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Thread: Feeling burned out

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    Default Feeling burned out

    I have been in the industry for about 2 years and a half now. I started with stripping and eventually moved to body rubs, this is what I have mainly been doing lately. The last few months were great for me monetarily speaking but I'm starting to feel really burned out.

    I have never really taken time off, except the occasional nights off when I had to study for midterms or finals. I always had a vanilla job but quit last fall to completely focus on school. The job I currently have is my main source of income and I cut down my shifts to one day (12 hrs) per week but I still think it's too much. I feel like I can't handle this anymore, I also worked full-time (4 days per week) during the summer even though I was feeling burnt, I pushed through. I haven't had an entire week off in 4 years.

    I have been feeling so depressed at the thought of going to work the past couple of weeks. Last week I woke up in the morning at 7 and cried because I dreaded going to work and right now I am at work but I really want to leave. I don't feel good and I'm having a lot of negative thoughts.

    I decided to take the next 2 weeks off and I am thinking of finding a new job... But part of me is scared. I am afraid of returning to the vanilla world after 1 year working solely in the sex industry. I have to update my resume, make applications and go through interviews. I can't work more than 10-15 hrs per week, which means I will be living with less than $200 per week. Right now I can make rent and a little more in one day. :/ I don't feel like I am ready to go back to the "real world" but at the same time, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to stop having to lead a double life.

    I feel stuck and I don't know what to do. I have money saved but I don't want to live off my savings and be without a job for several months.

    What are your thoughts? Have you ever been through this phase? How did you overcome it? I'm sorry the post was so long... I have been keeping this to myself and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it.
    Last edited by xStacey; 09-13-2014 at 09:31 PM.

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    Burnout is tough enough on its own to deal w/, but it is truly 10000x worse when financial constraints have to be factored in. I have been in your position more than once, OP

    Is there any way that after this upcoming 2wk break you could just cut back to your BR job a couple times a wk, & supplement w/ a part-time vanilla job? I think that even the meagre guaranteed pay you would get from the PT vanilla job could do wonders for your stress, simply bc it is guaranteed.

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    Ugh, I'm feeling your pain right now as well. I'm mostly burnt out of the place I've been working in for the last few months. It's just not consistent enough anymore. I'm extremely broke which makes this situation ever harder. If it weren't for my bf, I'd be fucked literally :/
    I'm gonna try another place on monday & if it doesn't work out I'm gonna head up to Portland for awhile & take my chances. I've been so depressed on days that I have to go to work just dreading it & having to be scheduled. I'm prob just gonna quit for awhile & sponge off him until I can travel to work . I hope things look up for you dear <3 I'm sure all of us know how rough it is in this industry at times.
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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    I am currently studying full-time and I must get really good grades so I can't work 2 jobs . I've cut down to only one day per week now and people seem to think one day is not so bad but even then I think it's too much. So it's either body rub or vanilla job but it can't be both...

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    Be super picky with which customers you see. I find dropping my super annoying clients really therapeutic.

    I find other ways to make back the income I lose initially.

    Vanilla job wise - telesales and other jobs no one wants to tend to pay a lot better.

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    I'd really like some ideas about how to earn more income fast. My rent is due in 2 weeks & my current club is simply just NOT consistent enough anymore :/ To make matters worse, it's put me in this deep depression which keeps me somewhat unmotivated to keep my scheduled nights ugh I've posted on CL about work trade for rent in my town & applied for other jobs but nothing yet. Could I possibly make a quick $1,000 by camming in the next 2 weeks just starting out???
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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    Burnout is the worst feeling ever. I have found that in this industry you need to take constant breaks whenever you start to feel even a little bit overwhelmed, just head it off before it begins. I definitely think a long break will be good for you and then after your 2 weeks reevaluate, keep a semi-regular schedule so you can factor in your days off. I find regulars I actually somewhat enjoy are lifesavers and like said above be extra picky; a little less income is worth a lot less headache. Feel better soon! This industry does ebb and flow with the burnout but it doesn't last forever!
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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    I have also been in your position many a time and am currently having a burn out, more like "rock bottom" (finally feel like I am just absolutely done escorting) and on top of it in a pretty large financial predicament with my car. I keep cancelling appt. after appt. even though I know I could really use the $ to finish paying for my car to be fixed, but I just can't bring myself to! I'm planning on doing a modeling shoot this weekend and putting an ad out for body rubs next week and venturing into that world. I would like to start camming too. Anyways, enough about me, but just to let you know you aren't alone! My biggest thing I have to keep reminding myself (because anytime I have a burnout it just seems to be the worst time to pick it financially) that $ is just $, everything always works itself out, trust yourself, you are alive, healthy, have people that love you, etc. I find that if I constantly stress and get anxiety about it, it hinders me more in moving forward to figuring something else out. My suggestions:

    Like said above, weed out and be very selective about the clients you still see

    Stop worrying/thinking about it for a few days and get yourself back to a place where you remember feeling good/enjoying rubs/dancing so you get a bit of motivation back just to make your rent money

    CL and backpage for nude/erotic/etc. modeling and videos has worked wonders for me in times like this... only doing it during times like this helps me not get burned out on that and it's usually a quick easy chunk of cash

    Escorting?

    I did promo modeling for liquor brands for some time... not the greatest cash ($25/hr plus tips), but helps mentally/socially/etc.

    Don't worry, there's light at the end of the tunnel!

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    could you do waitressing or bar tending at a nice place? or some other job that was supplemented by tips? or maybe try stripping again, escorting, clips, something else in the sex industry? or are you just sick of the entire industry?
    i've been dealing with bad burnout for the past year :/ but can't take any time off at all, so i know how trapped you can feel

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    I second what Simone87 said unless you are tired of the sex industry entirely. I have had major burnout to where I have quit for months to years at a time. It was tough financially but I mentally NEEDED breaks. Now I dance when I get the urge or I need a break from escorting and vice versa. I also only have 3 regular clients. They are reliable and it's much less stressful this way.
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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    I wanted to revive this thread because this is what I've been going through for the past few months. I started at a new club a little while back and made good money consistently and then my income went down a bit. I went back to my old club and was back to enjoying stripping because I had friends there and it helped me get out of my funk. Then I was fired for the first time ever over some BS between me and a shady bouncer (long story) and since then I've been avoiding clubs altogether. I keep picturing myself not making money and I'm so embarrassed that I was fired somewhere.. last weekend I was about to work until the last second I talked myself out of it. I've just been using my credit card for bills but it's adding up and I NEED to make money.

    I don't have a lot of good options so tonight I decided to try this little divey club thats near the other two I worked at. Maybe a change of scenery will help? I'm just hoping it's not completely dead there and I can make some money and get out of this funk. I'm thinking about trying a dive because the past clubs I've been working at are all bigger and more upscale clubs. I haven't worked at a dive in a long time and maybe it'll be a nice change for a night.

    Anyone in the same boat or have any other advice?

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    I've been there. People don't always get fired fairly and girls get fired/sent home/suspended from clubs and camsites all the time. IME, when an option for making money is involuntarily removed, exploring the many others will be empowering and minimize anxiety. Try the dive, being hot and making money in a less stressful club will go a long way in making you feel better. Try camming and clips as well, there's a ton of money to be made virtually. Hell, if I knew it was an option when I was younger, I never would have stripped. Work a few busy shifts and see if the new place is profitable. Pamper yourself and guard your mental health. Eat well and get lots of sleep. Hope you feel better, best of luck
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    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    Thank you Julia! I've been refreshing this thread hoping someone would respond before I have to leave haha. I wish I could cam because it seems perfect for me since I am an introvert but I'm too afraid of the potential consequences (how it could affect getting a job later on).

    I agree with the dive being less stressful and that should hopefully help my mindset a bit. The other clubs I was working at are definitely faster paced and you have to be at your best to make good money. I'm hoping tonight goes okay.

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    Aw, I was hoping you'd avoided what seems to be the boob job irony -- getting one largely for work, doing much better initially, then getting hit with awful burnout. My heart's not in it anymore either. I'm still 'fine' moneywise by most people's standards, but as some quote goes, 'You go broke very slowly, but you become broke in an instant,' or something like that!

    I think your strategy sounds good though. Hope we both get our asses in tonight!

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    ^ haha I didn't even think about that. I'm talking in other threads about how work is so much easier now I have my BA and then I post this about burnout. I think it was coming before my BA and I also still make decent amounts of money but it's just where I'm at mentally. I literally DREAD going into work all week and then when it comes to the weekend I talk myself out of it. I just keep picturing myself sitting on my ass not making money and re-live all the annoying customers I've come across and it really fucks with my head. I need to get out of this negative mindset already!

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    Do you ever keep track of your income by shift? It really helps to be able to realize how much money you made and how little time it took relative to a vanilla job. You could also write down a list of all the GOOD customers you've had, how much fun stage is, how funny the DJ is, etc... anything that's a positive about the job.
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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    I agree also ^ Try to focus on all of the positive things this job offers & see if that helps any. I too am going thru a funk lately where I only wanna work specific nights due to thinking I only make $$ on that night in general. I also think that switching clubs in a great idea. I'm going to be doing this as well VERY soon. While this industry is lucrative, it def has unfair downfalls as well including asshole mngmnt, bouncers, Djs , that sort of thing which can lead us to not want to go to work for lengthy amounts of time. I went thru a phase w/ my current club a few months back where I didn't go in for over a month & I lived off of $1000 for the entire month. It was well worth it for my mental sanity but I was def broke afterwards & played catch up with rent, bills, etc :/

    Tonight I'm wanting to stay in bc I hate working sat nights at my club due to the idiot kids/clientele it brings in on the weekends; however I am pretty low on cash & really want to get out of my current situation so I try to focus on having a positive thought process about it as I'm getting ready for work.
    Hope this helps
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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    Thanks for the tips ladies! Selina that's a really good idea and I think I'll make a list of those things tomorrow after I get some sleep. I actually ended up going to the dive tonight but it was so dead in there I just went straight to my other club and made a good amount there. I'm already feeling a little better and less in a funk! The dive has some military tuesday thing so I might try it then. Anyway, I'm definitely feeling more positive now and I'm going to make lists of things I like about work so I keep this positive mindset going. Thanks!

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    I would always burn out of dancing whenever I started to take myself way too seriously. (Not saying this is anyone else's issue - I'm really just talking about myself).

    The amount of pressure I put on myself to bank every night I worked was...monumental. And crushing. Having a positive reputation in a smaller club can contribute to this type of burnout. You feel like everyone else is watching you all of the time, expecting you to make beaucoup bucks even on the slowest shifts. I would show up for a night of work, and everyone would ask me how many dances I sold my last shift, bouncers would comment on how many CRs I sold, etc. Sometimes it's in your head that other people are paying attention to your money, but other times it's actually a legitimate feeling!

    Sometimes it's nice to start at a new club when this happens. When you start there, claim you have only a little experience dancing (so no one is expecting you to kill it), and go with the flow in that new environment for a while. Naturally, this all depends on whether or not you can afford to make a bit less money while you recover from burnout.

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    Default Re: Feeling burned out

    I feel kind of weird posting this, because it was a thread I did months ago. But it might help someone who is going though burn-out.

    https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...ight=burn+gifs
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