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Thread: New study says women don't like nice guys.

  1. #26
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    People will usually tell you who they are if you just listen.
    Yes! That's a classic.

    I was starting to wish I had just stayed out of this thread lol. That right there makes me glad I didn't.

    No offense to the OP, you were just telling us about yet another seemingly useless study telling us what we already knew. And the suckup guys do get old, I am sure.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl
    It's like if someone constantly said, "I don't steal twinkies from the gas station and shove them in my anus!" Eventually you would start to think that guy did indeed have a nasty habit of stuffing pilfered twinkies in his asshole.
    I am still laughing at this, even as I paused to read everything else below it. OMG, so perfect. Anyone who can even think this line up, is someone I need to be friends with. You rock.

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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    If you have to tell people, you're doing it wrong.
    YES. I've always had this saying. "The people who have to tell you 'what kind of person they are' are not that kind of person."

    Because, if they were....... everyone would just know. They wouldn't feel the need to explain it...
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Curious Guest lilredridinghood's Avatar
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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    As long as a guy respects me and my choices and he stands up for himself and others he cares about I consider him 'nice.' I wouldn't be attracted to anyone that can't deliver these, even as a friend. And I can't stand assholes! Idiots that they are...

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  7. #30
    Senior Member JadeNicole's Avatar
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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    If they have money and are successful I like them bad, if not you better have something else going for you!

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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    I think when many women call a man a 'nice guy', they're just thinking about how much they can use him before he realizes it and then is forced to ditch them.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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  10. #32
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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    My boyfriend's a nice guy. Granted, I've dated enough assholes to never wanna date someone who isn't a nice guy again. He's also someone I find ridiculously attractive, so that might be part of it.

    I recently had to cut off my 'nice guy' friend and co-worker. We worked together in a research lab in college this year and he has a thing for me. He was actually sending me drunken flirty texts from one end of the bar while I was on a date with my current boyfriend at the other end. I told him, exactly, 'look, I'm flattered, but I'm not available. I'm seeing this guy sitting next to me and really only interested in him. Sorry.' He apologized and we went back to a normal, no-flirting working relationship. I introduced him to my boyfriend, they became friends, and life was good. This was a few months back. Flash forward to last week and we'd spent a couple of days/evenings doing fun stuff together or with groups and he started getting flirty again. He asked for a movie night and I said no. He wanted to go on a picnic and I said no. Etc., etc., etc. We went out with a group of people (including my boy's good friends) to the lake one evening and he actually goes 'can I kiss you?' in front of them. I gave him a resounding 'no, not ever' and he got super pissed and won't talk to me anymore.

    Like, bro, I won't let you buy me drinks, take me to dinner, or do date-ish things. You know I'm taken. You know I'm not interested. Yeah, you're nice, but I'm not attracted to you. The killer is that he apparently told our other co-workers in the lab that he'd 'win me over eventually,' further proving that he wasn't a nice guy so much as one with ulterior motives. I HATE guys who hide behind the 'nice guy' title and think girls are fucking them over when they clearly set boundaries. I regret not cutting him off sooner (since I realize now that only encouraged him), but it still frustrated me.

    Doing nice things doesn't make you a nice guy and it won't 'earn' you a date. Women taking advantage of men who are exhibiting 'nice' behaviors still don't owe you anything, as a side note. Leading a guy on is a bitch move, but being 'nice enough,' male or female, doesn't earn you the right to things.


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  12. #33
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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    That is true. Why do so many guys think buying things, and doing nice things mean you will eventually win over the woman? you may but probably won't. I had a few "nice guy" male friends who thought being nice would win me over. It didn't then they got angry.

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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    That is true. Why do so many guys think buying things, and doing nice things mean you will eventually win over the woman? you may but probably won't. I had a few "nice guy" male friends who thought being nice would win me over. It didn't then they got angry.
    Look up about 30 romantic comedies and similar movies. That is where they get it from. The plot of the guy who wins his way into the arms of a girl he is obsessed with by being a goofball and doing sappy shit is decades old. The really funny part is these are feel good movies for women, most guys would rather watch paint dry but somehow it seeps into our conscious anyway.

    I shouldn't even say this. Best relationship I've had to date I only did nice things for my girl as a reward for her doing something I liked/wanted. It worked fabulously until she moved for work. No, I wasn't a jerk the rest of the time either. Take whatever from that you will. My take is that at least some women are happier chasing than being chased; completely bassackwards from how society tells us it's done.

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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    Quote Originally Posted by invibe View Post
    Look up about 30 romantic comedies and similar movies. That is where they get it from. The plot of the guy who wins his way into the arms of a girl he is obsessed with by being a goofball and doing sappy shit is decades old. The really funny part is these are feel good movies for women, most guys would rather watch paint dry but somehow it seeps into our conscious anyway.

    I shouldn't even say this. Best relationship I've had to date I only did nice things for my girl as a reward for her doing something I liked/wanted. It worked fabulously until she moved for work. No, I wasn't a jerk the rest of the time either. Take whatever from that you will. My take is that at least some women are happier chasing than being chased; completely bassackwards from how society tells us it's done.
    I think those movies really do society a disservice. They think life is like them and it's not. We always hear about being chased but in many cases this doesn't help and often hurts. If I don't like a guy and he chases me it makes me like him less. I don't like guys being me things for no reason unless I am in a relationship is because it almost is because he thinks he has a chance. When I tell him no he gets mad and throws it in my face.

  15. #36
    Veteran Member The Six's Avatar
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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    Some people are clueless and just don't get it. They think they can "win over" the girl because she's just playing hard to get. Plus there's the idea that women want men to pay for them (see the "paying on a first date" thread) which some guys think extends into everything.

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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    That is true Six. I had SO MANY (emphasis) men think I was playing hard to get because I would tell men I didn't want to date them. In some cases the timing was off, but in most cases it would never happen and I was honest. Did they listen? nope.

  17. #38
    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    playing hard to get is just not making yourself completely available to their every whim and letting them know you have a life and aren't desperate, but if you are telling them straight out you don't want to date them and they are still pursuing you..that's like harassment!! scary

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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    It really is and that is what I've encountered by this. I think women who make themselves available all the times to men are stupid because men will take them for granted but this is different. I'd tell these men no yet they didn't get it.

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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    They aren't being nice if they expect something in return...

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    Default Re: New study says women don't like nice guys.

    I remember this: "your lips say "no, no" but your eyes say, "yes, yes".
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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