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Thread: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

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    Last edited by JasmineFox; 08-20-2014 at 09:50 AM.

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    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    There are many jobs you can do on the web without camming.

    Camming is full of predators & the guys are horrible to girls. Especially if you are sensitive about sounds you make that are odd.

    Do a search, there are threads of online jobs here that aren't related to camming.

    Camming isn't for you or the answer. Nor is it big money for those who dont know how to hustle. It is a hard job that only a few do well at it.

    Good luck,
    Sam

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    God/dess kortneykay's Avatar
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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    You have to decide what is best for YOU at the end of the day. No boyfriend (he's not your husband so there's no legal attachment to him) unless he's supporting you should come in the middle of your survival. Even then I don't suggest a female living off of her boyfriend because things could end at any moment. You need to take some time to heal, work on your past, get counseling and focus on surviving. You can try and bring it up to him but if he says no (which is a BIG chance) you need to move on, put on your big girl panties, and do what you have to do.

    Like Sam mentioned, there are other jobs you can do www.ratracerebellion.com is a good free site chock full of jobs you can do from home. If you cannot find anything else and you actually want to work cam, then do it, for yourself. Good luck! Secure your finances and take care of yourself, relationships aren't going anywhere. If you feel that he's more important than you right now, get a vanilla job from home.




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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    I agree about RatRaceRebellion. There's so much great info on that site, it's a bit overwhelming! My only thing is that I've never done a resume for myself before, and the majority of the jobs I'm interested on there ask you to submit a resume. For some reason, that word scares me. Lol. So later on I'm gonna sit down and work on a resume stating my job history and whatnot.
    My referral link for models to join the Boleyn Models daily pay program
    https://cammodelpay.com/ref?page=&campaign=&affToken=NDcx

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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    I escaped husband uno through camming. I didn't have to continue once we split, but i fell in love with camming and the adult industry in general. It was rather reaffirming after hearing I wasn't good enough, too fat (I was 98lbs at the time), ignorant, and utterly worthless to finally find something I WAS good at. I have a degree now and could do many other things, but this is what I WANT to do. I will agree with Sam completely though. This isn't for the weak of heart. It takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and a serious back bone to make this work. If standing up for yourself, putting up with trolls, making yourself stick to a schedule, and pushing yourself to do better every day isn't something you can do or aren't emotionally ready to do, don't cam. If you're unsure as to whether, given your past, you're ready to cam, but honestly think the adult world is where you WANT to be, maybe start with clips. It's a good stepping stone with way fewer trolls to deal with. It has it's own challenges, but you don't have to directly deal with people face to face. talk to your boyfriend and make sure he's on board. hiding things from him won't solve anything and will just cause problems.

    As for the guilt, I wish I understood it better. I know a lot of people struggle with it in this industry. Husband 2 hated that I cammed and constantly tried to make me feel bad about what I did. It really pissed him off that I felt none or, heaven forbid, that I was actually PROUD of my work. a lot of men share this view sadly. After a few months of this, the only thing I felt even slightly guilty about was the fact that I had wasted $5k on a dress for a wedding with a disapproving dick wad and couldn't make full retail back on the dress when I sold it I don't care who you are, if you don't support my career or attempt to put me down for it, I don't need you in my life.

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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    Quote Originally Posted by JasmineFox View Post
    Hey, thanks so much for your advice! I understand things could end at any moment and with healing I am already in home bound therapy and counseling which makes it difficult to leave, as I have no where else to go but my grandparents. I am not sure if I would want to or would have the courage to end things because I have investing so much into my relationship that I don't want to give it up to go back into the abuse, which is what will happen if my relationship ends forcing me to move. Thanks for the job link and I will check it out! Thanks again!
    No problem. Here's the thing though. You just might be fucked either way. He doesn't know you've done it, yet you have so you're eventually going to have to tell him. He could break up with you, and then what? Going back with your abusive "family" (I say that lightly) is NOT an option for you. Or, you could tell him that you're going to cam and he can take it or leave it and then what? What if he leaves? You should really focus on securing your own self financially so that if it doesn't work out with your man you don't have to depend on anyone but yourself. Please, whatever you're doing secure your finances now so that you can rent an apartment and work on being independent. Who needs to live in an abusive home when you're old enough to pay your rent, bills, food and get yourself a car? I understand you've invested time and love into your relationship but depending on what your guy accepts you may find yourself on the losing end. Either way, make your money and work on a nest egg just to be on the safe side. Trust me, you'll be happy to know you did.

    This is coming from someone who was in a marriage with someone who didn't like my job, or his. So much that he got fired from his CAREER and we had no where to go. Lucky for me I was camming when the shit hit the fan and I was able to move on with my life and even replace the things he took from me like a car and furniture. Now I'm happy on my own working for myself and taking care of myself. Yeah, sometimes I fall short but I get up and dust myself off and keep going. It's not easy but now is the time to focus on you and not your relationship. If your relationship goes belly up what are you gonna do then? He could dump you for camming. You need to make sure you're good financially so you don't depend on anyone but yourself.




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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    Please keep us posted




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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    Quote Originally Posted by JasmineFox View Post
    Hello guys!! So I just got done shying up to the point of mentioning web camming and expecting a harsh reaction I prepared for the worse....well turns out he is fine with me camming, he suggested wearing a mask but said that what I do for money is what I have to do, as going back home is no longer an option in my book. Thanks so much again for taking the time to post words of encouragement and honesty! I can't speak for the past but I can say that it feels a lot better than hiding this from him and being on edge at every given moment.
    Yay, I've actually been following this thread and was about to write you something to bring up camming without telling him you have already done it yet but no need for that now. Really happy for you that it worked out

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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    Quote Originally Posted by JasmineFox View Post
    Hello guys!! So I just got done shying up to the point of mentioning web camming and expecting a harsh reaction I prepared for the worse....well turns out he is fine with me camming, he suggested wearing a mask but said that what I do for money is what I have to do, as going back home is no longer an option in my book. Thanks so much again for taking the time to post words of encouragement and honesty! I can't speak for the past but I can say that it feels a lot better than hiding this from him and being on edge at every given moment.

    Jasmine I am glad things turned out okay with talking to him about it. Good luck with future endeavors. Hopefully this is the start of better things to come.

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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    That's great your boyfriend approved! I'm happy for you. My boyfriend actually just broke up with me because of camming though. :/ Some people will never understand.

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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    I'm really glad this worked out For anyone who has the skin-crawling reaction to resumes, though, a great site is askamanager.org If you look down the right-hand side there is a list of categories so you can read the "resume" section. That site helped me get all of my vanilla jobs She also has a free guide to interviewing which totally rocks as well.

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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    As for the guilt, I wish I understood it better. I know a lot of people struggle with it in this industry. Husband 2 hated that I cammed and constantly tried to make me feel bad about what I did. It really pissed him off that I felt none or, heaven forbid, that I was actually PROUD of my work. a lot of men share this view sadly. After a few months of this, the only thing I felt even slightly guilty about was the fact that I had wasted $5k on a dress for a wedding with a disapproving dick wad and couldn't make full retail back on the dress when I sold it I don't care who you are, if you don't support my career or attempt to put me down for it, I don't need you in my life.[/QUOTE]

    Listen that is just MEN. Have plenty of girlfriends who have never done porn, stripping or camming. ALL of their men try to find a way to make them feel guilty at every chance they get so that they can get what they want.

    Men don't play fair. If they sense you have anything to feel bad or guilty about they will use it to their advantage. If you think you are over weight, then they will say stuff like "who else would want your fat ass" in order for you to be grateful that he will keep you around. If you have small tits, they will tell you aren't woman enough for them, which is why they stare at other girls boobs blatantly in front of you.

    Once I learned this, I don't feel guilty about NOTHING & I damn sure never say "I am sorry". Females apologize way to much & men see it as a weakness.

    I don't get this need to apologize for being who we want to be in life. I love my job. I love my life. Never will I apologize to a man for any of it. Trust me, men don't go to their wives or girlfriends & apologize for watching the most perverse porn on the web. Hell no, they keep there fucking mouths shut about it.



    Sam


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    Default Re: Web Camming to avoid going back into abuse, boyfriend has no clue

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam38g View Post
    As for the guilt, I wish I understood it better. I know a lot of people struggle with it in this industry. Husband 2 hated that I cammed and constantly tried to make me feel bad about what I did. It really pissed him off that I felt none or, heaven forbid, that I was actually PROUD of my work. a lot of men share this view sadly. After a few months of this, the only thing I felt even slightly guilty about was the fact that I had wasted $5k on a dress for a wedding with a disapproving dick wad and couldn't make full retail back on the dress when I sold it I don't care who you are, if you don't support my career or attempt to put me down for it, I don't need you in my life.
    Listen that is just MEN. Have plenty of girlfriends who have never done porn, stripping or camming. ALL of their men try to find a way to make them feel guilty at every chance they get so that they can get what they want.

    Men don't play fair. If they sense you have anything to feel bad or guilty about they will use it to their advantage. If you think you are over weight, then they will say stuff like "who else would want your fat ass" in order for you to be grateful that he will keep you around. If you have small tits, they will tell you aren't woman enough for them, which is why they stare at other girls boobs blatantly in front of you.

    Once I learned this, I don't feel guilty about NOTHING & I damn sure never say "I am sorry". Females apologize way to much & men see it as a weakness.

    I don't get this need to apologize for being who we want to be in life. I love my job. I love my life. Never will I apologize to a man for any of it. Trust me, men don't go to their wives or girlfriends & apologize for watching the most perverse porn on the web. Hell no, they keep there fucking mouths shut about it.



    Sam[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree. I wasn't trying to imply that it was only industry workers who struggle with this, I know it's just about everyone's struggle with the other sex. I often hear that I'm "strong willed"... I think it's more the fact that I learned early if I do what I want, I'm substantially happier than if I do what everyone else wants me to do. I mean, why would you WANT to feel guilty or expose yourself to people who are downers? I'm definitely with you on that. "i'm sorry" is overused.

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