Yes this is a "My boyfriend won't let me dance" post...
I'm in an awkward position and was hoping to hear what you guys would do because I have no clue.
<rant>
I lost my vanilla job 3 months ago, and I used to make a lot of money stripping before I met my boyfriend.
Long story short I ended up quitting a dirty club and didn't want to go back for a while because it left a bad taste in my mouth. I went through a lot of drama, lost my house, and pretty much my entire life but my boyfriend helped me pick up the pieces. I moved in with him (TO HIS PARENTS HOUSE) and I love him, and it's been alright here for the past year and a half since I left the club but I miss being a dancer... I've broke as a freaking joke and he pays my necessary bills but I feel completely dependent on him. I've talked to him about going back to dancing, and he doesn't think he can handle it emotionally. He said he'd try and understand if I absolutely had to go back, but he most likely wouldn't be able to stay with me if I did. Is he being selfish? ...Or am I the one being selfish throwing away our relationship for money?
I feel like it's bullshit I can't have both. I was a stripper when he met me, and mentally I never left. I don't think he understands that this is something I actually enjoy doing.
I don't know if I'm having a case of the grass is greener or what, but shit... I could be living a much better life. I can't live with his parents anymore they drive me nuts, we have a tiny ass room we stay in and I feel like I'm trapped here. I used to have a whole house to myself before this! Big difference.
Honestly, I am extremely conflicted right now. I feel guilty for wanting to leave him for this... But I can't stop thinking about it. He's a sweet guy, but I don't know if I can stay now... I need some independence. (Not to mention I feel like I am missing out on so much money!)
</rant>
Anyone have an idea on this?
Thanks for reading!



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