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Thread: Just like riding a bike, right?

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    Veteran Member Laylalust's Avatar
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    Question Just like riding a bike, right?

    When I look at my join date here I have to chuckle...same month seven years ago I was contemplating becoming a stripper and came here to get as much information and knowledge as I could. I was so enthralled with the idea of doing something so subversive, especially because I was so nerdy, introverted, and shy (still am, actually). I started dancing at a little dive shortly after and the rest is history. Well, sort of. I danced for four years straight in various clubs in my state through college and graduated with a Bachelor's. After I finished school I began dancing 4-5 nights a week, since I had the great fortune of graduating right when the economy collapsed. I quickly burnt out and became incredibly depressed with the way my life was going, since I had worked so hard in school and couldn't reconcile having a degree and stripping being my "career" right out of college. I was never incredibly successful at dancing either; I had a hard time switching into my stripper persona and was too chatty about my real life to customers, often endearing me to them as a real person instead of a sex object to be paid for my company. The last six months before I quit I was mostly having $100 nights and was very bitter and not a happy stripper. I was happy to leave it all behind for a so-called "real job."

    Flash forward two years later to now. I've been working "real" jobs long enough now to know that they don't pay shit and can be/are just as unfulfilling as stripping can be. I haven't been able to evolve into being a daytime schedule person since dancing (I am my most productive and alert from about 4 pm onwards), I don't like waiting for biweekly paychecks with 25% taken out for taxes, and I feel like I LIVE at my job, being there M-F, 8-5. It's wage slavery, indentured servitude, and I feel like it's destroying my soul even worse than dancing for a couple of bucks did. At least there was some creative element to dancing; working in an office is mind-numbing.
    I've recently had some car problems that required repairs which cost way more than I could afford. I have some credit card debt. I'm still paying off the POS car. I have school bills, along with my regular monthly bills. $1,700 a month just isn't cutting it. So I've been flirting with the idea of going back to dancing. I never thought I would want to, but in the last month the idea has become IMMENSELY appealing. I spoke with my good friend who still dances and she states she makes 300-500 a night at this smaller club I worked at for three months back in the day, because it's just "the club" now in the area. If I could pull in that much just a few nights a month it would help me out enormously. I don't plan on quitting my job; I'd want to supplement my income with an extra grand and a half a month by dancing, which seems very do-able to me. As long as I can DO it.

    I am older now and have a lot more insight about dancing than I did when I first began, and even from when I quit. I can look back and see a lot of what I did wrong in dancing and feel like I can remedy it now. I did a lot of sitting around waiting for custies to come to me, a lot of chit-chatting with other girls in the DR, a lot of looking, feeling, and acting bored when I should have been all hustle. I feel like I'd be a lot more goal-driven this time around and probably a lot happier since this wouldn't be my main source of income. I know what debts I need paid off and that's what I'll have in mind when I go into the club to work. I'm not there to make friends, I'm not there to stroke men's egos for free, I'm not there to talk about myself and bemoan the state of the world and my useless degree to customers. My worry is that I will still have a hard time morphing into my stripper persona again, which is what seemed to be my issue in the past. I'm worried I will be in my head too much again, overanalyzing, overthinking, psyching myself out of talking to customers, assuming no one has money and hiding in the DR. But if I BECOME my stripper persona, hopefully these hang-ups will not be an issue.

    The TL; DR version---what do you do to get into "the stripper mindset," so to speak? Is it just like an automatic switch for you or do you have to work yourself into it? Is getting ready for work part of the transformation for you? Do you have a specific ritual for getting into character? I want to make being my stripper persona my job and staying in character is one of my challenges. I don't want to fall into my same old traps and insecurities.
    My projected return date is 10/4. That will give me enough time to prepare mentally and to lose a few extra pounds.

    Thanks for any advice/encouragement. It's good to be back (I hope!).


    "Lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off...but it's better if you do."

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    Wow, what a story! I just wanted to say that I feel for you. Stepping back into the industry is hard. It's really hard. One of the things that makes it so hard is that you can no longer give yourself the "newbie excuse" when you have rough nights. Like you said - you have far more insight into the industry now; that can be a lot of pressure for someone thinking about jumping back into the deep end!

    Try to give yourself permission to wade slowly back into the proverbial pool without expectations about earnings. Try to find the right balance between taking the job seriously (it is money, after all) and having fun with it (because it's more creative than an office job). You don't need to do everything correctly in order to make money: if you're anything like me, you probably started out doing everything incorrectly, and you still made money!

    Keep us updated!

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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    I was where you are now, a little over a year ago. Try not to worry too much about what society thinks about what we do for a living. Society doesn't care much for lawyers or politicians either, yet people still do those jobs as careers.

    As an older dancer you are going to have advantages over the younger ones with the customers. Even if you have a few extra pounds, your personality will carry you into the VIP room. Customers may say they prefer some physical feature of the young girls, but what they really want is a woman who is engaging and interesting as well as sexy and beautiful.

    I quit dancing when I was 37. I returned at 43 and am making more money from fewer customers, now. I work the earlier shifts because that's where the rich, old guys are. It is nice to get home at a reasonable hour, too.

    I don't talk to every customer. I know who my target market is, and limit my interactions to them. Sometimes, I have no fans in the club. At those times I give myself permission to play games on my phone or just sit around and socialize without a financial goal. I really like hanging out with the youngest customers at those times. I'm not selling them dances, but they can be fun just to hang out with and shoot the shit. It's also good for my ego because the young ones think I'm smart when it's just life experience.

    I just joined the September Challenge here on the forum. It is pushing me to work harder (and smarter) than before. Just the thought of the challenge was enough to push my income up by 63% over August 2013. Even better, I worked 16 days in August 2013 and only 13 days in August 2014.

    Try out different shifts and find out which has the highest percentage of customers in your target market. I like working the mid shifts (2pm-9pm or 4pm-11pm). I will work one early shift a week (11-6pm) for a few regulars who like to come in for lunch. I've not worked a closing shift, but left the club shortly before closing a couple of times over the last year because there was good money to be had, so I didn't want to leave.

    Sign up for the challenge, and make your goals happen with us here at SW.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    Hey, I'm kinda in this place too! Welcome back & good luck, yea keep updating!`


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    What helped me when I recently came back after nearly 2 years away, was setting the bar low at first. My husband also works, so I was lucky to have that fall back (as you have your day job.) I started with the goal of making just $500 in profit a week. Very doable in 3 weekend shifts and that would be a huge help to us. Of course I easily exceeded that and now my goal is $850 a week. After that I will go up to $1,000/week and so on. If I go in with a weekly goal, rather than a nightly goal, it helps ease anxiety on slow nights/bad nights. I remember getting so wrapped up in the day to day when I first started, rather than focusing on more long term financial goals. I've also learned to be a little more bitchy/business minded than I was as a newb. I used to be way too personal, talk to custies for WAY too long and I was so caught up in being polite and not hurting anyone's feelings. Now, if they aren't giving me money or buying a dance within our first three minutes of interaction, I move on. Don't over think things. Guys are either going to buy a dance or they're not and it doesn't take 10, 15, 30 minutes to find out. You'll be fine as long as you keep moving and don't spend your energy on time wasters.

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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    OP, I think you'll do much better this time around. You're wiser and are able to see past mistakes in hindsight. Not sure if you'll be rusty movewise, if you are, who gives a shit? My biggest concern is you adjusting to what's going to be a severe calf, foot, thigh, and ass pain until your body adjusts to the physical elements again. Icy hot, stretching, and Tylenol went a long way for me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia View Post
    OP, I think you'll do much better this time around. You're wiser and are able to see past mistakes in hindsight. Not sure if you'll be rusty movewise, if you are, who gives a shit? My biggest concern is you adjusting to what's going to be a severe calf, foot, thigh, and ass pain until your body adjusts to the physical elements again. Icy hot, stretching, and Tylenol went a long way for me.
    OMG that's the truth....Also iron supplements help with bruised up banana legs!

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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    OP - Any updates? I personally think you shouldn't wait another month to start making money. If the "couple of pounds" you're referring to is really just a couple of pounds, then that is probably just an excuse to delay your return. Those couple of pounds will fall off within a week of starting back into stripping.

    I recommend going in to the club spontaneously - pick a night when you just feel good about how you look, only give yourself an hour to get ready, and just do it. It is much better to go in spontaneously than to wait around for a particular date. What if you wake up on the day you picked with a huge zit, or with some bloating? It becomes really easy to get into the pattern of talking yourself out of it week after week.

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    Veteran Member Laylalust's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    Thanks for all the helpful replies, ladies. I feel very encouraged. I am a little worried about being sore and bruised up but it's just a job hazard I'll have to deal with. I plan on staying in a hot bath the whole day after my first night back!

    charlie61, I think you're right that I'm kind of dilly-dallying in waiting for a "perfect day" to go back. I'm kind of nervous and I tend to overly prepare for things so my neuroses are kind of keeping me from just being spontaneous and jumping back in. I do need to purchase a new pair of shoes still and I feel like I should get a spray tan, etc., but in the end these are all excuses and are easily dealt with. I'm just nervous! I'm 27 now instead of 21, I'm worried I've aged in ways physically that I'm not even aware of that will be off-putting or something. So silly, I know. I need to bite the bullet. However, I am pretty busy this month, I have plans this weekend, I will be out of town for a week, and my full-time day job does keep me preoccupied so it's hard to just go into the club. I will make it happen though!


    "Lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off...but it's better if you do."

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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    27!? That is never innately physically off putting. We both could squeeze out another 15 easy if we take care of ourselves. Good luck!

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    Veteran Member Laylalust's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    Yesterday was my first day back! I auditioned on Friday and worked day shift, 12:30-7 yesterday. It wasn't as horrifying as I thought it would be and it really did all come back to me pretty easily. I thought I wouldn't remember how to dance on a pole but it really was just like riding a bike. Of course I was psyching myself out all morning before I went in, practically panicked because I was afraid the girls would be mean or I wouldn't make a single dollar. I decided not to put too much pressure on myself to make a certain amount and to just take it easy the first day so I could get my sea legs back.

    It was a pretty slow day but the customers that were there were tipping and spending money, so it wasn't atrocious. I have heard a lot of people talk up the club, customers and staff alike, about how it's the "best" club in the area (that's not saying much) and that it gets very busy and girls make money. So that's promising. At my old club there would be hours where people weren't making money because it was so dead, but at this place there seemed to always be a rotation of customers coming in. I sold dances and we're allowed to taxi dance too, so that's a good way to supplement tips. I left with $164, which I'm happy with considering it was my first day back and there weren't a lot of people. I definitely will use the "I'm new here" line to sell more. The girls were all pretty cordial and a couple even introduced themselves, which was nice, since I had planned on keeping to myself for the most part.

    My only main problem (besides not being able to get out of bed today; I am SORE) is that it's kind of a high contact club. I didn't really stick to my personal boundary rule with touching and because of that I wasn't feeling very good about myself after. Customers were very handsy during dances, trying to kiss me and lick me and bite me. It was gross. I kept dodging but never did I say "stop doing that" because I wanted to sell those dances. I have a feeling girls let custies get away with a lot there and I'm going to have to figure out how to keep my standards and make money. I'm sure there are threads here on that very subject.

    Also, the manager/owner is a creep. My "audition" was hardly an audition. He didn't have me go on stage and do a set at all, he just took me to the champagne room and sort of interviewed me, then proceeded to give me advice/tips on how to hustle! And then he DEMONSTRATED how to speak with/touch a customer to get them to spend money. Um, I'm good, thanks, I've done this before and don't need you to stare into my eyes intimately and hold my hand and talk to me like you're hustling ME. He was just as handsy as the customers, so I plan on steering clear of him as much as possible. Yesterday on my shift he apologized and said he was more flirtatious with me than he normally is and he was surprised that I came back. And then he bought three dances. Sooo...yeah.

    It was an interesting day. I forgot how surreal being in that environment is, especially contrasted to my regular day-job lifestyle now. I signed up for Friday and Saturday night next weekend, which might have been too ambitious, since I do still have my regular full-time job all week. Whatever, make that money, right? Today I will be soaking in the tub and stretching myself out.


    "Lying's the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off...but it's better if you do."

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    Veteran Member Laylalust's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    Yep...apparently he gets them from most of the dancers at one time or another. I was pretty weirded out by it but also feeling unsure about what is acceptable/normal or not these days.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just like riding a bike, right?

    apparently he gets them from most of the dancers at one time or another. I was pretty weirded out by it but also feeling unsure about what is acceptable/normal or not these days.
    I have to admit that I've worked in a LOT of clubs in a lot of US states and foreign countries over the years, and this is the first time I have ever heard of a manager ponying up money to buy private dances. Perhaps this isn't too bad of an idea, if viewed from the standpoint of checking the 'qualifications' of the club's dancers. Flip side though is that such a manager may be looking to 'fraternize' - which can lead to difficult situations for dancers who aren't willing to reciprocate.


    My only main problem (besides not being able to get out of bed today; I am SORE) is that it's kind of a high contact club. I didn't really stick to my personal boundary rule with touching and because of that I wasn't feeling very good about myself after. Customers were very handsy during dances, trying to kiss me and lick me and bite me. It was gross. I kept dodging but never did I say "stop doing that" because I wanted to sell those dances. I have a feeling girls let custies get away with a lot there and I'm going to have to figure out how to keep my standards and make money. I'm sure there are threads here on that very subject.
    For better or worse, indeed you'll find a good number of SW threads which point out that ongoing poor economic conditions for 'middle class' Americans has resulted in heightened contact level expectations by 'middle class' club customers ... and subsequently heightened contact level availability from dancers working in clubs which depend on 'middle class' Americans as their customer base. Changes along these lines are arguably the biggest 'shock' factor for dancers who are returning to the business after being away for a few years.

    And indeed some are discovering that it's no longer possible to both 'maintain their standards' as well as earn significant money once the 'new girl' popularity wears off ... as customers discover via the purchase of a few private dances, and share with other customers ( via strip club review sites, customer post sites etc. ), how much contact a given dancer is, or is not, willing to provide in exchange for the customer's money.


    I quit dancing when I was 37. I returned at 43 and am making more money from fewer customers, now. I work the earlier shifts because that's where the rich, old guys are. It is nice to get home at a reasonable hour, too.

    I don't talk to every customer. I know who my target market is, and limit my interactions to them
    Indeed this illustrates two important points for 'older' dancers. A. identify what your most lucrative customer type is likely to be, and B. conserve your limited energy by concentrating your efforts on your most lucrative type of customer.


    To paraphrase the thread title, returning to dancing is much like 'riding a bike' ... the stage and hustling skills are never 'lost', and in fact those skills can often be applied more effectively by a more experienced dancer. However, it may also be the case that the 'road' that bike is being ridden on has acquired an 'uphill' slope !!!
    Last edited by Melonie; 09-28-2014 at 03:11 PM.

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