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Thread: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

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    Default one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    what to do to make my Private shows more comfortable?

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    Well, what about them makes you uncomfortable? Is it simply being alone with someone? If so, I would tip the bouncer(s) to keep an eye on you more than usual so that you know someone isn't too far off should something happen. If you don't trust your security staff though, I would hightail it to a different club because working somewhere you don't feel safe is a recipe for disaster.

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    Featured Member Aurora14's Avatar
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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    Try running doubles with someone you like. Makes it easier to deal with handsy or rude customers. They think it's some kind of hot, kinky game when each girl is holding his hands against a wall. Plus you can focus more on the other girl instead of the customer.

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    Handsy/rude customers isn't the problem. I just hate that i have to look like im turned on and enjoying myself, when i feel the opposite. I just put on fake smile and count the minutes in my head :/ I always turn the volume up so it wouldn't be so awkward but then the song stops and there is few seconds before another starts and it's killing me! Maybe it's because the silence; customers usually doesn't speak a lot, just stare at me and then i start feeling self- conscious like "does he like what he sees" "is he bored".... I've noticed that often I think they are bored? And then i start to do more; like touching my pussy even if that wouldn't be neccessary. I feel like maybe I try too much? I also feel kind of humiliated when i take my thongs off, but i just keep smiling and it almost hurts lol. I don't know maybe it just isn't good job for me

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    If after a year, if you are feeling humiliated by simply taking your panties off, I'd say that this job is not for you. Has the job effected your sex life with boyfriends/girlfriends?

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    i haven't been really dating since when i started stripping, my boyfriend broke up with me when after I told him what I do.. and one night stands are not my thing.

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    Quote Originally Posted by sequin View Post
    1. I just hate that i have to look like im turned on and enjoying myself, when i feel the opposite.
    2. I just put on fake smile and count the minutes in my head :/
    3. I always turn the volume up so it wouldn't be so awkward but then the song stops and there is few seconds before another starts and it's killing me!
    4. Maybe it's because the silence; customers usually doesn't speak a lot, just stare at me and
    5. I start feeling self- conscious like "does he like what he sees" "is he bored".... I've noticed that often I think they are bored?
    6. And then i start to do more; like touching my pussy...
    7. I feel like maybe I try too much?
    8. I also feel kind of humiliated when i take my thongs off, but i just keep smiling and it almost hurts lol.
    9. I don't know maybe it just isn't good job for me
    1. You don't HAVE to look turned on. It's not necessarily supposed to be some soft-core porn act. You can talk, joke, flirt, ask guys about what they do for fun... find common ground, discuss art... laugh... drink... etc.

    2. Fake/forced smiles and not being mentally present (a.k.a. counting the minutes), that's all blatantly obvious. Figure out some way to make your time less torturous. Try out new moves... guys love it if you say "hey, I've been working on this move for a while but I'm shy, can I show you and you tell me if you like it...". Ask for a back rub or a foot rub. Compliment the guy, say something cute or sexy. Ask them what they like about you, what do they think is your sexiest body part... use that discussion to (A) elevate your self-esteem and (B) to emphasize that body part as a supporting feature star of your performance. Then ask them what their second favorite aspect of you is.

    3. & 4. DO NOT turn the music up all the way! How are you supposed to chat, joke, or flirt if everything is full volume all of the time?

    5. Stop worrying. You're projecting a very insecure vibe. It's uncomfortable for everyone. Believe you're the hottest thing since lava, and if someone doesn't get it, they're stupid. You're a goddess... get on with it.

    6. 'The self-conscious, darting eyes followed by random pussy-touching' scenario sounds sort of hilarious to me. Sorry. Hehehe. But you do need to calm down and be more natural. Pussy touching isn't the only interesting thing about you. Don't be a one trick pony.

    7. You aren't trying too much! You aren't trying ENOUGH! You're counting the seconds in your head. You're blasting music, remaining silent, and dancing on a PERSON as if they're an inanimate object. Your approach is all off. You don't have to be attracted to someone but you do have to find some common ground and make a connection.

    8. Why are you humiliated sans-panties? You can save the full nude thing for the last few minutes and room and dance with your legs closed in a teasing sort of fashion. You don't need to give the dude a gynecological view of your lady bits. And yeah I get it, fake smiling for a lengthy amount of time will hurt.

    9. I agree that this might not be the best job for you... but I am almost certain that you'll keep doing it. Even though you don't put in much effort, you still get rooms, and even the bored guys pay you. I'm sorry you feel that it's such a chore. I'm sorry you find it boring. But building rapport is a two way street. Dancing robotically, self-consciously, uncomfortably isn't going to be fun... as I've said before, for anyone. Make a connection of some sort... it will slay time... bring the fun... you are an ENTERTAINER for goodness' sake! Bring the fun. Make it fun. Not every room will be fun, and even the best of us have rooms that are tremendous drags. Think on your feet and do your best to make the time at least somewhat pleasant.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    if you feel humiliated with taking your thong off..stripping is NOT FOR YOU. not until you can work through these issues..with this state of mine, stripping right now could be detrimental to your mental health ( plus, i don't see how you are going to make much money when its torture to smile and pretend you enjoy customer's company..that's a huge part of the job)

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    Thank you so much, Sophia_Starina. What about that talking in Private; i think customers would find it annoying? I think customers just want me to shut up and dance, right? And what if I start to talk more while dancing and they are bothered By that but don't want to say it to my face? :/

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    Quote Originally Posted by sequin View Post
    Thank you so much, Sophia_Starina. What about that talking in Private; i think customers would find it annoying? I think customers just want me to shut up and dance, right? And what if I start to talk more while dancing and they are bothered By that but don't want to say it to my face? :/
    Nope, they want to interact with a chick out of their league. The personal connection makes the stripping/sexy stuff so much richer for them.

    Don't assume.




    You want to be comfortable, you want things to go smoothly, you want to take a break from dancing for a few minutes, you want to be memorable, you want to acknowledge them too... it's not all about us strippers... customers are people too.

    Some guys aren't interested in chatting... but many are.... and I have met very interesting people at the club... people that are cool and funny... and yeah, even pretty awesome.

    (Side Note) Some guys DO like icy chicks... you might actually have a niche/special thing going on where guys see you as a challenge. Play it by ear. Work it to your advantage.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    Sophia's advice is awesome. Even though I've danced for 5 years I've only been n a club that sells champagne rooms about a year and a half. At first I felt a little awkward being completely alone with a guy for extended periods of time. Personally, no more than half my time is spent dancing. Mostly conversation. Also if you're the type to get fidgety when you're uncomfortable get a drink (doesn't need to be alcohol). If there's an awkward lull in conversation I'll grab my drink and do a cutesy cheers to boobies comment or something similar or just simPly thank him for it again, buys you some time.
    Also to echo what the other girls said, if youre uncomfortable showing coochie this may not be the job for you. Or maybe try topless clubs. Keep in mind you don't have to display it in his face the entire time.
    Last edited by Legz541; 08-01-2014 at 01:32 PM.

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    Quote Originally Posted by sequin View Post
    Thank you so much, Sophia_Starina. What about that talking in Private; i think customers would find it annoying? I think customers just want me to shut up and dance, right? And what if I start to talk more while dancing and they are bothered By that but don't want to say it to my face? :/
    I find that many of the customers who buy VIP/CR/privates do it because they like your personality and want to actually spend time with you; if they just wanted dances, that's usually all they pay for. You don't have to spend the entire time yapping their ear off, but silently dancing the entire time is a strange way to spend VIP. Start with some chit chat while lightly touching them, slowly take off your top while doing a bit of dancing, sit in their lap while you chat some more, slowly finish undressing while dancing a bit more, take breaks for drinks, etc., etc. You are far more likely to extend VIP this way than by basically ignoring them and dancing on them! Besides, if a customer is really only looking for dances, they will not be shy about saying so.

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    OP I am sure there are threads in Hustle Hut abt ideas of things to do in VIP apart from just dances. However long that block of time is -- 10min, 30min, 60min or sm where in between -- trying to dance for the entire time will be exhausting for you & get boring for him so you need to fill that time sm how. Customerd aren't there for a robotic, silent dancer w/ a plastered-on smile, they are spending VIP $$$ for interaction, not just goodies-shaking.

    Just for ideas, I joke w/ them, offer backrubs(sm times extend to arms & legs if he is willing, all clothes stay on & it is a great time-filler) & I had one customer that would come in just to play chess w/ me. Ask what they are into (sports, games like chess, other hobbies & interests). I would often find a way to bring up George Carlin, talking abt comedians keeps it light & the conversation can branch off in so many possible directions, since comedy covers all facets of life.

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    You need to talk to them. Figure out what they like to do for fun and find something in common with them and build upon that. I'll ask about how they lost their virginity, what's their favorite sex position, etc. Fun interactive questions like that can make the time fly by and drink with them! Make toasts, ask lots of questions.

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    I've been doing more small talk with custies in Private and it helps me to relax. btw, do you ask tips at the beginning or at the end of Private? I usually ask at the end, but I've noticed they don't really give a lot.. like 5 or they just say "ummm no this time"... Blaaah. But I think it's weird and rude to ask for tips before they've even seen anything..?

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    Default Re: one year of dancing- still feeling uneasy in private?

    Quote Originally Posted by sequin View Post
    I've been doing more small talk with custies in Private and it helps me to relax. btw, do you ask tips at the beginning or at the end of Private? I usually ask at the end, but I've noticed they don't really give a lot.. like 5 or they just say "ummm no this time"... Blaaah. But I think it's weird and rude to ask for tips before they've even seen anything..?
    I would nvr ask for tips at the beginning. I think that is hugely putting the cart b4 the horse. Again, HH should be your go-to for this kind of thing. Gitcher ass over there & start reading, make it your Bible lots of creative ways to plant the tips seed or outright ask for them.

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