My father passed away in March of this year after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He died less than two weeks after the diagnosis and it has left this huge gaping hole in my life. I lost my mother as a teen after an extended illness and my stepmom committed suicide when I was twenty-five and my two brothers are douchebags so my father was pretty much all I had left. I was already feeling burned out from dancing but now it's like a light has gone out. I've always done decently and now my earnings are seriously embarrassing most nights. I've already taken a serious amount of time off and am barely dancing, but I'm burning through my savings and if I didn't have my day job I'd be screwed. I'm taking a few weeks off right now but when that's over I NEED to get back to making more than I have been. I know that I need to take care of myself emotionally and what not, but bills must be paid and I don't want to use up all of my savings. I'm already seeing a psychiatrist to treat my bipolar disorder but all medication does is take the edge off. I've thought about therapy but I dread having to find a therapist who won't get shitty about stripping. At this point I just don't know what else to do. I feel like I'm trying to do everything right and am getting nowhere.
I think I'm just venting here. Most of my friends have no idea that I dance and even those that do have no idea how much of it depends on being able to put on a happy face.



Reply With Quote

Bookmarks