Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

  1. #1
    Member Wintre's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 10 Times in 7 Posts

    Dizzy Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    It's been ages since I posted on here but I am very distraught about a situation at my new club in San Francisco. I recently just moved here from Portland where I was at my club for a long time and it felt like family.

    As I was paying house at the end of the night the manager informed me that there's been a "situation" with me at the bar and I didn't know what he was talking about. He told me that it was brought to his attention that I've taken tips from the bar staff off the bar and that its been on multiple occasions now. I immediately confronted the bar staff who were very specific and grounded in their accusations. They said on one occasion a customer walked away with like $15 on the bar and that I supposedly took it all and left them a single dollar. They claimed I had done things like this on two sundays in row.

    I am not in trouble per se, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable working in an environment where I am so untrusted. What I believe happened was that on instances where customers have tipped me for my company at the bar I usually feel weird putting the money in my purse immediately, probably for the same reason the bar staff lets the money hang out in the bar for a while. I am guessing they thought this money was for them. I asked them to confront me about this in front of the customer if they think it is happening again.

    What bothers me the most about this is that they were completely unwilling to accept that it could be a misunderstanding. It is especially hurtful because not only do I very well everywhere I go, not to mention I've tipped them as well, but because I feel like we're supposed to be on the same team. Not to mention I've aligned myself closely with workers rights activists in my private life.

    While I am not in trouble, as the manager assumes it was a misunderstanding, I feel really weird about going back into work today. As if being the new girl isn't hard enough I've now been labeled as a thief by the people I thought were on my side. Any advice as to how to remedy the situation would be much appreciated as I am very unused to working in an environment where I am so distrusted.

  2. #2
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    but ended up leaving frustrated and never went back to the club because i had no way of proving i didnt steal their money and they were going to believe the customer who tipped them generously over the girl they barely knew.
    Indeed, 'credibility' is a growing problem for all dancers ... with club management, with fellow dancers, with the IRS etc. I'm not sure there is an effective answer. For example, reviewing club security tapes as you suggest might arguably 'clear' you of the allegations of 'stealing' bar tips, but at the same time this would prove bar staff was lying ( which in the eyes of club management might trade a 'small' problem for a 'bigger' problem ).

  3. #3
    Member Wintre's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 10 Times in 7 Posts

    Dizzy Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    Thanks for the responses.

    I don't think anyone is going to check the cameras because the situation doesn't seem to be that big. The management and house mom believe me. It's not about being in trouble so much as not wanting to have tension with the people I work with. At work tonight the bartender wouldn't make eye contact with me and I had to ask a customer to order my drink for me so I informed the house mom this was going on. At the bar a customer bought his friend a dance and I had to make a point to make sure that money never touched the bar for a second. I think its safe to say I won't be buying my own drinks from the club ever again. I think its kind of ridiculous that the bartender would think someone left her such a large tip. She's a very slow bartender and I think she doesn't do a good job at staying on top of her surroundings. Unfortunately this club is structured so that most of the hustling happens at the bar. I have a feeling that the whole thing will blow over and hopefully I don't have to work with this person for very long.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Wintre For This Useful Post:


  5. #4
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    27,134
    Thanks
    55,898
    Thanked 26,028 Times in 13,271 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    Yea. Good luck..sounds like you're dealing w/a real a-hole & you are doing the right thing as best you can under the circumstances..she won't make eye contact w/you cause she knows she's a damn liar, really so does everyone else, it just can't be proved..
    As far as her thinking it was her $ (it's so not) that's her f'd up hustle & is already working against her.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to whirlerz For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    1,445
    Thanks
    649
    Thanked 3,393 Times in 970 Posts

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    How I avoid this situation is that I have the customer put the tip directly on my person (garter, g-string, cleavage etc.) or jsut put your money away right away. I never leave money out for more than a moment, because that is a good way for the customer to either change his mind and take his tip back or for someone else to swipe it if you aren't paying close attention.

    Just stash your money from now on. Lesson learned.

    Also, Portland is kind of unique when it comes to your club family. You aren't there to make friends. I can guarantee you that the bar staff wouldn't even know your name if this misunderstanding didn't occur. Just focus on the customers, and you should be fine to return.

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Tourdefranzia For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    God/dess simone87's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    5,171
    Thanks
    7,361
    Thanked 9,469 Times in 3,228 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    i wouldn't say that you are "on the same team" with bar staff in my experience..in this industry, yes people can work together but its about money and it being monetarily beneficial to them more than comradery and being buddy buddy.

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to simone87 For This Useful Post:


  11. #7
    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    4,942
    Thanks
    20,254
    Thanked 7,454 Times in 2,760 Posts

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    Fuck her, she's just mad she thought she got a big tip for being a shitty bartender and when you took it, had a hissy fit. Literally, do not kiss her ass.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to arielbriel For This Useful Post:


  13. #8
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,430
    Thanks
    2,070
    Thanked 1,896 Times in 746 Posts

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    Something similar happened to me when I worked in a small club. My advice is never to bring it up. If someone else does, give them a very brief defense. Otherwise, let them forget (they will).

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lol1337a For This Useful Post:


  15. #9
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    980
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 1,287 Times in 510 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    im not surprised they did this, it certainly would appear that you stole their tip if that money was lying on the bar for the duration of your conversation with the customer and you took it after he left. always take money directly. especially because the faster you take money, the more they will spend.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to charlotte. For This Useful Post:


  17. #10
    God/dess audrey_k's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2009
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,542
    Thanks
    1,043
    Thanked 3,893 Times in 1,568 Posts

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    I had a similar situation when I first started dancing-- one of the girls left her purse in the DR or bathroom or something I can't remember, and when she came back all her money was gone. About ten minutes before that happened another girl dropped her key on the ground, which looked EXACTLY like my key as we both drove VWs, and one of my friends spotted it and told me I had dropped my key so I pocketed it.

    Once the girl started freaking out about her money being gone everyone was looking through their stuff and the girl who's key it was realized her key was gone and started flipping out. I told her I had seen the key on the ground and picked it up and asked her if it was hers, of course after that everyone said that I had stolen the money since I had stolen the key, even though my friend backed me up.

    My manager was a total fucking dick about it and the girls were weird to me for a couple days, but my manager ended up apologizing to me and the girl who's money was stolen remembered I was with her when she left her purse so that was fine-- the girl who's key it was still fucking hates me and thinks I stole it 5 years later, but she's a **** and I could care less what she thinks.

    I would just let it blow over, there's really nothing you can do. Making a big deal out of it will only make you look more guilty.

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to audrey_k For This Useful Post:


  19. #11
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Down Under
    Posts
    2,078
    Thanks
    4,898
    Thanked 2,463 Times in 1,135 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheeky

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    Something similar happened to me a while ago-a customer stopped at the bar to get a drink on the way to the lp area. He did so, then said "that's for you" (to me, and gestured at his change of $50. He gave it to me and we did the dance). Not long after, management approached me and informed me that a bar girl was very angry that I had taken her tip and demanded it back. Of course, I let them know that if I did give her the "tip" back I would have given the customer a free dance...they still insisted I return the "tip" .
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to OliveJardin For This Useful Post:


  21. #12
    Member Wintre's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 10 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Barstaff thinks I'm a thief - advice???

    I hope you didn't have to give the tip back!

  22. The Following User Says Thank You to Wintre For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. Thief!!!!
    By MzStar in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 07-12-2011, 09:59 PM
  2. cam thief!
    By MsJess in forum Other Work
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-20-2011, 09:23 PM
  3. Drama with bouncer/thief - advice?
    By MSNYC in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-23-2009, 04:32 PM
  4. They caught the thief
    By High_Heel_Lover in forum Picture Post
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-07-2007, 06:51 PM
  5. Thief in my club
    By ace98 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 49
    Last Post: 05-21-2004, 12:13 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •