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Thread: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

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    Veteran Member HallelujahHopkins's Avatar
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    Duh All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    Do any of you have the problem of all your friends trying to hop on the stripper bandwagon with you?

    It's starting to piss me off.

    I'm a booksmart fairly straight edge student with bushy hair and chubby cheeks, which for some reason gives my friends the idea that if I can do it they can too. Obviously it's an attractive lifestyle- get paid $100/hr to look pretty? Only work one day a week? Be 'edgy' and counterculture for a little college girl adventure?

    So then they (this has happened 3x!) start asking questions. Want me to help them find outfits. Introduce them to the managers. Watch their auditions. Coach them.

    Fine. That's fine. And I do my best to warn them the job is not glamorous and easy. It can be exhausting, disgusting, and most of all it's actually hard work. So then they dance for one night. Maybe three. They are beautiful. And they don't fucking have what it takes.

    I'm insulted they think my job is so easy. That I'm a top earner because I sit on my ass and am too shy to talk to people. Like this is fucking Dusk til Dawn and they'll be the sole performer enchanting everyone without any effort. "Gosh, why doesn't everyone do this?" Because It's fucking work. It's draining. It takes skill and finesse and body language- everything sculpted to perfection be it your persona or your tits. One girl made bank for two nights, couldn't handle making less on a third night and feeling rejected. "How could they reject little ole me? I'm so perfect! *sob"* Another "oh, I don't mind the dancing but I don't like having to talk to people." Really? what did you think was going to happen? It's not a fucking peep show where they quietly gaze at you while you ignore them.

    They also don't seem to understand that when they try to imitate my style they are cutting in on my market (not that it's ever been a real threat). They don't understand that shoes and thongs are work for me- it isn't shopping for the prom, I don't want to sit in dressing rooms for their amusement while they flounce around in self admiration. That when they don't show up ever again it reflects poorly on me with the management. I end up feeling used and discarded, so much effort to then have them turn up their noses and decide they're too good for it. Thanks.

    I did stop speaking with one 'good friend' who was unnecessarily exploitative. Another was set on it and I just wanted to make sure she didn't have a horrible time because I'm protective of her. I knew she would hate it. But I'm done. No more grooming girls to be strippers unless they pay me a personal shopper fee. I did it without anyone holding my hand. I did my research, found the stores and club I needed. Sucked it up, saved money, learned to do my makeup, found online forums. I resent them wanting to be spoon fed when I made sure to never inconvenience my dancer friends with it. Argh.

    This is my job, not a party. Stop trying to trivialize it. It takes balls and nerves of steel, it isn't girls gone wild and your tits aren't special because you're educated. Oh well. More money for the rest of us ;p


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    Banned Aniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    Meh, it pisses me off when ppl trivialise the job -- for all of abt 90sec anymore. It's kinda like the idiot female customers that see polework & are all like 'I can do that shit easy' when they're rocking jell-o arms & muffin tops. I usually just laugh at them anymore (sm times just to myself, sm times to their face if they are really being obnoxious). We make it look easy. If one of my friends came & tried to start working in my club w/ the attitude you described, & couldn't cut it, I would laugh them right back out onto the street.

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    Veteran Member HallelujahHopkins's Avatar
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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    Oh god or the female customers who decide to start booty shaking at the bar and climbing in male customer's laps...and when you comment they squeal proudly "I know right, they offered me a job!"

    Yeah I don't normally let things bother me...it's just when people I love and respect are being idiots that I get tetchy.

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    God/dess Selina M's Avatar
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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    I've had friends ask about doing it... and I promptly scared them away, with tales of shit days where you make $30, guys try to lick you, you give a big chunk of money to the house... etc.
    I agree though, people think it's so easy because in the movies nobody rejects the girl for dances, and when she gets on stage people throw $20s at her... yeah right.

    The other thing I hate about the outsider viewpoint is "Oooh you must have so much money!" and then they can't understand me not wanting to go to the snotty fake upscale bars here (and spend $10 a drink), or why I don't drive a brand new car, etc. They think strippers have this endless supply of money and that we can never run out, and saving for when you have a crisis is a ludicrous idea.

    Bottom line, nobody knows what it's like until they actually DO it, and by do it I mean make it your sole income for at least a month. THEN they might understand a little bit.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

    "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    i blame tv shows, movies, and music videos..salma hayek prancing around twirling her pigtails in the air and having every guy throwing buckets of $1s while they trip over their own jaws..Demi Moore shuffling around on a table 2 yards away from some old guy on a yacht and getting paid thousands..oh PLEASE. i just want to throw my tv out the window when i see ridiculous shit like that.
    i dont have a lot of female friends, but even the guy friends i have are always like " i'm sure you make much more than me..i wish i could make that dancing around a pole all night for that kind of money". they don't get it. some nights i'll leave with 200 bucks. "but.. you're a pretty girl, i'm sure you make lots of money every night!" guess what, there are 30 other girls just as pretty as the next competing every night, and guys that horde their 20 dollar bills until they find the prettiest girl in the room that will offer the most. things have gotten so hard, year after year. it really makes me mad when people have no idea how hard we have to work for our money


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    Senior Member skripper's Avatar
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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    I've had "friends" on 3 separate occasions come to my bar with me. It never works out. They either weigh you down, consuming your time with bullshit in the dressing room, needing to borrow this and that and "oh, can I use your gstring" or "can I borrow that (brand fucking new) outfit you just got?" No bitch no you can't..no I don't want to put your eyelashes on for you and no I don't want to help you ease your nerves with some pep talk or assistance on the floor. When I'm at work I want to hustle and I can't get my head right with a nervous ball and chain dragging behind me.


    Everyone always trivializes stripping. They think it's so easy and like I'll have all this extra time to just chill with them and chat...they have no idea how to hustle and they all think it's a mindless job where men just dump $1s on you. It offends me when I think about it, it really does. No one realizes the emotional and mental toll, and no one sees how difficult it is to hustle that hard. I used to not care about who I told about my job but after dealing with people's misconceptions and people running their mouths about what I do, like I'm some novelty...I'm over it...

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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    I sort of got involved in the business because of others around me who were strippers. The thing was, I had already worked in commission sales before I ever set foot on the stage. I could see the other dancers leaving money on the table, so I got my nerve together and auditioned with the blessings of my dancer friends. Then I started making more $$ than them on a consistent basis. They didn't stay my "friends" for very long.

    Encouraging friends to go into the business is like training your replacement sometimes. It can definitely suck.

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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by simone87 View Post
    i blame tv shows, movies, and music videos..salma hayek prancing around twirling her pigtails in the air and having every guy throwing buckets of $1s while they trip over their own jaws..Demi Moore shuffling around on a table 2 yards away from some old guy on a yacht and getting paid thousands..oh PLEASE. i just want to throw my tv out the window when i see ridiculous shit like that.
    Hahaha - SERIOUSLY. This made me laugh. Don't even get me started on Showgirls!!

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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    I told very few people what i did, but one of my boyfriend's female friends begged for me to take her to the club because she wanted to dance. She just didn't have what it took but my boyfriend pleaded with me so i loaned her a dress and took her to the club.

    She had just one customer all night who bought three dances with her and then she had the audacity to start telling me "Oh, he said he'd much rather have me than you and i told him i'm wearing your dress and it looks better on me"

    i had to set her straight, "Honey, i don't come to work for compliments, i come to work to make cash - tonight i've made £200 and because it's your first shift you're going home with £30 - if you were a real stripper you'd be going home with nothing." She never spoke about wanting to be a stripper again and i warned my boyfriend that i would never take anyone on ever again and he should never have promised i would.

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    Veteran Member fishielicious's Avatar
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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    Since I started dancing, so many of my friends are just CONVINCED they too could be dancers if they could only lose some cellulite/find the time/work up the courage to audition. I don't say anything to contradict them, but I do think, "Bitch, those are the reasons you never actually WILL be a dancer." It seems to me, if you're already worried about your cellulite or your confidence or are otherwise making up excuses not to be dancing right now, you're never going to do well doing it.

    What's more irritating to me than that are my friends who treat my dancing job like it's some kind of joke. I have this one friend/coworker at my vanilla job, who every time I even mention something about my second job (even if it's just saying I can't get together with friends/coworkers, because I'll be working then) will laugh or smirk or roll her eyes or something that makes everyone else around us curious and suspicious and wanting to ask me questions about my second job and why this girl is laughing about it. I wish I had never told her, because goddamn girl, me stripping is not a cute inside joke, it's how I make my money. It is the only thing keeping me afloat with how little I make at my vanilla job, and it's not funny, it's not like it's some prank I'm doing to amuse you. She is, unsurprisingly, also one of those girls who's always like, "Oh when are you working I'll get people together and come see you!" as though that would ever be something I want (unless this group of broke MFA students is gonna start throwing fifties at me on stage out of the blue). I just hate it when people treat it like it's some kind of cute inconsequential hobby I have, rather than a real job that I go to to make real money.

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    Senior Member xcatxbrownx's Avatar
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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    I think it's awesome to have my friends come and try. Just try to do my job. It's happened like 3 times and they never last more than a day because they don't have what it takes. I honestly think it's cool because they walk out with a new found respect for strippers and stripping.

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    Featured Member Naida's Avatar
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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    Three times, I've had girls come to work with me.

    The first girl was totally excited to try it because she could tell that I loved dancing. I HAD to go shopping with her to prevent her from making a total fool of herself (no ass and wanted to wear micro shorts!) and gave her a quick makeup lesson before we went on the clock. She worked a total of maybe five shifts over the course of two months. She didn't suck at making money when she did work, but she had no backbone for doing it as a job.
    The second girl was a roommate that I refused to keep supporting financially when our money situation took a turn for the worst. She was certainly good enough looking, and didn't need any help with hair/makeup/dressing (though she did have to borrow outfits from me her first week until she could buy her own), and wasn't clueless when it came to dancing "exotically." She fell into step with everything quickly, but sucked at making money because she treated the job too much like a party. She worked consistently for about a month, until I moved out, then weekends until she got pregnant a couple months later. She used to shit talk the job and me for doing it until she did it, then promptly went right back to doing so after she quit.
    The last girl was NOT a newbie like the other two. In fact, she had more experience than me and we worked together last summer. The first week, she danced at a skeazy club she worked before, but agreed to work evenings at my club if I got her in with the managers (one of which was acquainted with me, the other was a very good friend from my first time there) because I refused to work in a place that looked like a den of drugs and extras. Worst mistake of my life. Worst mistake of my life. She wanted to double hustle; hurt my money. She had jealousy issues that made her cut into my hustle; hurt my money. She constantly shit talked and gave unsolicited "advice" about my hustle everywhere, in the dressing room, in our hotel room, on the floor; frustrated me so badly that I couldn't focus on my hustle, thereby hurting my money. A few times, she got WAY too fucked up. Ran off with all of my shit I had brought one week (both civilian and work clothes, all my hair shit, my whole makeup bag, supplements and medications, etc). She left a very bad taste in both the managers' mouths, so much so that they didn't even want ME back until after I had an opportunity to speak to the one I was friends with on a personal level.
    All three of these girls racked up some kind of debt that I ended up being responsible for.

    What these situations have taught me is- nope nope nope! I will almost assuredly NEVER bring another girl in with me again, whether amateur or experienced. If they're new and want to start, I'll be supportive and a source of information/advice the way you ladies have, but that is where it ends. I will not hold your hand. I will not vouch for you. I will not loan or help you buy outfits. I will not show you how to do your hair and makeup. I will not tell you anything about the job you don't specifically ask about. I am going to treat you like any other new girl and you'll have to float yourself, the same way I started out.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    It s annoying when people glamourize the industry OP, but after they have actually "tried" it their opinion will probably be very different; they will get a harsh reality check, go home tired, sore mentally and physically exhausted with much less than they expected to make. They will have a new found respect, in a sense, for how you make a living. It's a job, people forget that.
    “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” -Marilyn Monroe

    "True sexiness has many facets-confidence, strength, intelligence, and humor. It isn’t just about trying to look sexy; it’s an art and one becomes skillful in it when she realizes that there are all these conflicting elements that all come together to make something magical"-Dita Von Teese

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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Naida View Post
    The last girl was NOT a newbie like the other two. In fact, she had more experience than me and we worked together last summer. The first week, she danced at a skeazy club she worked before, but agreed to work evenings at my club if I got her in with the managers (one of which was acquainted with me, the other was a very good friend from my first time there) because I refused to work in a place that looked like a den of drugs and extras. Worst mistake of my life. Worst mistake of my life. She wanted to double hustle; hurt my money. She had jealousy issues that made her cut into my hustle; hurt my money..
    Why would you even tried to talk her out that dive? She was probably doing ok over there. You didn't had to dance at the same club as her, and if she insisted into moving to your club, you could had persuade her (nicely, of course) to stay at her dive.





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    Featured Member Naida's Avatar
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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    Why would you even tried to talk her out that dive? She was probably doing ok over there. You didn't had to dance at the same club as her, and if she insisted into moving to your club, you could had persuade her (nicely, of course) to stay at her dive.
    It was a complicated situation. We were sharing a hotel room within walking distance of the two clubs. The first week, she worked day and night shifts there, and I tagged along and just hung out in whatever part of the club the manager wanted me in to be away from customers until she got off. Then we walked back to the hotel room together.
    When I refused to work there myself, the options became either she move to my club on night shift so we could walk back together or we walk separately, and the latter was FAR less appetizing. She actually really liked making the change because she made more on night shift at my club, and she continued working day at the first since mine was night-only. She eventually quit working day shift there when she borrowed money from the manager (who knew what hotel we were staying in!) that she had no intention of repaying, and didn't even bother to tell me about it until AFTER we stopped working together.
    Long story short, that chick was just a whole bag of crazy. I had known her since we were kids but we had never lived or worked together before. The experience of living and working together showed me how I had been making excuses for her for years, and she wasn't at all as much of a "friend" as I had convinced myself she was.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    i feel for you OP.in my experience bringing a newbie to work with you is just plain bad idea,they are extremely self-centered,needy,full of stupid or negative opinions,arogant…borrow a lot of your stuff,waste your time,get you in trouble with the club...and absolutely oblivious of what you do for them.

    becoming close with other dancers or trying a new club together with another hustler is not good either.you can never tell them if you had a good nite cos they'd be jelous and start competing with you in a hurtful way,try to chat up your spenders or regulars in a very catty way,distracting you with some bullshit chat when they see you about to close your sale,deliberately not supporting you when you need it,the list goes on,subtle but powerful tricks to make you feel like they are worth more than you…which is so mean,i stare in misbelief at them when they come to me to complain that people dont treat them with enough appreciation,i just go mute.thinking to myself:thats fucking karma mate,surprised much? lol

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    Veteran Member Neonsugar's Avatar
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    Default Re: All the cool kids are doing it! (Rant)

    Totally not related to the topic but is dusk till dawn the name of the club you work at? Because I just started working there lol

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