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Thread: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

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    Senior Member MISS_TENAY's Avatar
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    Angry Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    I think I attract a lot of haters (fellow dancer).... Like I stay to myself probably talk to 1 or two girls at most Im not there to make friends nor sit in a group of females.... I make money and im pretty (most girls there aren't competition anyway soo maybe their jealous but dammm this sh*t is getting old... we are not in high school fuckkkk focus on making your own money and not me jeeeez!!!!! For example there this one girl( out of a few) at the club which totally hates me for what reason idk idc.... the other night I was sitting at the bar which is around a stage ... I was in between two custys which were really nice... throwing money buying drinks tipping and she gets on stage the guy to the right of me made a rude comment saying I should teach her how to dance she cant dance blah blah ... I just said... that I have nothing to do with that I don't care for her or w.e, minutes later she comes in the DR accusing me of talking shit to them about her.... I told her I didn't say shit that they were just having fun or w.e she was upset saying she did "heard me" talk shit about her... the dumb loudness got the managers attention so she tried to make me look bad...... I went to the custy and he actually knew the manager and told her exactly how it all happened and he apologized to her lol this all sounds like she was trying to start a fight with me,,,, ooh and she also starts talking xtra shit like saying I only make money cuz im a slut and I should get a nose job blaha blah blah lol she sound very stupid and insecure... God I Hate dumb girls..... care to vent???

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    Veteran Member AlenaRoza's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    That girl doesn't really sound like a "hater" but more like she overheard the conversation and got embarrassed, so she acted out. Haters to me are usually cliques of girls who have too much time on their hands. They're bitter, territorial, jealous and bored.

    I've never had real haters as far as I know. Little comments here and there, whatever. I'm decent to others, I have respect for others, and I don't expect it in return. I can't make you like me and I could not at all care less. Something about this works. Sorry if this didnt make sense, I'm tired.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    i feel like you shouldn't have said that you "don't care for her or w.e", i try and never talk about or put down coworkers in front of customers, especially ones like those who try and start drama.i either playfully go "ohh stop that's mean" or quickly change the subject. so i have to agree with alena i dont think she's necessarily a "hater"

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    Veteran Member azaleanola's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Your posts are usually hard for me to parse, with idiosyncratic spelling and punctuation. Maybe it's just a communication issue.

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i feel like you shouldn't have said that you "don't care for her or w.e", i try and never talk about or put down coworkers in front of customers, especially ones like those who try and start drama.i either playfully go "ohh stop that's mean" or quickly change the subject. so i have to agree with alena i dont think she's necessarily a "hater"
    This. Just redirect the conversation to *not* focus on putting down another dancer, even if it's one you don't care for. Even if you're not openly trash talking her yourself, by letting the trash talking go on and/or saying anything even remotely negative, you're basically condoning it.

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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    I can't stand customers that do that. I usually say something like

    Omg that's not very nice. Im going to leave if you don't stop

    Never participate in their bs, wether you started it or not, somehow you'll still get crucified

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Reading your posts, I think sm times you come off as a bit full of yourself. I could be mistaken, since like azeleanola I usually have to go back & re-read your posts bc I find it hard to decipher huge blocks of 'trendy'-spelt txt & lol/w.e/etc every other sentence. What i'm getting at is that there is a fine line between being confident & being stuck-up & you may be coming across to others as having an attitude that's on the wrong side of that line. Responding as you did to that rude comment w/ 'I don't care for her' is a prime example, it sounded to me like you were blowing her off as tho she was beneath you. Customers try to stir the pot all the time, & I agree that by not shutting him down you came off as not only agreeing but condoning his rudeness.

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    Featured Member Tourdefranzia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Quote Originally Posted by TheWeirdOne View Post
    I can't stand customers that do that. I usually say something like

    Omg that's not very nice. Im going to leave if you don't stop

    Never participate in their bs, wether you started it or not, somehow you'll still get crucified
    Ding! Ding! Ding!

    That is the correct answer. I usually try to shame the customer who says stupid shit, by asking him to repeat himself, but louder because I could have swore I heard him wrong because he seems like a really nice person.

    Some customers like to start drama with the dancers and find it entertaining. Don't fall for the bait again. If they are making fun of other dancers, you can be sure they are making fun of you, too, when your back is turned.

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    Senior Member MISS_TENAY's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Quote Originally Posted by Tourdefranzia View Post
    Ding! Ding! Ding!

    That is the correct answer. I usually try to shame the customer who says stupid shit, by asking him to repeat himself, but louder because I could have swore I heard him wrong because he seems like a really nice person.

    Some customers like to start drama with the dancers and find it entertaining. Don't fall for the bait again. If they are making fun of other dancers, you can be sure they are making fun of you, too, when your back is turned.
    I understand I should've replied differently although I did not let it continue I did actually switch up the convo after and I honestly would care less if he or any other custy did that towards me because they don't make or break me...

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    Senior Member MISS_TENAY's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    As far as some saying I seem full of myself is crazy because that I am not.... and I just try to stay to myself as much as posiible these are the same girls talking in the DR aboutme or w.e It just bothers me when they try to get under my skin.

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    Veteran Member Lexi_Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    If it bothers you when they try to get under your skin, they're getting under your skin. Just let it go.

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    Senior Member MISS_TENAY's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Well...what im getting at is.... should I be doing something different at other clubs to avoid these type of women in the future I mean like whats yalls tactics to work well with other dancers since staying to myself and not being fake hasn't worked out for me

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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    ^What do you mean by not being fake?

    Staying out of the DR is a good way to avoid drama, even if you keep to yourself in there. Get ready before you get to work so you can just pop in and get right on the floor, and literally just pop in and out when you need something.

    Avoiding any talk about your fellow dancers is also a wise idea, so just always shut it down if anyone brings up the topic.

    Some clubs are just more drama friendly than others, but if you're really keeping to yourself and ignoring/walking away from the groups of dancers that are talking about you or whatever, that's all you can do. Like, be polite, but don't even pay attention to what the other dancers are doing. Not really sure what other advice to offer!

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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    I do think she was being condescending towards you... But if she's hating on you and you get upset over whatever she's said then she's already winning. Don't stoop down to her level and just do your own thing... Who cares what other strippers think anyway.

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    God/dess simone87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    when you say things like " most of the girls here aren't competition anyways" and shit like that, it does make you sound like you think you are a lot better than them and maybe that's what's coming out in your actions or words.

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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    ^^^^ Exactly. If they truly are 'not even competition' why are they worth so much of your energy anyway? If they are not physically fkng w/ you, your stuff or your $$$, they really aren't anything to worry abt.

    Spend minimal time in the DR. I always came in dressed under my street clothes & most of my makeup done. Only pop back in for touchups, to eat, or a 5min break. Bring headphones if it's that big a deal.

    Remember, perception is reality. Idk, maybe you are just one of those girls that is really chill as fk but has a 'bitch resting face' but I am just going off the tone of your posts. I don't just mean this thread either. Just smtg to think abt, maybe you are coming off as stuck up at work. I try to give every1 the benefit of the doubt, until they give me reason not to, but diva dancers really put a bad taste in my mouth.

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Even if I despise a bitch I never shit talk them because it only gives them free PR. If a customer talks shit I shrug it off with "I don't really know her" or something along that line of bullshit.

    As for being full of yourself I can't judge. I've got an ego to match my tits. But I don't like to think of it as being conceited. I just have an honest assessment of my better qualities. I also try to avoid subjective statements like "I'm the hottest one here." All that depends on the beholder. However when I use facts, it's different. "I have the biggest tits here. " (99.5% it's true)
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Here's an example for you. I was sitting with a custy last night and another dancer was going onstage. He said, quite loudly "She looks like a total bitch." Not sure if said dancer heard it, but I quickly corrected him, saying " Oh no, she's a total sweetheart! Every time I've talked to her, she's always been really nice and I always see her smiling and laughing with customers." Which is true, altbough we're both the type that rarely talks to other dancers so we've only talked once or twice. But, she was cool to me when I have talked to her and I do see her having a good time with customers, so...

    I don't let customers shit talk other dancers, even the girls I don't click with. I always come up with sonething nice to say and change the subject. The only girls that will get an evasive answer are girls that have deliberately fucked with my money or have a reputation for ripping off customer. And even then, nothing negative. Just... evasive.

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    Senior Member MISS_TENAY's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Thanks alot girls for your insights... really helped alot.

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    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Quote Originally Posted by Tourdefranzia View Post

    Some customers like to start drama with the dancers and find it entertaining. Don't fall for the bait again. If they are making fun of other dancers, you can be sure they are making fun of you, too, when your back is turned.

    Is like those customers get off by creating (previously non existent) drama among dancers.





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    Featured Member Danni's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i feel like you shouldn't have said that you "don't care for her or w.e", i try and never talk about or put down coworkers in front of customers, especially ones like those who try and start drama.i either playfully go "ohh stop that's mean" or quickly change the subject. so i have to agree with alena i dont think she's necessarily a "hater"
    Agreed. Never ever talk about co workers to custies ESPECIALLY when there is a chance she could have heard you and you already knew she doesn't care for you.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by Kisa7513 View Post
    You can only make so much selling dances, but when you really get into a guys head and heart, you get into his wallet.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    I second everyone who's said "just don't do it". If a customer says something about another girl, I will just say "I don't really know anything about her". Sometimes they'll make comments about girls on stage being fat or something, and even then I respond with something like "Well some guys are into that, she must do ok if she's still working here". Then I change the subject.

    I also second the votes of that you sound a liiiiiittle full of yourself judging from your other threads. Even if you are not speaking to anyone else, you can very easily project the vibe that you're conceited. But that shouldn't matter anyway, because you should be able to just ignore that kind of shit anyway.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    I just lol at it. Like, if a person really did not care about you, they wouldn't be upset with you, talk about you, or have you on their radar + negative feelings and/or comments. So just the fact that they care means you automatically win. Caring that they care is when you lose.

    I've always done my own thing, and not cared what others think. Theres absolutely no reason for you to care that they care or what they think, as long as you are happy with your own little life. I am so obsessed with my life, my hobbies/interests, my good friends, my pets, etc etc that I could care less that some random person might hate or dislike me. Nothing anyone could ever say about me would ever affect me because I'm happy with where I'm at with things, and if I wasn't, I would change it. So all "haters" do is cause me to think: "??? Lol why do they care? Ok bye random person who cares for no reason!" So do that. If they don't affect you, then you really won't care.


    Quote Originally Posted by kirakonstantin View Post
    Here's an example for you. I was sitting with a custy last night and another dancer was going onstage. He said, quite loudly "She looks like a total bitch." Not sure if said dancer heard it, but I quickly corrected him, saying " Oh no, she's a total sweetheart! Every time I've talked to her, she's always been really nice and I always see her smiling and laughing with customers." Which is true, altbough we're both the type that rarely talks to other dancers so we've only talked once or twice. But, she was cool to me when I have talked to her and I do see her having a good time with customers, so...

    I don't let customers shit talk other dancers, even the girls I don't click with. I always come up with sonething nice to say and change the subject. The only girls that will get an evasive answer are girls that have deliberately fucked with my money or have a reputation for ripping off customer. And even then, nothing negative. Just... evasive.
    Totally agree. Just like the saying "you get out of it what you put into it" the same holds true with emotions. If you engage in negativity (even if its someone else's negativity they try to involve you in), you will get negativity or unfortunate circumstances back in your life. Likewise, if you engage in positive or neutral activity, the same will come back to you.

    We are human beings and we rely on homeostasis to stay alive. The same can be said about our emotional state. You get back what you give. You get what you participate in. "Karma" or the law of attraction I suppose. Negativity is never a good choice.
    Last edited by GlamourRouge; 09-16-2014 at 06:09 PM.

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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    OMG I have been wondering the same thing for years.

    It's not just dancers... Over the years the nastiest, most repulsive bitches have been trying to unleash all their rage on me for no fucking reason. Girls in high school, and now the disgusting pieces of trash I have to deal with on a daily basis. I think I'm an easy target because I keep to myself and am easy going by nature. Also I am weird, I've always been different and some people just don't know how to respond to me HOWEVER that is no excuse because I don't speak to these girls, I NEVER initiate anything. They *SEEK ME OUT* as if I'm their free-for-all whipping boy.

    I'm going back to dancing after a two month break and I swear to God it's over. I'm not taking anymore shit from customers or dancers. Tonight is horrible for me, because for some reason all these past bullying events triggered in my mind and I am just furious and I want to fucking kill right now.

    I used to keep silent as a protection method, but honestly it'll kill me if I don't start saying something. I have enough built up rage that I could do some damage to these assholes if I really wanted to.

    Jesus Christ I hate flashbacks.. this night is fucking terrible

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do I attract soo many haterz???

    Quote Originally Posted by MISS_TENAY View Post
    I think I attract a lot of haters (fellow dancer).... Like I stay to myself probably talk to 1 or two girls at most Im not there to make friends nor sit in a group of females.... I make money and im pretty (most girls there aren't competition anyway soo maybe their jealous but dammm this sh*t is getting old... we are not in high school fuckkkk focus on making your own money and not me jeeeez!!!!! For example there this one girl( out of a few) at the club which totally hates me for what reason idk idc.... the other night I was sitting at the bar which is around a stage ... I was in between two custys which were really nice... throwing money buying drinks tipping and she gets on stage the guy to the right of me made a rude comment saying I should teach her how to dance she cant dance blah blah ... I just said... that I have nothing to do with that I don't care for her or w.e, minutes later she comes in the DR accusing me of talking shit to them about her.... I told her I didn't say shit that they were just having fun or w.e she was upset saying she did "heard me" talk shit about her... the dumb loudness got the managers attention so she tried to make me look bad...... I went to the custy and he actually knew the manager and told her exactly how it all happened and he apologized to her lol this all sounds like she was trying to start a fight with me,,,, ooh and she also starts talking xtra shit like saying I only make money cuz im a slut and I should get a nose job blaha blah blah lol she sound very stupid and insecure... God I Hate dumb girls..... care to vent???

    Let's say that you're a legit super-magnet for haters. Let's pretend that this is an undeniable fact. Haters love to hate on you more than a chubby kid loves to eat cake.

    Haaaaaaaaaate!!!!

    What now? Well, you can ignore the haters. It's actually much harder than it sounds... but you can choose to avoid confrontation as a start. Don't let the haters drag you down to their level. Transcend the badgering, the instigation, the invitations to partake in conflict. Be above all that.

    Do you. Do your job. Mind your money. Don't get caught up in the hoopla.

    Getting into a verbal dispute with some haterish stripper makes you no better than her. Your disagreement causes a scene, management doesn't care if you're wrong or right because you're conducting yourself inappropriately in a place of business... and honestly no one needs that headache.

    Accept that haters are hateful. Try to ignore it. If it gets to be too much, approach management... let them know what's going on. Harassment isn't appreciated anywhere. If you don't act angry or hysterical, management will listen to you. Say what you need to say without insulting the haters or getting emotional. Be matter of fact without being vindictive.

    Hopefully it won't come to that... hopefully the haters will find something better to do, sooner rather than later and you won't have to discuss anything with anyone.

    But being stable, professional, and straight up with management (if you encounter problems down the road) is the best advice that I can give you.

    Key points:
    Do not involve customers in your conflicts. Don't ask customers to vouch for you. Speak to management yourself.
    Don't react emotionally to underhanded talk. Let the blah, blah, blah roll off of your back. If the talk escalates and borders on being defamatory, approach management and let them know. Don't confront haters. Don't talk smack about them. Don't squabble with them.
    Keep your hands clean.
    Do your job. Do it well. Make your money. Eff everyone else.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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