Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: How to Not Get Recognized

  1. #1
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Question How to Not Get Recognized

    Hi everyone,

    So a little background: I have a four-year-old, just graduated from nursing school, am going through a divorce and haven't taken my nursing boards yet. I'm in a lot of debt due to my divorce and schooling. I want to dance for a while to pay off my debt and replenish my savings, while studying for my nursing boards and maybe for a while while I'm nursing.

    My issue is this. Obviously I don't want people where I'm nursing to recognize me from a club. I basically need to live a double life here. I have a serious boyfriend who I'm living with (my soon-to-be ex-husband and I were separated for over a year and had started the divorce process months before I started dating him). I told him I needed to dance briefly and he was NOT supportive. I hate being deceitful, but I basically need for no one to know. I need money for my child and to pay off my debt. So, to me, this is about my kid and I won't be doing it for a long time, so it's excusable in my mind to keep it to myself.

    Is there a way to dance in your own city and keep it a secret from everyone? Is there a way to disguise yourself enough? My boyfriend's friends go to clubs somewhat often, or used to. I also don't want future employers or patients to recognize me later. I'm in a city near my neighboring state. Should I just drive a couple hours and dance there?

    Any advice is extremely appreciated!

  2. #2
    Senior Member SexedUpCat's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Over the Rainbow
    Posts
    99
    Thanks
    156
    Thanked 238 Times in 80 Posts

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    To be honest, if they're frequent visitors especially, it's going to be tough to keep your identity hidden. These are the best things I could think of to help though:

    -makeup techniques that dramatically change the look of your face and its bone structure
    -wigs (be careful for falling off) or removable extensions or something
    -learn an accent (really make it believable, so choose one you can pick up quickly, maintain, and makes sense with your physical appearance/back story...also only do if you think you could maintain it for long periods of time)
    -go to clubs further from home rather than the closest to you

    That's all I can think of right now. Good luck!

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SexedUpCat For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    God/dess shasta's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    2,175
    Thanks
    778
    Thanked 658 Times in 317 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    I feel like I look so different at work- but people still recognize me right away. Feeling uncomfortable about people I know there ruins my night and I have to stay hidden in the dressing room (if I can even walk over there without being seen) and I don't make any money.

  5. #4
    Senior Member LaPatrona's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    160
    Thanks
    49
    Thanked 117 Times in 56 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    How big is your city, what's the approx population? How much would it cost you to drive up to another city? Have you ever dance before? If yes, did you made enough to travel three hours away, and still have good enough income left? Do you have to pay tolls to get there?

    Also, another thing to consider if you want to stay in your city is what kind of clubs they go to and their income rack. If they tend to go to dives and not make much, then it's safer to work in upscale. If it's the other way around is safer to work in dives. But this might affect your income, because some girls do better in dives than in upscales and vice-versa.

  6. #5
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    1,529
    Thanks
    2,260
    Thanked 2,276 Times in 730 Posts

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    I'm sorry if this isn't helpful but…. I think you have bigger problems that need resolving besides hiding your dancing. Namely your boyfriend situation. If he's not gonna cough up some cash he ought to be supportive and if you plan to build a new life with this man (especially considering your child) you ought to be honest.

  7. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to lokikola For This Useful Post:


  8. #6
    Banned Aniela's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    KW
    Posts
    3,291
    Thanks
    6,920
    Thanked 5,854 Times in 2,242 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    Agree w/ lokikola here. If you can't be honest w/ him & he can't be non-judgmental w/ you, then this is probably not a good time for you to be in a relationship w/ him. He is out of line to 'tell' you how you can & can't make your living, esp if he is doing nothing to help you. There are A LOT of 'bf/partner/whoever won't let me dance' threads on here, but I can't think of a single one where the relationship continued healthily while a girl was hiding dancing from the SO, if it continued at all.

  9. #7
    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    1,445
    Thanks
    649
    Thanked 3,393 Times in 970 Posts

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    I don't think you are going to be able to hide it from a live-in boyfriend, with the possible exception that he travels a lot for work. You might be able to do escorting or webcam w/o him knowing since the scheduling is much more flexible. Being a dancer will require you to be gone for long periods of time several days a week. That's going to be tough to explain where you are all night 2-3 nights a week.

  10. #8
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    I appreciate all of your thoughts and advice

    As far as being able to explain where I am several nights a week: people in my industry usually work 12 hour shifts three nights a week. With in-home health, you can be there even longer sometimes. I'm not concerned about being able to say where I am and coming up with a cover job.

    I'm not sure if my relationship will work out with me keeping this a secret, but to be honest, it's the least of my worries. While I'd like to avoid the discussion/argument about it by just keeping it a secret, dancing for several months, then stopping without him knowing I ever did it, if he were to find out it wouldn't be the end of the world. I'm more concerned about a.) being financially stable for my child as quickly as possible, b.) paying off my debt quickly, c.) not damaging my opportunities in my future career as a nurse, seeing as I spent a lot of money and many years going through school to finally earn a bachelor's degree.

    Is it in my best interest to keep my location a secret or can I just go ahead and divulge? May be easier, LaPatrona.

  11. #9
    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2011
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    1,511
    Thanks
    2,450
    Thanked 2,081 Times in 874 Posts
    My Mood
    Pensive

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    Quote Originally Posted by JocelynLove View Post
    Is there a way to dance in your own city and keep it a secret from everyone? Is there a way to disguise yourself enough? My boyfriend's friends go to clubs somewhat often, or used to. I also don't want future employers or patients to recognize me later. I'm in a city near my neighboring state. Should I just drive a couple hours and dance there?
    I'm in a similar boat. I used to dance ten minutes away from my home and would slather my face in makeup to look less recognizable. If you're willing to invest in makeup and a lace front wig these youtube tutorials may help you:
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_G...ctSISDkeWlKhXQ

    Now I have a day job in a small city and cannot dance there so I travel to another state to dance. Even if I wanted to, the earnings potential in my area are that bad and it's more profitable for me to drive to another area to work. My suggestion is to research the areas where you want to work in the club chat section and club review section as well as searching on the site.

    Since you're also a nurse, unless you live in a large city, I highly suggest you work outside of your city if possible. If someone from your future job found out they could report you to your state boards and you could get fined or cited with unprofessional conduct since healthcare workers have to be 'morally fit' to work in their field. Otherwise I know a few nurses that also work as strippers.

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Starling For This Useful Post:


  13. #10
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    ^^^ also, if you're going to be applying for a state professional RN license, and applying for RN jobs in hospitals, it would be extremely wise to avoid working for clubs which issue 1099 tax documents ( which will officially link your real name and SS# with the 'adult' business paying you ), to avoid working for clubs which operate websites ( where an online promo pic could be matched to you via facial recognition search ) etc.

    In my own case, after graduating from college, I got by my initial state professional RT license background check just fine, and had no problem being hired for RT jobs at major hospitals. However, during a fresh state professional licensing board background check performed when it came time to renew my RT license, my 'adult' industry work history was turned up thanks to the existence of 1099's linking me to 'adult' businesses. This got me a citation for 'unprofessional conduct', a BIG fine to avoid my RT license being revoked, and a cover letter in my official RT licensing file informing every prospective future hospital employer of my 'adult' industry work history.

  14. #11
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    Melonie: I read a thread about what happened and came out of that really confused. I can't find the thread anymore, unfortunately. Some people were saying it only shows up in your tax documents with a name if the club was in legal trouble or something? It seems like I'll have a hard time finding any legitimate clubs who won't want me to fill out tax documents. Also, many require dancing licenses, which I literally am just hearing about. Someone in another thread said you're traceable in future careers if you have one.

  15. #12
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    ^^^ for 'in depth' background checks, applicants are now often required to complete an IRS 4506-T permission form ... which in turn allows the state professional licensing agency's or prospective employer's background check service to access the applicant's IRS records. It's then a simple matter of cross-referencing 'payee employer #'s' shown on the 1099 forms to find out what the payee company actually is. But checking 1099 paper trails is now almost considered to be 'old technology'. What's now starting to appear as part of 'in depth' background checks is the use of facial recognition searches to match up a shapshot of the applicant's face with images posted on the internet.

    This is a major potential problem for camgirls, who may have clips posted on webcam host intro pages, on tube sites, on customer upload sites, etc. But it is also a growing problem for dancers ... i.e. a bachelor party shapshot being posted to an upload / social media site by one of the bachelor party customers ... i.e. pics shot in clubs using 'smart glasses', watch cams, pen cams etc. by club customers ...i.e. pics posted to strip club website pages, etc. See

    Obviously, having an 'adult' work history that precedes obtaining a professional license won't affect the applicant's ability to obtain a professional license ... since 'adult' work is legal. However, having the same discovery made AFTER being issued a professional license will be considered 'unprofessional conduct' ... which can lead to fines and/or community service time. However, where 'sensitive' employers are concerned, having an 'adult' work history that precedes obtaining a professional license may still matter a lot !!!
    Last edited by Melonie; 08-07-2014 at 08:27 AM. Reason: ry

  16. #13
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    I had been coforting mysef with Laurissa's words in her posts and , but what it basically boils down to is some saying you can never be found out, and others saying that I could be jeopardizing thousands of dollars and many years spent on gaining an education in order to be a nurse. I may lose that, and one can nurse into old age, while one can't strip for long. So I basically should not to this if I don't want to risk my career?

  17. #14
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: How to Not Get Recognized

    ^^^ all that can really be said is that if a work history of 'stripping' is discovered that happened prior to applying for your professional RN license, certain 'sensitive' employers might hold that work history against you but the state professional licensing agency will not. I'm thinking hospitals operated by 'religious' groups, private hospitals in upscale suburban areas, high profile gov't run hospitals etc., where 'reputation' is of paramount importance. But that still leaves a ton of other opportunities.

    However, if a work history of 'stripping' is discovered that happened AFTER you have received your professional RN license, this will almost certainly get you cited for 'unprofessional conduct'. But if you pay the fine etc. you can still retain your RN license. And there are always some opportunities for work as an RN where the employer won't care at all about your 'stripping' on the side. I'm thinking inner city clinics, oil drilling platforms, prison hospitals, 'doctors without borders' work in foreign countries, etc.

    Something to think about on the 'flip side' ... if you take a serious, professional approach to full time dancing for 10+ years, you may be able to save and invest enough money so that you never actually NEED to earn RN income once you retire from dancing !!! After being cited for 'unprofessional conduct', that's precisely what I did !!!

Similar Threads

  1. Being recognized. Need advice
    By UwishUknewhy in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-20-2011, 08:01 AM
  2. OH No! He recognized me!
    By Axiom in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-12-2009, 07:17 PM
  3. Getting Recognized
    By virgoamm in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 10-29-2006, 01:21 PM
  4. When you are recognized outside of the club...
    By xmarx52 in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 02-23-2004, 04:14 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •