concur.

    Those sound like good ideas for dates Raziel

    The notebook was a good movie and there was some kissing scenes that were really hot.

    Male Gigalo was hilarious!

    But I guess it’s better to chose movies wisely in the beginning so as not to end up the the friend zone

    Walking a lady to her door is a great gentleman gesture

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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    BTW, as far as fucking goes, that's all on her. I'm not a guy that NEEDS to fuck all the time. I greatly prefer that there be something between us before we do that. Some guys are constantly sniffing at some girl's heels. I don't. When i said i prefer to do it on the third Date, i meant kissing, not fucking. None of this has anything to do with being the client of an Escort or something (Because i have done that in the past, always tried to treat them with respect, and i know exactly what that is).

    Oh, and i don't mind being in the friend zone. I have no problem being friends with a Woman. I like it. I'm friends with Snuffle, after all. You can see it before your eyes. I'm not trying to fuck her! (She has a man, anyway)

    Edit to add: I have to now mention a Hot Dog. So Hot Dog. I eat them occasionally. Actually, one sounds pretty good right now, @AChildOfBoredom
    Last edited by Raziel; 08-24-2020 at 04:35 AM.
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    hÃng tốt giá rẻ có dịch vụ giao hÃng thu tiá»n táºn nÆ¡i đảm bảo cho khách hÃng. phụ bạn má»™t tay chúc bạn ngÃy phát triển

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    All of that, and not one mention of a hot dog.
    Written on the walls at the house of sorrow
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    I could not remain in that room

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  24. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Male Gigalo was hilarious!
    Look, i didn't watch it, because it's a Rob Schneider movie, and i hate all of them (Including the Hot Chick, and Rachel McAdams is in that, an actress i really like). Those movies are DEADLY.

    BTW, Rachel was in the Notebook. She played the Female Lead. Something i know a bit about.

    Edit to add: I don't write Romance, but that doesn't mean i don't dig it. They just often fuck it up and it becomes shitty. They just treat the audience like they are stupid, like they don't have to pay attention to the story and just kissing scenes are enough. Every now and then there is an actually good Romance. But the Notebook was actually pretty good. Titanic, as well. I don't read the books, though. So i don't know how good they are. I read shit like Dune, and the Wheel of Time, The Expanse, or Lord of the Rings.

    BTW: Romantic Comedies are the DOOM OF MEN.
    Last edited by Raziel; 08-24-2020 at 04:58 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by pegasus027 View Post
    hÃng tốt giá rẻ có dịch vụ giao hÃng thu tiá»n táºn nÆ¡i đảm bảo cho khách hÃng. phụ bạn má»™t tay chúc bạn ngÃy phát triển
    You realize your speaking in an Alien Language, right? You keep posting this gibberish all over the site, nobody can understand you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by AChildOfBoredom View Post
    All of that, and not one mention of a hot dog.

    Without ketchup.

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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    I usually go for maybe the THIRD date. I like Women a lot, and I always try to take them to interesting places, stuff the last guy didn't do, not just dinner and a movie. But the Science Center, or Glow in the Dark Miniature Golf, if she's up to it maybe ziplining, something like that. But usually there's is dinner involved.

    Sometimes it's Dinner and a movie, but only when it's one either I or She really wants to see. I held my nose and took one girl to see The Notebook because she was chomping at the bit to see it. So i took her. I was prepared for absolute Hell, but it was better than i thought it would be. But never Deuce Bigalow Male Giggalo or ANY of it's ilk. She wants to see that crap she gonna have to go with her Girlfriends. That crap is fucking HELL.

    But i WILL walk her to her door.
    One of my favorite casual outings with an ex was to a local aquarium.

    Back on topic, as people mature/age, getting sex early on just loses its appeal.

    Our culture of focusing on instant gratification spoils a lot of friendships and LTRs that could blossom into something better.

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    OOH, we have a new Aquarium here in STL. New date location. Thanks for reminding me, Snuffle!

    Good place to take a Girl.
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    Quote Originally Posted by AChildOfBoredom View Post
    I can rarely even keep any interest halfway through the first date. And so they end up being the only dates. Maybe the woman who told me I’m inhuman was right.
    Find someone who will take you to the range!

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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Quote Originally Posted by pegasus027 View Post
    hÃng tốt giá rẻ có dịch vụ giao hÃng thu tiá»n táºn nÆ¡i đảm bảo cho khách hÃng. phụ bạn má»™t tay chúc bạn ngÃy phát triển
    Quote Originally Posted by Raziel View Post
    You realize your speaking in an Alien Language, right? You keep posting this gibberish all over the site, nobody can understand you.
    As everyone can clearly see, pegasus027 makes a great point here. So nuanced and profound and a great understanding of the subject. Thank you pegasus027 for your sage like insight.
    Last edited by Elektra Luxx; 08-24-2020 at 05:28 PM. Reason: Addon

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    Quote Originally Posted by slowpoke View Post
    Without ketchup.
    When I worked for Rea, I had this one coworker… I don’t remember which country exactly, but he was from somewhere in Africa. Where Toto blessed the rains. Very skilled equipment operator. But there are two things about him which everyone remembers. The first was that he was really easy to get riled up, and people had fun agitating him. The other is that, in spite of how much he just LOVED to use it, he never really mastered the word “bullshit”, so it always came out “BOOshit”, and he never really got the hang of putting it into noun or verb form, so you’d hear, “ah, you a BOOshit” or “why he always BOOshit me”, etc. And he was quick to play the role of the accuser, so you’d frequently see him with a stern look on his face talking to someone and he’d say, “[name of person]… why you BOOshit me?”.

    At this point you’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this or how it’s relevant. Well, in the end, I have to ask the question… slowpoke, why you BOOshit me?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elektra Luxx View Post
    As everyone can clearly see, pegasus027 makes a great point here. So nuanced and profound and a great understanding of the subject. Thank you pegasus027 for your sage like insight.
    Nothing compares to the scintillating conversation found on these pages!

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  39. #125
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    Default Re: How many dates till you sleep together?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elektra Luxx View Post
    As everyone can clearly see, pegasus027 makes a great point here. So nuanced and profound and a great understanding of the subject. Thank you pegasus027 for your sage like insight.
    Yeah, if you can read that shit i'll give you a Chocolate Frog. It looks like nothing to me!

    Just kidding. But you can have the Chocolate Frog, anyway.
    Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

  40. The Following User Says Thank You to Raziel For This Useful Post:


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