Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: how to avoid looking sexy at a funeral

  1. #1
    Veteran Member azaleanola's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    720
    Thanks
    865
    Thanked 654 Times in 292 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default how to avoid looking sexy at a funeral

    My maternal grandmother, who raised me as much as my actual mom did, died a couple of days ago, and the funeral is Wednesday morning. Like in 5 hours. Yes, I know I should be sleeping. It's been 11 years since I've had to go to a close family member's funeral, and nothing I try on looks right. I've gained some weight over the past year, so my standard conservative black dress is now tight and cleavage-causing, and looks weird without good posture, so heels are necessary. My only daytime-appropriate black heels are scuffed up strappy platform sandals with a cork base. I also don't have any non-stripper jewelry. My grandmother was a Saints fan, so I should be fine wearing cheap official NFL fleur-de-lis earrings, right?


    People are going to look at me no matter what I wear or do. I have tan skin (I was always the darkest in my family, and I maintain it for work) and platinum hair and obvious tattoos. I'm significantly taller than my siblings and cousins. I just want some advice on blending in/deflecting attention. People should be mourning my grandmother, not checking me out.

  2. #2
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,980
    Thanks
    621
    Thanked 6,894 Times in 2,672 Posts

    Default Re: how to avoid looking sexy at a funeral

    Wear a slightly loose cardigan to cover the cleavage and tightness of the dress. The cardigan may change the look enough that you can wear flats instead, but even if you still think you have to wear heels, it shouldn't looks *as* sexy. I mean, it's also a funeral so I think you can wear flats regardless.

    You also don't have to wear jewelry; it's fine to have a more subdued look. I'd also recommend not wearing any/much make up either, and maybe putting your hair up in a bun.

  3. #3
    Featured Member kaninchen's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    1,659
    Thanks
    930
    Thanked 5,550 Times in 1,321 Posts

    Default Re: how to avoid looking sexy at a funeral

    You don't have to wear all black. Do you have anything in taupe, gray, navy? The last funeral I attended (and my family is pretty WASPy/conservative) my mother wore a navy dress with a fine white pattern and a gray shawl. I wore an above-the-knee black cotton dress that I made appropriate with black tights and flats and a tan sweater. I think as long as you look tame and vaguely frumpy you'll be okay. I also think that if you're there and are grieving no one is going to be like, "OMG look at that celebrating hussy!"

    Agree with Shanna about a bun, and a low bun will look less sexy/glam than a high bun.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    ETA: if you change your mind about the platforms, remember that heels can sink into soft earth and may be difficult to wear in a cemetery.

  4. #4
    Banned Aniela's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Location
    KW
    Posts
    3,291
    Thanks
    6,920
    Thanked 5,854 Times in 2,242 Posts
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: how to avoid looking sexy at a funeral

    When I was trying to put together an outfit for my ex's funeral last summer I had the same fear. He'd outed me sm time b4 so most of his family knew I was a dancer, & I was so worried abt giving the wrong impression.

    I settled on a gold-coloured skirt that came to just above the knee, & a long sleeved black button down sweater that had been one of his favourite things of mine. The sweater was cut long & fit loosely on me (enough I could leave the bottom-most buttons undone since I'd gotten a small tattoo on my side in his memory two days b4 the funeral). I wore black heels, but even tho they were only abt 2" they still sank into the earth while walking thru the cemetery. As for makeup, just foundation-powder-mascara(the most waterproof I could find).

    So very sry for your loss. As one girl mentioned in the thread I started when my ex died, & where I expressed uncertainty abt what to wear to his funeral, on that day no one will be judging you & if they are, their opinion matters less than ever.

  5. #5
    God/dess Zofia's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Durham, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,417
    Thanks
    2,964
    Thanked 2,370 Times in 934 Posts

    Default Re: how to avoid looking sexy at a funeral

    I live in the south where everyone gets their panties in a wad if a woman wears anything but black to a funeral. Don't ask me how I know. Thus, I now have a frumpy black pants suit that looks like Hillary Clinton would wear. Even with that, I wear a white blouse, though I button it almost all the way up.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member azaleanola's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    720
    Thanks
    865
    Thanked 654 Times in 292 Posts
    My Mood
    Tired

    Default Re: how to avoid looking sexy at a funeral

    I took a while to respond because, in retrospect, it was absurd for me to be stressing about this. Nobody paid any sexual attention to me. Sure, most of the handful of men in attendance that I didn't know already made a point of starting conversations with me, but they all clammed up and found a reason to walk away as soon as I mentioned that I was her eldest granddaughter. The only comments I heard about my appearance were favorable comparisons to my grandmother's WW2-era amateur pinup photos that somehow made it into the montage.

    I was surrounded by people with manners! Respectfully mourning!

    I can't believe that I'm jaded enough to expect anything else.

    People are good sometimes.
    Last edited by azaleanola; 09-08-2014 at 06:45 AM. Reason: i felt like elaborating

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to azaleanola For This Useful Post:


  8. #7
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Location
    HearstCastle, Rosebud
    Posts
    8,848
    Thanks
    22,676
    Thanked 17,513 Times in 6,696 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: how to avoid looking sexy at a funeral

    I caught this late...I am sorry for your loss.

    I got flirted with at a funeral but ignored the guy b/c I was crying. I think some people are entitled to a little levity at a funeral. (I was wearing a black dress with sleeves...I was just so young at the time this other young guy felt like making eye contact. Oh well.)

  9. #8
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    27,134
    Thanks
    55,898
    Thanked 26,028 Times in 13,271 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: how to avoid looking sexy at a funeral

    I am sorry for your loss. Glad it went well (as could be under the circumstances).


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 27
    Last Post: 07-17-2008, 06:11 PM
  2. working in the funeral home
    By greenidlady1 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 08-31-2007, 08:44 PM
  3. Funeral for a Friend...
    By Zoe_en_Australie in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-19-2006, 11:21 PM
  4. What song(s) would you want at your funeral?
    By primetime21 in forum Music Mix
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 02-20-2005, 05:37 PM
  5. Funeral for a Marine
    By madmaxine in forum Political Poo
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-29-2004, 08:46 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •